Monday, March 31, 2008

The Soundtrack: The Second Pass

Baby Got Back - Sir Mix A Lot - I like big butts and I can not lie!

Faithfully - Journey - The main reason for my first purchase of a prerecorded cassette tape.

G Funk Intro - Snoop Doggy Dogg and The Lady of Rage - Freaknic '94, road trip, new ride, solo trip. The first cut off the album I played the most on the road.

Aquaboogie - Parliament - It is impossible to be from Detroit and begin to call yourself old school unless there is something from George Clinton and his crazy crew in ya faves. Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop!

Computer Blue - Prince - Still one of my favorite reasons to learn to play the guitar. I may still get around to it...

The Throne Room/End Title - John Williams and the London Symphony Orchestra - This was one of the cuts that really gave me an appreciation of symphonic and classical music. Sure there were all those tunes that we learned about from Bugs Bunny and Woody Woodpecker. But this was when it REALLY started for me. Star Wars!!!!!

Danger Zone - Kenny Loggins - Every favorite movie has a memorable theme song.

The One - Prince - Because I am.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

I Be Scandalized!!!!!

I ran across this... This... I don't know what to call this. But I ran into it adding to my soundtrack. An (extremely) alternate version of one of my favorites!

Not for the easily offended!

Sunday, March 23, 2008

An Almost Bad Day

It started off innocently enough. A decent spring day in the old hometown. I was preparing to go and see my girlfriend. She had moved to another city to work after college. I was still doing my student-as-you-can-afford-it thing. You know when you got money, you go. When you don't you work instead. It had been a few months since I had seen her so I was pretty much thrilled about having awakened that day. Even though the train ride was gonna take about half a day, I was still hyped about the trip. I got to get the hell outta town. See places I don't get to see. Be somewhere I don't live. Winter was over and the snow was melting (when isn't that a good thing?), the earth getting warmer and such.

I was getting all my ducks in a row that day. Dropped mom off at work (downtown parking is an expensive mess!) Was packed and picking up the last things before the trip. I decided to stop by a cousin's place who lived in the area. So I found a spot to park and walked up them four double flights of stairs (high ceilings ya know...) to her apartment. We chilled and chatted for about an hour. I then started hearing my empty stomach complain about my mistreatment of it. So I asked cuz if she wanted anything while I was out. Got the order and off I went.

Cuz lived in Cass Corridor. For those not from Tha D, it is a place where you found one of the nicest theaters in the city, a high school where some of the best and brightest of Detroit attended, an elementary school with TRUE international flavor, a homeless shelter or two several bars, a few "short stay" hotels and motels, the projects and at least one cat house. Needless to say, it was a very interesting neighborhood. Since then a casino grew up and the area got cleaned up some and new housing happened. But back in the day, every day was an adventure.

So I jumped in the car and plotted my path to the nearest McFood. Drive straight three blocks to the main drag, bust a left, right on the next big street, cross the freeway and food! Simple right? But did I mention I was in the Cass Corridor at around 10 in the a.m.? I didn't manage to get the three blocks much less busting the left before "it" happened.

I get two blocks and am at a stop sign. I see this girl in a short skirt carrying a back pack. So I immediately think of a cheerleader. Remember high school close by, 10 a.m. and it wasn't the weekend. So I didn't think her being there too unusual for a split second. So I turn my head to check for the traffic that this sign had me stopping for. I see a car or two coming by so while I am waiting my mind starts to ponder the cheerleader. Why do you ask? She wasn't AT the school. The bus lines rode the two adjacent streets. She was walking north and for her to catch a freight she needed to be going either east or west. It was winter break for DPS students. She wasn't in a Pickle Factory cheerleader uniform. So she seemed a little outta place.

My eyes turned back in her direction to make sure no last minute traffic from that direction was coming. And I notice her paying me a little more attention than I thought I rated. This makes me curious and her seeming out of place made me pause a second. Thought she might be in trouble or lost or something. She then starts heading toward me with definite intent. So I am thinking "O.K. damsel in distress time." So I move my hand to the switch to roll down the window so I can listen to the story she is about to lay on me. Before I could roll the window down things got real surreal on me.

Homegirl almost messed up my day! Cause she flashed this little mischievous smile at me and did one of them little shy wave things. And with her other hand pulled up the front of her little cheerleader skirt. Which apparently was the only thing she had on between her waist and her ankles!

Time stopped for me. Either that or I forgot to keep track of the time because I was staring. BUT I do remember that she was light brown like a Nestle's caramel. Her thighs swelled just so right in the middle. You know the kind that taper at the top and the bottom? Yeah them... And her Gateway to Heaven had a neatly trimmed Bermuda Triangle patch that seemed to make me wanna vanish into it. I remember it like it was yesterday. Okay that image is forever burned into my mind and I can't (wouldn't dream of trying to) shake it if I could.

