Three young people were killed and one was wounded in a school yard attack in Newark.
Three friends were forced to kneel against a wall behind an elementary school and were shot to death at close range, and a fourth was found about 30 feet away with gunshot and knife wounds to her head
Evia Moore was quoted in an Associated Press article today. The shame, the shame. As if being born black and with a dick was not enough on it’s own. Now the national press giving THAT nut some press? I feel set back about 400 years. I don’t know about anyone else…
Warning:: This is a long ass post!
We arrived in Atlanta a day early for some plans that didn’t happen. So to relieve the boredom we decided to explore a bit. The first instance was the night we arrived in town. The Wife and I brought three teenagers along for the ride. The kids and their cousin. We got to town late in the morning. We checked in, ordered pizza, ate around noon and crashed. I was the first awake at about 5:00 in the evening. We sat around, watched TV and asked them what they wanted to do. Being teenagers, they of course had no opinion. Several recommendations later, nothing. Later on we encouraged one of the girls to go and explore. The other one of course went with her. The boy on the other hand was experiencing heaven (cable tv) and was not about to unvelcro his butt from the bed. Until I spelled it out for him. "BOY! YOUR SISTER AND FEMALE COUSIN ARE LEAVING THE HOTEL WITHOUT YOU! GET YA DAMN SHOES ON AND TAG ALONG!!!!" Of course my next statement to him would have involved what was going to happen in that room in the next 10 minutes whether he was there or not. Fortunately he ain’t THAT dense!
After a spirited christening of another city we decided to take a stroll ourselves. We took a walk around the 2 blocks that contained the MARTA station. Bending the second corner we found the first Atlanta Starbucks. And more shocking to The Wife, we encountered her first bug. We both happened to look down and saw a big ass bug walking across the sidewalk. She let out a little yelp and asked what the hell that was. I sweetly and diplomatically told her "That is what they call a Palmetto Bug down these parts" I wasn’t gonna tell her that was a cockroach until we were far enough away. I wasn’t carrying her ass back to the hotel! Next intersection we see a couple of clubs, and another Starbucks. Bend the corner to head back toward the hotel. I bet you can guess what was on the next corner! I started to wonder how they stayed in business until I noticed the number of expensive German and Japanese sedans roaming the area. By the time I got back to the hotel, I noticed that somehow I managed to walk uphill almost the whole way…
The next day we got the same "I don’t know" answer when I asked them where they wanted to go. So I decided to show them where I went to school there, a million years ago. This had to be the event of the trip. I had been telling my wife I went to school in the middle of the projects and it was right outside of downtown. Those were only slight exaggerations. After the told me to go anywhere I accessed my old memories and headed for West End. New and vigorous downtown gave way to old and scary. They missed the really good part of the adventure because I missed my turns. When I finally emerged it was at West End Mall. I can’t even describe their reactions. Needless to say I was laughing at them for the next hour or so. Pointed out the colleges of the AUC one by one. As I drove by pointing out all of the changes since I had been down there. Then through the hood. They surprised me by wanting to stop at a store. So I did.
It was almost surreal. Hoodies came out of the woodwork. One dude started wiping of the hubcaps to the car, "out of the goodness of his heart". Another walked up asking for 15 cents! Got out of the car with little cuz, because she wanted to stop. I walked in and saw plexiglass as far as the eye would want to see! And old wood paneling! And that is it! I then heard "I’m straight" and I turned around to see her narrow ass getting back in the car. She just left me standing there y’all! We beat a hasty retreat out of there after that! It would have been hastier but I didn’t wanna run over hubcap man who was still working on the wheels! We laughed about that for the rest of the day. I wonder if any of them will leave it up to me to decide again?
Warning:: This is a long ass post!
