Sometimes I just can't turn off. Oftentimes it feels like I am on a ride, completely out of control. Sometimes like that stunt that killed Indian Larry. Just surfing the seat of a moving motorcycle. Nobody steering. Not sure if or when it will lose balance and fall the hell over. Yet sometimes thrilling.
Then there are times like now when I am completely bored with everything. Not that anything is wrong. Just...ugh! I am finding that the things that have been occupying my time are not that occupying anymore. I am starting to think of the opportunity costs of the time spent. Like time not spent here.
I sometimes wonder if letting myself get away from here changed something. I mean at this point I am down from one post a month to one this year. Okay two this year. The decision to not BWM here anymore also kept me from wanting to share anything. I guess that could change. Also reading the stuff I wrote gave a third person perspective that I seem to be missing.
And I realize that, even as I write this, that I have way more to say than I can express. My organizational skill with the words is a little dusty and a bit overwhelmed. I am spending more time thinking than writing.
Maybe I will try to rediscover the dude that put the other 400 odd posts out here. Take my laptop out on the porch and let the scene inspire me to see things as only I can. Or I can just talk about people...
Can't wait to read this to see what I think about it. After I tell myself "That is so random..."
Anyhow, I am up much too late! Guess I better Hulu myself to sleep like I was going to before I started typing...
Happy Birthday #54 to ME!
10 months ago