Random Rants, Raves And Other Things.

I am now less than 10 posts from #100! And I am hooked! So, what do you guys think would be a good one? I was thinking about going completely off character for this blog and posting a picture of me. Maybe. Depends on if I can pull the theme together. Lemme know what you think.

I now know that Hip Hop has ruined a generation. I may take some heat for saying this but... I don't understand the purpose of wearing clothes while trying to look like you aren't wearing them (saggin'). I do not undatstan why sistas fell into the whole low-rise jeans trap when they know good and well them things only work out if you have no ass. How the hell did 20 inch rims on a 20 year old car become the new fashion in automobile couture. Why dudes spend $500 on a car to get them somewhere and $1000 on sounds so everyone else can hear them arrive? And why do they get mad when they need a damn jump every other day? Or why get mad when the jalopy with the concert sounds decides not to leave the space it is parked in? Where the concept of something being "young" cropped up. In my day "young" was the way clothes were supposed to fit! Exactly when did the girls become the sexual predators and the boy become the prey? And when did cussin' down the entire block become an accepted practice for a 10 year old? Or for that matter dissin' adults with regularity? How is it that the biggest recording artists are the ones that glorify gangs or drugs or misogyny or crime or excessively wasteful spending?

Damn! I done got sleepy. Now I don't remember the rest of what I was gonna say... Ah well. I will come back to me and you will be the first to know about it.

My Eyes!!! What The Fugg?

Anybody who knows me in blogland also know that I will put a sista on blast quick as hell for claiming that most/all black men are gay or downlow. And I done had to blast some of my favorites too. Because such an attitude offends me since I am black, male and don't want anything to do with anybody else's dick!

That said...

What the damnfukkinhail is wrong with these dudes born roughly after I graduated from high school? That is 1985, or the stone age, for those uninitiated... I am riding in the car with the wife on yestereve. I see a group of young cats strolling their dumb asses in front of us. On the sidewalk, in the street, on folks grass. Completely ignoring the fact that even a little import car will make roadkill out of all but the biggest of nukkas. Eh-knee-way! I notice the stupidest of them all in the group. Or should I say the gayest? This tired rudy-poo ass muhfugga had the unmitigated gall to be walking down the damn street using his damn HAND for a belt! And not a good one at that! This sorry sumbitch had on some blue silky draws! I know this because his ENTIRE ass was OVER his pants. What I mean by ENTIRE ass is the same thing that Della Reese meant in Harlem Nights. The whole gotdayum thing! AND he had the nerve to have his wifebeater bunched up on TOP of his damn ass! WHAT. THA. FUCK. !?!?!?!?!?

I wonder if he or any of these other damn fools know how fruity that shit looks? I would expect that shit from say my dear departed Uncle (Aunt) Lynn (the most flamboyant muhfugga I EVA met). But from these little wanna be hoodlums who talk more shit than a cow farm and think they are harder than a safe door? Come on! Who the hell didn't give them the memo? Back when I was their age it was embarrassing for anyone to even know what color your draws were! You got mad if they even guessed "white" (95% chance) and got that shit right! Where is the self-respect?

I am pisstt. Now I am gonna have daymares about exposed Smurf ass and shit! To steal from one of my blog family. Hey dumb Smurf ass boy, go kill yaself!

...On A New Biker's Ass!

::: Book warning ahead! Beware! :::

Yes that is right people! I am now officially skilled enough to go and get my cycle endorsement!!!! Man that was one trying experience! I never thought something would be so stressful and so much fun at the same time! BUT I made it!

Yesterday's blow by blow. I took it easy most of the day. The weather decided to make everyone sick to their stomachs. There were thunderstorms like we haven't seen in a year or two. Got so dark I had to turn lights on at 2 p.m. to see indoors. And it rained. And my wife called me in full stress mode.
Her: "If it is raining like this later they can just give me an "F" and hand me my waiver for the next class. I'm not riding in THAT!"
Me: "Woman CALM DOWN! We don't ride for three hours! This type of rain don't ever last for long! Besides we can ride REALLY slow in necessary!"
Her: "No Way! I ain't doing it!"
Me: "Three hours. You studied yet?"
Her: "Not really"
Me: "No matter. It will take about 15 minutes. And you know this stuff already anyway. Just relax. Besides if we screw it up, we get six more hours or riding time on somebody else's bike for free"
Her: "Yeah... I guess you are right"

Of course she called again when it stopped and started back up. And she called me to let me know there was a practice test online. Of course I was getting ready to leave at the time. But I did it anyway, breezed through the 48 questions in five minutes. I bounced!