This little story starts near the end of the meet and greet. My family is known to gather together and hang. And I do mean hang. This particular night was the first full night of the event. And the rooms in which the dinner was held were closed around nine or ten. So a group of us "tweeners" decided to keep the party going. Since the meet and greet only had finger food, folk mentioned the need to deal with their hunger. So the idea that we should go as a group came up. And some wanted to explore for food on foot. I felt this was trouble but kept quiet. I don’t get to hang with them that often so a little (bucket of) sweat was a small price to pay to hang with my favorite cousins. The idea that won was a little stroll to The Varsity. The Varsity is a famous Atlanta drive-in restaurant which serves hot dogs and hamburgers and such. The first problem was that the Atlanta resident in the group lived on the other side of the city. The second problem was that those wanting to walk had just arrived within the prior six hours and hence didn’t know the lay of the land. The third problem involved someone mentioning that it was only three blocks away. I knew better since the wife and I had gotten a day early and had to hunt for food the night before. So we didn’t pay attention to how far it actually was since we turned a few times and were distracted by the driving of the residents. But we knew it was more that three blocks. We just hadn’t realized how far…
In truth the three block walk would turn into a 17 block odyssey. So Me and The Wife, The Prophet, Big P, The Chocit and Banilla Revolutionaries, The Ol’ War Vet, Six, The Fire Man, DJ Beav, and The Ghost Writer headed on out. Now to call the terrain in Atlanta rolling is being charitable. I would have sworn that I needed mountain climbing gear along with my towel. By four blocks we ran across the Checkers which was the nearest food to the hotel. And at that time NO one noticed that we couldn’t see The Varsity even though we were at the top of a hill. I felt like I was dying but it was down hill for quite a ways. Someone asked how much farther by then. Some security guard told us three or four more blocks. Of course we found a grocery store that far down. So a couple of folk decided to hit the ATM while the rest of us stood guard. Shortly after that we ran across a panhandler who wanted a quarter. When he got not joy he said this: "I can’t get a quarter from all of y’all?" Now you would think he would stop right then? Noooo… "A whole bunch of y’all and I can’t even get 25 cents?" Irritating but still ignorable. Then "Just one quarter, and I can’t get it from all of y’all?" At this point I noticed a several folk cut their eyeballs back in his direction. I started counting the number of fists in the party. I wondered aloud if there were enough so that nobody had to use the same hand twice when we counted to 25 on his head. Eventually he got the point.
A few more blocks found us passing a Cheetah’s. At this time Big P attempted to persuade us to stop there instead. To which The Banilla Revolutionary replied "We doing all this walking to get something to eat! And what we gonna eat, you won’t find up in there! Besides I am strictly dickly!" I wasn’t about to argue with her… And then the conversation degenerated into a debate on prosthetic body parts and hair. More to the point if the bubble butted lady in front of Cheetah’s had ass implants.
The next block found us walking toward three wanna-be-gangstas. Gold chains, hip-hop gear, the whole nine. Now the beggar incident was still fresh and they wanted to act like they didn’t see ALL 11 OF US! Again I started counting fists and started doing division… After they passed us they turned the hell around! And they started walking in our direction! I think at that point some of the others were counting fists too! I was just hoping they were lost. For their sakes… They found their way before they caught back up.
The next two blocks found us near where we were going. The Wife had peeped this dude who rode past us twice. He then parked his car like two blocks uphill and got out. He then proceeded to switch his ass downhill for three blocks to a club. There were two open doors in his general direction. Me and The Wife took bets on which was the club he was headed to. She won the bet when the shim who was waiting on him sashayed outta the one she picked. Although the place smelled like an old basement when we went by.
FINALLY! The Varsity! I have to say that I was underwhelmed. There was a grip of folk behind the counter so it had to be a pretty hot spot. Especially on the weekend right? Crowded? Yes. Good? No. Everything seemed puny. Maybe that is why we are so fat in Michigan, too large portions… But the Chicken Finger combo (Onion rings, coke) was almost seven bucks! But it looked more like a chicken toe combo! And the hot dog that we thought was a chili dog actually had hamburger meat on it. And it was far too small for $1.70.
