Phat Chyks

This one has been on my mind ALL dayum summer!!! I GOTTA get this one out before my mind gets all constipated and my head busts open!!! The Phat I am referring to in the title is actually P.H.A.T (Pretty Huge And Think again because you know your big ass don’t need to be in them damn clothes!!!!) Yeah, I said it!!!

Let me get this out of the way early so there is no confusion. I ain’t hatin’ on big women. Nor do I advocate such hatin’. However, sometimes you see such egregious errors in judgment that you simply cannot let it slide. FOOORRRRRRR instance…

…. She had to be a size 30 easy. She came outside with clothes on, almost. We talkin’ one of them thin pullover tops with the little bitty straps that only appear to be on the garment for show. The kind that ain’t long enough to make it down to her blue jean skirt. The kind that is low cut by default. Well you get the picture. The skirt was one of those little blue jean numbers that is short enough to pretty much erase the need for imagination. But it still was big enough for my (large) Pit Bull to use as a comforter.

The fact that she was a large lady in a little shirt wasn’t the thing that made this whole thing so wrong. The fact that she was a large lady in a short skirt wasn’t the problem.

See the problem is that she was sweeping the sidewalk in a little shirt with HUGE boobs, in a skirt that was two inches below tha thang whilst wearing 4 inch RED hooka heelz! Am I the only one who thinks that wasn’t quite kosher?

I must admit to enjoying the roughly 2.5 acres of breast she had escaping her top. BUT why have 12 inches of cleavage when 8 or 10 would have done the same job? And two inches of clearance before bushville? With thighs like that we need at least a 4 inch no-eye zone! And why do yard work in shoes that would be just like bear traps if you stepped on the grass?

If I am hatin’ too hard let me know. I ain’t against big women. I am the first one to tell any woman of any size to "Wear ya fat. It’s yours. Takes courage NOT to hide it." But some just take it too far.

So if you walk out of the house looking like this P.H.A.T. Chyk. You may want to go back in and check ya drag!