Older Old Skool Joint

I guess it is kinda hard to look REALLY masculine singing that damn high...



Really though. With the state of music these days, he could stand to make a come back.

New Old Skool Joint

What ever happened to...?

Tha Weekend...

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School Madness: Tha Update

I went in for another round of advising because I was positively in a twist last night.

I get there after several misstarts getting out of the door. And it is a rainy kinda day so I ain't feeling that wonderful. After one tardy bus and one crowded bus I make my sweaty way into the office. I sign in and wait for about 10 minutes. While I am there I see this Indian/Pakistani guy sitting with a small baby. A couple of minutes later I see this thin and fine thing walk out and ask him "Is the baby OK?". At which point I nearly fall the hell outta my chair because this woman had to be either a size 0 or a -2. She must have looked like she was smuggling soccer balls when the kid was inside... But I digress...

Because a couple of minutes later I see some fine chocolate walked up in the office and go to the sign in sheet. I thought she was another student until she called my name. So I followed her (with a slight grin) right past my own advisor and to her office. So already my day is better. I tell her about the registration process nearly making me lose my religion last night. So we dig into the transcript and did a quick audit of the classes.

One of the classes I don't have to take because it isn't offered any more. Cool! Three fewer credits and nearly a grand saved! Another I had passed and as long as I bring a B in another course, it should even out if it isn't already. The class I was registered for I did indeed pass previously, so one more off the list of those needed...
My Physics course grade never got submitted for whatever reason so... I am taking Chemistry! It was a Physics course for Physics majors, so the professor told me at the time, an it was mind bending! Fuck that! Not doing that again! Then again... Scratch that! They would require me to be on campus three days for an hour and TOO early for me to take Chemistry! I am taking Astronomy!!! And it is a web class!!!
I figured out which computer course I actually needed last night. I just needed to see how many credits I had to take to get there. So the 2 credit class is registered for...
And my Systems Analysis class is registered for because I stunk that one up bad before!
The capstone course for the Business school, Business Policy, needs advisor approval and it wasn't open at the time. But they may make you manually register for that one... The Software Tools for Business Applications and Information Systems Policy and Management classes are only Winter term classes.

So that leaves four business courses, one computer science course and one natural science course and I am DONE! Three and Three (barring surprises) and I am out!

School Madness

I must be getting old. And I am not so eager to start classes suddenly. I say these things because I am still not really registered for classes. I spent like four hours yesterday playing around with things. I was trying to find the non-existent class my advisor gave me. I then realized that she told me to take a different class that I already passed. I was attempting to reconcile the needed classes from the bulletin with the missing classes on my transcript. I came to the realization that half of the damn classes I need are either offered NEXT term or currently closed. ALL of my damn classes will be at night since the one I already took was the lone daytime class. These night classes are gonna cause a serious problem for me since carrying firearms in dorms and classrooms is illegal in Michigan. But riding busses at night in my neighborhood unarmed is not really all that smart. And no car... OH yeah. I almost forgot, there are two classes on my transcript I need to readdress but one doesn't seem to exist anymore and the requirements seem to be changed regarding the other...

Forgive me if you pass by me today and I seem to look confused.

Anyway, lemme shut the hell up and get my ass to her office so we can get this shit cleared up. Cause I REALLY don't wanna deal with Late Registration.

Damn! And it is raining...

At least my financial aid papers are filled out and submitted. I sure hope they don't give me these kinda problems...

Thursday Thirteen: Favorite TV Characters

Here are a few of my favorite characters as seen on TV.

The originators of this series can be found HERE

Jack Bauer: This guy defines American Hero and Do WHATEVER it takes. I don't know about y'all but if there is some terrorist madness going on, I want him on the job. He always gets his man and even has been known to make collateral damage of friends and allies, all in the name of saving the day!

Jonas Blaine: Soldier of soldiers. Special ops operator. My TV sleeps well at night knowing that this bad ass and his band of merry killers are putting it down for the old Stars and Stripes. Definitely not a guy to mess with. Especially if you are a terrorist stupid enough to "take revenge" at their own home base.

"Big Ed" Deline: Former president and chief of operations of the former Montecito Hotel and Casino on the former show known as Las Vegas. This guy is a throw back to the olden days when Vegas was a mob resort in the desert. Out smarted crooks on the regular and ran the show with ease. Intensely loyal to his peeps, to the point of offing one of their abusive parents.

Captain James T. Kirk: The very definition of never give up. This guy was dead determined not to fail, lose his ship, lose his friends, or miss a chance at a hot babe! A legendary fighter, joke cracker, ladies man, and over emoter! But he definitely had swagger and defined what a REAL starship captain was made of...

Fox Mulder: A man who lived his life in the margin of the strange. Extraterrestrial, paranormal, unexplainable or just plain weird. If it was out there then he was all over it. He tended to get himself in a bit of trouble because of it. But always came out (mostly) no worse for wear because of it. And often got answers.

Dana Scully: What do you get when you mix the initials M.D. and FBI? You get the red headed hottie above of course. Always the scientist, she almost never believed her partner when he explained the strange. Forever ready with a scientific explanation to counter his voodoo. Of course I never really minded that she was wrong most of the time. Cause smart chicks are hott!!!

Horatio Caine: Cool as a redheaded cucumber. This dude is half geek and half action hero. He runs a team of scientists and has been known to bust a gat with the quickness when needed. Okay he busts the gat often because some dudes ain't learned to listen when the dude goes positively Batmanlike.

Gil Grissom: Smart dudes rule! And this is one smart dude. An investigative scientist with an unnatural fascination with bugs. While other dudes solve things by acting, this dude actually thinks his way into the solution!

Uncle Bernie: Say what you want to about the Cosby Show, but this is my favorite TV dad! He had them kids straight up on lock! To me this is the typical dad. All the good things that folk expect in a father. Yet he didn't mind bringing the pain when they stepped outta line. You gotta have balance... And you know he done hit them kids in the stomach or the throat or busted their heads until the white meat showed!

Huey Freeman: The ever thoughtul and ever frustrated suburban revolutionary. Remarkably deep for a 10 year old. Dude is quick to wonder about the absurdities of life as we tend to live it. And is a Kung-Fu master!