We left there and started to decide if we were gonna walk or ride back to the hotel. The riders won that vote! But the ones who wanted a drink won first! So we crossed the street and shared a couple of big ass beers and saw some fashion mistakes that kept us entertained. Ran into a waitress from Detroit who had managed the club where Six tended bar back in the day. Saw a street dude who was also from Detroit. You know those dudes who are really smart but look messed up as hell? Then we saw a dude who looked like he escaped from an Ivy League pub or something. You know the kind who have the sweater hanging over their backs with the sleeves tied around the neck? Did I mention that it was about 90 degrees at the time? And he didn’t match? And there was one chick who was wearing this crocheted dress that wasn’t the right size? Looked like someone had knitted a cozy for a pickle barrel. And we saw that same damn outfit at the African Art Festival the next day!
After the beer we stalked this cab driver who pulled up to the gas station across the street. We piled in and I nearly choked when he put the $12 on the meter before we even started. I guess we had six or so folk over the minimum. Then we all felt stupid as hell when he turned the corner toward the hotel because there was a damn friggin MARTA station sitting right on the corner! We could have saved all of that walking, the cab ride AND got the obligatory MARTA Train rides in at the same time! Drinking and walking don’t mix.
Warning:: This is a long ass post!
This little story starts near the end of the reunion dinner. My family is known to gather together and hang. And I do mean hang. This particular night was the last full night of the event. And the rooms in which the dinner was held were closed around nine or ten. So a group of us "tweeners" decided to keep the party going. One cousin, The Prophet, had a bottle of wine he had been saving for a special occasion. Another cousin, Big P, had this gigantic bottle of Parrot Bay. So we all decided to transfer to the hotel courtyard for a little drinking and a lot of story telling. So we gathered the crew, the Chocit and Banilla revolutionaries, The Ol’ War Vet, Babyface, Twin Lady and Six. Yeah, yeah, I know we sound like the Justice League or something, but the names had to be changed to protect…something…
Anyhow, it was a little rainy outdoors at the time. And there was a porch that led to the courtyard. So there we went. The nine of us, respectfully, congregated at the far side of the entrance and had us some more drinks. And some stories. A lot of stories. A bag of Crown Royal and a bag of ice came out with Cousin Slim. A couple of aunts and uncles joined. And I had another drink.
By this time the talk of the Detroit-Atlanta People Mover kicked into high gear. So we decided to stroll across the street and jump on the MARTA around midnight. I have to say that it is interesting to see a bunch of half drunken 30 and 40 somethings on the move all wearing the same t-shirt. Then there was a great debate as to how to use the fare dispensers. The proper buttons were pushed and the associated monies paid. Off to the trains!
The cousin in Atlanta mentioned that the trains stopped running around 1:00. So we didn’t have a lot of time. We waited for about five minutes for the train. We hopped on and rode the five stations to Five Points Station. There we jumped off for the ride back. While in the station I noticed that we had quite a bit of time left and asked if they wanted to explore the station or take another train in a different direction. Then somebody noticed that the escalator was broken. So I went to find another one. Nobody followed. So I went back to the group and got on the next train back to where we came from. This train car however smelled like it had just pulled out from the Atlanta Zoo. So thankfully it was a short ride back to where we started.
Out of the station and into the bar across the street. That was an interesting place since it was the first bar that didn’t really have a set closing time. I have to say that was the cheapest bar run I have ever made. We all drank a shot with this guy who was fancying the t-shirts. All those shots he bought and still didn’t get the shirt… Was tasty though. Wish I could remember what it was called. But the $1 Rolling Rock made my day! Although we didn’t get him a shirt we did try to explain family relations and what they mean. I have to admit it is some hard to lock on subject matter when you have been drinking and you don’t have visual aids. I wonder if he remembers any of those explanations…
Out of the bar area and into their smoking area to join the smokers in the crowd. I guess we were having too much fun because one dude just came right up and joined us. I suppose the folk of less color were less colorful personalitywise also. Now I don’t know how they do where you come from, but where I come from party crashers are likely to get that ass spanked. And not in a fun way… But we were feeling rather peaceful so we let him entertain us. And he did. By trying to hit on Big P on the sly. Didn’t go over well but it wasn’t like we didn’t suspect such a thing to happen in Atlanta! After that we all crashed out and prepared for the long treks back across the You-Ess-Of-Ay!