Come test time, not only had the rain stopped but most of the course was dry by the time we arrived. We all felt good about that! The wife had trouble finding a good bike and ended up on the one she started the class riding. Her archenemy! I selected a model with a front brake so tight that I could have stopped a semi truck with it. Needless to say the test was gonna be "fun".

First test: The cone weave and U-turn. Not the good wide spaced one where you have some speed and is actually fun. But the close spaces one where you gotta go slow as hell. I ran over cone 4. Three point deduction. U-turn started good. Ground seemed to get close. Accelerate. Break. LINE! Whew! Dammit!!! Well I stayed in the box on the U-turn anyway.

Second test: Stop in a box. This test was really no problem for me. At least not for my skills. My bike however had a different idea on the matter. Remember the brake on this thing could stop a semi. So stopping the five or six hundred odd pounds of me and bike posed almost no problem. So I get the bike going. Estimate the proper distance to begin my stop. I apply the brakes. The front of the bike dived down like a mole digging a hole. So I let off and applied it again. Same thing. On the third application I got both brakes in on the act and stopped the damn bike dead in the middle of the box. Whew! But my stop must have looked like I was "hittin' switches" on the bike because I was starting to think the damn thing had hydraulics!

Third test: Shifting. Basically. Start. Shift to second. Shift back to first before cones. Make a tight 90 degree turn. My version as Start. Shift to second. Shift to second again. Shift to first RIGHT AWAY. Make a SWEET left turn!

Fourth test: Curve. Basically a left curve at a decent speed in a five foot wide lane. I started to go. My bike cut off. My instructor yelled "start it in first! You are in second gear." How embarrassing! I guess I didn't shift back to first from the last drill! Fortunately they didn't notice that part! Anyway, now I am pissed. I started half way through the approach area. With my "fuck it" attitude fully in place, I gunned the throttle and leaned too much. Just barely stayed in the lane. I touched the inside line just a bit. Not enough to lose points though...

By this time I am pissed.

Fifth test: Hard breaking in a straight line. This one was not problem for me. I got used to the hyper front brake and would take advantage of it's overzealous desire to do it's job. Start. Get to a decent speed. Wait for hand signal. Stop! In even less time than I imagined it would! I didn't hate the bike on that one!

Sixth test: Normal breaking in a curve. This test was the same as above but there was a curve involved and a five foot lane. So. Start. Get to a decent speed. Lean into the curve. Hand signal. Brake! Managed to keep the bike in the lane, as the exercise required. My foot however had a different idea. But my foot didn't have to stay in the lines.

After we all parked and got off of the bikes we discussed who had the most fuck-ups on the course. You never saw such a crunchy group of folks where it didn't involve bad restaurant service. Then the instructors passed out the scoring sheets! One dude who I just knew did better than me exclaimed "One point! I just made it!". That got me scared since the dude WITH prior experience JUST slid by. I got mine and looked at the paper (upside down) and saw a score. I said to myself "Okay, that was one drill worth of deductions, where is the final score?" Turns out that WAS the score! I got a damn 4 y'all!!!! The scoring was from lowest to highest. 12 being the highest score you could get without failing. Three points for the cone and one for starting off in the wrong damn gear. I ain't sure but I think I got the best score in the group! The wife who just KNEW she made more errors than everyone else got a 9! And she didn't even wanna ride until we got on the bikes the first day!

It was enough to make a muhfugga with no rhythm dance a damn jig! And I did! Twice! Just as we started to leave the course for the written test and the classroom, the rain started to come down. We got lucky! The second group lost three members because they dropped their bikes on the test. That is automatic failure. Not really fair but they said we ride rain or shine. I feel for them, but they get six more hours to practice on somebody else's bike for free.

The knowledge (written) test was no big thing. Fifty questions. Multiple guess in stupid-kinda-correct format. So basically it was a common sense test that most people could pass without having read the book too hard. I got 50 outta 50 in spite of the distraction. The wife 49 outta 50. She had a momentary brain fart and for some reason picked the kinda answer. The distraction you ask? The table kept squeaking while we were coloring in our answers. So it sounded like me and the wife were hittin' it in the back of the classroom. It took everything in me to keep from busting out in laughter in the (mostly) quiet room!