Riley Freeman: Aka Riley Escobar, ake H.R. Paperstacks, aka Horse Choker, aka Pillsbury Doughboy, aka Louis Rich, aka Young Reezy, aka... You get the idea. Dude definitely caught up in the lifestyle of the Hip Hop generation. Most likely to live ghetto fabulous and most likely to hatch some crazy ass get rich scheme.

Admiral William Adama: Captain of the Battlestar Galactica. that alone should be reason enough to be in this list. But he also is basically the savior of humanity. He is the man in charge of the only viable military ship left to humanity after the destruction of 12 worlds. He gathered up the 50,000 or so remaining souls and their rides and protected them and steered them to the guestination of Earth. Even if half of them didn't deserve it...


Adrian Monk: Obsessive and compulsive. This man belongs in an insane asylum. He is an extreme germophobe and king of neat freaks. But he just happens to be the best detective in San Francisco, possibly the world. Between bouts of being a barely societally functional head case, he manages to crack even the most impossible cases by remembering even the most minute details of things that he has seen.

The Cool Kids

I got to hang with the cool kids this weekend. Of course if my chillens were reading this, they would think this was SO about them. I mean I hung with them too. Back to school shopping and such. Even though they ran The Wife straight up a wall by acting like they could hardly be bothered. And she had the money to shop like she wanted to this time. Damn shame when you gotta ask folk SEVERAL times if they want something. But then again, that means we did something right since they aren't all stuck on the acquisition of goods and such.

But since this isn't about them. The Wife might think I am talking about her. Since I did hang out with her and she most definitely the coolest kid I know. For obvious reasons...

But this ain't about her either.

This is about the new additions who spent a little quality time with me this past weekend.

Brandon Deon II

This is my great nephew. Getting a little spoil and nap in. He was feeling a little fussy since he HATES to be laying down. I think those women done spoiled him already!!! Dangit! They done ruin't him in three weeks time! I can see me and he are gonna have to spend a little time together. No use in it getting outta control to the point of the woodshed!

Anaya Princess Marie

This little darling was the new arrival that I mentioned back in April. This was taken when she decided that my head was too tempting a target for her NOT to be in. Seems she figured out how to get my attention. An impromptu head massage from a woman is never a bad thing! Although I could have done without the drool on my scalp...

Kurn the Spoiled

This is Dog. He acts special like this often. Caught him napping on this one. No chips so there was no entertaining video to share this time. But then again, look at him. Did I really need video?

What's On My Mind: The Review

For those who took my little pop quiz on Sunday, the answer was "I am thinking about learning to play the guitar!" Congratulations to Thoughts Of A Southern Gal for getting the answer! For those who missed it, for shame! I mentioned it in passing on Sunday! (I see who REALLY reads up in here... Just messin' with y'all!)

The Get List is a general guideline for moving my life in a beneficial direction. One of the specific items under Get Educated and hence Get Wealthier and also Do whatever it takes to make a life better, is to learn to read music and play an instrument or three. The guitar has been calling me the hardest. More specifically the electric guitar. Which of course fits in with my bad boy image of The Biker Dude. Cause riding out with an electric guitar strapped to your back looks MUCH cooler than having a saxophone or a piano strapped on. Don't believe me? Do the mental images yourself...

Besides that looks like a bunch of fun to me. Chilling at the Promenade behind Cobo @ 2 dark thirty with a portable amp, the river and a nice breeze. Hmmm... Might have to get that scenario in place for next summer.

What's On My Mind...

See if you can pick out the common theme in this play list. This is the next thing I am considering putting on my plate...

Mad Behind

I am still behind in my reading from last week. Things have made my days a little fuller than usual. And them damn Olympics at night too...

If you haven't seen my by in a few, don't worry. I ain't forgot about you. I just been reading back to get caught up on everybody I have visited. And y'all know how Ladylee do it!

And I try to leave my chat client open when I am at my keyboard, so you can reach me that way if need be!

And I have been trying to get my Google accounts and blogger logins straight. So if you see some strange changes, it is me trying to transition the blog from one ID the the proper one!

So the name of the poster on the older posts either might either change or disappear completely.

A Little Thrill

I have been an M.I.A. Student at the Wayne State University School of Business for almost 14 years now. Why? Because we usually go to college to get a career. My career found me mid semester in 1993. I was enrolled in the Professional Development Program at a large IT employer in the area. This was a class and a job at the same time. On numerous days I would arrive before 8 in the morn and not leave until 9 that evening. Which made it rather hard to make those three hour classes three evenings a week. I learned to be a work-a-holic then. I have had the good sense to forget though...

After the program ended, I was put on assignments in Michigan that had me traveling to at least an hour each way to go to work. So the classes didn't get picked back up. When I finally did manage to get assigned close to the city, life happened. Fell in love, became a home owner and a family man. You know, grown man shit. As I said, life happened. And here I sit 14 years later without a bachelor's degree that I started my quest to find in 1985!

Yesterday I went to speak to my academic advisor. I had been in contact with her over the last couple of years. Trying to make progress. I have been out long enough that things have changed. So I needed to get a new plan of work to determine what was needed to finish my quest. I still don't have that. But all the paperwork and transcripts and readmission thingies have been submitted. Much to her surprise. The plan of work will take a couple of weeks to process since it is spin up to the fall semester. And she wanted to make sure that every thing was cool since I have been in that particular school since 1988.

Four good things I found out as a result of that meeting:

1. She said that there may be some requirements that I don't need to take because of my ancient admission date. Cool. Even less than I might imagine is needed.
2. Since all of my readmission stuff is out of the way, I can register for fall classes.
3. A query by me to determine the approximate number of credits needed for graduation, barring surprises on the plan of work is...16!!!
4. If I jump on things, I can have an answer about my financial aid package in about 2 weeks! About a week after the semester starts!!!!!

Needless to say I had a nice little bounce in my step. Even enough to erase the fact that I had just dropped off $16 in late library books!

I don't know where the hell all the money is coming from, but dammit I am gonna be in somewhere between 2 and 5 classes come next week!!! Now book money is a whole different story...

Tha Good Good?

I was recently asked to watch a video and give a reaction. This particular video is Good Good by Ashanti.

At first glance I decided I could actually like Ashanti. The imagery in the video spoke to what the Good Good really is. It did so in a somewhat silly manner, but it did so. And that got me to thinking about my own stance on Untested Pussy. Basically that all pussy is good pussy and if you gonna brag on yours being superior, then I am gonna call bullshit on that unless you prove otherwise.

