Tuesday, December 30, 2008

A Dyssturbed Dream, Pt. 1

A bicycle helmet, tighty whities and a dog.
It's all I got. I don't know why.
Nor do I know why I am laying under this marquee.
Or why I am literally laying in the gutter.
And it is a wet gutter.
Must have been one interesting night up until now.
I can't remember why though.
I get up and try to get my bearings.
I can't.
I try to figure out where I am.
I don't.
I guess where home is and start walking.
I hear the dog woof softly.
I stop and turn.
He takes a couple of steps in the OPPOSITE direction and stops.
I follow.
At least one of us knows where the hell we are going.

At the corner of the next block, I see a sight.
I see the most beautiful caramel thighs.
And is that a thong she is wearing?
I walk, and stare.
I stare and walk.
I know I must have been staring hard.
Because I didn't realize I had a "reaction" to those thighs.
AND I was forcibly snapped back to reality.
By a playful and feminine voice saying "Is all that for me?"
I am stopped dead in my tracks.
I finally manage to return from fantasy land and look up.
And notice her looking at the same approximate latitude that I was.
Then she looks up too.
Damn! Eye contact! Now I gotta say something back!
"Um... Hey!" is all my brain can manage.
"Can't say I have seen that particular outfit outdoors before." she quipped.
I look down and notice there is a white cone of fabric between my eyes and where my shoes should be.
"You pitch a nice tent! I will just keep wondering about the helmet."
Great! I run across the one hooker with a smart ass mouth!
"Well you keep wondering about the helmet. I am still trying to figure out which of us is wearing the most fabric" I say as I give her a good looking over.
She chuckles lightly and says "Touche'! But you still didn't answer my question."
"Question?" I ask.
"Yeah, I asked if all that was for me" she said while checking my cone.
I completely forgot about that question.
Me being me, I had to ask "Is it free?"
She gives me one of those appraising looks as if she is considering it.
"Not tonight" was her decision of course.
"Just as well, my money is in my wallet in my pants. Wherever the hell THEY are..."
Might not have been much of a comeback, but I didn't know where any of that shit was.
"Well, maybe next time when you have pants with a wallet in them with money in it"
No she didn't!
"Or I can catch you on stage. At the strip club or at the Improv"
Hey! I had to say something! How the hell did I manage to find Jokey Smurf Hooker anyway?
"Ha Ha Mr. Tent Man. And I'm supposed to be the funny one? You have a good night because meeting you in that outfit sure made mine!"
"Well you have a good night too. You almost made my night too! Almost..."
You know as I walked away, I could have sworn that the dog was looking at me funny and shaking his damn head at me!

Part 2 to come...maybe...

Saturday, December 20, 2008

To Mah Boo

I have heard this song on the radio in the background the last couple of weeks. It seemed like a pretty cool song. I finally stopped to listen to it. I like this one. So much so I am dedicating this one to my Boobie! I might even buy some Usher now... This by no means says in any way that I am not still old school! I know you were thinking it Bootydo!

Without further ado. Usher singing Here I Stand.

p.s. To any of the Haremites and other lady visitors who are feeling underloved today, this is to you too.

Monday, December 15, 2008

The Mickey Frickin' Report.

Here is the situation so far:

  • I been a little absent. You aren't allowed to take me to task for it either. Get over it.
  • I have been thinking about all of you. Just ain't been able to visit much. Get over that too.
  • Good news:
    • The fall mission has been accomplished (to this point) with a high amount of success. I have one examination to go and I don't see that one being a problem since the questions for this one will probably be drawn from the previous three. Term GPA prediction 3.6 - 4.0.
    • My family may soon be reintegrated into one single unit. Currently the five members are dispersed among two locations.
    • The wife acquired herself some transportation.
    • Crip Mommie's casts are a thing of the past. She is in physical therapy and almost done using her support boot.
  • Bad news:
    • My MIL decided not to renew her lease for her current apartment. She announced this to The Wife around Thanksgiving. The lease is up at the end of the year. So that means housing is needed rather fast. Hence the reason for the reintegration of the household.
    • The Wife's recently acquired car is not as wonderful as it seemed. Needs work!
    • Mom has been dependent on my sister for her day to day care since I went to take care of Wifey. She is not the happiest about that. But she understands that it is necessary for our futures.
    • We got turned down for an apartment that we really, really, really, really, really wanted over an old damn bill. That was some bullshit! But maybe the alternate solutions may be better since they could include the dog too!
    • Can you say Root Canal? I sure the hell can! Got tortured in that damn chair for a whole work shift! In at 9:00, out at 3:00! Thank god for Motrin, Tylenol (with codiene), and Keflex!!!
    • Because of the uncertainty with the whole auto industry and that farce that is Congress, the wife has been given a termination date for her position. It's even colder in the D than I realized...
    • Water pills. Need I say more?
    • I just got fucked royally by my advisor! My plan of work is FINALLY FUCKING FINISHED!!!! Of course there seem to be three ADDITIONAL classes that I need to take. Why did I get fucked royally do you ask? Well...
      • I asked for it in August.
      • Had I known about the three other classes, I would have taken 12 credits instead of the 9 that I took. Especially since the nine that I took were the only ones I COULD take because the rest were offered Winter 2009 term.
      • Would not have lost out on 25% of my financial aid last term.
      • The news would not have been such a shock early on.
      • Finishing this term would have put me half way done with what is left instead of one third the way done with the remainder.
      • I absoultely did not intend on taking FUCKING SPRING/SUMMER CLASSES!!!! Never did before! Why the hell start now.
      • Not sure if my gubment handout covers a third term.
      • I need to be able to relocate sooner than later since the job market in Michigan is on life support.
      • Did I mention ANOTHER FUCKING TERM?
      • And the capper to ALL of that is this... Registration for the next term started about six weeks ago. Wanna guess what the status is on all these damn classes I need to take right about now?
      • IF I manage to take all that I can THIS semester, it would mean day classes, evening classes AND classes at a different campus! Man I swear!!!
    • I may get convicted of committing murder on my advisor.

Aside from all that, things are going. Some days are better than others. The semester is winding down and I will have to get into moving mode very quickly. Ain't promising presence. But I will have a little more time to devote to all of you. If I ain't writing, I will at least be reading.

In case of another absence. Happy Holidays early in case I don't get back until later. The situation is still fluid and dynamic so I will be back this way whenever.

And don't tell Usama you saw me!

(somehow I think I left something out...)

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Words From The Desert Man

What da fuck?

Da hell is going on up in here?

Look all unused and abused.

Where everybody at?

And what is that smell?

Smell like old cheese farts or something. with... i dunno... onions?

Ah! White Castle boxes!!! Which one of these rotten assed sumbitches farted before locking the door up in here!

Mail all piled up. Judging by the noms de blog, everybody been by. Some of these notes ain't so nice...

Looka here, Diva (know she 'bout fit to be tied), Ms. B. (done went on vacation and come back and still nothing), I will be all day going through this.

I would apologize for the rest of these fools but there is just no apology big enough.

I don't know what is up with these characters, ever since The Dark One talked Brainz into finishing school, things have been on a slide. Biker Dude done rode off to "bike ridin' country", wherever the hell that is. Hoeman been rather happy spoonin' booty lately so he ain't gonna be worth jack shit, or john shit either.

I bet it was that damn Sixty-Eight that left these damn White Castle boxes and the pungent ass White Castle fart that they tend to generate. Wonder how he sealed that shit in though? And why the spiders didn't die? Look at all them damn cobwebs!

Well, fuck that! I ain't cleaning up this joint!!! And I ain't blogging in this shithole!!! Guess I am gonna have to go find these assholes and bitchslap one or three into this damn blogging chair so y'all won't feel left out and such. And to clean up around here. I hear there is some news too.

