Bin Laden Found!!!
CAIRO, July 30 (Reukers) - The search for reputed terrorist leader Osama Bin Laden has ended today. It appears that five women from the United States and England have hunted down and found the fugitive who has eluded the powers that be for years.
The five women got involved when one of their friends called them to vent. New wife Nikki Bin Laden had some suspicions that her husband was having an extra-marital affair. So she called several of her friends to talk and vent her frustrations. What happened next was a scene right out of a movie. Several of her friends volunteered to help find out what was going on. So Nikki paid for airline tickets for them all to meet her. After a few days of investigating, the sneaking husband was found in Cairo, Egypt. He was found in the company of Nefer Larouche, a french model and actress.
Apparently the ladies had him under surveillance outside the Cairo Hiltonian. Several tips led them to this particular place. And their stakeout was born. They managed to sneak into the hotel and gathered at the door to his room.
A former special forces drill sergeant was witness to what happened next. "I saw a bunch or women gathered around a door. They looked REAL serious. They breached that door like one of my old training units! I wish I had them in Iraq! That was A-1 asskicking right there!"
Jazzy, 36, Jersey City, New Jersey said, "Yeah son! He thought he was slick! But we hid in the bushes until he came back. Caught him all hugged up. So I sent the pics to my homegirl so she could come and bust him! I got the pictures on my Crackberry! Wanna see?"
Lee, 38, Atlanta, Georgia had this to say, "We bust that sucka in his grill with some bricks, that's what happened!! Knocked one of his teeth out!"
Jaila B, 35, Atlanta, Georgia added, "It's really no surprise. I told my girl that she had to perfect her tongue lashin' skills but she wouldn't hear of it. Now look at this madness."
Carlene, 24, London, England stated, "I was gonna just make up a bunch of stuff to embarrass him in front of that chick. But when I saw him all nekkid with her I said "You have exactly two seconds to explain before I give you a vasectomy""
Ms B, 35, Brooklyn, New York quipped, "My BFF is so open off this good for nothing dude that its just ri-damn-diculous!! And you know what else? He corny as hell! He was laying up in there just playing with Nefer's titties! I mean, how ain't that corny as shit? He probably thought it was clever or something! He NEEDED to be busted!"
"What the hell kinda name is Nefer anyway? I am with my homegirl. That shit was corny!", stated Jaila B.
An animated Lee added, "Yeah I said it! I'm saying it loud and proud on eyewitness news! I got my girl's back all day! Ride or die, ya heard me!? He better watch his back, because we gonna shank that fool and finish him off next time! She told him about fooling around wit Nefer! You gonna pay, dawg!"
Another witness, LL Cool L, had these thoughts, "Man! Them women were serious! I almost got ran down! But I saw that look before and knew to move out of the way!" He had this to say regarding the capture, "Who knew it would go down like this? But then again, they got Al Capone on tax evasion..."
A third witness, R. Jizzy, stated "Man, I am glad I was here with my boo! I would hate to get caught up like that! I ain't never seen a man that tall cry like that!"
It seems that the $25 million reward is just icing...
But when questioned about the potential windfall, the ladies had this to say.
"Why you gotta be all up in my financials?", said Carly.
"Well, me and my girl Stella figured we would go to NOSEYVILLE and "conversate" with a overly curious person or two...", said Jaila B.
"You tryin' to be down? You wanna ride my jock? Huh? Why you gotta try to ride me like a rodeo show?" Said Jazzy.
"If you see me ridin' fly. Lookin' like a rich bitch, don't hate!!!", said Ms. B.
"Nefer you better be glad you ran! Cuz we got something for dat ass! And we know where you live! You best grow some eyes in the back of your head, ya chickenhead!! Um. And I thought I would take a little time off from the job. This backlog of blanket orders is getting outta hand!"
Hi(gh), how are you?
6 months ago
20 comments:
LMAO! You are insane! Hey, why 2 of them got to be from the ATL, lol!
MIZ! That's because everyone knows that women from the A.T.L. don't play.
Good reporting by the way, better than anything we'd ever get from Fixed, I mean, Fox News.