This of course begs the question. Is this song gonna turn into an anthem for the chickenheads who don't understand that keeping a man goes outside the Paradise Triangle? I am all for confidence in that gold you sitting on. But hell, let's be honest, they are all golden to men! So if you gonna use good as an adjective and a noun, you better have something else on the table.

That said, I can see this song becoming popular with a few types of women.
Dumb Chicks - These are the ones that think popping the coochie is way to a man's heart, wallet, car, crib, etc. They are dumb of course because of well, other Dumb Chicks! Y'all know y'all done seen some pussy popping contests over a man, just to prove a point! So you can see how this might go over!

Somewhat Dumb Chicks - These are the ones who know how to do the maintenance on a man but think their shit is so damn good that they can use it to control a dude! You done met this type. They can be June Cleaver all the day long. But they only break out the Vanessa Del Rio when it is to their advantage. Or even worse, try to use the promise of some trim to keep a dude in line. These are also the ones likely to cry to get their way.

Real Women - These are the ones that know it takes large portions of Vanessa Del Rio and June Cleaver to make the for real Good Good! Hell we men are simple. If a meal is cooked and hot on the stove, do you honestly think we are gonna wanna go to the nearest Old Country Buffet? Hellz No!

For those not in the know, the formula generally goes like this.
Happy man = Food in the fridge and/or on the stove, A big ass TV, Sports for the big ass TV, Beer! And most important "All you can eat" pussy. All found at the crib.

A man that is hungry, hard, unaware of the scores and not beer mellowed is a man that leaves the house.

I suspect that there is one class of woman who will only shake her head at that song/video.
The Fareal Real Woman - This is the one who is half Vanessa Del Rio, one fourth June Cleaver and one fourth Claire Huxtable! These women already know what is up and are confident enough not to need to brag that they have the Good Good. Cause we already know she got it!

The above is a line of thinking related to The Grandfather Clause (A Bullshit Theory)

Woodward Dream Cruisin'

I spent the weekend out with my family. The wife is in the automotive industry. So she managed to get us some really sweet VIPage this weekend. We went to the Woodward Dream Cruise as guests of the Eaton Corporation. Which meant we got freebies! T-shirt, Official 1/64 scale Dream Cruise Shelby Mustang replica, and FOOD!!! Not to mention that Eaton's guest compound was right in cruiser central at 13 mile and Woodward!

Got up early and headed to the shuttle. The wife remarked that we wasted more gas goint to the shuttle than to the actual event. But hey, somebody else was driving and the shuttle parking was free! We got to drool over dozens of well maintained cars in the park. Us parents watched with great amusement as the children almost fell in the ground with the pain of being born way too late as we went down the list of rides our parents had. The Girl Child nearly fell over when I walked her by a '71 GTO that was a lot like the one my mom had back in the day. And then she nearly twisted up in a convulsion when the next car was much like the '73 Mach 1 my dad had. And of course we did the necessary exaggerations about cars arriving for minutes when passing the late '60's and early '70's LTDs that our fathers owned. Yeah. They were born way too late! Did I mention the Monte Carlos?

The sound of a NASCAR engine revving high was like a siren call to the dozens of car heads strolling through the park in the late morning. One of the big motor oil makers had a dyno display set up with a Nextel Cup car running on it. 750 horsepower is a beautiful sound I tell ya!

On to eat! Hot dogs, hamburgers, Italian sausages (foot long), grilled chicken, three different mayo salads, garden salad, chips (potato and tortilla) and I tried to eat them all! And they had water and pop (no, not soda dammit) galore! So many that my Ghetto Girl Child decided that she was thirsty and decided to collect one of each (8 kinds...) prompting us to say "That's G" all day. "G" meaning ghetto as hell! Did I mention they had desert? Fruit (melons, grapes and such) Pastries (cake, cookies, brownies) and ICE CREAM!!! They had Dove bars up in there! And Good Humor!!! I think I gained five pounds and three shades eating outside.

After we finished putting the feed bag on, we waddled toward the real action. Slobbered over a few more rides and hit the main drag. I think that cars from pretty much every decade were well represented on Woodward that day. Rumble seats, racing slicks, neon paint, land yacts from earlier days, an old Checker cab, VW busses (hippie vintage), a car with a circuit board surface, a protester with a sign asking if we have been saved, Smart cars and even an Urkel Mobile (BMW Isetta)! And MANY many many many Mustangs, Camaros, Chevelles, Firebirds, Chargers, Challengers and Corvettes of MANY years!

A good time was had by all. So we caught an early (5:00 p.m.) shuttle back to the car to beat the rush. Strangely enough we left around the same time they stopped passing out food. Imagine that! But I managed to be fat and full and with 2/3 of my summer coloring by the time we got back in. I had to say it was a good day!

On An Enjoy Today

That is right! I am on an enjoy today. Getting caught up on the reading I didn't do this weekend while I was gone! The sun is shining. The weather is pleasant. The tunes are kicking loud in my headphones!

"The first, the last, my everything!
And the answer to all my dreams!"

Congrats to Haremite Supreme, That Original Oldgirl, LadyLee for celebrating her 10th anniversary of being Dr. LadyLee!

"I got sunshine, on a cloudy day!
When it's cold outside, I got the month of May!"

The fools and their foolishness best not ruin this day for me. I see no reason for them to get me started because I see no good reason for me to BE started!

"I won't be neglected, I won't be denied.
The pleasure of your kisses, the pleasure of your smile."

It is said that you can pick your teeth, you can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your family! Now that being said, how many people do you know who would be unloved orphans if you COULD pick your family?

"I wanna know...
Is it still good to ya!
Does it feel all right?
Is it still good to ya!
Will you prove it tonight?"

Why am I not mad that the Jamaicans seem to be handing the U.S. Track athletes their asses? I am a rabid homer most times. So whatever the home team is I am rooting like crazy. Well, except the Lions... But I can't be mad at them!

"Strangled by the wishes of pater
Hoping for the arms of mater
Get to me the sooner or later"

I think I spend too much time sitting at this dang computer. Because I find myself typing so much faster than usual that I have to stop and make sure I got it right.

"What's it gonna be?
Cause I can't pretend.
Don't you wanna be more than friends?"