Now I know you are asking how that could possibly ruin a day? Well, let's recap. On my way outta town so money is in pocket. Haven't seen girlfriend in months. I really liked what I saw (a very effective marketing plan she had...) AND I come from a long line of horndogs who take the "be fruitful and multiply" thing as a challenge. Oh yeah, and one of them "short stay" hotels was in spitting distance. Anybody else see the train wreck that was headed my way?

I can only imagine what my face looked like when she did it. I am sure my eyes bugged out and my mouth fell open. Whether it was from shock or desire I am still not clear on. Probably both cause she was rather hot for a "16 year old". But time managed to start back up again and my thought process started moving. More importantly the sudden tightness of my underwear was warning me of the impending train wreck that was STILL walking in my direction! And that thing under her skirt was talking to me like the Borg Queen or something! "I am The Coochie! Lower your resistances and surrender to your desires. I will add your physical and genetic distinctiveness to my own! You will service me! Resistance is futile!"

I had to think fast to avoid falling into that wondrous dark hole. And I couldn't think of shyt to say because she managed to push the right button without saying one damn word. I also knew that I had no desire to talk her out of whatever she wanted to do to me. So talking was out. I could only act to save myself and time was fast running out! So I took action. Lift right foot. Adjust right foot to starboard. Reengage right foot post haste!

Yeah, that's right! I stabbed the hell up outta there! I ain't no fool! And the rumors are true. You heard it but didn't believe it. Yeah, I know, a black man running from pussy. Strange but true! But a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Or choosing your old bush with the many hookups is better than one time new bush. Or something like that.

Of course that encounter left me with an erection that stubbornly did not go away for about an hour. But hey, the big head wins sometimes too. I guess that the little head was protesting and thought to make me suffer for a while. But you know what was on my mind for the next 18 hours don't ya? Of course my girlfriend had to "suffer" for what the girl in the skirt did. I don't recall her complaining much though...

Friday, March 14, 2008

Cleaning Up The Drafts

I don't really have much today. At least not yet. So I decided to clean up my draft posts and put the stuff out here. I seem to be approaching post 200! And since them drafts count in the post total, I thought I should clean things up so that the count is correct when it comes! So here are a few things I found entertaining enough to think about making into posts. Enjoy if you got a minute.

I am taking suggestions on the content of # 200 by the way. So get ya thinking caps on.

This right here is some real Dumbshit! All the promise of a wonderful "career" and they get that Ghetto Millionaire Mentality?!?!? (yes there is sarcasm in there...)

What The Fuck is up with this statistic? I mean is there a real reason why folk are wondering why things don't get better in some regards?

Rashan Jamal's stalker! And his stalker's stalker!

Deepnthought's Gangsta Grannies do their thang up in here

YouToldHarpoTaBeatMe's Mini Pimpin and mean muggin'!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Good Shyt!

You know, I woke up this morning feeling rather good.

Right spry and quite healthy and all. I mean I felt no traces of cold or flu trying to get ahold of me. Didn't have a headache or any other type of body ache. My mood was quite cool in fact. Feeling neither manic or depressed. No breathing problems. No convulsions or seizures. Heart is strong. Man! I feel good!

That water is some good shyt! And it has been ice cold outta the tap too! Wonder if there is anything to the reports from the Associated Press?

Monday, March 10, 2008

It's The Holidaze!!!!!!

The one on the left pretty much says it for me. In many, many ways...
The one on the right is for the once little person who was predicted on my birthday. I know she hates pink, but what the hey! If I gotta suffer, so do she! Besides it IS my birthday so she can be a little girly today! She lucky I don't have a dress for her to wear...

Thursday, March 06, 2008

10 Questions From Blogger

Okay. I didn't have shyt of my own today. So I decided to let Blogger ask 10 random questions. And trust me these are some random ass questions. And the random answers that they inspired!

For your birthday, your aunt gave you a maple syrup dispenser shaped like a rooster. Please write her a thank-you note:

Hey Auntie!!! Thanks for the sticky cock!!!! LMAO!!!!

What did you dream when you ate a spider while sleeping?

Likely about a 20 ounce Porterhouse cooked medium well with sauteed onions and mushrooms, a loaded baked potato with sour cream and bacon and such, broccoli on the side, hot buttery rolls and a good stiff Margarita. Oh yeah, give me a Diet Coke with that please!

You're wearing a sweater that stretches down to your feet. What color belt do you put on?

Um... belt? What you should be asking is am I gonna put on some draws before I leave the house in it!

Your pajamas have duckies on them. Why did you switch from choo-choos?

Because the choo-choos were standing up in the corner , so it was time...

What spells can you cast with magic markers?

You write magic runes with them of course? What idiot came up with this one? What next, what color is red?

If you drive on a parkway why don't they make the whole plane out of that?

