Sometimes I think there are too damn many feminine products.
Why you ask?
A dramatization:
The Wife
TSSE
:: Cell phone ringing ::
Hello?
Hi honey! Where are you?
Walking through SuperMart.
Really? Good!
Why? What's up?
I am starting to cramp up.
Uh oh...
Yeah.
Glad I worked you out last night! Probably started it again huh?
You silly man!
You need me to grab something?
Yeah.
Drugs?
No. I got them.
What you need?
I think I am outta pads.
Okay...
Could you pick up some?
Sure.
Thank you!
What kind you use?
Whatever you bring.
*crickets* (in case y'all are wondering, I stole some of them crickets from Ladylee...)
Whatever...?
Yeah.
You do realize that "Whatever" is one of those magic words that ensure you don't get what you want right?
I really don't care...
Stop! Lemme go over there now and you can help me out with this...
:: strolls over to the femmes only stuff ::
DANG!
What?
I just found the Wall O' Pads!
You silly...
Maybe, but do you have an IDEA of what you might want?
Just some pads.
There are like a fintillion things up here. You just want me to grab anything? Damn this is a big ass wall...
Man...
Okay, we got Always, Carefree, Kotex, Playtex, Stayfree and Tampax and the store brand...
They can keep them damn tampons. I don't mess with those. Not what I like going up there...
Okay!
And what are Carefree?
Panty liners.
Uh. NO!
Okay. That narrows things down a bit...
Good.
So you want: Ultra-thin, Regular, Maxi, Super Maxi, Ultra Maxi Overnight, Wings, No Wings? What you want?
Ultra thin.
Wings or no wings? Damn these mufuggas can fly now?
Whatever, wings. No they can't fly silly!
Okay. Now which brand?
You choose. I don't care.
Okay. But you know I am cheap as hell. The lowest bidder wins with me. Like the Army.
Imma hit you...
Okay! Okay! I got ya! One pack or two?
One is fine if you bring them today. If you are gonna keep standing there then I will probably need two by the time I finally see you!
He he he... One other thing...
What is it man?
Chocolate? Potato chips?
Hell yeah. BOTH!
See ya in 10!
Happy Birthday #54 to ME!
2 months ago
25 comments:
see that is what i am talking about. a man that will go into the store and buy your woman some pads is a good man. i know some men who dont play that shyt,lol.
thats love right there.
lmao off at you about the wall. theres is so many damn pads to choose from even i get confused myself,lol
You are a brave man, not many men would do that. Good on ya. But yeah there are so many different choices it's ridiculous.
This dramatization was actually tame in comparison to the real thing. I was cuttin' up bad that day. I think I had more than one lady entertained after they got over their skepticism at my presence...
lmao u are silly as shit!!!
But that was cute. Even I stand in that isle and be like damn when trying to find what my daughter wants. me no likey pads so i dont fool with them. I just knew u were wondering so I shared...bite me.
That is so funny............
LOL @ "I just found the Wall O Pads"
[RiDAMNdiculous] the amount of options we woman have for sanitary napkins these days huh?!?!?!
And you didn't even complain about it... :-)
How tweet!!!!
@ J - "I just knew u were wondering so I shared...bite me." Oh I see. Pre-emptive strike huh?
@ Laughter - So I have helped you fulfill the destiny of your name!
@ Ms. B. - No use complaining. Besides they weigh a lot less than a bag of huggies and some cans of Enfamil...
The only thing you get more choices in is...potato chips and candy bars! See the correlation...
Ah this brings back a memory.
Years ago I had a girlfriend that asked me to snatch up some feminine napkins while I was at the store. That meant two things. One - I wasn't gonna be having sex that day, and two - I would have to try and figure out what to buy.
Not knowing anything about said product, I bought the big pillow Kotex kind.
When she reached in the bag and pulled the box out, she looked at it for about 20 seconds, placed her hand on her hip, shifted her weight to on foot, smirked a little and then said, "Terry! I'm on my period. I don't have a large sucking chest wound."
It was then I found out that there was a difference.
I offered to get a pair of scissors and cut them in half.