Why is it that the good groups fade away and forever do concerts on their good old stuff. While the record companies constantly put out crap from crappy artists?

"That's right, pleased to meet you,
I still won't tell you my name.
Don't you believe in mystery,
don't you wanna play my game?"

They sure don't make them like that fine ass Vanity no more!

"We can make a million promises
But we still won't change
It isn't right to stay together
When we only bring each other pain"

Why am I still having a problem with Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon?

"Things are kinda hazy
And my head's all cloudy inside
Now I've heard talk of angels
But never thought I'd have one to call mine"

You know, the older I get, the easier it is for me to find the beauty in a woman. I guess evolution comes with seeing beyond the visual.

" How am I worthy of
Love from an angel
Princess superior of my soul"

I also think I need a good digital SLR and a guitar in my life.

Answering Another Divalicious Question: The Get List

About a week or two ago, The Blog Wife, Opinionated Diva asked me how I was doing with my list for improving things in my situation. That question was based on this post from a while back. She being the wonderful and caring person that she is, asked how things were progressing half a year later. This post is her answer.

Y'all will have to excuse me for having published this incomplete. The original version didn't have the above explanation. So I am sure folk were wondering what the hell was the question that she asked. At least I was wondering that when I read it...
Also I forgot to mention that I have all of you under Get Wealthier and Get Closer...


Get Wealthier

• Not much progress has been made on this front. But of course should I decide that my current volunteer position needs changing, I suspect that things should change rather rapidly.
• But The Wife is starting to take orders for the baking business. That might get going soon!
  

Get Healthier

• I have been in closer contact with my doctor.
  
• I am doing better managing my health issues.
  
• Of course I have to get wealthier before I can really improve my diet.
  

Get Educated

• I have an appointment with my adviser to discuss my remaining classes for my degree.
• My BS in BA/MIS is not far off.
• Getting wealthier would likely help some too.
• I have been picking up some knowledge on web design and XML here and there. So I may be changing things up here and there...
  

Get Selfish

• Yeah. This one is probably the most urgent of them all.
  
• Too much has been slipping and going wrong because I haven't done this one!
• Self interest has taken a back seat to duty at times. That ain't cool with me no more.
  

Get Closer

• I am working on this one too.
• I am trying to reconnect with family and friends that I have been missing out on while hermiting.
• I am also trying to get back to the way things are SUPPOSED to be with The Wife and kids.
  

Get Distant

• This one really only can be measured by other things happening first. Especially Get Gone.
  

Get Mobile

• Some progress is being made on this.
  
• My car is on the road again. Unfortunately, The Wife's car suffered a tragedy which made it necessary to put my not so road ready ride back in traffic!
  

Get Gone

• No offers to leave town yet. Dangit!
• Might have a little movement on getting out of THIS place though.
  

Get Your Duty Done

• As much of it as I can whenever I can. It is working out better for mom at this point than The Wife. But that may find some balance soon.
  

And most of all DO whatever it takes to make a life better... YOURS!!!!!!

• It isn't exactly getting worse. So the slide seems to be stopping.
• I have all of you. How isn't that better?
• I have been making some progress on everything else so things are bound to look up!
  

Favorite Posts Another Time.

This is a little something I had hiding in the drafts. So these posts are a little bit older. With a couple of recent ones added on? Catch up if you missed out!

Terry. Left me speechless again. With this.

I just love me some Minerva Exertion, especially after the wonderful shade of purple she turned in becasues of Purple M&Ms Part1 and Part 2

Watch as Dreamy launches a cute little foot off into her cute little mouth right here!

Two at work rants in the same day:
Boredndropkickin'
I Am Toodamnsleepytobebothered

It ain't the Glock that makes J fearsome. This does

You all got snowed! Gotcha! Interview With A Blogger

Damn near fell outta my chair on this one! Stank Ass!

The truth is sometimes better than fiction! Jaila's Customers

An Oldgirl's Thirdaversary! Three times!

Another P-Chats Post

Pop on over to the P-Chats and see what I did this time!!!

The Nominees Are...

The Black Weblog Awards is asking you to nominate your top bloggers. There are a million and one categories. When I voted I left a few blank…but here are my votes.



Best Design:
Luke Cage
Luke Cage's Spot - Hell if I could figure out the real name I would put that there!!!

Best Post or Series of Posts:
Making the Blog
Beats, Rhymes and Life - Making The Blog - My exit was priceless! The rest of it was quite good too!

Photo Blog
Mindspill
Bygbaby.com's Mind Spill - Almost make me wanna blow a grand I don't have on a digital SLR and learn the craft.

Best Writing
Nikki
Indigo Trail Of My Thoughts - The Cunt Cameo and Cars. She is burnt but in a good way...

Best Gossip Blog & Blog O' The Year
That Bitch!
Rhymes With Snitch - Call me biased if you will. But cuz be having me in stitches. And upon reading the requirements for Blog Of The Year, this one was right there!

Blog To Watch
Opinionated Diva
Divalicious Opinions - Definitely an up and comer. Even considered her for BOTY. AND she nominated me!

I would have nominated the Pussy Chats for Best Group Blog but I am a contributor so...

There is still time to participate. Nominations are being taken through August 16! Voting for the finalists runs from August 17 - 31. Winners will be announced September 4!

Being Nice

I have opened up my comment section (for a trial period). So the lurkers and the complainers can come by and say hi too! Of course I would caution those who would use the NEW choices to NOT click the Anonymous radio button. This is my blog and I reserve the right to be a complete asshole whenever I want. That includes deleting asshead comments and spam. So don't come looking at me all fucked up if I decide to circular file things that are just not appropriate.

And for the record, I would not consider myself an asshole for deleting any comment that starts with "anonymous said..." on GP!

Nothing Again?

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New things

Hey all! Brainz Mc Smarty here!

I know I do not post all that much here. But I have so many other interesting things to do! Which is why I am here today!!! I have been testing out a new chat client called Qnext. It is a universal chat program that is supposed to communicate with the popular chat networks that are on the internet! Is that not the coolest?

It is capable of Instant Messaging with MSN, Yahoo!, AIM, ICQ, Jabber, Google Talk and IRC!