Hmmm... My cousin just got on with/started a chapter of the Rough Riders in the area. Hmmmmmmm....

Now to acquire a bike!!!

Sometimes The Sun Shines...

Yesterday was the first test to determine whether I should really consider my bike obsession. The first of the two riding tests were yesterday. On a blazing hot 92 degree day. I was a little unsure of how I would do because I was getting most frustrated on some of the exercises the last two days. My wife and sis-in-law were feeling much the same way. Our three attitudes were different yesterday. Me: I am gonna pass this damn class dammit!!!! Wifey: I am proud I got it going and didn't drop the thing! SIL: I ain't never been this frustrated with ANYTHING ever! Of course I was feeling much like she did but I didn't want to hear myself SAY such things. Didn't want to talk myself into failure. I had been telling them both, and me too, not to worry because sometimes it clicks late and you may have a good day come test time.

Sooooo... An hour of practice on new and old stuff. Then BAM! They spring the test on us. U-turn-in-a-box. Actually TWO U-turns in a box. Only did this right in practice once! Test time I strayed across the line on the second turn a WEEEEE little bit. Second Part. Obstacle avoidance. Didn't have any trouble with this one after the instructor told me to slow down! Test time, nailed it! Third part, Hard braking. Had been stopping too long in practice. Test time, you would think I hit a wall as fast as that damn thing stopped. Fourth part. Cornering. This required a shift, 90 degree turn, acceleration, breaking and a 135 degree turn. A lot of stuff went into this one. This had me frustrated during practice about as much as them damn U-turns! I almost thought they were gonna throw me outta class during drills for this one. Test time, was the ONLY time I did the breaking portion correctly. Almost fucked the turn up thinking. So I told myself "Fuck it! Ride the damn bike already!!!!"

The test was scored from zero to a bunch. Zero was a perfect score, 15 being the highest passing score. My score, a three. Damn U-turn!!! One violation on the whole course! I almost think I can ride now! The wife passed on one violation too, although costlier. The SIL let frustration get the best of her. I know she got the skills. Missed passing by three. But hey, she can take that part of the class over for free. Six more hours of range time and retest and she is good. Not a bad deal!

Today the OTHER riding test and the written test. Wish me luck y'all!

side note: Glad I didn't take the Harley-Davidson class. They use the EXACT same instruction book and charge $300 more! I would have been one MAD brotha!

Marvin. If I May Borrow...

Make Me Wanna Holler. Smack folk upside the head!

Why?? Well in THIS particular instance I was called by a lady from a headhunter. A headhunter being a contract house that specializes in finding labor for someone else. Think Kelly Services if you still ain't caught on.

Anyway. She calls and asks if I would be interested in a position in Raleigh, N.C. Interested? I believe my actual reaction was to get a stiffy! I been trying to get to Charlotte or Raleigh/Durham for a couple of years now! I have the skills necessary to do the job. The desire to relocate and all that. Ain't even asking the REAL market rate! After all this getting me excited about a paycheck in a city I WANT to work in, she drops the bomb on me. She tells me the the employer wants me to have worked on the primary skill in the last year! Now that really began to piss me off because 1) It ain't my fault I ain't used it in a few years. If I could hire my damn self then I would not have been looking for work in the first place! 2) These assholes act like Cobol has changed since I graduated high school oh 20-something years ago! Man, Unemployment discrimination! Who'da thought? Oh well. One more incident of being the "other" candidate!

Seems my genius (literally) is being wasted on others.

My wife may get her wish. I am gonna get me a big ass air conditioner and a big ass oven and bake cookies!!!! She can do the cakes! Sounds like a "sweet" gig!

Women!

Women!
I am glad they are here.
Because I don't like looking (other) naked men.
And I cannot imagine WHAT I would be jacking off to if there were none...

Freedom Of Speech??

I was recently directed (blindly) to a site dedicated to downing ethnic folk. More important it was a... how can I say this delicately? A Nigger Hating site!

The only thing I gotta say about it is this: There are some dumb fucking white people in this world who have been scraped off the bottom of a shit stomper's shoe.

HOT Fun In The Summertime!!!

Oops. I forgot to mention something! Okay. I didn't forget, I just ain't posted since Sunday. But I am in Motorcycle Class!!!! Been in two sessions so far. The first day was classroom time. We went over basic terminology, parts, controls, the questions in the book and watched several videos. It was a loooooonnnngggg four hours. Glad that part is over. The second session was two hours of range time! It was a little daunting at first. But after about an hour of actually being in contact with the bike, I was flying the hell across the parking lot acting like I knew what I was doing. But anybody can look good in first gear! The experience was most like riding a two wheeled go-kart. Fast enough to be fun, but not too fast for safety. I just hope I don't mess up tomorrow.