Lemme get to gettin'! I got some dudes to find!


-Usama Bin Louie

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Tagged!: 7 Random Facts And Other Madness

1. Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.

2. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.

3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.

4. Let each person know that they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Well thanks Aretha! I blame you for this!

  1. I have separate drinking vessels for every type of beverage I consume! - Yeah. That's right! I got a coffee mug, a tea mug, a cold beverage mug, a giant water jug and bottles and even drinking glasses for the spirits and wine. Okay, we will just get this outta the way early, I am anal! BUT most of my drinkware is plastic and insulated. You all know how plastic holds smells. I can't stand drinking a cola and smelling coffee in it! Or coffee and Plantation Mint smells whilst sipping on a nice lager! Hmm... Come to think about it am I the strange one?
  2. I can't stand grease on my hands. - Never liked it. Never will. The thing with the grease is because it be all sticky and slippery at the same time. Hence the reason you will never smell Afro Sheen up in my do. Can't stand this so much that I will immediately stop whatever process I am in and go wash my hands.
  3. I hate persistent smells on my hands. - This one is simply because I sleep with my hands near my face. Usually on one or both. And my nose is very sensitive most of the year (when it ain't clogged from the crazy weather changes in Michigan). So having things that are not pleasant smelling on my hands will keep me from sleeping! Okay it bothers me if I am awake too!
  4. I am a pack rat who can find things in the clutter. - My own personal spaces I tend to keep things that may be useful in the future. Other folks garbage is my treasure, to an extent. People are constantly amazed that I can remember where stuff is amongst the "garbage dump" (their term) of my stuff. Of course I done saved folks asses numerous times with a well timed piece of "junk" being used to niggarig their broke ass shit! Now on the finding things, this next item will explain...
  5. I like order. - "Everything has a place and everything in it's place. If it doesn't have a place in my house it has no real function and hence has no need to exist in my house." This I have told to my kids ad infinitum. You would think those damn slobs would have learned that by now. The Wife takes that approach and goes overboard. For her, if it needs cleaning up then it needs circular filing! But back to me, I can find the smallest damn thing where folk only see disorder because I mentally catalog everything that I have. I can usually remember the last place I saw something. Of course that gets knocked off kilter when my folk "clean up". I put the clean up in quotes because their idea of cleaning up is taking the junk you moved from the area in question and putting it in a closet in a garbage bag.
  6. Leave my shit alone! - This is definitely me. I have found that folk don't treat your things with nearly as much reverence and respect as you. But then again they didn't pay for it either and usually look at you like you are the one that fucked up when they break your shit. So I don't like folk messing around in my stuff. For instance, I collect Hot Wheels and mini motorcycles. Sometimes I put them out on display. Then folk come by and want to play with my shit. How dare these neanderthals want to play with my toys like they are...TOYS or something!!! I don't give a damn if you are three and like cars! Keep yo' little grubby hands off my shit! People sure aren't raising kids to the same standards like they used to! Humorous rant aside, it really does bug me because I have had a whole Hot Wheels collection DESTROYED like that. And when you are eight and had to BEG to get each and every one and come home from vacation and find your collection of 25 hard fought and won wonders broken, bent and missing, it does something to you! To this day, I will go and buy you one if you really want to play with one that bad! Seriously. And I find that grown folk ain't really no better with ya shit so this ain't just about Hot Wheels. That was just a good example...
  7. I got more friends in Blogworld than Bushworld - What can I say? I like you guys a lot. I just hope y'all ain't crazier than I think ya are! Especially since I would like to meet SOME of you! Yeah, y'all chew on that last one. I will leave you to figure out who is in and who isn't. Fight it out amongst yaselves. To the winners go the spoils of me!
What? Why y'all looking at me all funny and shit? You KNEW I had to fuck with SOMEBODY on this damn post! If you didn't then you obviously didn't read the sign over the door when ya came in! Don't know what party you think THIS is. You know how I do it! I keeps it on tha madness! Shoo, ya betta axe somebody!

For those who might be wondering about their status per #7, I can say this. I ain't saying no names, but those who got a big ole ass, ya probably in. If ya knockas is bangin', ya probably in (that includes danglers too (maybe)). If you declared your undying love for me, or at least expressed your desire not to share me with others, ya probably in. If ya mind is as hot as ya body, ya probably in. If 310 means anything to you, you probably in. If you think I sound good on the phone or the lazy blog, you more than likely are in. If you got good cookies (marinate on that at ya leisure), you likely are in. If ya accent makes ya voice even sexier, by gosh give ya self an extra point or two. Hell if ya voice is sexy as hell, you can call me anytime and count yaself amongst the likely. IF ya talk a good sex game, you might be better off than most. If you are a homie and you have been known to turn up a tankard and you buying the first round, you definitely in! Hell if you are buying the first round then you in anyway!
And last but not least, if I told you I liked you more than ice cream and:
  • You are a dude: Consider this the end of our relationship because I don't do that gay shit...
  • You are a chick: Expect The Wife to come and bring that beat down because she may discover that you are the one I was cheating with!
If I missed any of you with these inside jokes, charge that to the Oldtimers and not the heart. Unless of course you really ARE out...

Oh, BTW. This is a voluntary tag because I stupidly promised immunity to several persons the last two times. AND I think I was the only one to get away with this the last time this particular bug was going around so y'all may have exhausted your weirdness already. Not likely, but maybe...

Wednesday, November 19, 2008


From the never say never files:
The Wife is the proud owner of a new used Cadillac! She of course never liked Cadillacs. Figure the irony!

Gas prices have come down. The gas fueled price increases on food haven't. Go figure...

It's coming down to crunch time. I doubt that I will be around any more often than I have been lately. But I won't be gone any more often that I know of. So this ain't a blog break or fake retirement or anything. Just an update.

As it stands, this semester is going along rather swimmingly. Unless I seriously drop the ball, I should come out of this semester with at worst an A and two B's. But three A's is more likely. I shall keep you posted.

I swear if my advisor does not make my damn plan of work a priority, I am gonna move into her damn office! I started this process a couple of years back. She kept putting me off by telling me I needed to get my records updated. I finally did that last summer since it was on my mind to drop in to Morehouse to get that transcript. Never stopped at the college but I got it done online. And the local CC the January before that. So by the time I got to her in August, she was surprised to find the records that she had just requested I get (again) were already on file. So she told me that she needed to get past Registration to get it done. That was to take about two weeks after Labor Day. She got about six extra weeks. I sent an e-mail early last week. Followed up with a phone call at the end of the week. Still not done. She hadn't gotten to the e-mail by the phone call. She assured me that it would be done by Monday (just passed). It wasn't. I just dropped in all unannounced today (since I happened to be there) to see how things were going. Okay, it was a physical reminder that I was stoking the fire under her. The office worker steered off telling me that walk=in counseling was on Tuesday when I mentioned that I needed a status on my Plan Of Work which she has been "working" om all semester. It is supposed to be done before week end. I guess the database will be repaired by then. I get the feeling that I will be there on walk-in counseling to blow cognac breath on her fire. I can't finish registering until she gets on her job and gets my approvals and makes sure all the t's and i's are crossed and dotted. Registration started two weeks ago... Y'all feel me?

Friday, November 14, 2008


I just bought gas at $1.89!!!!!!! Then got mad that I saw it for $1.87 two blocks away.

Pass it on!!!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Thursday Thirteen: The Haremite Nickname Edition

The originators of T13 and rules of participation can be found HERE

Bootydo - Probably one of my favorite nicknames. This one belongs to Thoughts of a Southern Gal. She gave herself this one because of a party recently. She got so full that her belly was poking the front of her dress out a bit. It prompted her to say "(I had to just finished eating b/c I have a bootydo (stomach sticks out more than your booty do)." Well the stomach was sticking out but not quite enough to make that statement true. Nonetheless, she gets the name anyway.