Oh! It has too much stuff for me to describe here! If you are interested in learning more the web page is Qnext

If find that just reading or surfing is not enough for you and chatting is your thing, get on down with the program. You can chat with he that is we by sending your contact information to one of the following addresses:
thesecondsixtyeight@gmail.com
nephewlou@yahoo.com
And also let me know by leaving some word in the comment section so I will look for you.

I have also been playing with the new Yahoo Messenger Beta! That is pretty nice too!

Well, I have to go now! See you all out and about!

Post 300!!!!!

I have decided to officially introduce you all to the crazed cast of characters that make up A Dyssturbed Mined. It is said that we are all many people. Well here are a bunch of the ones that you all meet every day.

The Second Sixty-Eight

"Just one quote? Shoot I got far too much material to do just one!"

Characteristics:

• Good Natured
• High Spirited
• Megalomaniac
• Cocky (somewhat)
  
• Silly
• Outrageous
  

Profile: King contributor to A Dyssturbed Mined. Most likely to post for a reaction. Most likely to say something to create a reaction. Most likely to succeed! Most likely to...

Brainz Mc Smarty

"What's wrong? I can probably help with that!"

Characteristics:

• Genius
• Hopeful
• Selfless
  
• Big picture thinker
• Problem solver
• Tech support
• Computer geek
  

Profile: The brains of the outfit. Most likely to play with the layout, features or read the manual. Doesn't post much but makes every thing look real good!

Mr. Suave Hoeman

"How are ya panties?"

Characteristics:

• Charming
• Romantic
• Hyper sexualized
• Horny
  
• Somewhat vain
  

Profile: Most often the fella posting or commenting at The Pussy Chats. Or dealing with Haremites in general. Also the one most likely to get us in trouble with The Wife.

That Biker Dude

"A Box? How the hell you gonna try and put me in a box? There are only two kinds of boxes I like! Ones that contain gifts to me and ones I leave gifts in!"

Characteristics

• Freedom loving
• Rebellious
• Sarcastic
• Somewhat scornful (check the almost hidden sneer)
• Smart ass

Profile: The one most likely to talk shit to ya if shit talking is what you are into! And the one most likely to fuck with you if you aren't! Just because...

The Dark One

"You see what I am looking at. I see what I am looking at. Don't pretend you don't know what is on my mind already if you are tempted to ask!"

Characteristics

• Goal oriented
• Unapologetic
• Impatient
• Cynical
• Elitist
• A touch arrogant
  
• Doesn't suffer fools well

Profile: Known to rear his head when pissed off is the mood. But then again, you started it!

Usama Bin Louie

"Pull up ya damn pants ya nasty little gay fucker!!!!"

Characteristics:

• Mean
• Conservative
• Judgmental
  
• Mean
• Evil
• Anti-social
• Military freak
• Gun junkie
• The Protector
  
• Just don't give a fuck!!!!!

Profile: This is the guy who pops out when The Dark One is too nice a guy for the situation. Will bust a cap off in that ass. May even care if there is collateral damage. Most likely to hatch a terrorist plot against clueless Hip Hop generationers who think that WEARING clothes is not too stylish. Will hit a woman (if she threw the first blow...). Doesn't start things, but more than willing to bring the finishing move! Has only been seen when life or limb have been at stake or The Wife needs a firm presence to snap her back to reality.

He is so mean in fact that he wouldn't even let me post a picture! Tha Bastid!

Um... Usama here. That Sixty-Eight is a damn liar! I gave his punk ass a damn picture! I was even smiling real purty in it too! That fucka just didn't wanna admit that the scanner is fucked up and that Mr. Smarty Pants ass Brainz ain't figured out what the problem is yet! I may have to bitch slap Brainz until the scanner is working. Then I will post you my purty picture mydamnself!
And I don't know why Brainz didn't use a black background to match the blog on the placeholder. I wonder about him sometimes...
Usama OUT!

Uh yeah. Nice seeing ya Mr. Louie!
Fa real though. If y'all happen to meet him, and he is smiling... Y'all betta run! Cause I guarantee you the rest of us already did!!!

Memorial Madness: The Incident

Okay. The last installment involved the background material for THIS story. A short recap involved the devilish work of Shitake. That's a sliiiicckkkk one... But, onward... If you haven't read Memorial Madness: The Background, STOP! CLICK! READ! COME BACK!
I don't want you all lost as to why things are happening.

The day of the memorial arrives. The Wife had scooped me up the day before to reduce the amount of last minute rushing. So we were in chill mode for most of the morning. While doing breakfast, I happened to spy the time. So I asked her "What time is the service?" She looked at me and then the clock and said "Yeah, I know. We got plenty of time. It starts at 1:30. Well the family hour starts at 1:00 and the service starts at 1:30. But I want to arrive fashionably late so I don't have to deal with the BS that I am sure will be going on! I just know something is gonna happen. I am trying to give THEM the benefit of the doubt. But I ain't breaking bread with them fools afterward. I just can't deal with that mess!" So I said "Fine with me. I arrive when my driver does and leave when she goes! I don't know most of them folk anyway."

So we had our dressing, leaving and arriving plan set. We chillaxxed a bit more and then got dressed. I told The Boy that I would die before letting him be seen wearing a damn clip on tie while I still breathed. So tie tying class started. And I fear he needs a bit more practice. But out the door we go. On the way we were discussing what we might be expecting and the various devilment that Shitake had been engaging in up until that moment.

We arrive at the Jehovah's Witness hall where Gramma and Aunt Sweetie were members. Timing was impeccable. We arrived at about 1:25. We walked toward the entrance and spied all of the teenagers of the clan gravitated to each other talking about nothing. When we see Cousin CW, whose hot young body had turned into a bit larger middle aged version, headed toward us (sigh). As she is passing around hugs and greetings, she says, "It ain't happy in there. Be warned! They done started up already!" "Already!?!?!?" (Me and The Wife in stereo) CW - "Yep. Brace yourselves..." So me and the wife hover for a minute to steel ourselves by chit chatting with CW and the teens. And In we go!