There were a few things that did suck though. One is that everything below the neck had to be covered. Now I break out in a sweat just thinking about hot. So wearing boots (steel toe), socks, jeans, long sleeved tee, a do-rag, gloves and a helmet on a summer day in Detroit is NOT the most fun thing to do. Unless the bike is moving...
The second sucky thing was the bikes. Of course they are donated and surplus SOOOOO naturally they are not the most well maintained things around. My throttle was a bit eager from the weak spring and the damn gearshift stuck sometimes. Neutral REALLY pissed me off since I had to apply extra pressure on the sticky gearshift. Neutral is the soft half click between first and second gear. So a sticky gearshift made neutral nearly impossible to achieve without some luck.
The third is that one of my group mates had to leave class. She got too overwhelmed and they told her that skydiving may be a safer hobby for her to try. Sux too, cuz was kinda excited about the prospect of a little two wheeling. But she can always retake the class. Hell I would just because the money invested in equipment is worth spending another $25.

I am hooked! I got the bug! I always wanted to ride anyway. It is even more fun since my wife decided to take the class with me. It was a wonderful anniversary gift. Pass or fail, this is gonna be a wonderful and unforgettable experience. Unless one of us falls... Tomorrow, more range time! Friday anniversary sex! I am so excited that I am gonna go and hit the bike sites and maybe the lingerie sites after! Holla!

Fathers...And Their Day.

You know, I was gonna get all deep and talk about how fathers have to be the bad guy who in the end turns out to be the good guy. Maybe later!

Instead...

Happy Father's Day Dad! I had a ball talking to you for like half the day yesterday! Mostly about well...nothing. Nothing special anyway. Guns, stupid people, big butts, bigger boobs, men's toys, kids, health issues, life lessons and of course CARS!!!! You know, the usual. Can't be from Detroit and have nuts and not talk about cars ya know. And I do realize that men's toys is a redundancy after three of the four previous things mentioned, but the category DOES contain other stuff!
Love you man!

Happy Father's Day Baby Bro! You just managed to get in (under the wire, by a week) this year!!!! Finally in the club! If you read this, always remember one thing ya big bro has to say regarding kids. They are only good for two things, Torment and Entertainment. Cause if they don't have you trying to tear ya hair out, then you are laughing hysterically at their little asses! And you need to take it easy on the hair pulling. I don't need to explain that, just look at Dad's haircut...

Happy Father's Day Big Bro! Kiss the girl, punch the boy (but do it playfully), let them both know those were from me.

Happy Father's Day to my Road Dogs!!

Bhudda: Pass on the hugs to the three beauties you made, at least until I can deliver them in person.

ProphetJay: Halfway across the country is a long damn way. I feel for ya on that. Give them my love at the next convenient opportunity. BUT if their asses don't call TODAY cut them damn cell phones off and send they ass a calling card! No way I pay for a nationwide family plan and don't get no calls!

Air Force Pensioner: Half dead semi-goth looks and I-need-your-help-but-I-am-smarter-than-you phone calls aside, you still the man!!!

HomeBo: Glad to hear about the new arrival (she is 3, I been outta touch, sue me!) and glad to hear you are still fighting through the struggle. We gotta hook up soon and kills some beers.

Happy Father's Day to unmentioned Uncles, Cousins, Friends and Bloggers!

And a small shoutout goes to the single moms who gotta do double duty. But back the hell up! I am trying to get mine today! You got yours on Mother's Day. And got a lot more I might add...

Confessions Of An 80's White Boy

I was just screwing around reinstalling programs on my computer after my technical difficulties. After updating Media Player, I decided to listen to an internet radio station. What genre did I pick? You already know if you read the title. I was such a white boy in the 80's. Why? Check out the lyrics I have been singing along to for the last hour:
"you spin me right round baby, right round, like a record baby..."
"do you wanna ride in my Mercedes (girl)..."
"I wish they could all be California girls..."(yeah I know, but it was the David Lee Roth version)
"time passages..."
"who's gonna drive you home...tonight..."
"have to believe we are magic, nothing can stand in our way..."
"love lifts us up where we belong, where the eagles cry, on a mountain high..."
"moving sidewalks, I don't see under my feet..."
"I feel looooovvvvvveeeee..."