Jazzy Diva - (this is the real one...) The Blog Wife - AKA Blog Nag Blog Nag - AKA the Blog Wife, (lemme quit playin' before her pouty lip pokes my eye out...)AKA THE Diva, AKA H. R. Paperstacks, AKA... Okay, you get the idea. Most of you probably have guessed this one belongs to none other than Opinionated Diva. To some of you, I am positive I don't have to explain this one. Nonetheless she earns this one and many others because she is the stuff. Nothing like somebody having ya e-back! Other edit: Cutesy names: Sasha Blogdanovich, Tubecandy, The Mad Blur, Ms. Photoshop. I am taking suggestions! Okay, Okay! JW Paperstacks!!! I wasn't gonna use that one because I thought it may tell too much...

Queen Of My Extra Half Yard Of Fabric - AKA Queen of a Black Man's Fantasies, AKA You Shole Look Good In That _______! (and her fine ass sister too!). She got this one because of her horrible fabric estimation skills. Okay, kidding. She got it because she has such a bodacious backside that the lady in the fabric store told her that she would DEFINITELY need more fabric to make the dress she envisioned. The story was far more entertaining when she told it but that blog is no more, so I can't quote it...

Xena: Warrior Wife - AKA Misswhoopabitchorthree, AKA Lurkus Maximus, AKA She Who Shall Not Be Named (because she don't want one), AKA... This one belongs to The Wife of course. If y'all ain't read the story on how she got that one, then bump into her vehicle. Or mess with her yella man! Or better yet, ask or research a bit and save the ass whoopin'!

Ghetto Kuntree - This one belongs to Creamy, Dreamy and Ghetto Mary. Y'all probably know her as The Dreamy One. I still like The Creamy One, but I digress. She is a feisty little something though. So I can see the Ghetto Mary part. But she sounds SOOOOOooooo southern, I couldn't resist. And no my dear, you are NOT annoying, except when you declare that you are annoying, which bugs me because you aren't... Strange how that works.

Jelly Bean - AKA The One Of Many Names, AKA Who Are You This Week? AKA Alla Y'all, AKA Sybill. The main face of this beauty is (currently) Jaila. But there are a few others who tag along when she goes for a shower or something. How she got this name is a long and convoluted story. So you will just have to keep guessing.

Nikki Make-A-Horny - AKA Nikki Indigo or just Nikki. She was the first one to make my monitor catch fire. And she had me from that moment. BTW that ain't the number one reason I like her though. But the other reasons don't make for good nicknames.

Doctor Ladybud - Yes, the one and only Ladylee - The Original Oldgirl got a name from me too. Who knew you could assimilate all that edumacation in a bud induced state? Now If I can only persuade her to use all that edumacation for my evil purposes (without threatening to use it ON me...), then I will be good! I think she got a PhD in knitting too. Had to have the way she drops them exploding knitting needles all over the place...

The Absent - Some of you probably know her as The Addict. But she been quite absent of late. Yeah, I know I got a lot of damn nerve saying so, but I am here NOW! But every time I think of her I reflect back to the Old Blog Ball And Chain (Oooo! Another one for her...) and her troubles getting me to post.

Pocahunnie - Or Pocahontaz to the rest of you. This one kinda evolved... well... because she is! She is also the one person on this list who ain't The Wife who WILL be getting some on my birthday! Since she chose to get married on that day!

Hot Minnie - AKA Nawf Cackylacky! Or Minerva Exertion. Her blog name sounds more like the nick name doesn't it? Got two words for ya sweetie! Good and Riddance!!!!!!!

The Mad Dangler - Yes Tom_Gurl, this one is for you! Why? Well, you said it yourself! See: "I did make the effort…wore skinny jeans, shoes…a nice top with the ‘twins dangling, like Sanaa Lathan’s character in Brown Sugar’ LMAO!" I still ain't got no damn picture though... Hint hint

Damn You Changed It Again?!? - Yes, the one, the only Ms. Behaving. She got that name because of the frequency in which we all do a double take and leave and come back to her page. Because the damn layout changes with her outfit I think... Something...

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Are You On Facebook?

Since I been strong armed by somebody, who I won't mention out loud, to friend up on Facebook, (Blog Wife (Oops, guess I mentioned her anyway...)) I am taking requests all day! If you know the name you can find me on your own. If you don't then you need to get at me if you wanna be down with the Madness! Comment section and e-mail work just fine!

I am [encrypted transmission] and I paid for and approved this message!

Friday, November 07, 2008

Thursday Thir... Wha? It's Friday? Oh... Nehmind...

So I WAS gonna do this T13. But yesterday was actually a Thursday 17!!! The boy is now one more tick closer to thinking he is a man. And yesterday I spent running around getting the cake and his new PSP and what not. So I was a little busy, then I got full, then I got cake, then I got sleep.

Would it help if I said "I love you bunches"? Hey, at least you work bloggers can read this instead of getting a lazy blog. Which I might do anyway... Nah!

Friday means rescheduled Computer Science exam. Since there was a bomb threat last week at the VERY same building...

Wednesday, November 05, 2008


Yes!!! Another win. Once again my vote has netted the desired result. Another win. I am sure folk will blog into infinity about this election and it's historic nature. So I won't bore you.

I ain't saying it was a win for women. Sarah Palin provided that.

I ain't saying it was a win for black folk (or biracial folk or cannibalasians (or whatever Tiger Woods calls himself.)). Barack Obama did that.

This one is a win FOR ME!!!

Why you ask? Damn good question!

Because I have never prospered under a Republican administration. My own personal economy usually goes into a severe recession if not a depression. Remember I have only seen ONE Democratic administration as an adult. And boy did I prosper! And things just happen to be looking up even before the results of the election were announced. Y'ALL FEEL ME?

So I win! I hope to continuing that win for at least the next four years!


On the black hand side...

Monday, November 03, 2008

Another Turning Point

I think i may be hitting another one of those places where the dissatisfaction generates motion.

Right now I am getting near the end of my "vacation". Tomorrow is my wife's second follow-up visit to the surgeon. She may be cleared back to work any day now. Which means I won't need to be here any longer.

The thing is that I am starting to not really feel ANY desire to return to where I was. Things are just not really working out for me. I kinda get that molasses feeling. That barrel crab feeling. That stuck in shit feeling. But I am tired of being poor. Tired of being co-dependent on someone who is dependent on me. But we can't do anything but tread water and hold on to each other. I can't do that anymore.

And on the other side of the coin, The Wife is suddenly faced with the prospect of finding a place to live. Her mom is not renewing her lease. She is moving with the other daughter. She let this be known a couple of weeks ago. During disability check time.

I see that as a way out to a certain extent. I just need to find me a source of my own income. And let go the fact that I need to be there for my mother to prosper. I still ain't sure how it will work out on that. But I guess I will never know if I don't go.

But I must live. So I gotta decide for me.

I shall find me some work. And some space to call my own.

I will cross my fingers.

And hope for a nice position out of town where I can ride a motorcycle more months than not. Okay, at least a good nine months is not the whole year.

Ya hear that world? Year round bike riding!

Anyway. I gotta finish dinner.

Wish me luck. And coherent thoughts if I lost any of you.

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Can Y'all Believe This Shit?

I am almost ashamed to claim the Metro Detroit Area as my home. Why? Because there are some seriously dumb and twisted folk up in this bitch! You don't believe me? Read this...

Supporting Obama? No treats for you at Grosse Pointe Farms house

Can I get a "What The Fuck???" up in here?

