::: Book warning ahead! Beware! :::
Yes that is right people! I am now officially skilled enough to go and get my cycle endorsement!!!! Man that was one trying experience! I never thought something would be so stressful and so much fun at the same time! BUT I made it!
Yesterday's blow by blow. I took it easy most of the day. The weather decided to make everyone sick to their stomachs. There were thunderstorms like we haven't seen in a year or two. Got so dark I had to turn lights on at 2 p.m. to see indoors. And it rained. And my wife called me in full stress mode.
Her: "If it is raining like this later they can just give me an "F" and hand me my waiver for the next class. I'm not riding in THAT!"
Me: "Woman CALM DOWN! We don't ride for three hours! This type of rain don't ever last for long! Besides we can ride REALLY slow in necessary!"
Her: "No Way! I ain't doing it!"
Me: "Three hours. You studied yet?"
Her: "Not really"
Me: "No matter. It will take about 15 minutes. And you know this stuff already anyway. Just relax. Besides if we screw it up, we get six more hours or riding time on somebody else's bike for free"
Her: "Yeah... I guess you are right"
Of course she called again when it stopped and started back up. And she called me to let me know there was a practice test online. Of course I was getting ready to leave at the time. But I did it anyway, breezed through the 48 questions in five minutes. I bounced!
Come test time, not only had the rain stopped but most of the course was dry by the time we arrived. We all felt good about that! The wife had trouble finding a good bike and ended up on the one she started the class riding. Her archenemy! I selected a model with a front brake so tight that I could have stopped a semi truck with it. Needless to say the test was gonna be "fun".
First test: The cone weave and U-turn. Not the good wide spaced one where you have some speed and is actually fun. But the close spaces one where you gotta go slow as hell. I ran over cone 4. Three point deduction. U-turn started good. Ground seemed to get close. Accelerate. Break. LINE! Whew! Dammit!!! Well I stayed in the box on the U-turn anyway.
Second test: Stop in a box. This test was really no problem for me. At least not for my skills. My bike however had a different idea on the matter. Remember the brake on this thing could stop a semi. So stopping the five or six hundred odd pounds of me and bike posed almost no problem. So I get the bike going. Estimate the proper distance to begin my stop. I apply the brakes. The front of the bike dived down like a mole digging a hole. So I let off and applied it again. Same thing. On the third application I got both brakes in on the act and stopped the damn bike dead in the middle of the box. Whew! But my stop must have looked like I was "hittin' switches" on the bike because I was starting to think the damn thing had hydraulics!
Third test: Shifting. Basically. Start. Shift to second. Shift back to first before cones. Make a tight 90 degree turn. My version as Start. Shift to second. Shift to second again. Shift to first RIGHT AWAY. Make a SWEET left turn!
Fourth test: Curve. Basically a left curve at a decent speed in a five foot wide lane. I started to go. My bike cut off. My instructor yelled "start it in first! You are in second gear." How embarrassing! I guess I didn't shift back to first from the last drill! Fortunately they didn't notice that part! Anyway, now I am pissed. I started half way through the approach area. With my "fuck it" attitude fully in place, I gunned the throttle and leaned too much. Just barely stayed in the lane. I touched the inside line just a bit. Not enough to lose points though...
By this time I am pissed.
Fifth test: Hard breaking in a straight line. This one was not problem for me. I got used to the hyper front brake and would take advantage of it's overzealous desire to do it's job. Start. Get to a decent speed. Wait for hand signal. Stop! In even less time than I imagined it would! I didn't hate the bike on that one!
Sixth test: Normal breaking in a curve. This test was the same as above but there was a curve involved and a five foot lane. So. Start. Get to a decent speed. Lean into the curve. Hand signal. Brake! Managed to keep the bike in the lane, as the exercise required. My foot however had a different idea. But my foot didn't have to stay in the lines.
After we all parked and got off of the bikes we discussed who had the most fuck-ups on the course. You never saw such a crunchy group of folks where it didn't involve bad restaurant service. Then the instructors passed out the scoring sheets! One dude who I just knew did better than me exclaimed "One point! I just made it!". That got me scared since the dude WITH prior experience JUST slid by. I got mine and looked at the paper (upside down) and saw a score. I said to myself "Okay, that was one drill worth of deductions, where is the final score?" Turns out that WAS the score! I got a damn 4 y'all!!!! The scoring was from lowest to highest. 12 being the highest score you could get without failing. Three points for the cone and one for starting off in the wrong damn gear. I ain't sure but I think I got the best score in the group! The wife who just KNEW she made more errors than everyone else got a 9! And she didn't even wanna ride until we got on the bikes the first day!