LOL!! You never cease to amaze me with your craziness!!
LMAO!!!! This is the funniest post I've read all week!
I read the title and did a double take...like WORD???? Then I said, out loud...gtfoh when I read "reukers" instead of "reuters". lol
LL Cool L...seriously???? lmao
You should do this more often...it was so hard to sit here with a straight face (I'm being watched yo!) lol...and I would soooooooo send pics from the crackberry to my homie!!!
@ Miz - Well truly, if it had been a complete work of fiction by me alone, they would have all been from Detroit! But since a few of the Haremites participated in the madness, they got credit for their contributions.
-Or-
The short answer is, two of them ARE from Atlanta!
@ Terry - Hmmm... Maybe I will try my hand at journalism since I can write above the level of Fux news!
@ Tommie - Well, you know how I do it!
@ Diva - Yeah. This is the post that the cryptic e-mail was about. It would have been out last week but folk be slow with checking their e-mail.
And yes... Seriously. You saw the pics!
I can just see you sitting there with your hand over your mouth trying to keep the giggles in!
And you know I know you would have made them shits into a damn Powerpoint presentation and sent them with a notice "Sent to you from a Crackberry Pearl"
Funny, man! LOL @ Lee and her backlog of blanket orders
Question: Have I told you how hilarious I think you are lately???
LMAO...
Love how you put this all together by the way!
Remarkable. I'm going to invite some people over here and show them what insanely funny truly is, because they clearly do not know the meaning of the term. Thanks for the chuckles friend! -lol
BWAAAHAAHAHAHAAHA! leave it to the chicks from da atl to turn it violent.
now i feel retarded that i didnt participate, cause this was too cute
ok, if you havent disowned me i am down for the next one
ahhh it all makes sense now.
I am glad to be part of the violence.
@ Mature Gal - Yeah. You know the nouveau riche gotta have something to occupy their time!
@ Ms. B. - Hmm... Lately? Well do it now and that way we will be sure!
And I am glad you could help! Did you like your extra dialog?
@ Powerman! - Glad you enjoyed it! And you know the more the merrier! Let the madness grow!
@ Nikki - You know! Gotta find an e-mail address for you so I can get you in on the next one (should there be one) and to send that e-card! (if you want one...)
@ Dreamy - I almost added you too! But you are only a little blonde. Not completely retarded! And you won't be disowned. Participation was completely optional.
@ Jaila - Yes. It makes sense when painted in the full background! I thought your statement to be the perfect counterpoint to the others!
i just added you to my gchat so check ya email.
What kind of brain do you have?!!! You are the silliest and the wittiest!
C
@ Nikki - Okie dokie!
@ Lovebabz - Well Babz, I don't call it the madness for nothing! Some days I think that me and Heath Ledger's Joker aren't that far apart. As you could probably tell from this and my July 25 contributions...
Hey Nikki. I didn't get it! It may be wherever Tom_gurl's passwords go...
I love this post! This was mad creative, yo! For the record, I would never call anyone boo. I hate that word. LOL
Can I be down with reward though!
Okay, why am I day late on this. DANG!!
3 words:
You. are. crazy.
Yes, the broads down here in the ATL tare it down, bruh!!
LOL@ that "blanket backlog". LOL!!!
I'm mad you let Osama get caught like that. You know he would've reached into his beard and pulled out a half-eaten cheeseburger, a bird's nest, six firecrackers, whatever was in Al Capone's vault, the name of the "real" killer O.J. Simpson has been looking for, and a disassembled rocket propelled grenade launcher. LOL
@ Rashan - Maybe you wouldn't do it, but I wouldn't put it past Jizzy!
And you will have to talk to the assault team about the reward...
@ Ladylee - Hey! Rich smart chicks gotta have SOMETHING to do aside from looking and being fabulous! And I thought you would wanna lay low after the bricking!
@ Freaky - Man you ain't that mad! Because you know when you got a titty in your hand the only thing you are thinking about is getting IN not getting OUT!!!
Otherwise I see where you are coming from...
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