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Thursday Thirteen: Wordless Wednesday Style: Eye Of The Beholder

Thursday Thirteen Home

Monday, October 27, 2008

Y'all Know What THIS Is...

Comment | Copy This

Okay, so maybe no picture. I didn't lie, my phone is acting a jackass. What can ya do?

Friday, October 24, 2008

A Guest Blogger @ A Dyssturbed Mined

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Anaya Princess Marie

Oh Woe Is Me!

Okay, no it ain't! But that popped into my mind for some strange reason.

Things are cool. The Wife is doing well. She went in for her two week evaluation on Monday. She finally got to see her leg again. It needs lotion but isn't bad overall. The doctor removed the tape around the sutures and that had been causing her some of the discomfort in the first cast. Now she has a nice purple cast (her favorite color). Which coordinated with her purple sweats that I bought her so she could leave the house without trying to squeeze her cast into some tight pants. THIS of course was a problem because the inactivity has allowed her to gain some weight. I am sure you can see where this is headed and why my hair is trying to turn a touch gray. It didn't help that the cleaning lady at her job had the nerve to say "girl you done picked up some weight!" I really could have murdered that woman right then because I been hearing the whole fat speech since then. LAWD save me!

And she has taken to entertaining herself with reading the gross stupidity that is known as the "letters to the editor" sections of various online sites. I don't relly think she believed how stupid things got when the great unwashed and unlettered get a forum to display their ignorance. Oh... wait... Does that sound elitist? Have I become an Obama? Eh-nee-waaaayyyyy... But yes, she is finding the opinions of the average american extremely entertaining. So I guess getting the computer working is generating benefits.

Mom seems to be doing okay with the rest of the folk looking after her. Hopefully things turn toward good a little faster soon.

I feel like a stretched rubber band. Not that I am complaining. There are benefits to being where I am. My days no longer are filled with finding ways to relieve boredom. I am relearning how to juggle things. I may just come back to life.

School updates: Midterm edition:

  • I am stil awaiting my score from my Astronomy exam. I don't know what happened to the scores. I guess I shall continue to wait.
  • I did the presentation for Systems Analysis. I could have gone better. I was thrown off a little by the fact that my group members had trouble keeping my visual aids on the screen. Especially since they were keeping me on track during the presentation since we couldn't have notes.
  • I got the midterm for that class back that same day. Chalk up that grand slam y'all! A hunned pacenn thank ya! The rest of the class didn't seem to do as well because he felt the need to offere a deal to encourage class participation. He is going to spit the difference between the midterm and final scores and add that to the midterm grade. So those who dropped the ball on the midterm get a chance to improve that grade by doing well on the final. Doesn't do jack shit for me, but then again I get what is going on! I don't need no stinking crutch!!!
  • Tonight I hand in the first assignment in my comptuer class. It works as it is supposed to. It is my original code. I have a flow chart and pseudocode. Hopefully it is all he asked for. Since he didn't require that we do data validation, I didn't add any. But it takes the required inputs. It gives the required outputs. My black box works to specifications as given. Should score high.
  • Got a quiz in Astronomy to finish before tomorrow night. Guess I will do the reading and take it before I leave. I am 10 points short of perfect on the quizzes. So I missed a question on tidal friction. I bet I got that sumbitch on the exam though.
  • Time to start concentrating on the DSS project Systems Analysis and the paper for Astronomy.
  • Assuming I don't have any major meltdowns, I should get at least two if not three A grades this semester.
  • Registration of the next semester starts the day before election day. All three of the classes I need are offered and I am in line for being done with classes in early may. Unless of course I opt for grad school...
Well, that is what is up on my front. I will attempt to be a little more regular now. I hope...

Friday, October 17, 2008

Another Update

The wife is healing okay. She had a few foot bangers and a few too many times of sitting up to teach her that pain is your friend ONLY when you listen to it! She goes in for her checkup on the 21st. We shall see what happens.

I am trying to get this damn computer at her place working. After a couple of defective power supplies and a missing router config disk, I may be online to bother y'all again soon. I found the router disk and managed to get the dang router and the modem talking finally. The first power supply was defective and didn't stay on longer than about 15 minutes at a time. Took that back, and upgraded to a more powerful one (just in case there were power issues). Installed the second one and turned it on. I heard noises that I didn't expect to hear. Didn't hear noises I expected to hear. Smelled something funny. Reached for the power button. Saw fire. Reached for the power cord with the other hand. And BLEW THE DAMN FIRE OUT!!! Tomorrow I shall acquire power supply number three. In the meantime, I have been using the one from my computer to configure their computer. Cross ya fingas y'all!

But I have been enjoying my time with the people I am supposed to live with even though it isn't the place we are supposed to live. But I will take what I can get at this point!

Much love folk!

Wednesday, October 08, 2008


Figured I would post SOMETHING since I am in front of a computer.

The Wife is through surgery. Recovering well (when she sits down).

I am back and forth between houses. So I still ain't got a handle on everything. So I came to campus to take my exam for my online class.

But the news isn't all bad so I shall keep on keepin' on.

I wonder what the world is gonna be like when folk can't live in the margin anymore? Can you imaging a credit free United States? The whole damn country will be a black innercity neighborhood... I got my hookup!

Friday, October 03, 2008

Temporarily Relocated...

I have been away from home since the last update.

Last week The Wife was attending a rather exciting high school football game. As she was cheering on our nephew's seeming single handed heroics, she ran into a problem.

There was this really big (her description) white man standing behind her. Since there were no bleachers everybody had to stand... While they were jumping up and down and cheering, he landed on her heel. Usually this will give you a flat tire (your shoe back stepped down and off your foot). In her case he landed on her Achilles tendon. It snapped. For those of you unfamiliar with the concept, the Achilles is the major tendon between the calf muscles and the heel of the foot. Yep! Major!

So I have been staying with her this last week. Much to her mother's chagrin. But I have been the enforcer and the driver and such. So she is keeping off of it as best as I can manage it.

She will be having surgery on Monday (probably by the time most of you read this...) She will be off her feet for between 2-6 weeks. I will likely be between houses for that period. So forgive me if I seem to be laming out on y'all or something.

On the other hand. I have been working on getting her and the kids a little better access to a computer and the internet. So between this all and her incredible boredom... I might get her in after all!!! Y'all might actually get posts from her! Or even a full blown blog! But I ain't promising anything...

I will hollerate later as I can!



Friday, September 26, 2008

Temporary Hiatus

Some of you may have been wondering where I have been for the last few days. Some of you probably think nothing of it because it ain't that unusual of me. BUT I have a good reason for not being here. I have been having a "beef" with the gods of energy in the old hometown. As a result my computer is suffering from a distinct lack of energeticness...

But we must press on.

So I will try to keep up with y'all as I can.

Until all of my energy needs are being met again, I shall be somewhat sparse. And coming from the library computers likely.

Of course y'all know that my excuse is gonna officially be that my comptuer is broke!!! That is at least the lie I am gonna tell in ya comment sections! Well not so much a lie, since it is broke if it don't work. And if it doesn't have something that it needs to work...

For now...

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Birthday Day!

Today is the birthday of two very special ladies. Now I was gonna do a really cool and cute tribute to them and all that. But I won't. Why? I did mention that they were "special" right?

I was gonna post pictures and all and talk nicely about them. Put my admiration all out in public and be all gushing over them and such. It would have been a spectacular performance too! One good enough to make a wife jealous!!!


I ain't gonna do that. Because one be playin' too much with Photoshop, yes we understand you got talent... And the other IS JUST FREAKING MISSING!!! AHEM...

So to the other, I will just say Happy Birthday Haremite Queen Of My Castle!!!

To the one...

Reasons Why I Might Not Come To Your Blog… By Opinionated Diva and The Second Sixty-Eight!!!