It was enough to make a muhfugga with no rhythm dance a damn jig! And I did! Twice! Just as we started to leave the course for the written test and the classroom, the rain started to come down. We got lucky! The second group lost three members because they dropped their bikes on the test. That is automatic failure. Not really fair but they said we ride rain or shine. I feel for them, but they get six more hours to practice on somebody else's bike for free.
The knowledge (written) test was no big thing. Fifty questions. Multiple guess in stupid-kinda-correct format. So basically it was a common sense test that most people could pass without having read the book too hard. I got 50 outta 50 in spite of the distraction. The wife 49 outta 50. She had a momentary brain fart and for some reason picked the kinda answer. The distraction you ask? The table kept squeaking while we were coloring in our answers. So it sounded like me and the wife were hittin' it in the back of the classroom. It took everything in me to keep from busting out in laughter in the (mostly) quiet room!
Hmmm... My cousin just got on with/started a chapter of the Rough Riders in the area. Hmmmmmmm....
Now to acquire a bike!!!
Happy Birthday #54 to ME!
10 months ago
7 comments:
Yeah, now the fun part. Gee…hum…Sport Bike, Touring, Cruiser…Harley, Kawasaki, Honda, Yamaha….oh that BMW is nice…gee…so many bikes…some many ways to spend a buck.
By the way I currently own a Suzuki Boulevard M109. I had it sold but reneged on the deal and kept it. I guess that means I must like the damn thing. Oh and when they say, "That's too much bike for you. You're a beginner" you say, "Da hell it is."
I learned a long time ago the worst thing you can do is buy an underpowered motorcycle and then get stuck with it for a few years. You can get killed on anything. The amount of c.c. don't matter.
It's never the power of the machine that drives your ass into the pavement, it's the way you operate the machine.
Ride safe and have fun.
Dude, you should do play-by-play commentary for a living! I think I just learned how to ride (the text version) from this post! YOU'RE THE BEST!
now thats what im talkin bout!!!! WHOO HOOO im proud of you!
Now um will wifey mind if u take me for a ride? u know...after u practice just a lil bit mo :-)
J: I don't know if she would mind. I do know she ain't getting on with me though. She of course will prolly be riding her own!
Ced: I do aim to please! I am just glad I didn't fall. At least yet. You know what they say, "Motorcyclists fall into two categories, those who have fallen and those who will fall."
Terry: You must have known what I was doing! I sure have been looking through the expanses of bikes. A lot more than I thought!
I am with you on the power thing. I was thinking about finding something small to start out on. A nice 250 or so. Two problems with that. All the cool ones are not in America except for one Korean brand marketed by two companies. And I need a FAST bike. If I decide to get on the freeway I need SPEED. These muhfuggas in Detroit are crazy on the freeway. A bike that can only do 80 is too slow. And I tend to buy things and keep them for a while. My Mustang is 13 years old. So I will get something that I will like for a while. That Monster 695 IS grabbing my eye...
::: Bowing down to Terry ::: Boulevard M109? You ARE the man! Bet you got a good pistol too!
Loved the commentary even though I know absolutely nothing about riding motorcycles and don't plan to be on one anytime soon.
Glad you passed - though I knew you would!
Now...I don't think I've ever met a brotha "with no rhythm"!!
I want a bike... just so I can tell people they can't ride with me! but.. I'm a punk... lol
@ Diva: Well if I am ever in the NYC area, I will have to give you a call just so I can make a damn fool of myself and prove it to you! Disclaimer! - I meant no rhythm in terms of dancing/being vertical. Trying to prove it to you horizontally could get us both murdaleted! And that part ain't true anyway...
@ MzCoko: One way to know if you want one for sure is to take the class! If you can get $25 bucks for the class you are in the house! It is a very inexpensive way to find out if you really want to do it. And you get to use bikes owned by the state. So if you drop them, you ain't gotta call ya insurance agent! If you do take it you will need the following equipment: DOT approved helmet. Ankle high (or higher) boots. Gloves (pretty much any kind that fit and allow for gripping). Long pants (jeans). A long sleeve shirt or a jacket. My wife was dead set against the idea of riding. She ended up in the class with me and her sister and her cousin and got HOOKED. Of the four of us she was the only reluctant one about class. She is the only one who passed with me.
And the class is a lot cheaper than the cost of a bike if you wanna find out if it is for you or not.
And stop being a punk!
Besides you put that kind of backage up in the air it will give me something to look "forward" to. My instructors kept telling me to quit looking at the ground. That will give me another target...
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