We walk in and The Wife scans around to find her mom or sister for seating. No luck since she didn't see her sister and her mom was already accompanied. There was an empty row behind her mom. But she decided against sitting there. Okay she said "Ain't no way I am sitting in the middle near the front." So we sit at the right side of the hall about mid way back. We finally see her sister in the same row as us in the center section. By this time the teens had all drifted in and found seats. The Boy (my son) sat next to Heracles by MIL. The Girl (my daughter) sat by Jackie-L on the opposite side from us. We noticed that Aunt Sweetie and her family were in the front row, center section. MIL was in the row behind her with The Law's daughters, Heracles and The Boy. The next row was empty. Scratch that. The Law walked in right then with his wife and sat there. We noticed that Shitake was over by Jackie-L holding Princess (Jackie-L's baby girl). Aunt C, looking remarkably like a thicker version of Shitake (but don't tell HER that) was also over on the far side.

So the service went fine as usual. The pastor, as always, took that opportunity to hold service up in there! And between my bouts of nodding out, I found him pretty amusing. Mostly because I always find it amusing when people use redundancies when they talk. You know like when my step-mom says sausage-meat (sounds like shashuh meat). His phrase was Bible-book. And he quoted many scriptures out of that Bible-book too! He even gave us the Jehovah's Witness version of Heaven. Which I thought not too bad. Maybe I will read one of those Watchtowers that get forced on me in the future... But I digress.

The first clue for me that things might go horribly wrong was when The Wife borrowed an obituary from the man sitting at the end of the row. She remarked on the generally shoddy quality of the work. We (Me, The Wife and Annie Oakley) had done them for the last three funerals so it got critiqued, heavily. The first GLARING omission was when the son-in-laws were mentioned, her father wasn't in the list. He had passed on years earlier and apparently was out of mind (uh huh...) What I didn't know at the time was that Cousin Queen V (The Law's daughter, CW's sister) was visibly upset at the OTHER GLARING OMISSION. That being that The Law's wife wasn't mentioned either. His VERY MUCH ALIVE AND IN ATTENDANCE WIFE!!! And the wife was having a bit of sport at the part about Gramma being an exemplary mother and taught her children morals and such. This ALMOST made the wife snort out loud while the pastor was still doing his thing. But she listened when me and Cousin Glowworm told her to behave in stereo. A prayer and a few final words later the service ended! I even had my post half written at that point, especially about the Bible-book...

THEN ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE!!!!!

I started to look around for everybody who needed greetings from me. Then I notice The Law grab his wife from behind by the shoulders and force march her the hell up out of the hall. A man who I can't ever recall seeing before was hot on his heels saying stuff like "...dinner on my mothers memorial day" "Why she gotta be here?" "...Don't trust her!" as they went past my amazed eyes. Oh, this man, by the way, was Uncle Nutzo. Apparently he decided to wait exactly ONE second after the pastor finished to start his shit with big brother! I was starting to think how fucked up that shit was. Until he tried to take a swing at The Law! Right in the damn doorway!

:: Now this is the part where everything got confusing. Please bear with me if it gets confusing. ::

So Nutzo tries to start a fight with The Law because he had enough sense to leave instead of having some mess going on during the service. Bedlam! A couple of people grabbed Nutzo. He attempted to fight his way out. Was very close to getting the life stomped out of him by an off duty cop. THEN! MIL, who has numerous medical problems, decides to go get her little brother to try to get him to calm down. He bumps into her! Nearly knocking her over. So Heracles sees this, hulks the fuck out, off comes the shirt (I still don't remember what he was wearing aside from his uncle beater). He stands in front of her and dares Nutzo to touch her again! At the same time The Wife was counting her peeps to see where we were. She sees the bump. She yells to The Boy "Get your grandma! NOW!!!!" So my lazy ass son shocks the shit out of us by LEAPING over the chair and gets behind Heracles and in front of MIL. Also heard in a very proper and well enunciated bit of English was "Don't let Annie Oakley get to her truck!!!" Yeah, a white dude, Big M. You may or may not remember him from bike class... By this time I am starting to think of the most efficient way of murdering off Nutzo because this shit was going too damn far.
:: Hey, my wife and kids were up in there! Sue my ass! BTW I had settled on a hand over mouth and one over nose and a big bear hug. My feet never moved though! You'd be proud! ::

AT THE SAME TIME on the OTHER side of the hall. Apparently Shitake, still carrying Princess, decides to get all up in the shit! So she is heading toward the shit right? She basically runs up on MIL. She sees her and the next thing EVERYBODY sees is MIL's cane get raised HIGH up in the air! No. She wasn't just gonna hit her ass. She was about to bring the smite down up in that piece! Then Annie Oakley shakes the hell up outta her shoes! Meanwhile The Girl was walking up behind Shitake to rescue Princess because it seems she had taken a blow or two in the conflict and Shitake's grip was slippin'. Now somebody later mentioned that Shitake took a swing at The Girl. Fortunately The Girl didn't notice that. Her evil ass WOULD have retaliated. And you know how mothers are with their babies right? And you all have been here long enough to know that The Wife is AKA Miss Whoopabitchorthree. Had either of my kids been hit that damn joint might be a smoking pile of rubble at this point with a community of Jehovah's Witnesses wondering what they had done to deserve having their hall treated so...

:: Before I go on I will have to do a quick tactical analysis. ::
MIL had probably the largest contingent of supporters. She had three grand children, Two daughters, one son-in-law, one son-in-law to be (so I just found out...), three in-laws and one niece from the seemingly forgotten husband's family (tha gangster ones...), about five or eight friends (I lost count), Jackie-L (who is staying between her and Aunt Sweetie's house after the argument), probably The Law's daughters Queen V and CW, their sons, and possibly Aunt Sweetie's hubby and grand kids.
:: Tactical Analysis over... ::

Now after a minute or two of struggle and strife, they manage to get Nutzo, Shitake and Aunt C outside. Remember Aunt C was under the influence of Shitake. Things seemingly break up. Or so I thought. I linger around inside before going outside. I find The Wife and Annie Oakley attempting to restrain MIL from heading to what appears to be ANOTHER fight! They were alternately trying to calm her down and cuss her out because she was still dead set and determined to get her smite on! AND Joan Cleaver, a very right and respected lady (imagine Maya Angelou mixed with June Cleaver) decides to go and "... have a word with this Shitake". Her son had to grab her and hold her in place. Can you see it two ladies, one in her 50's and another in her 70's hobbling down to get the way to smite a person or two? Yeah...

Now by this time, Annie Oakley HAD gotten to her truck. So she was armed. And pissed! And barefoot. She shook outta the shoes when the shit jumped off inside. So she was doing the bulk of the cussing while The Wife did most of the calming. Until she had to act like the mother. She later realized that her and her sister were gonna be in trouble for cussing at their mom when MIL finally calmed down and remembered.