1. Comment Moderation…HATE IT!!! I know for some it’s a necessary evil, but I still hate it. When I leave a comment I like to see it right away. I also like to see what others have to say, so I’m not repeating exactly what someone has JUST said.
Well you are a lot nicer than me! I will straight up not even come by anymore if I gotta wonder if you got it or not. Usually I find that NOBODY is interesting enough for me to put up with that, blog stalkers or not...
And that word verification stuff is some bullshit too! Especially when the damn thing is longer than my comment!!!

2. Infrequent Posting…After a couple of days of nothing and not seeing you around the blog way, I just start thinking you’re on blog hiatus, so I don’t come by.
What? I KNOW you ain't trying to put a brotha on blast!!! All I know is you best have them butt cheeks around these parts on the regular. I mean harass me and e-mail stalk me. Call me and cuss me out. But you are obligated by the Harem code to come by here!!! Dammit!!!
Er... this ain't NECESSARILY about me? Oh... Well... wait... ... ... Hey!

3. Automatic Music players…*sigh* I REALLY hate these. They also slow your page down. I usually end up hitting the little “x” in the upper right corner, when I come to these pages. Which brings me to the next item…
You know you love it when I do that! But only if the post requires background music! Now everybody else...

4. Busy Pages…Too many pictures…too many surveys…too much every damn thing. These pages take FOREVER to load. I don’t care if I’m on the laptop at home or on the pc at work or on the crackberry…it’s still a slow download. Me and patience broke up years ago…not able!
Whoo lawd! You ain't said but a word! Wait... Mine ain't busy is it? Cause if it is then you need to upgrade...

5. Constant Secks Sex Talk…I enjoy talking about secks sex about as much as any other hot blooded female, however I need more than that. I don’t wanna read about how you got that good good or how big “junior” is or how much stamina you have either – some things should be left unsaid. In the past this wasn’t a big deal, but these days, I don’t comment on these posts.
Well, I ain't female. So I don't mind nearly as much... Okay, so what about constant sexual innuendo? Oh, and the strikethroughs are because we use grown folk words ova here!

6. No Reciprocity…blogging is a sharing caring community…you visit me and I visit you. I know I am guilty of not visiting everyone that visits me regularly though, so let me know if I’m neglecting you…it is purely by accident.
Yeah. I am trying to make sure that I at least put the page in my favorites if I don't read it that day. And I hate it when I don't get return blogrolled! Okay, I don't hate it. But I used to. But I decided that it was for me to keep up with MY favorites... Just because the other person is a busta...

7. Soliciting…Coming to my blog to advertise your blog, is how you get me to NOT come to your blog. I excuse this from my regs and other T13’rs, but new folks? It’s not necessary. I see a new name and I automatically want to see who you are. Chill.
You know I was gonna ask why you excuse it from the regs. But then I realized that sometimes we have such good stuff that we gotta tell you about it. Like I am gonna do as soon as I post this! But we are so in agreement!

8. Bad Grammar…I’m the queen of broken sentences and I deliberately use bad grammar (regularly)…because hell sometimes it’s just funny to type it that way, but I mix it up. There is a difference between what I do and people who have no business writing a post. These are usually the people who leave the most confusing comments too. *inside joke here* hee hee
Really? So who indeed is the joke really on? I too have encountered a few spots and comments that left me doing that confused monkey head scratch thing...

9. Ya Bore Me! Sorry. I know some people really write for their own enjoyment and this might include writing post after post about their boring life. Just because you have a boring life does not mean you can’t write it with humor and make it interesting. Hell…my life is boring. There’s nothing going on…but you gotta be able to poke fun at yourself and the boring stuff that happens to you to connect with your readers or at least to engage me.
Um... Okay... SOMEBODY is feeling a little mean or something... You know, remember "Keep in mind that I'm an artist. And I am sensitive about my shit" No? Okay... I am witcha sis! I just had to poke fun at ya mean ass!

10. Post Sagas…sometimes I’ll read a really long post and I’m engrossed because it’s just that funny or bizarre, etc. MOST OF THE TIME I AINT ABLE!!! Get to the point! Editing is your friend! So what THIS post is a long one!
LMAO @ "Editing is your friend!" I have grown accustomed to the really long post thanks to Ladylee and Freaky Deaky! You know I bet they can kill a cell phone battery! What? I only pick with those I really like!

11. I don’t like you and/or I can’t relate to you…it’s nothing personal (most of the time).
I need add nothing to this...

12. I don’t do motivational…OK…that’s not entirely true. I stole that line from Rashan - LOL. I lump all the excessively motivational, spiritual and infomercial-style posts in the same pile…and I avoid that pile!
Um... Yep! Except for Miss Kitty. She understands reciprocity (#6, huh?) and you always gotta have at least ONE friend around to keep you from being dragged through the gates of hell without notice. God knows the rest of you ain't able! And she ain't excessively either...

13. Creepy poetry…I don’t dislike poetry as a whole, but all that constant crap about unrequited love and nonsensical crapola that could mean THIS but might mean THAT, but since you’re trying to be so clever and poetic, you’re never really clear about what it is you mean…well all that confusing mumbo jumbo is annoying. Pass
Um... yyyeeeaaaahhhh... I tend to avoid poetry as much as possible. I am good thanks! Prose is my tool and I shalt use it! I may not know art, but I know what I like! Alright, I won't be elitist. SOME poetry is okay.

Now with all that said…there are certain bloggers that I would follow regardless…these are the people I harass to post…the ones who I email harass…text harass…or harass on any level really. Harassing is how I show you my love! lol
Yeah I know. And you been doing it to me from the start. BUT you don't have to harass me today! Cause YOUR post is up!

Happy Birthday Haremite Opinionated Diva!!!!!
Edit: And congrats to you and your family on the arrival of your spanking brand new nephew, only a day late...

Friday, September 19, 2008

DAMN!!! That Was Embarrassing!!!


I cannot help but to admit, I been slipping!

I seem to have forgotten something very important!

Almost too embarrassing to mention really.

Y'all probably gonna laugh y'all asses off.

Which will upset me and make me take my ball and go home!

Not that the hissy fit will make things any better.

Okay, MAYBE it would make me feel better...

Guess I will quit stalling and let you in on the secret too!




Um... I seem to have forgotten my own Second Blogiversary!!!!!

Guess I will have to go back and post one for that day!

Hell one for last year too!

At any rate... Fuck it!

Happy Blogiversary to me!!!!!!

Warning!!! Partially naked chick to follow!!!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Thursday Thirteen: Favorite TV Characters 2

Here are a few more of my favorite characters as seen on TV. The first was man heavy so I flipped the script on this one.

The originators of this series can be found HERE

Edit: This is a redo. Not as good as the previous never to be seen version but I didn't think you all should have to suffer because of something you had no control over...

Nyota Uhura - The single greatest reason to travel in space in the 22nd century. Her and Yeoman Rand were the main two reasons all them Ensigns named Jones signed on to get maimed or killed on the Enterprise NCC-1701 (Not bloody -A or-B or -C or -D or any other letter...) That Kirk was one lucky muhfugga!!! I wish somebody would have forced me to kiss on that!

Grace Adler - Lucy is back! Red, gorgeous and funny as hell! Except this time instead of being a popular club owner, her Ricky is a gay lawyer. I guess that is progress. Man if only she could fill out a bra or some panties!

Kelly Bundy - Blonde, sexy, dumb, trashy. What more could a dude want for a Saturday night? This eye candy had me cracking up many days. She could still "knock me over with the weather". Her trying to graduate high school is still one of the best moments in TV history!

Alexx Woods - A smart woman in a sexy body enrobed in chocolate. How ain't that the hotness? What more needs to be said? Ladylee? Is that you? No? She is just playing you on TV huh?

