Flashback Friday: Tha Jackin'

Okay. I gotta take it back here. Since the title isn't being used (at it's original location) and I have been known to do a jack at a moment's notice... And I promised to do this one. So Freaky, here it is!

Harken back to yonder lazy, hazy days. To a time when life was simpler. When "Tha 'hood" was actually called "The neighborhood". When cars were big as hell. Before cable. When having a color TV was a big thing. When they made Floor Models. When the record player was a big ass piece of furniture that could double as a bed in a pinch... Okay, you get the idea. A long damn time ago! I was of the approximate vintage as this picture.

Okay. Look again. This is also the scene of the crime.

I was chilling out on the porch one summer's eve. I think it was around twilight and mom was chillaxin' up in the living room. I was sitting on the glider playing with my ubiquitous companion Hot Wheels^®. In other words it was a wonderful day for me. Then outta the blue this dude pops his ass up on the porch. I mean rolled his ass up the stairs, opened up the screen door and invited himself in! Tha nerve! Then to make matters worse this sumbitch grabs me up and bounces!

Now this particular dude was from down the street and "off his meds". Wait. Wait. Wait!!!! This is an old school story. Lemme back up and do it right. Dude was from the other block and that muthafucka was crazier than shit!!! Now about this time mom is doing a "What The Fuck!?!?!" After having done a "Who The Hell Is This Walking Up On My Porch". So y'all know she got that ass in gear and was calling down the Wrath of God and any neighbor in audio and visual range to full jack alert!

Meanwhile. I am grabbed up like a sack of damn potatoes and not appreciating this improv tour of the street (which I already knew well enough thank you!). So you know what went down! I wailed! This will be the only time in my life that I will pridefully admit that I screamed like a little bitch!!! And I did!!! So much to the point that the dude was got a little pissed. So he then mashed my mug in the wet grass while telling me "Shut up or I am gonna throw you on the freeway!" First off, I was a bit indignant about the face full of grass AND being wet up. Secondly, I knew where the damn freeway was from the crib and it wasn't far enough away for me to think he was bluffing. Third I had no desire to meet:
This
This
OR this on the freeway at high speed.

So what happened? I kicked my scream game up of course!!! Hell I ain't never been no damn fool! Needless to say this didn't go on much longer. Big A, my neighbor, was nearby and heard mom. So he ran the crazy sonofabitch down. I got rescued. I understand the crazy dude got the ass whoopin' of his life and a little time to contemplate his navel in peace. Fortunately for him, mom and dad were already splitsville. Dad would have sicked the python on him. The Colt Python!!! Ya heard!?!?!

Well that was my little encounter with almost becoming a statistic. But since he failed at getting me. You do! You can thank or curse him for that as you see fit!


It's Double Flashback Friday!!!
So you get a two in one today!

This one here is bonus footage from the album where the top picture is an occupant...
This is a picture of me and my dawgs. Really early on. I shall identify them by their code names. To the left is The Fifth Sixty-Eight. In the middle The Second Sixty-Eight. On the right The Fourth Sixty-Eight. As you can see, I had big plans for us even then! The world didn't know it wasn't ready!!!
The moms have been blurred to protect the shy and shame the nosy...

Damn. This means I can't jack Fuck It Friday for at least another week... Ah well...