Randomness Returned

Sometimes I just can't turn off.  Oftentimes it feels like I am on a ride, completely out of control.  Sometimes like that stunt that killed Indian Larry.  Just surfing the seat of a moving motorcycle.  Nobody steering.  Not sure if or when it will lose balance and fall the hell over.  Yet sometimes thrilling.

Then there are times like now when I am completely bored with everything.  Not that anything is wrong.  Just...ugh!  I am finding that the things that have been occupying my time are not that occupying anymore.  I am starting to think of the opportunity costs of the time spent.  Like time not spent here. 

I sometimes wonder if letting myself get away from here changed something.  I mean at this point I am down from one post a month to one this year.  Okay two this year.  The decision to not BWM here anymore also kept me from wanting to share anything.  I guess that could change.  Also reading the stuff I wrote gave a third person perspective that I seem to be missing. 

And I realize that, even as I write this, that I have way more to say than I can express.  My organizational skill with the words is a little dusty and a bit overwhelmed.  I am spending more time thinking than writing.

Maybe I will try to rediscover the dude that put the other 400 odd posts out here.  Take my laptop out on the porch and let the scene inspire me to see things as only I can.  Or I can just talk about people...

Can't wait to read this to see what I think about it.  After I tell myself "That is so random..."

Anyhow, I am up much too late!  Guess I better Hulu myself to sleep like I was going to before I started typing...

Summer Madness

I love the summer. Yesterday I realized that the days are only gonna get shorter until the first day of Winter. That depressed me slightly because it means... well the hell with what it means. I don't wanna depress myself anymore. But I am sure you all can figure it out yourself.

But I do love the summer. Sure, it gets hot as hell. But I don't have to move snow. Or freeze. And it is generally easier to stay cool than it is to stay warm.

More importantly I can ride my bike in the summer. Just me and my machine. It's performance is fixed, mine varies. Which is to say that I am what determines how well we work as a unit. I like that. Glory, mediocrity, disappointment, they are all up to me. Which way the adventure lies. How far it goes. How long it takes. Me, Me, ME! For a lot longer than I sometimes care to admit, it is my happy place. Adventure and solitude in one package. Some days it is the only freedom I have left. I could go on for a while, but I won't.

Why? Because if you are familiar with the bicycle concept you know the truth in the next statement. I shall free my mind and my ass will follow. Quite literally and somewhat figuratively.

More plainly, I am telling you that I am getting my ass the hell up out of this chair and putting it on my saddle. Right now I could use some freedom. I spend all kinds of time in this chair that winter traps me into. No use in staying locked up on purpose when there is a better choice.

Catch ya on the flip...

It Occurs To Me...

...that Grouchy Smurf had the right idea.

...that I am not always the nicest person.

...that I am just fine with the above a lot of days.

...that because of the above, the one two above exists.

...that I am losing my voice, and that is why I don't exercise it here much any more.

...that my desire for change is getting so strong that it is somehow interfering with that change.

...that depression is a very powerful force.

...that people generally just don't give a shit until they have to deal with something on some level.

...that we need two or three more good political parties, because the Democrats AND the Republicans need to be the minority part at the same time. Maybe then they will help each other pull their heads out of their asses.

...that during the summer that I am rediscovering the joys of cycling, a legend is likely summing up his career by becoming a sidekick to his sidekick, all because of a crash. Lance, this beer is for you! And here's hoping that Levi can make up those two minutes and small change before Bastille Day!

...that no one really cares what goes on here anymore.

...that the above is likely true because I don't seem to care.

...that the above is NOT true because time, access and guilt keep me away.

...that one can indeed type quite accurately and complete a thought while reading the insides of your eyelids.

...that the guilt is creeping back. Guess I better get back to what I am supposed to be doing.

...that it ain't gonna happen tonight because I keep nodding off and trying to fall the hell out of this chair!

...that there was a bunch of other stuff that I was gonna say but the bed is drowning out my voice with it's call.

...that I still got love for ya, and I am sending it out to you now!

Good night and have an interesting series of tomrorrows...

Post 399

Wow. Can't believe I actually arrived here. The post before my fourth Post X00. Brings me to a little reflection. Having... no, PUBLISHING 400 separate streams of thought was not necessarily in the plan when I started. A few false starts. A couple of notable “breaks” and here I am. To be honest though, I thought that post would have been done and gone over a year ago. What can I say? Shit happens, usually to you. But I find that I need this little activity in my life. Even when I ain't got a damn thing to say.