Xena - Big, bold, beautiful and beat down. Yeah, the show was kinda campy and a little over the top. But I loved it anyway.

Piper Halliwell - She sure had me Charmed. Smart, sexy, talented, a little 'tude. She made me like skinny women again, the witch! All I wanna know is what a brotha gotta do to get a spell put on him?

Jack McFarland - Not a lady but a queen. And since Dana Scully was the lone lady on the last post, he gets her spot here. Wildly funny and way gayer than I could ever imagine a dude.

Trudy Joplin - This gal had a name plate on her desk that said "Big Booty Trudy"! I have been hers ever since!

Kelly Garrett - Everybody has a favorite Angel. This one was mine. How smoking is she? When I me the real lady some 20+ years after the show, she was STILL smoking hot!!! A tiny little thing though...

Denise Huxtable - After she lost them braces, she gained me! Yeah I got a weakness for light, bright and a shade from white. I gotta love me afterall. But she definitely made me look forward to college that year!

Max Guevara - Hot! The bad girl image, the motorcycle and the super powers only added to the wonderfulness! Hell I don't even remember what most of the episodes of Dark Angel were about. But I know why I was watching!

Catwoman - Each alone is a good reason for being in this list. Together omitting them would be a straight crime! Man I sure did like black sequined body stockings back in the day!

Wonder Woman - Do I really need to explain this one? Too bad that campy was the name of the game in the 60's and 70's when doing super heroes. Sure could use some of her now that Smallville seems to be creating the Justice League. Hell I didn't even know I liked Hispanic women until she came along!

Blogger Is A Jackass!!!

Well. My Thursday Thirteen post seems to have come to a shitty end. Blogger is acting a straight jackass. So all of the content that I added over the last couple of hours is gone into the ether...


Muthafuck you Blogger witcha bitchass self!!!!


Back to your regularly scheduled programming... already in progress...

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Even More Politricks?

Something I found circulating on my Family's Website...
Apparently The Michigan Messenger posted the following article.
According to the Detroit News, The Obama campaign and the Democratic National Committee filed the suit in U.S. District Court against the Michigan GOP over this report. The Republican Party denies using such tactics.

Read and then research for yourself. But most of all be aware...

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Sarah Massey

The Michigan GOP has announced plans to use a list of housing foreclosures as the basis for a broad voter-caging operation, as reported yesterday by Eartha Jane Melzer in The Michigan Messenger.

James Carabelli, chairman of the Republican Party in Macomb County, Michigan, has announced plans to assign "election challengers" to polling places to question the eligibility of home foreclosure victims based on residency.

"We will have a list of foreclosed homes and will make sure people aren't voting from those addresses," Carabelli told the Messenger.

Today Teresa James, attorney for the voting rights organization Project Vote, and author of the 2007 report Caging Democracy: A 50-Ye ar History of Partisan Challenges to Minority Voters, issued the following statement in response:

The Macomb County GOP's plan is a cynical partisan attempt to suppress the vote of thousands of low-income and African-American voters, a replay of the 2004 threats of mass challenges. Just because you're behind on your mortgage doesn't mean you lose the right to vote. All a foreclosure filing tells anyone is that the owners are behind on their mortgage; it does not mean a voter has necessarily moved. Foreclosures take time. And even if the plan is to only challenge voters whose homes have actually been sold at auction, the challengers will still achieve nothing but to slow-down voting and create an intimidating atmosphere at strategically chosen polls.

Michigan law says that challenges may be made at the polls if the challenger "knows or has good reason to suspect" a voter is ineligible. The Michigan Secretary of State has clarified this to require that challenges should be based on "reliable sources or means." Republican challengers with only a list of foreclosure notices will have NO evidence or reliable source to suggest that eligible voters have moved and are no longer eligible to vote.

This is just the latest -- and most transparent -- in a long history of racially and politically motivated GOP attacks against Michigan voters, designed to suppress votes by disenfranchising individual voters and creating confusion and delays at the polls. In 1999, right-wing volunteers in Hamtramck, Michigan systematically challenged the citizenship of voters with dark skin and Arabic-sounding names. In 2004 and 2006, Republicans reportedly recruited thousands of paid challengers to disrupt predominantly African-American precincts.

"If we do not suppress the Detroit vote," a GOP state representative was quoted as saying in 2004, "we're going to have a tough time in this election cycle."

As the Messenger reports, Macomb Count y is in the top three-percent of counties in the U.S. hit hardest by the foreclosure crisis -- and African-Americans, as the primary victims of sub-prime lending practices, make up the majority of these cases. African-Americans also tend to vote democratic, which is why it's not surprising that the GOP would target these voters for suppression.

Regardless of politics, no one faced with the possibility of losing their home should also have to lose their vote. Project Vote is writing to ask Michigan Secretary of State, Republican Terri Lynn Land, to instruct election officials that someone's presence on a list of foreclosure notices is not a legitimate basis for challenging that individual's right to vote. Project Vote will also send letters to both major parties, reviewing the acceptable criteria for voter challenges under Michigan law, and if necessary will file lawsuits on behalf of disenfranchised voters.

In America you get to vote even if you're behind on your bills. All Americans -- particularly those members of the community hit hardest by the economic crisis -- deserve a voice and a vote on Election Day.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Things Heard While On A Rant

And we got nothing to be guilty of
Our love will climb any mountain...

I want to go outside, in the rain
It may sound crazy
But I wanna go outside, in the rain...

Living just enough
just enough for the city...

I'm never gonna dance again
Guilty feet have got no rhythm...

I'm sippin' on Tanqueray with my mind on my money and my mouth on the ganjay
R A G to the muthafuckin' E
Back wit my nigga S N double O P
Yeah! And you don't stop...

Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit.
He took the midnight train going anywhere...

That's what you are
Though near or far...

I got a penthouse in Manhattan
Two more in Malibu
I got an '87 Cadillac Seville
I got a Maserati too...

Would you mind
If I touched, if I kissed, if I held you tight
In the morning light, yeah...

As around the sun the earth knows she's revolving
And the rosebuds know to bloom in early May
Just as hate knows love's the cure
You can rest your mind assured
That I'll be loving you always...

I hope you
That you've been checkin' me
I know what you're talkin' bout
You got me trippin' on my own feet...

All alone on a Sunday morning
Outside I see the rain is falling, whoa
Inside I'm slowly dying
But the rain won't hide my crying, crying, crying...

Troubles With King Syndrome

Yesterday's post was put out late last night. And you may have noticed it didn't have a title. Today a post with a title OOPS!!! NOW it has a title...

I figured out why it took me so long to do it. And why it was essentially a lazy blog that was typed.

Why do you ask? Oh several negative emotions regarding the folk I live with.

These derive from something I call King Syndrome. King Syndrome is where a man escapes the confines of life as is has come to be and falls into a world where he feels things as are they SHOULD BE. I spent the weekend out with The Wife. I tend to do this at least a couple of times a month. This happens for a few reasons.

  1. I need time away from these damn inmates! Prison, asylum, call it what you want. But that is what they be!
  2. To see how well cared for mom will be in my absence. I can't be here all the damn time and those other people she is supporting need to step up and earn their comforts without my interference (being their safety net).
  3. With my wife is WHERE I BELONG!
  4. Some exit strategies need to be phased in slowly instead of being forced on the populace at large unexpectedly.
  5. There is a great deal of leechism going on here and I am tired of being one of them. My living expenses are being provided for me by not me. So I make the best of it by making sure the person who is taking care of me is as well taken care of as I can manage.
I could go on but I think you are getting the point. Needless to say, that wen I am gone, I start to feeling like a king again! But then I return and find myself amidst a black hole of motivationlessness. Never thought I would look forward to getting out to class like I do. I am starting to regret taking that web class. I could be staring at the young and inappropriately dressed instead of staying stuck in the house. But I know why I did that one. 10% laziness and 90% not leaving her to them for that many days in a week. Although I am gonna have to get over that...

