Da Fart Game!

Sorry, but I just gotta share these!

My nephew recently stated the following to my mom. "I just farted and it don't even stink. It was just air!" Uh huh. This coming from the same dude that slipped a silent one in class and the room had to be evacuated in the midst of a lesson. Whateva muthanukka. Ain't no way anything coming outta them guts could ever be considered anything as benign as air!

Last night while sitting talking to The Wife, my dog choses to get in on the game himself. We had just come in from walking him so there was a reasonable chance that he was empty. So we were sitting there talking about how spoiled he is (her fault). So we were teasing him by playing kissy face. He hates it when anyone gets her attention and he ain't involved. Usually he would bark when he thought I was getting the lion's share of the attention. This time he decided to be a little low key. So he whined instead. The short version of that all is: kiss kiss, whine whine, giggle giggle. After we got tired of having sport with him we just talked about him throwing a hissy fit. This is characterized by him laying down with his ass pointed in our direction. And we made sport of him for that. Of course the two of us being there and not touching him was too much for him to bear so he sat back up and watched us again. About three minutes into this particular bid for attention he lets out this floor vibrating fart. What does he do? Turns around and looks at his ass like he couldn't believe it had the nerve to do that to him. Not a glance mind you. But stared that boy down! He then sniffed the foulness and got up and attempted to walk away. He is more human than I some days...

You know you are having a hard time when your dream self is telling your unconscious self to wake the hell up because one, or both, or all of you farted and the stench is overwhelming in an enclosed space. The really funny part is that the conscious mind is too damn tired to pay attention to the shit talking dream self. Even more funny when the dream self is just trying to get a window open or something. You know that is some bad shit when your dreams are offended. No more milk before bed for me...

Have a stinky day!

Sincerely,

Tha Funkmaster!