I think I will stop this one now. Because I am starting to feel shame... Okay not really. But they are playing too much crappy shit I don't know.

Confessions Of An Enraged Mind

I just read a very deep and thought provoking post from my homechick Nikki Indigo. I wondered aloud about what it said about me if Jack Bauer and Jonas Blaine were my favorite characters. I realized that both of these dudes are stone cold killers. Liable to bust a cap off in ya ass at moment's notice. One is a "true patriot" who will do ANYTHING to save the homeland. The other is a soldier who does the "wetwork" that most folk don't even imagine is going on. I admire these fictional dudes. Why? Because I am Chaotic Neutral of course! Haven't you been reading? And with that I have had the desire to bear my own arms. Folk are crazy these days! Besides it is the domestic terrorist's turn again. You know what THEY look like. And since I don't look that way, exactly, I am gonna be armed just the same as them. Better careful and seem crazy than to get victimized. But I ain't crazy. Just careful to the point of exclusion of all others. When necessary.

::: Tangent alert!!! :::
You know I hate when somebody comes up with some straight bullshit and throws me off my stride. Especially folk who try to rationalize their bullshit when we both know it ain't true. But I digress. I will now breathe deep, refocus my mind and attempt to finish this post without murdering someone.
::: End Tangent :::

In case you are wondering about them arms my enraged mind SUDDENLY got more interested in, Click Here

Embarrassing in Private

Sometimes we do things in private that we would be horribly embarrassed to do in front of others. Makes you wonder why we feel that way. For that matter, it makes you wonder why you DO such things in the first place. Is that inner child trying to escape? The inner crazy person escaping to the surface? I am not really sure which, but the inspiration for this post goes a little something like this...

TSSE is just sitting here blogging. A moment of wandering mind turns into a moment of wandering eye. That eye spy a fly. And a few buddies. So TSSE gets up and locates a discarded foam plate. Tsse starts dancing on the balls of his feet. TSSE goes all Andre Agassi (because he swung with attitude too) up in here on they asses. Whap! Boom! Pow! Right out the freakin' door they asses go! Suddenly a beat drops in the background. TSSE is tempted, even obligated to bust a lyric now! Like to hear it? Here it go:
This is the life of a
The life of a
FLY HITTA
FLY HITTA
FLY HITTA
Yyyyeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!

How do you embarrass yourself in private?

Some Shyt

You know it occurred to me that sex can be a costly thing if you are a guy on Viagra and you need a hooker to use it!

Spam is getting out of hand. These damn spambots aren't even creating subject lines that make sense anymore. Don't the dumbasses who USE the spambots realize I can fucking read?

It just occurred to me (again) that I am glad I learned to read. Otherwise I would be stuck watching the fresh stinking piles of crap they call TV programming. Instead I get to read all of the wonderful things that you all write for me (and others). Reading IS fundamental!

I can go on record and say that I am a tit man. However, today was the first time that I have ever seen more than one linear foot of cleavage in person. It was unbelievable. More important it was unbelievably tacky. Usually such a sight would generate lust and thoughts of the possibilities that such a great amount of breast meat would inspire. This time it was morbid fascination that made me look more than once. Kinda like watching a train wreck or something. I have said before that there could never be too much. However it is possible to show too much. This I know now.

Breaking News In Da Hood!

I guess it is anyway. I don't usually have the Fox 2 News helicopter hovering over the area except during morning traffic time. He done made three passes already. I wonder if that has something to do with the sirens that I heard earlier? Hmmm...

I am gonna have to run out on the porch and try to get on camera or something. If I succeed, don't be bagging on my uncombed 'fro. Or my white ass legs...

Technical Difficulties

Been experiencing some technical difficulties that kept me from you all for nearly two weeks. It has been killing me too. Hope they clear up soon if they haven't already. But if you don't see me then know that I am trying my best to get back to ya. In fact I am gonna stop all this writing and start reading. Where is my favorite blog list again...

Just In Case...

Since this particular posting session may be a fluke and I may be gone for a while longer...

Damn doctors appointment is finally almost here (Tuesday, Noon). I will keep you posted (as I can...)

May have one more need to see that doctor on Tuesday. Motorcycle class starts on Monday @ 5:30!!!!! Yeahhhhhhh!!!! Not too soon either, these gas prices are outrageous!!