Yes, I did say there was a fight going on. Apparently Shitake and Queen V aired their venom and it turned into fisticuffs. Sisters got involved. It turned into a Tag team match. Shitake and Aunt C on one side and Queen V and CW on the other. Now the teens were all in agreement until they realized that their mothers were going at it. Then they started beefing. So now Aunt C's son was about ready to scrap with Queen V's son. While Shitake's son and CW's son were about to get into it.

ALL that broke up when the Ecorse cops rolled up into the parking lot! And they rolled up fast. I guess they mean mugged folk hard enough for cooler heads to prevail. They circled the parking lot once. They stopped to talk to the guy off duty who was at the service. I guess they were convinced that every thing else was cool and rolled out without getting out of the squad car.

This is where I will end my tale. I think everything took less time to happen than it did for you to read this. And I know I am leaving out many details. But I think you have spent enough time on these folks!

Memorial Madness: The Background

As you all know, funerals tend to make for the best of stories! They are even more story worthy when you got a bit of dysfunction in the family.

This weekend was no exception! My wife refers to her mother's side of the family as "a bunch of educated fools".

The Cast:
Gramma: The Departed.
The Law: Oldest child and one most likely to get the other siblings to behave.
Aunt Sweetie: Second child, one of the nicest folk you wanna meet.
MIL: Fourth child. Mother of my queen.
Aunt C: Reportedly the meekest of the clan.
Nutzo: Baby boy of the clan.
Shitake: from Shit, meaning shit and Ake meaning one who starts. Okay I didn't wanna say shit starter the whole damn post! The baby of the clan...
Annie Oakley: The Wife's sister
Herkales: Annie Oakley's son
And... Aw hell. I will introduce any others as the story goes...

Anyhow. This little story starts when Shitake goes to The Law's house and complains that Gramma can't stay with him and his wife and HER father. So The Law's wife packs Gramma's bag and sends her on her way with Shitake. Of course Shitake was never one to take care of Gramma. As a result Gramma ends up in an apartment in a senior center alone. This was back in June.

Gramma has been known to be a bit hard to live with. Was somewhat paranoid and had a bit of dementia. So she frequently had episodes where she thought folk were pumping poisonous gas into her place. As I said, a bit hard to live with. So Uncle The Law was likely doing his best to make her as safe and comfortable as possible having folk around to see about her and being friendly faces. So Shitake didn't make a difficult situation any better.

About a week and a half ago, Gramma was found in her apartment having passed on a day or two prior. This led to Shitake blaming The Law for killing their mother by kicking her out of his house. It is also believed that Shitake gaffled up the estate by doing the old sneak and sign. Much like she did when their father passed (she got a new car out of that). AND she moved herself back in with her ex-hubby. This prompted an argument between her and her daughter Jackie-L (who was living there already), cause they can't stand each other. Jackie-L moved out and took the baby with her.

Now Shitake is a sly one. She had been talking in the ears of Aunt C. and Nutzo. They got things twisted in their heads. So they were kinda pissed about some things. Things that went even beyond their usual dysfunctionalism. Aunt Sweetie's husband The Electrician told me that they had given Shitake money to pay for obituaries. She thought the money was an old debt from someone who owed Gramma. Then she complained that she didn't know how much printing costs (full color). Then she claimed that she gave the obits to Nutzo who didn't answer or return folks calls. So they had trouble getting the obit to the pastor before the service for familiarity sake. And since Nutzo never brought them, they had to improvise. This led to black and white obits printed on thin paper (2 sided). AND Shitake also was the one who compiled the info. She left out the deceased father of The Wife AND the very much alive wife of The Law. AND The Law's wife or her family were responsible for making the food for the meal after the service.

Okay, I gotta jet. But look for the conclusion in Memorial Madness: The Incident.
I will pre date that post so that when I do it, it will show up under this one so you don't get the story out of order! I will post it tomorrow.

Of course if I remember anything else I will of course edit this post too!

Good'n To Come!

I got a real mutha fa ya yeah!!!! As you know, funerals make for the best stories at times! For good or for bad! Well, I got one for ya ass!

Be sure to tune back in later. I am gonna try to finish it before y'all get off of work!

Flashback Friday: Forgotten Video

Yeah, I know Diva, but you ain't using it no more!

I was moved to do this post because a certain blogger from Cleveland always reminds me of this video. I think I shall drop a quote from this song in all of my comments at her spot from now on...

#%#$%@%$#%#$!!!!!

I would really like to know who the fuck stole the damn power cable to the damn street light. It is dark den a muhfugga out this bitch!

I probably will find out tomorrow what the deal is...

Fuckin' boosters!

I swear.

Extremely late term abortions should NOT be illegal.

Extremely late meaning after a few birthdays have happened.

World Premiere

It has been mentioned on a couple of occasions that there are things that I have written that would go good on a certain blog. I couldn't help but to agree.

Me being the glory hound I am I had to jump at the opportunity when an invite came my way.

So I shall be making my World Blogging Premiere on The Pussy Chats come midnight!

My first contribution will be one that I did about two and a half months ago. Lovebabz thought it would go good over there, so I will introduce the madness to some others who aren't yet aware...

No News Day

Bin Laden Found!!!

CAIRO, July 30 (Reukers) - The search for reputed terrorist leader Osama Bin Laden has ended today. It appears that five women from the United States and England have hunted down and found the fugitive who has eluded the powers that be for years.

The five women got involved when one of their friends called them to vent. New wife Nikki Bin Laden had some suspicions that her husband was having an extra-marital affair. So she called several of her friends to talk and vent her frustrations. What happened next was a scene right out of a movie. Several of her friends volunteered to help find out what was going on. So Nikki paid for airline tickets for them all to meet her. After a few days of investigating, the sneaking husband was found in Cairo, Egypt. He was found in the company of Nefer Larouche, a french model and actress.

Apparently the ladies had him under surveillance outside the Cairo Hiltonian. Several tips led them to this particular place. And their stakeout was born. They managed to sneak into the hotel and gathered at the door to his room.

A former special forces drill sergeant was witness to what happened next. "I saw a bunch or women gathered around a door. They looked REAL serious. They breached that door like one of my old training units! I wish I had them in Iraq! That was A-1 asskicking right there!"