Did y'all see the sound byte from the press conference when Mz. Spice and Mz. Allred declared war on Donkey Norbit? Mel B. totally sounded like a dude. Her damn voice was deeper than mine! That child is gonna grow up so confused. A mother that looks like a mom and sounds like a dad. And a dad who looks like a donkey and sounds like a dad. They didn't call her ass Scary Spice for nothin! I couldn't have hit that in the dark. Cause if she said something in the dark I would have to jump the hell up and land on the light switch. Have me wondering what dude got into the room when I wasn't looking. Hmm... I will have to include earplugs in any future fantasies that she may star in.
1. Designated Drunk - Sometimes you aren't the driver...
2. figging - OW!
3. The Source - SMDH...
4. fuck puff - You know you done been there!
5. power slam - Need that once in a while...
6. stocking the porcelain - Been a victim of this far too many times...
7. penis car - Ladies! Now you know what is up ahead of time...
8. penis butter and vajelly - Ah... That is what they call that...
9. lou lou - Now you got a new term for it.
10. Toss the Pink Salad - Ditto above...
11. crapfork - Been there...
12. Mashitty - Who hasn't needed this on occasion?
13. cunty - When bitch just isn't the right word...
14. pocket book - All this time...
15. nerdelicious - Yep! That's me!
Yep! Vacation is over!!!!
...
Damn, damn, damn, dAMN, DaMN, DAmN, DAMn, DAmn, DaMn, DamN, dAMn, dAmN, daMN, DAMN, DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!
... ::: sigh :::
Well y'all the time has come for me to go. Time to hit the road and all. I will holla back at y'all when I return on Monday. Or Tuesday... Well You know...
One tame little Definition before I go...
1. out dis piece - in relation to home.
See ya!
Today I am going to attempt to increase your vocabularies. Yeah, yeah. I know you went to school for that shyt. But trust me, you won't mind this little exercise in education. You trust me don't cha?
1. hot carl - I wouldn't try it, but my tho't hurt from the laffin'!
2. donkey punch - Don't try this at home! Use a motel instead!
3. bucking bronco - I cannot lie. Sounds fun AND dangerous.
4. pregret - How often do you do this?
5. internuts - AKA the anonymous commenter!
6. cafediem - I bet I ain't the only one!
7. askhole - There is always one...
8. fifty yard fake - Who among us has not experienced one of these?
9. Email Bankruptcy - Been there, done that. Especially on Yahoo!
10. drunk catcher - These are so entertaining...
11. dap and dip - Like you ain't done this before...
12. Bluetool - I know you done seen one. If you ARE one, be ashamed!
13. cubicle speed - So needed this stuff!
14. check your vitals - Like you ALL don't do this ereday!
15. epiphanot - Seemed like a good idea...
Yes. I am truly dyssturbed for this one!
You know, I noticed something strange that needs a solution. A bunch of black people are trying to be white through prosthetics. A bunch of white people are trying to be black via tanning and hip-hip. I propose we all pick a new color. Something right in the middle.
I propose all of those folk call themselves Caramelos!
That is all I have to say on that one...
Today...
Here it is. The last of the first hundred posts. I won't talk a lot on this one. That is for you all to do. But here is a picture of me in bike class mode!
Yes I broke the picture ban! This once... But how else are you gonna look at me!
To my blogger family, I give the gift of me!!!!
It has been batted about here and there about how folk feel about meeting other bloggers in person. I have thought about this myself. I in fact would like to meet my blogger fams whenever I get the chance. There are a few folk in the area I wouldn't mind meeting. There are some who in their paths of travel end up in the D. In fact one mentioned that she was on her way soon. I may have to unvelcro my butt from this chair and find the time and means to meet her when she arrives. Just before I head out of town myself.
All my Atlanta peeps! Heads up! TSSE will be in Hotlanta from the 26th through the 29th. All y'all down there may have me looking for ya! So send me a message or a comment and let me know where ya be. Cause all o' y'all I might get to see!
I am officially outraged up in here today!
Why?
Bullshit and greed!
Over what?
