I decided to get in on the monthly group topic that Ladynay and Freaky Deaky are posting on regularly. This month's topic is embarrassing moments. So, here is one of mine...
Way back when. There was pay TV before cable. Antenna and special RF switch and you were in business. My dad had ON-TV. ON-TV was one of many "scrambled UHF" services in many major markets around the country in the era before multi-channel cable television became widely available.
That day there was a family gathering. Several of his brothers and sisters and their kids came by. Partying, fun, eats, baseball game. All that good stuff.
It got late and folk left and the stragglers were still hanging around. Some hang tough in the fam. I forget where the women folk were but they weren't in sight. Dad, his brother and Cud'n J, decided to make a store run. This particular time my cousin Nut (for lack of a better term) decided to see what was on. So he set the switch and turned the thing on. Well lo and behold! Ass and titties!!! He managed to find the x-rated shit. We were about 16 and 14 at the time. So after getting a little excited, I started to get nervous. He was all in the little horndog. So I mentioned that he should turn the damn thing back off before somebody came in and saw what he was watching. "Wait a minute!" was all the response I got. So after about another minute or two or trying to persuade him to correct his sinful ways, I decided to take action.
"I am gonna turn it off. We gonna get in trouble!" said I.
I meant ME since I was the "host" and the oldest. So I head to the TV. He jumps up in front of me to block the way.
"Okay! I will turn it off in a minute!", the damn liar...
"Hurry up! They are gonna be back in a second! How far you think the store is?" I quipped.
"Alright man!", the damm liar...
So I head toward to kitchen to look out the window to see when they drive up.
And run right smack into Cud'n J! With dad and Nut's dad in tow.
Never before or since did I sincerely wish I could faint like I was wishing at that moment. They cruised into the room and stopped to watch the show. I dragged slowly behind them and ended back in the room. I was so fixing to dime Nut's skinny ass out. I wasn't going down by myself dammit!!!
Then Cud'n J says "Damn! He didn't stay in there long did he?"
The whole room busted out laughing. Then several off color jokes were bandied about by the grown folk (you had to see dad and his brothers in their heyday).
Then dad says "Turn that off before my wife walks up in here! Y'all betta not do that again!"
I almost fainted (again) from the relief. And thanked my lucky stars that his wife DIDN'T walk in! I really would have needed to do some damn good explaining!!!