Dude! What the fuck were you on when you asked that one? And why the hell didn't I get some?

If you could peer far enough into the night sky, you'd see a star in any direction you looked. When would you sleep?

Um... I can peer far enough. So of course I sleep when ever I am sleepy. Was this one done by the same fact checker who couldn't spell Detroit yet works for a Detroit newspaper? Proofreading IS fundamental!

What's the most amount of sand you've ever had in your swimming trunks?

What? Sand? I thought that said HANDS! This question is suddenly is a lot less interesting...

Your superpower is that you smell like dandelions whenever someone lies. How will you maintain your secret identity?

I wouldn't exactly call that power "super". So I doubt I would be worried about creating a secret identity for that. Besides, what would I call myself, Front-Street Man? Mr. You Cold Busted? Dr. No Fake?

If your whole body were a hot air balloon, would you stop eating spicy food?

Hell no! Besides there are some in my family that would argue that it already IS a hot air balloon. It ain't my fault! The milk is mean to me!

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

The Slughurlers Revisited!

Here is the transfer of a series of my favorite posts from The Truth Is Lamer Than Fiction.

Recently my alignment change has brought about a change in attitude, naturally. With that comes the desire for additional personal and family security. Add that to the fact that I like target shooting, Michigan is a shall issue state and octogenarians aren't even safe anymore. I have decided to get my CCW. The stars of this post are the first round of finalists.

What do you think of them.

Anyone got any advice or recommendations? Aside from telling me not to that is. That would be bad advice...

This is the Sig Sauer P250. I think my prayers have been answered. The whole trouble with deciding on such a thing is finding the right grip and deciding on what caliber is best for your needs. I need be indecisive no more. This baby has a modular construction. So according to the site, you can change the grips by swapping the polymer frame. Of course this is just the minor added benefit. Since you usually get the grip that fits best on initial purchase. But more important is that you can change the caliber on this baby by swapping out the barrel and clip. I don't think ya heard me. You can have this baby in 9mm, .357SIG, .40S&W and .45ACP without having to buy four guns! This is something indeed...

This little gem is the FN Five-Seven. 20 round capacity. Low recoil. Really really nice.

I believe this one is named Stella by my blogger gun buddy J. A Glock 27 in .40 S&W Subcompact.

This is second in the capacity championship. This is the Glock 17. 9mm with a 17 shot magazine capacity.Springfield XD 45 ACP Compact 4" Polymer (convertible from concealed carry to full size service pistol with 3 extra rounds by switching magazines)
Taurus Millennium Pro PT-145 in .40 S&W
Taurus Millennium Pro PT-145 in .45 ACP
Springfield Armory XD Sub Compact in .40 S&W
Magnum Research Baby Eagle Compact in .40 S&W
Glock 29 in 10 mm
Glock 30 in .45 ACP (larger mag)
Glock 36 in .45 ACP (smaller mag)
Springfield Armory 1911-A1 Ultra Compact in .45 ACP (like the black grips...)
This is the Springfield Armory XD Compact 9mm. Fits real nice in my paws. Hides real nice. Really pleasing character. One sweet shooting gun this is!

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Heaven and Hell

Well mine anyway. Today was a most unusual day for me. I had not one, but two phone interviews for positions. Usually I only have that many good contacts a year the way things have been going. I hope I haven't hit my quota this year.

The first was a position out of state. Something that sounds fairly permanent. Something that would take me several hundred miles away from here. I got the phone call as expected and had a rather good conversation. The recruiter seemed satisfied that I was possibly a good candidate and I got a warm and fuzzy about the position and the situation. The only problem was that they were a little behind schedule and it would take a few weeks for them to get their ducks in a row.

The second was a position somewhat local but about a 60 - 90 minute commute. This one was through a contract house with a local automotive company. This one did not go at all well. I have never been the teacher type. So describing the nuts and bolts of what I do was never something I did good when it was current. But now I seem to have a case of oldtimers. I knew the concepts she was asking about. I have used and done them many times. I could even picture them in my mind. (yes I do think in pictures a lot). But somehow them pictures didn't translate themselves into me sounding like I knew that stuff. Ah well.

I don't know. Maybe that was a sign. My mind and other forces and entities over my shoulders telling me that it is time for me to get a move on. Well, that was my encounter with heaven and hell today. How was your day?

Monday, March 03, 2008

The Dream House

Sigh... I wish I had won that fintillion dollars last week like that Georgia couple did. The possibility got me to thinking about what my NEW house would look like afterwards. Of course I already have an idea and had shared it previously on "The Truth...". So... I goes a little something like this...

What would you do if you won the lottery and ended up with like a kajillion dollars? mine would go something like this...

The Artist's rendering...

The First Floor...

The Second Floor...

The Upper Bay/Attic...

The Tower Levels...
Floors 3,4,5 & 6

This wonderful thing was found on The plan number is chp-15546