The problem with King Syndrome is that good times come to a rapid end. And I return to... this place... It ain't home...

But on my return I notice several things almost immediately that are not right. This destroys the afterglow naturally. Good emotions are replaced with bad. I find myself pissed off because nobody really bothers to clean up after the dog. This means noboby bothered to take him outside so he WOULDN'T need to be cleaned up after. I mean hell I hate doing it sometimes but it is like a preemptive strike. I would rather be cold and sleepily walking like a drunk than smell a wood floor that has been pissed on. And I find that things are out of place or plain missing. Man, I feel my blood pressure spiking right now. If suddenly start talking crazy or you see the same character repeat itself a bunch of times, it is because you witnessed a stroke at the keyboard. Just thinking about that backwards ass shit is pissing me off.

IDK. Maybe it is just me and I am a closet control freak and need to get my shit together and... Okay fuck that. I ain't the one fucked up. The more order I try to establish in this joint the more chaos ensues. It ain't me. Anybody who knows me knows two things about me (that apply to this situation...) 1) I am live and let live. If you ain't messing up my groove, I ain't gonna be in yours. 2) EVERYTHING has a place. I am no neat freak, in fact I am somewhat packratish. But I think that for things to exist in my space they have to have a purpose and a place. So living with folk who don't understand that keeping their shit to themselves keeps me outta that shit and we all are happy is a problem. And in addition those same people not understanding that utility of things (and people) having a purpose AND a place bother me to no end. Hell I can't even get my damn mail without going on a damn scavenger hunt. I done found mail with my name on it in every room in the joint. Strangely enough it never ends up in the ONE place I am guaranteed to see it, the chair I am sitting in now.

And don't let me turn my back too long. The stuff that is used to provide comfort and support for the person who is taking care of this House of Leeches will walk the hell off. Mom is the only person who can't bathe herself (unless Lil B. is in the house), so there are wash basins here for that purpose. Why did I spend a half-hour last night looking for one while constantly bitching about the FOUR of them missing when I was trying to get her cleaned up? And she needed a shirt change once I managed to get her clean. Why could I not find one of the FIVE shirts I got for her LAST MONTH when her clothes were washed and returned earlier in the day?

Anyway. I am getting tired of bitching today. And since you have spent all this time reading all of this, I give you The Money Shot!

I am really hating this place and these folk. So if I tell you I am coming to a town near you sometime next summer, know two things.
  1. We gots to hang! Eat, drunk and get merry and all that shit.
  2. You got homework. Because I will likely be in the area because of an opportunity, so I am gonna know where the GOOD spots to live in your town are.
  3. If it is biker dude calling, I may be coming to steal a corner in some unused room, if you got one (yeah I know I said two...)
Much love!

Monday, September 15, 2008

You know. I ain't got jack shit today. Mostly because I don't feel like thinking. Or emoting out loud. Or... Hell I don't even feel like explaining.

I will give this another try tomorrow.

By the time you read this, I might actually have a real post up.

I ain't promising nothing though. I might feel the same tomorrow.

Dap to the fellas. Booty grabs to the ladies.

That is all...


Friday, September 12, 2008

A Very Interesting Product

You know. I think I might have to get me one of these...

If you feel the need to wonder why, either you don't know me or YOU need therapy!

What is it you ask? Well the answer is right here!

Campus Sightings

I done seen some things on campus these last couple of weeks.

At this point in my life, things are pretty hard to come by that produce shock and awe. So of course me starting back to school exposes me to a lot of things that I might not necessarily see in my otherwise everyday travels.

I preface this by saying that the last time I was in class was almost 15 years ago. Children who were starting kindergarten are now classmates! Y2K was still more than half a decade away. Gangsta rap was hip hop. Fashions that were in then are on the verge of coming back. Long story short, things done changed a bunch!

Things that I found strange, shocking or noteworthy as spied by my naked eyes:

There was this dude I saw the other day who was probably the craziest looking thing I thought I would ever see. He was a white guy of average height. He was as skinny as a rail. He had a beard so full that it made Grizzly Adams look somewhat well shaven. But MOST noticeably he had the skinniest pair of blue jeans that I have ever seen on anyone sporting a package. How skinny you ask? Well, my older folk will probably remember the days when the ladies would buy a pair of jeans and then take them home and sew the seams so that they would fit close all the way down to the ankle. Well his were almost that skinny! And I mean high school skinny if you ain't catching on. Size zero skinny. I almost stared... hard...
Imagine the dude above with a hair game like the one below. But with black hair!

Y'all understand why I was tempted to stare?

I know fashions and modesty have changed. I see the kids running around nekkid here and there. But until I was nearly overwhelmed visually, I didn't realize how things changed. First is the shamelessness. Hooker brands galore. Thongs on display. Donkey asses with low rise jeans where you could swear you see the ass crack. Thick hips. Thick thighs. Milk maids. Tight shirts over round bellies. REALLY tight shirts where you can see the outline of the belly button crater. And enough cleavage to fill two years of Cosmo issues. I may be seeing the world through Dirty Old Man Eyes now. Whatever it is, I think I am gonna enjoy being on campus! Especially in the spring when they clothes come back off after the winter! I am almost sorry I am taking the online section of Astronomy!!!!

Can y'all imagine this chick with jeans that give her plumber's crack?

EDIT: For Realhustla... The two ladies in the above picture are Milk Maids. This is the basic configuration with the boob size, cleavage revealed and lack of shirt near the neck line in these approximate ratios. In other words, they make me want milk.... from the source... (actually these ladies are a bit smaller than what I been enjoying...)

Now I saw this kid, who seemed to be about 20 or so. I could be wrong but I think he is goth. He had on a black t-shirt and a black jacket.
He also was sporting some pants similar to these:

And he had some shit similar to this on his arms:

I was tempted to ask him what the deal was with the outfit. But I didn't want him to jump 60 feet up in the air and land on me with a 15 hit combo!

And I saw an old dude who was trying to relive old glory by riding his bike to class like many others... Oh. Wait... That was me... Boy did my ass hurt after that one! The ride was just fine but getting used to a bike seat again ain't the thing to do!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

A Day Of Remembrance

Today is the seventh anniversary of the worst terrorist attack committed on American soil. That is if you don't count the wars of previous centuries or various government policies...

The world has been an eventful place these last seven years. Because of this, that tragedy has become a thing that is fading from the minds of many who were not directly affected. You all have been living it as I have, so I need not get into the details.

But on that day, almost 3000 families lost loved ones. Why isn't really important today. That debate has gone on for a while now.

Since that day another 4100 or so families have lost loved ones in response to the attacks on that day. At least that is the chain of events we are being fed...

A cataclysmic event happened in 2005 which devastated a city and it's surrounding areas. Over 1800 died. Over 700 missing. Thousands and thousands of people displaced.

A day of elation and heartbreak in February of 1994.

The coldest day of my life happened in October of 1987.

I could go on. But I think you get the point.

Today is one of those days that should be set aside for remembering. Each of the above individual days is one that changed my life. Each event taught me something. Each event ended something that I did not want to end. Each event reminds me to remember the people and not the events. We have history books and documents for the events.

The other 4100 people also bear a lesson. But today is not for debating or teaching. Today is for remembering. And I shall remember again so the memories won't fade.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

The Rapper In Me

You know about umpteen years ago. Me and my cousin Profit J. were talking about music. Eventually the conversation turned to the kinds of dudes putting out records at the time. Hammer and Vanilla Ice were big then.

So and idea formed... Obviously talent was no longer needed to secure a contract! So me and he were thinking about forming a rap group!