You ain't been paying attention!!!!
Gasoline prices are higher'n shit! That should be no surprise to anyone who has been awake in America (or the world) the last three years. But my particular beef is with the fact that in the home of the American motor car we are paying the THIRD highest rates in the entire country!!!! I was recently on the website www.fuelgaugereport.com checking out the prices of gas along a soon to be traveled route. What I found out is that we are paying (on average) almost a quarter more than our next nearest neighbor! Michigan $3.26! Ohio $3.03! WTF!!!!??!?!?!? Is that any way to treat the people most likely to design a new gas guzzler? Or folk who like riding solo in cars? Where is the love?
Make me wanna holla! Throw up both my hands. And my gas can.
I need my bike dammit!!!!
Why you ask? Because I have been dragging my feet something fierce on Post # 100! Gotta make it a good one you know. That and I ain't got the content together on the three possible directions that this one can take.
That and the milestone got me thinking about my blogging in the first place.
Am I gonna stop at #100? Hell naw! I was considering it and starting a new one. Do like Star Trek and have two going at once but run them a certain length and change gears. Sounds good. Works bad! A Dyssturbed Mined by any other name? I think not!
Do I break my previous ban on photographs here and start putting pics in my posts? I am not too sure on that one. Might mess with my dark and minimalist background. Force me to change the look! Hmmm...
If I do break the ban then wouldn't it make sense to combine the two blogs? Maybe. But do I really wanna give up "The Truth Is Lamer Than Fiction" as a blog title? Prolly not.
It also occurred to me that the titles of the two blogs are somewhat backwards. Do I switch the names and relaunch? To those who regularly stop by, it may have occurred to you to ask "why he got the titles to these blogs backwards?" I wondered that myself. But the Sub Titles explain the madness within. So I guess they can stay the way they are.
Oh dang! Phonus Callus Thoughtus Interruptus!
Today post #100 hits the fans! This I promise! Unless of course the DSL is acting like a bitch...
I got The Melancholy y'all. I was watching Roots:TNG the other day. There was a line similar to that one. "Thas jus' the melancholy talkin'". That stuck with me. Especially since that has been the way I have been feeling lately.
I ain't even felt much like posting. Or reading for that matter. Not that the reading part matters much since a large portion of my blogger fam ain't been posting! One even went on hiatus or vacation or something. I won't name any names. Because of The Melancholy. Hell I am even having trouble finishing this post. So... I will finish by making mental sticky notes of the posts I should have been creating the last few days.
1. Y2K booty!
2. My stress test!
3. My history before blogging: Tha Bullshit Theories (also ties into item 1.)
4. The Career Fair.
5. The high gear job pursuit.
6. Post #100!!!
7. The Melancholy.
8. Things I just don't get.
9. Crack dealers and new addictions.
10. Jennifer Hudson's Oscar, she made me cry.
And many, many more! Whenever I can think of them.
Today in the news!
ME! I made it on TV y'all! Finally! Strangely enough it was the same station that had the helicopter over the crib a few weeks back. I was at the NAACP Career Fair and managed to get some screen time. Of course the only problem with my appearance was that they got a good shot of my back from what I am told. So if you happened to catch the Fox 2 news this morn and saw a bright dude in a snazzy interview suit, that was me. Just didn't manage to get my face out there. Starting to feel like Charlie. Now where did them Angels get off to? A Funny aside note: I met Charles Pugh (local anchor/reporter) and we lamented the closing of our Alma Mater. RIGHT after that someone else said Hi to him too. And he interviewed her! I am dressed like I am about to take the corporate world by storm, she like she was searching for the service entrance. I guess they get trained to find the most "interesting" folk for the camera. Dang! In that case I was camera ready for the helicopter...
ERIE, Pa. — A pizza deliveryman who robbed a bank and was killed when the bomb around his neck exploded wasn't a hostage — he was a conspirator in the plot, federal authorities said Wednesday in announcing the first indictments in the nearly four-year-old case.Okay, I think this qualifies as a Darwin Award Winner here! If you are robbing the bank, how the hell do you let ANOTHER lazy-greedy bastard talk you into wearing a bomb? Especially if you don't have the button? What did he used to be thinking? I swear! The things a dumbass will do for money!