Um... Yeah. This is one of those times. You know like when you pick up the phone and call someone and say I just called to talk and breathe into the phone most of the time. Hey it is a slow news day. My playoff beard was saved from an early shaving last night by the score of 7-1. And Tigers games on the radio will never ever be the same again.

BUT! I did notice one thing. I have been a little bit lazy about closing the blinds at night. So when I sit here There is a blackness backing my monitor that is occasionally interrupted by some other lighting source. It helps me concentrate. Gets me thinking. Which has gotten me writing again. And it never hurts when the lady in the house behind mine shows up in the kitchen at night in her “lady beaters”. Still ain't sure what her ethnicity is, but I know what I like.

And today I feel kinda good. A couple of half and unexpected surprises have allowed us to take a step forward. And it wasn't even anything that important. But still, forward. That was enough to lift my spirits above the cold, rainy, tornado watch weather in Southeastern Michigan on May 7, 2010.

Well, I guess I better stop here and think about the next post. Right now, I have absolutely no idea of the subject, theme, look, feel or any damn thing else that might make it up. But I gotta come up with something special. My 3.5 fans are important you know!!!

More Stuff

Here I am again, looking back at another distant last post. And I can't for the life of me tell you why that is. I am spending more of my online time on Facebook than I used to. But that is not really an excuse. Myspace gaming took up way more time before I stopped. And now that my "Add My Family" campaign on FB is dying down, I am spending less time there too. And I didn't know there were so many of my relatives on FB. And I still ain't got them all added! But I digress.

Maybe my happiness factor has increased and hence my inspiration to sound off has decreased. But I don't read as much either. I would feel somewhat out of contact but most of you are on FB and are nearly as guilty as me at not being in Blogville.

I think it could be that I don't have enough good news. Or enough bad news. Or neutral news... I mean I could go on at length about my Niggatastical neighbors. But why? Although they are a bit more ghetto than the neighbors I had in the hood. And we are in a black and jewish community. Hell, now that I think about it I WAS the ghetto neighbor in the hood. Well not me personally but guilt by association and common address. Y'all done heard them stories at length though.

See. I started this post over an hour ago. Now I forgot where I was. Damn Facebook! And shame on all of you who ain't bloggin' or facebookin' on the reg! How the hell am I supposed to keep up with all of you?

:: getting down off of soapbox which mysteriously appeared under my feetz... ::

Something

Wow. 21 posts in half a year. I feel shame. Missed June entirely. Double shame.

Can't promise things will improve either. Ain't been feeling the words in my fingers.

I have achieved some contentment but am still unsettled.

I guess the time I spend blogging was the time I wasn't spending with my wife. It is the only thing I can think of that will explain my absence. She gets the time now instead of you. It ain't that I don't have the time. It ain't that I don't have stuff to say anymore. But I have been communicating to the world lately. But Facebook is the debil and takes up that time. I guess that will subside soon enough.

I am thinking about starting up again. My mind is all aclutter (yeah I know it ain't a word!) and I need to start the cleaning. I probably will focus again. Maybe I will sleep at night again.

Now I have run out of words and boredom is taking control. Yet sleep still doesn't come.

Later.

Just Some Stuff

It is amazing how the smallest thing brings you unmatched amounts of momentary joy. I say this because my new mouse didn't scroll in some of my apps. I just figured out that the program that loads the mouse properties was the culprit. So when I disabled the program, I found that I could use the scroll in Firefox, Thunderbird and Flock! Don't get me wrong, Chrome is a nice browser, but it ain't no Firefox. Oh joy!!! Lemme go and make it the default again!

The semester has started. I might just consider this fun. One class is at the extension center. Not as far from the new crib as the main campus. Nonetheless, I was wishing I HAD went and begged to get in that web class. That had to be the WORST damn traffic I been in outside of a snow storm in a long time. And it is like that on the reg! Definitely gonna have to take another way.

We actually have a new lease and keys and services connected or in process. Just gotta get stuff moved now.

Did y'all know that folk give shit away on Craigslist for free? I said Fo' FREE!!! My wife was out there looking for a treadmill and found the free section. There was a mofo out there who was giving away a 50" big screen TV. If I hadn't already agreed to get one from somebody else (along with a living room full of furniture and a couple of exercise machines for cheap) I might have called!