Were were gonna call ourselves No Talent Individuals! The first single was gonna be entitled In It For The Money. On the album Mo Money To Get The Hunnies! He was gonna be Profit Jay. I was gonna be Unpoetic Lou. Our main hook was to sample Elvis songs. We were gonna be the crossover kings. We would have made a mint!

Ah the days...

Should have did that shit though!!!

Thursday, September 04, 2008

School Madness: Tha Audio Update

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Sunday, August 31, 2008

Older Old Skool Joint

I guess it is kinda hard to look REALLY masculine singing that damn high...

Really though. With the state of music these days, he could stand to make a come back.

New Old Skool Joint

What ever happened to...?

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Tha Weekend...

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Friday, August 29, 2008

School Madness: Tha Update

I went in for another round of advising because I was positively in a twist last night.

I get there after several misstarts getting out of the door. And it is a rainy kinda day so I ain't feeling that wonderful. After one tardy bus and one crowded bus I make my sweaty way into the office. I sign in and wait for about 10 minutes. While I am there I see this Indian/Pakistani guy sitting with a small baby. A couple of minutes later I see this thin and fine thing walk out and ask him "Is the baby OK?". At which point I nearly fall the hell outta my chair because this woman had to be either a size 0 or a -2. She must have looked like she was smuggling soccer balls when the kid was inside... But I digress...

Because a couple of minutes later I see some fine chocolate walked up in the office and go to the sign in sheet. I thought she was another student until she called my name. So I followed her (with a slight grin) right past my own advisor and to her office. So already my day is better. I tell her about the registration process nearly making me lose my religion last night. So we dig into the transcript and did a quick audit of the classes.

One of the classes I don't have to take because it isn't offered any more. Cool! Three fewer credits and nearly a grand saved! Another I had passed and as long as I bring a B in another course, it should even out if it isn't already. The class I was registered for I did indeed pass previously, so one more off the list of those needed...
My Physics course grade never got submitted for whatever reason so... I am taking Chemistry! It was a Physics course for Physics majors, so the professor told me at the time, an it was mind bending! Fuck that! Not doing that again! Then again... Scratch that! They would require me to be on campus three days for an hour and TOO early for me to take Chemistry! I am taking Astronomy!!! And it is a web class!!!
I figured out which computer course I actually needed last night. I just needed to see how many credits I had to take to get there. So the 2 credit class is registered for...
And my Systems Analysis class is registered for because I stunk that one up bad before!
The capstone course for the Business school, Business Policy, needs advisor approval and it wasn't open at the time. But they may make you manually register for that one... The Software Tools for Business Applications and Information Systems Policy and Management classes are only Winter term classes.

So that leaves four business courses, one computer science course and one natural science course and I am DONE! Three and Three (barring surprises) and I am out!

School Madness

I must be getting old. And I am not so eager to start classes suddenly. I say these things because I am still not really registered for classes. I spent like four hours yesterday playing around with things. I was trying to find the non-existent class my advisor gave me. I then realized that she told me to take a different class that I already passed. I was attempting to reconcile the needed classes from the bulletin with the missing classes on my transcript. I came to the realization that half of the damn classes I need are either offered NEXT term or currently closed. ALL of my damn classes will be at night since the one I already took was the lone daytime class. These night classes are gonna cause a serious problem for me since carrying firearms in dorms and classrooms is illegal in Michigan. But riding busses at night in my neighborhood unarmed is not really all that smart. And no car... OH yeah. I almost forgot, there are two classes on my transcript I need to readdress but one doesn't seem to exist anymore and the requirements seem to be changed regarding the other...

Forgive me if you pass by me today and I seem to look confused.

Anyway, lemme shut the hell up and get my ass to her office so we can get this shit cleared up. Cause I REALLY don't wanna deal with Late Registration.

Damn! And it is raining...

At least my financial aid papers are filled out and submitted. I sure hope they don't give me these kinda problems...

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Thursday Thirteen: Favorite TV Characters

Here are a few of my favorite characters as seen on TV.

The originators of this series can be found HERE

Jack Bauer: This guy defines American Hero and Do WHATEVER it takes. I don't know about y'all but if there is some terrorist madness going on, I want him on the job. He always gets his man and even has been known to make collateral damage of friends and allies, all in the name of saving the day!

Jonas Blaine: Soldier of soldiers. Special ops operator. My TV sleeps well at night knowing that this bad ass and his band of merry killers are putting it down for the old Stars and Stripes. Definitely not a guy to mess with. Especially if you are a terrorist stupid enough to "take revenge" at their own home base.

"Big Ed" Deline: Former president and chief of operations of the former Montecito Hotel and Casino on the former show known as Las Vegas. This guy is a throw back to the olden days when Vegas was a mob resort in the desert. Out smarted crooks on the regular and ran the show with ease. Intensely loyal to his peeps, to the point of offing one of their abusive parents.

Captain James T. Kirk: The very definition of never give up. This guy was dead determined not to fail, lose his ship, lose his friends, or miss a chance at a hot babe! A legendary fighter, joke cracker, ladies man, and over emoter! But he definitely had swagger and defined what a REAL starship captain was made of...

Fox Mulder: A man who lived his life in the margin of the strange. Extraterrestrial, paranormal, unexplainable or just plain weird. If it was out there then he was all over it. He tended to get himself in a bit of trouble because of it. But always came out (mostly) no worse for wear because of it. And often got answers.

Dana Scully: What do you get when you mix the initials M.D. and FBI? You get the red headed hottie above of course. Always the scientist, she almost never believed her partner when he explained the strange. Forever ready with a scientific explanation to counter his voodoo. Of course I never really minded that she was wrong most of the time. Cause smart chicks are hott!!!

Horatio Caine: Cool as a redheaded cucumber. This dude is half geek and half action hero. He runs a team of scientists and has been known to bust a gat with the quickness when needed. Okay he busts the gat often because some dudes ain't learned to listen when the dude goes positively Batmanlike.

Gil Grissom: Smart dudes rule! And this is one smart dude. An investigative scientist with an unnatural fascination with bugs. While other dudes solve things by acting, this dude actually thinks his way into the solution!

Uncle Bernie: Say what you want to about the Cosby Show, but this is my favorite TV dad! He had them kids straight up on lock! To me this is the typical dad. All the good things that folk expect in a father. Yet he didn't mind bringing the pain when they stepped outta line. You gotta have balance... And you know he done hit them kids in the stomach or the throat or busted their heads until the white meat showed!

Huey Freeman: The ever thoughtul and ever frustrated suburban revolutionary. Remarkably deep for a 10 year old. Dude is quick to wonder about the absurdities of life as we tend to live it. And is a Kung-Fu master!

Riley Freeman: Aka Riley Escobar, ake H.R. Paperstacks, aka Horse Choker, aka Pillsbury Doughboy, aka Louis Rich, aka Young Reezy, aka... You get the idea. Dude definitely caught up in the lifestyle of the Hip Hop generation. Most likely to live ghetto fabulous and most likely to hatch some crazy ass get rich scheme.

Admiral William Adama: Captain of the Battlestar Galactica. that alone should be reason enough to be in this list. But he also is basically the savior of humanity. He is the man in charge of the only viable military ship left to humanity after the destruction of 12 worlds. He gathered up the 50,000 or so remaining souls and their rides and protected them and steered them to the guestination of Earth. Even if half of them didn't deserve it...

Adrian Monk: Obsessive and compulsive. This man belongs in an insane asylum. He is an extreme germophobe and king of neat freaks. But he just happens to be the best detective in San Francisco, possibly the world. Between bouts of being a barely societally functional head case, he manages to crack even the most impossible cases by remembering even the most minute details of things that he has seen.