She hit me in the head with the box.
LOL I actually helped a man out in the store last week. The look on his face was priceless.
Missed the last post...HAPPY ANIVERSARY!
"Chocolate? Potato chips?"
U GIT MADDD points for knowing the IMPORTANCE of BOTH - specially at That time;-).
I left a comment this morning! Blogger must've ATE IT!! *hard frown*
Man, she musta really needed some pads if she didn't specify. However, I think you would've gotten the *gas face* if you brought home that cheap thick stuff. LOL!!
None of my mens have ever done such a chore for me. Go YOU!
And you even remembered the essential sides: chocolate and chips. OH JOY!!
Women NEED options...especially at that time of the month!
Kudo's to you for knowing about the snack foods!!
See, you are a sweety! I'm with Dreamy, that's love right there, and the suggestion of chocolate or chips, PRICELESS, LOL!
LOL...this sounds like the time I sent ______ to the store. At least you manned up and didn't keep calling from different aisles because you didn't want anyone to see you in THAT aisle! lol
@ Terry - I think the visuals to your story are just as entertaining as mine.
@ Southern - You are a saint for helping that poor man. No woman should ever send a man without SPECIFIC product information. Especially since it won't make us a bit of difference after we leave the register.
@ Cap - Yeah. She mentioned it a few times about "something about that combination of chocolate an salt is just..." so sometimes I get slick with it and get the chips Buy one get one free and a box of Hershey's Pot Of Gold. That way there is enough for me too! But she get the solid chocolate and the first shot at the caramels.
@ Oldgirl - Boo to Blogger for censoring your communications with me! She did really need the pads, but she is always "whatever" when I ask what she wants. Knowing darned well that she don't mean that and is the picky one! But I am sure you will find a dude who will do the same for you. And if he is reluctant, I will school him for ya.
@ Tommie - I ain't mad about the options but GOOD LAWD!!! On the snack foods, not everything you ladies say to us bounce off our foreheads...
@ Miz - Yeah. She got me, but good!
@ Diva - Not only did I man up, I stood in front of that wall like Patton in front of that flag! Ready to launch the hell and fury against any pad that dared step outta line!
LOL @ this exchange. I always wonder why women don't stock up on that stuff. You know you gonna need it. LOL
So true...
I love you for mentioning both chocolate AND chips! You get madd kudos for that one.
I love you too for appreciating it! I am gonna have to figure out what to do with all the kudos points!
Damn! I remember when my mom would send me to the store for pads & douches. I used to hate that shit.
Luckily I have only had to buy my wife pads like 3 times in 9 years.
Too funny!
Bygbaby
Lol...not that is LOVE!!!
@ Byg - but you gotta admit that it is different buying for the wife than for mom. For wifey you can say "At least I ain't buying diapers", if somebody looks funny. With mom it is just straight embarrassing.
@ The Addict - Ah yea...
@ Rashan - why do men run outta toilet paper? - u know u'll need that TOO! stock UP!! ....*raised brow*....
LOL!
I have to laugh at GROWN folk who still get embarrassed by REAL LIFE Shyt! My DAD never had a problem getting pads any more than he had getting pampers or toilet paper or any other NON-SEXY needs that LIFE requires! jeez....
I always hated it when my mother and later my sister would be looking all pitiful and send me to the store looking for their products. I always felt like I was walking around with a marching band of flaming queens dressed in skimpy spandex with a huge neon arrow pointing at me.
I'm glad those days are over although besides being confused as hell on what to buy it wouldn't bother me now.
Why do they make pads for thongs and with wings?
LOL @ the conversation.
Chocolate covered potato chips are the bomb!
@ Cap - The only time I run outta shit paper is when somebody else uses it up and don't say shit! Which irks the hell outta me! I have since learned about the backup in the dropout. Cause I ain't wiping with my hands!
@ Freaky - Chocit covered chips huh? Somebody done got to it already I see! I never understood having a pad and a thong on together. But then I guess they had to cater to the chyks who don't buy nothing else...
@ All - The wife says this was TMI and y'all all crazy for participating in this madness...
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