52 at Fifty: Week 7

Well this week started off busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.  Felt like the bad old days when the weekend schedule was overloaded on the regular.  This weekend (if the weekend started on Wednesday) was one of those.  12 cakes, five dozen cupcakes, two dozen cookies and a wedding tasting (another 4 dozen cupcakes) and I still think I am forgetting something.  No wonder I am feeling a little shell shocked.  Starting to develop jet lag from all the different sleep times I have during the week.  Nevertheless, missions accomplished.  Although the wedding tasting was starting to be a challenge.  See we usually have a little lead time to prepare.  Get the work area moved out and the living room set up for guests and display.  This time because there were multiple cakes on the table and sleep was in short supply by then, the timetable was severely shortened.  Like 15 minutes short.  Needless to say there was much that got moved, removed, hidden away or otherwise made "invisible".

The wedding tasting went well.  One of the attendees was my work buddy.  Another was also a previous customer.  Since they both were in the wedding party, they steered the Bride-to-be our way.  The big irony is that neither of the ladies who ordered from us previously had the opportunity to taste the cakes they bought.  So I pointed out to them that they finally had an opportunity to sample not only what they ordered, but some other tasty combinations.  A fantastic time was had by all because they were completely out of order.  Especially during the show an tell portion of the presentation where Meduim Willy and Little Willy showed up on the screen.  I, for a second, thought a male dancer walked into the room.  I told my work buddy that her crew was completely out of order, and that she could bring them by any time.  They totally made up for the previous wedding tasting.  That Groomzilla stole ALL the joy from the room.   And didn't like anything.  He decided to take over the cake selection himself.  Huzzah!!!  Just goes to show, not everyone likes what you do but there are others who will love it.  No use in mourning the loss of one you can't please, when there are others who are more than pleased with what you are doing for them.  They likely would have hung around a bit longer for more fun.  They traveled nearly a hundred miles to get to us.  Then someone mentioned shoe shopping.  Hey, if you travel that far, you might as well get it all in if you can.  So they took their act on the road!  To the shoe store!

Then there was another odd tasting the next day.  So my wife is looking at the dog's eye.  He seemed to have a bubble or some sort on his eye.  So I had to sucker him to sit still for inspection by rubbing him on his big head.  Small bubble confirmed, 24 hour observation period started.  Now I am allergic to pet dander.  Not anything really serious mind you.  But I have to take care not to touch the dog and touch my face without a good hand washing happening in between.  So off to the sink I go.  Now this particular canine is very spoiled and thinks that when ANBODY eats, he is supposed to also.  Not saying that is unusual.  But this one gets fed by my wife ALL the time.  Somehow that has translated to this strange "OH MY GOD THAT IS LIFE ITSELF!!!" reaction that he has with my right hand.  So I hear "You gotta be kidding me!  Honey come look at this!!"  So I stutter jogged to the living room to see.  I was met there by a dog.  One who was incredibly fascinated with, you guessed it, the contents of my right hand.  To the point he was retarding my forward progress from being in the way.  I exasperatedly exclaim "Seriously?!?!?  It is a bar of SOAP!!!"  Before the echo of the P even thought of fading away, my hand was empty.

Yes you guessed it, slow motion moment...
This fool had knocked a half bar of Ivory out of my hand.  It bounced once.  My wife yelled "NO!  NO KING!"  His big ass head dipped to the ground.  Not to sniff.  Because his big greedy ass mouth was open.  I realized he was far closer to that soap and I would not even dream of winning that race.  However, I WAS in between that soap and his stomach.  So I went for the throat!  Kinda of a weird thing to choke the shit out of your dog (you know you have wanted to do the same on occasion) to save his life.  Logic dictates that lack of air and an impeded ability to swallow would make one pause when attempting to gobble down a snack.  This fool however knows no logic and would not be deterred!  This sumbitch was chewing his ass off.  I was choking the shit out of him and my wife was smacking him on the nose.  No effect.  I let go because me doubling down at that point would only cause damage.  So he won.  That must have been the best tasting bar of soap EVER.  Fortunately a quick internet search revealed that there was nothing toxic or really harmful in a bar of soap.  But there are consequences.  First he had a rough afternoon while digesting half a bar of Ivory soap.  Second, he will have to be reeducated on the perils of food stalking me, especially when I have something in my hand.  Third, he may never get a snack from me again (angry talk, we will be doing Dorito's catch next week).  Fourth, and probably the most harsh, he has been rechristened Sir Bubbly Butt!!! and Bubblebutt.  And if he starts farting bubbles, guaranteed you will see him competing for thousands of dollars in that video!
As I sit here typing this, I am smelling the backup hotel soap on my hands right now.  Not happy about that...

Back!  Had to open a NEW bar of Ivory and then go taunt him with it before going to wash my hands once more.

Also I finally added some pictures to the Facebook page.  My customers from March of 2017 are happy now.  They can see their pictures now.  I guess I don't have to wonder why we are over a year behind on picture posting.  There was no time.  And I posted the last updates from February 2017 back in November.  I gotta do better.  And that webpage...  That is a whole different project.  Maybe I will work on that after I get the Facebook page caught up to this year.  Which will be after the business card redesign for the now empty boxes...