I just found out about two weddings coming up soon. A cousin is getting married in one. A friend of the family in the other. Turns out that they are both on the same day. And I think they are both at the same place. If it weren't for the fact that the times are different and that they are both guys I would put this one in the "Just too weird for words" category. However. I may pack a pic-a-nic basket and hang out at Scott Fountain and crash both since they are outdoors at the park and all... Small ass world...

Since I Been Gone...

The younger child has made the transition to high school.

I contacted an old friend recently. I realized that I hadn't seen him in about five years. Seemed only like two...

Got some good leads on jobs with Defense Contractors. Got them from a cousin I haven't seen in about the same amount of time. He is retiring from the Air Force next month, give or take a week or two...

I was almost bored to tears. I didn't get to update my blog, or read yours, in almost two weeks! I almost died from the withdrawal symptoms!!!!! Damn word crack dealers!

Hung out with my dad, and little bro. Don't get to do that too often because of logistics, time and tasks. It was good though...

The rest ain't really worth mentioning.

Baby Brother

I am truly getting old now. My baby brother is now a father. The brother who is young enough to be my son has his own son. The part that really makes me feel old though is that he is 23 years old now. Hmm... I better get on the ball. He made one before I did. I am slippin'...

Congrats little bro! Have fun with Jr.

Scrabbler!

Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.

(Wait till you see the last one)!



DORMITORY:

When you rearrange the letters:

DIRTY ROOM


PRESBYTERIAN:

When you rearrange the letters:

BEST IN PRAYER


ASTRONOMER:

When you rearrange the letters:

MOON STARER



DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:

A ROPE ENDS IT



THE EYES:

When you rearrange the letters:

THEY SEE



GEORGE BUSH:

When you rearrange the letters:

HE BUGS GORE



THE MORSE CODE :

When you rearrange the letters:

HERE COME DOTS



SLOT MACHINES:

When you rearrange the letters:

CASH LOST IN ME



ANIMOSITY:

When you rearrange the letters:

IS NO AMITY



ELECTION RESULTS:

When you rearrange the letters:

LIES - LET'S RECOUNT



SNOOZE ALARMS:

When you rearrange the letters:

ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S



A DECIMAL POINT:

When you rearrange the letters:

IM A DOT IN PLACE



THE EARTHQUAKES:

When you rearrange the letters:

THAT QUEER SHAKE



ELEVEN PLUS TWO:

When you rearrange the letters:

TWELVE PLUS ONE



AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:



MOTHER-IN-LAW:

When you rearrange the letters:

WOMAN HITLER



Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay

Too much time on their hands! (Probably a son-in-law).

WORDS WOMEN USE

A word of warning to all men! Pay attention and beware...

WORDS WOMEN USE

1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right, and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine (see #1).

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about

nothing . (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you - do not question or faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying "%@&* YOU!"

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong" - for the woman's response refer to #3.

Ode To The Fairer Sex

WOMEN!!!! I just don't understand them!
You know how...
UGH!
Never mind!

That is all I have to say on that right now...

The Little Johnny JOTD

During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach Good Manners, asked her students the following question:

"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."

The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite. What about you Peter, how would you say it?"

Peter said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, Little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"

Johnny said, "Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after dinner."

The teacher fainted.

Sickly Rant: The Rebound

Hey guys! I just reread my own Sickly Rant. I have to say that I was really feeling it that day! I was asking myself "what the hell is wrong with the dude who posted that?" I came to the conclusion that Mad Muthanukka managed to get my damn password and posted that. He need a hug. "Irritation is my constant companion. He is a cool dude too." Whooo! We are much better now. No tears. No furniture packed. The rag however... Baby steps ya know.

Eh-Knee-Waaaayyyyy!!!!

I have an appointment with my Primary Care Physician. Finally! Too much productive procrastination. Time to get well(er). Y'all can stop worrying so much.

Dad managed a victory in court! I don't have all the details yet. But just winning is a small consolation against the problems he went through. Happy for him, I am!!!

I finally cleared out my main e-mail inbox. Yeah, I said main. I got like five. Almost added another today. Had to stop myself. I don't use all of the ones I have now.

Because my inbox is clean I contacted two people who I haven't seen in FAR too long! I found messages that I hadn't responded to. I did. They responded back! I had been wondering about them before the cleaning. I guess I was pointed to that oft delayed task as a way of showing me what action I needed to take. Time to get caught up.

Hell, I feel good enough to blog and read again...