More later or something...

Randomosity

From the never say never files:
The Wife is the proud owner of a new used Cadillac! She of course never liked Cadillacs. Figure the irony!

Gas prices have come down. The gas fueled price increases on food haven't. Go figure...

It's coming down to crunch time. I doubt that I will be around any more often than I have been lately. But I won't be gone any more often that I know of. So this ain't a blog break or fake retirement or anything. Just an update.

As it stands, this semester is going along rather swimmingly. Unless I seriously drop the ball, I should come out of this semester with at worst an A and two B's. But three A's is more likely. I shall keep you posted.

I swear if my advisor does not make my damn plan of work a priority, I am gonna move into her damn office! I started this process a couple of years back. She kept putting me off by telling me I needed to get my records updated. I finally did that last summer since it was on my mind to drop in to Morehouse to get that transcript. Never stopped at the college but I got it done online. And the local CC the January before that. So by the time I got to her in August, she was surprised to find the records that she had just requested I get (again) were already on file. So she told me that she needed to get past Registration to get it done. That was to take about two weeks after Labor Day. She got about six extra weeks. I sent an e-mail early last week. Followed up with a phone call at the end of the week. Still not done. She hadn't gotten to the e-mail by the phone call. She assured me that it would be done by Monday (just passed). It wasn't. I just dropped in all unannounced today (since I happened to be there) to see how things were going. Okay, it was a physical reminder that I was stoking the fire under her. The office worker steered off telling me that walk=in counseling was on Tuesday when I mentioned that I needed a status on my Plan Of Work which she has been "working" om all semester. It is supposed to be done before week end. I guess the database will be repaired by then. I get the feeling that I will be there on walk-in counseling to blow cognac breath on her fire. I can't finish registering until she gets on her job and gets my approvals and makes sure all the t's and i's are crossed and dotted. Registration started two weeks ago... Y'all feel me?

Amazement!

I just bought gas at $1.89!!!!!!! Then got mad that I saw it for $1.87 two blocks away.

Pass it on!!!

Things I Learned In The Last 48

Things learned in the last 48 hours:

1. My fears that I could possibly be one of those tacky, sad and sorry ass men who treat women like cum dumpsters is pretty much unfounded. Based on the general consensus from the answers on my last post, I am on the right track. Now to educate these other fools...
   
2. Saving is absoultely a priority! Even if Blogger saves every damn time you stop typing or one second, you still can lose things. Dammit!!!!
3. Insomnia is not a good thing to have land on ya! I am usually rolling in the bed deep into the morning hours. Racing the sun to my bed is not unusual for me. But today for some strange reason I lost that race. By a wide margin. I think it was near nine before the bed and sleep took me away. And I was up before noon coffee. This crash is gonna catch me but good!
4. No matter what, some muhfuggas are just gonna try you. Even if you have already established that there is no way that they are ever gonna win as long as you are breathing and healthy. Numerous times...
5. Dreamy has it in for me. She did them song lyrics knowing I wasn't gonna leave them alone! And if I hadn't already been there to try my hand at it, she would be coming to threaten me to do so! You know what I am saying to be true! I am glad there is love there! And here is something from the 80's you and Southern Girl can get up and boogie to!
   
6. The other Haremite that likes to threaten me also has demanded things of me. I know not to disobey the Oldgirl. Especially when grits are involved. So things will get positively Smurfy up in here! Y'all know what that means... Yep! I am gonna pick on you all! Hope y'all like blue...
7. There truly is a God in heaven. If not there truly is an unseen force that guides all things good. If not karma does indeed somehow work, however strangely. I say this because, the nephew who I recently wrote about had a job offer turn into job! That is right folk! He can get his own damn gas money because he is gonna get his own damn cheddar! Off to Minnesota to meet his work crew, then off to Cali and after that other parts unknown! He won't be in town for his birthday. Nor will he be in town for his son's VERY first birthday. Sucks yeah. But better to miss his arrival than his continued care and welfare. Hey... You said two hours dude? Why you still in town?
8. I picked the right group of ladies for The Harem. I can always count on the goodness from them.
   
9. And I may have to add another Homie or two.
10. And I need a good drink. Or seven. Aside from The Ultimate Margarita from Champps, I am taking suggestions on the other six. As long as they do not require cognac and a mixer...