Random Things

A thought that makes me smile. Ladies with ample backsides riding motorcycles in front of me. Thanks to MzCoko and my lovely wife for inspiring such a thought!

Random crazy thought. If I am riding a bike on the freeway after having a Jethro bowl of Life cereal, will the other drivers be horrified by the exhaust fumes?

Question #1. When did it become a good look to have a shirt too short and have your wrinkled, saggy, stretch marked baby belly hanging out? Yeah, that is right! You heard (read) me right! Girlfriend had that "one too many kids" belly where the skin don't tighten up anymore. And she wasn't no bigger than my index finga! Most UNSEXY!

Question #2. Why do some (really) big girls think that showing some skin is an excuse to show ALL tha damn skin? ::: Disclaimer Start - I ain't hatin' on the big girls. I have been known to closely associate with those larger than a size 12 (I think that is the cutoff point...). AND it ain't okay for anybody to be nekkid and out of doors unless there is sand and water involved. AND I ain't the smallest fella myself. - Disclaimer ends :::
That said I was horrified (once again) by a gratuitous showing of far too much! I previously mentioned a neighbor who has a tendency to uh... underdress (click here). Usually she does the shirts with the v-neck thing. But she got like some 60HH bra or something like that. To paint a better picture she usually has cleavage in FRONT of the titz. By that I mean you can see the titty meat between the nipples. Ya know. That kind of stuff that gorilla looking New York does now that she got the boob job. Eh-nee-way. This time she wore a shirt that didn't threaten to expose her woman parts to the world. BUT it wasn't big enough to cover up the back fat! Ah-mah-lawd! Not tha back fat!!! My eyes! Can't she find a shirt that covers ERETHANG? I found myself wishing she would pull that boy down and let the titty meat back out. I...am...traumatized!!!! Oh yeah, if you click the link, that ain't her. It was just for illustrative purposes.

Question #3. Am I being too much of a punk not to say something? I say that because I just got up to stretch and guess who was out side? Just drove up to the house. Wearing something that looks like a halter top on her! With Capri pants on! And one roll all the way around. Like that muhfugga is an accessory belt or something!
On tha real though. I should stop being such a hermit and go meet her and her folk. They are new to the block. And are probably nice (although young) folk. Besides the newest folk have one hot fuggin babe in tha house! Can't go down there and ignore the ones who were here before now can I? That would be rude of me! LMAO! I can go around trying to borrow a couple of packs of Sweet-N-Low!

Question #4. Ain't it funny how things seem to be but aren't? I say this because, of plinking. Those who are unacquainted:
plink (plĭngk) Pronunciation Key
v. plinked, plink·ing, plinks
v. tr.
1. To cause to make a soft, sharp, metallic sound; clink.
2. To shoot at casually.
Just had to throw an official definition on there... When I shoot things, both happen.

I can shoot pretty well but folk assume I can't because my prescription says BAT. A more detailed story follows in the next post.

Question #5. Why, oh WHY the hell can't Black folk stay outta touch? I ain't saying White folk ain't guilty BUT these damn cell phones have gotten WAY the hell outta hand! I can't tell you how many times I done seen somebody driving like the NEVER had sense. Why they do it you ask? Because they on the damn phone! Gitoffthadayumphoneandfukkindriveyafukkinasshole!!!!! EVERYBODY is guilty of that one. The reason I am calling Black folk out is because I see muhfuggas WALKING on the damn phone! NOBODY walks in Detroit unless you are without whip! And I ain't even talking about the ones on the major streets. I am talking about the ones strolling through the hood! Walked outta the house and on the way to a friend's house three blocks away. Why you gotta be on the phone then? And the ones on the bus are the worst. Because usually the ones who ride the bus got a Nextel! Why the hell I wanna hear you gettin' your walkie talkie on (that is what they were when I was a kid) when you ain't talking about nothing? ::beep!:: "where you at?" ::chirp!:: "just left Boo Boo house. I am finta go and get me sumthin' ta eat" ::beep!:: "Fa real what you gon' eat?" ::chirp:: "Prolly stop at the Coney Island when I get off the bus" ::beep:: "So what Boo Boo ass was doin' when you left? She still trippin' on you?" ::chirp:: "Man you know how she is. When ain't she trippin'?" ::beep:: "true dat, true dat. I am getting another call. Lemme holla later!" ::chirp:: "aiight. Holla back at me when I get to the cut!" I still wanna know what Boo Boo be trippin' about!