Jazzy, 36, Jersey City, New Jersey said, "Yeah son! He thought he was slick! But we hid in the bushes until he came back. Caught him all hugged up. So I sent the pics to my homegirl so she could come and bust him! I got the pictures on my Crackberry! Wanna see?"

Lee, 38, Atlanta, Georgia had this to say, "We bust that sucka in his grill with some bricks, that's what happened!! Knocked one of his teeth out!"

Jaila B, 35, Atlanta, Georgia added, "It's really no surprise. I told my girl that she had to perfect her tongue lashin' skills but she wouldn't hear of it. Now look at this madness."

Carlene, 24, London, England stated, "I was gonna just make up a bunch of stuff to embarrass him in front of that chick. But when I saw him all nekkid with her I said "You have exactly two seconds to explain before I give you a vasectomy""

Ms B, 35, Brooklyn, New York quipped, "My BFF is so open off this good for nothing dude that its just ri-damn-diculous!! And you know what else? He corny as hell! He was laying up in there just playing with Nefer's titties! I mean, how ain't that corny as shit? He probably thought it was clever or something! He NEEDED to be busted!"

"What the hell kinda name is Nefer anyway? I am with my homegirl. That shit was corny!", stated Jaila B.

An animated Lee added, "Yeah I said it! I'm saying it loud and proud on eyewitness news! I got my girl's back all day! Ride or die, ya heard me!? He better watch his back, because we gonna shank that fool and finish him off next time! She told him about fooling around wit Nefer! You gonna pay, dawg!"

Another witness, LL Cool L, had these thoughts, "Man! Them women were serious! I almost got ran down! But I saw that look before and knew to move out of the way!" He had this to say regarding the capture, "Who knew it would go down like this? But then again, they got Al Capone on tax evasion..."

A third witness, R. Jizzy, stated "Man, I am glad I was here with my boo! I would hate to get caught up like that! I ain't never seen a man that tall cry like that!"

It seems that the $25 million reward is just icing...

But when questioned about the potential windfall, the ladies had this to say.

"Why you gotta be all up in my financials?", said Carly.

"Well, me and my girl Stella figured we would go to NOSEYVILLE and "conversate" with a overly curious person or two...", said Jaila B.

"You tryin' to be down? You wanna ride my jock? Huh? Why you gotta try to ride me like a rodeo show?" Said Jazzy.

"If you see me ridin' fly. Lookin' like a rich bitch, don't hate!!!", said Ms. B.

"Nefer you better be glad you ran! Cuz we got something for dat ass! And we know where you live! You best grow some eyes in the back of your head, ya chickenhead!! Um. And I thought I would take a little time off from the job. This backlog of blanket orders is getting outta hand!"

Breaking News!

Bdogg the second made his world premiere on August 2 at 11:00 p.m in Detroit, Michigan. He weighed in at a healthy 6 pounds even. And lays a full 18 inches long!

Baby, glowing mother and proud papa are doing well!

This little event has pushed me into a new title bracket. Mom too. We both now have the Great designation attached to our previous titles.

Congrats Nephew!

Flashback Friday: High School Skinny

This little Flashback Friday is about me. Back when. Back in the day. Back...

Now this first shot is of me being all "High School Skinny". Yeah, I know. I wasn't exactly skinny. But hey, haven't we all gained an ounce or three?

Now don't get into the 20 million questions about my steelo. Remember it was 1985. The decade that immediately followed the 1970's! Wow! that Adidas shirt was rather young! But it was descriptive because well... A.D.I.D.A.S. And it was my favorite shirt because of that... And yeah that was indeed a web belt. And I didn't shake the big ass glasses until much later! And I have absolutely NO idea why my right hand was perched where it was... Where is my damn time machine!?!?!

This next shot is of me and a few admirers. This was my high school graduation party.

And this was the same day as the picture above. So don't think that this was my favorite outfit or anything... I believe that we were looking at a gift or card that was brought by those to my immediate left in the picture (with heads...)
Bonus! The beauty to the immediate right is also known as Six! But don't tell nobody!!!!

I am sure you all recognize this as the REQUIRED pose if your parents were paying for the pictures! And mine were!

Yep. Me being all studious and such. I absolutely did not want to take this picture. Well I didn't mind taking the picture. I just didn't wanna have it take up valuable portraits in my package! I got outvoted 1 to 1. Hell, mothers have big votes! And she enlisted auntie and grandma and dad kinda help.
Just as well. What the hell do teenagers know about the world anyway?

I call this one "The World Is Mine". This is the one that took up the BIG picture in the package. And is sitting on mom's mantle as we speak!

This here was my favorite of all the pictures in the proof book. See. Look at him. All cheezin'. Thinking about scholarships and careers and such. Wondering why everyone wasn't looking and feeling as wonderful as he was! Ah the days...



This little number is entitled Swave and Deboner!

To quote Riley Freeman:
"That's right people. I know. Amazin' ain't it? So Young. So Young!"
Or to paraphrase Rick James:
He was only seventeen! Seventeen! But he was sexy!!!

You know looking at this I often wonder why the Ladies didn't Love Cool Lou?
But then I remembered the first pic on this post...

I was gonna end this post with another photo. One that shows me holding it down for my beloved Pilots in athletic competition! Tell you about me getting my Varsity Letter! But alas, I could not find it...
So I was gonna come up with a substitute.

• I was gonna post one from a group shortly after I started college. But sorry, you don't get the bad haircut picture!
• Maybe one from the beginning of the 90's. But I would have to talk smack about the nephews in the pic with me... Alas not!
• Or another from that time. When me and The Wife were good friends and former co-conspirators. And the Girl Child would have been it too. VERY early in her life... But no.
• I thought about posting the picture that my wife hates most in the world. But no use in ruining this post for her after all the goodness from above. (I better go shave now...)
• Or I could have went with one of the ULTRA RARE photos of me on a dance floor (I am way too cool for that, until she pouts), but nope!
• I even thought about posting a picture of my parents that was taken the day after my arrival on the planet. Show you all where this goodness comes from... But that would be sneaky. And dad still fights better than I do. Even with his bad back!

So I end this one picture short. But I cannot keep it in the drafts one day longer. So I press on.

By the way. I got my Varsity Letter doing the Backstroke! Y'all marinate on that...