Chauncey Billups signed a $60 million, five-year contract Wednesday with the Detroit PistonsNow THAT is what I call a salary negotiation. He was under contract for $6.8 million this year. He opted to test the free-agent market. Didn't get a LOT of interest. Ended up with roughly $12 million average for the next 4-5 years! I would have to say that Mr. Big Shot got a good return from throwing them dice! If I see him at MGM Grand I will buy that brotha a drink and pick whatever points he tries to make at the crap table!
SANTIAGO, Chile -- Chile's soccer federation suspended six players -- including captain Jorge Valdivia -- from the upcoming World Cup qualifiers for going on a drunken rampage at the Copa America in Venezuela.Hmmm... Seems to me that folk should have been scared witless that night. I mean if you mix alcohol with dudes who can literally kick ya ass up betwixt ya shoulders...
LOS ANGELES -- Another "Simple Life" star is facing possible jail time.Make the stupiding stop! Come on! Were the Richies not wealthy enough? Now she trying to get adopted by the Hiltons by being anotha Paris? Did she not learn anything from Paris and her jail spell? Brandy? Lohan? Nolte? Can you say drinking and chauffeuring? SMDH.
Nicole Richie is deciding whether to accept or reject a plea deal in her driving-under-the-influence case.
MEADVILLE, Pa. -- A wrecking ball wreaked havoc on a small college town in northwest Pennsylvania on Monday.Just try explaining that shit to your State Farm Agent!
Wrecking Ball Goes Wild
The 1,500-pound, 3-foot-wide ball broke loose from a crane cable and rolled nearly a mile downhill.
It smashed more than a dozen vehicles and injured three people as it bounced from curb to curb.
The ball slammed into the back of a car stopped at an intersection. The force caused a chain reaction with two other cars at the traffic light.
The driver, an Allegheny College junior, said he thought a car had hit him when his back windshield exploded.
The ball came to rest in the trunk of a car and pushed it nearly 20 feet.
Workers had been using the wrecking ball to demolish part of a library at Allegheny College when the cable snapped.
MILF kills 14 MarinesI ain't touching that with a 10 foot pole. But they were Philippine Marines and MILF is a group of rebel guerrillas. But still...
An aide to former Michigan Gov. John Engler who was appointed by President George W. Bush to direct northern border relations was fired from the post today because, he says, he refused an administration order to ignore a violation of the U.S.-Canada border treaty.Guess G. Dubya don't appreciate a job well done. Especially when dealing with National Security. Make ya wonder?
It recently occurred to me that I can be a little tardy noticing things, on occasion. I noticed a couple of omissions in my blogroll that I had to fix. And I realized that I may have left others out too. Sooooo.... If I have left comments on five or more posts you wrote and you don't see your name in My Usual Guest Appearances, let a brotha know. If you blog from the Detroit Area, meaning you were born here or are living here now, or before, then let me know who ya are. If you are family, I should know about ya spot! Hit me up! If I am on your list and you are not in mine, let me know I am slippin'.
Of course if you see a bright dude in a paisley silk short set with matching Ostrich shoes walking up on ya, know two things. 1) You is about ta git cut! 2) You done fugged up cause I checked ya blogroll and didn't find me there!
Lata!
As I was thinking about plinking (rhymed) in the last post, I began to think about other things that amaze folk. Here are a few of my favorite things to do that astound and amaze my friends!
Plinking:
I have a bb gun that I have had since I was eight. I can hit most targets that it can reach usually on the first shot. As you all can see I gotz me four eyes. So quite naturally folk think I can't even see the damn targets much less hit them! Once they get their mouths open in amazement, I usually show off by hitting a fence post from about 60 - 100 yards. So I am warning you all now. If you are feeling a little beside yaself and wanna act out, don't come on Tha Hill! Cause I can reach out and touch that ass!
Jeopardy:
Being the genius that I am I have amassed a decent sized bank if trivial knowledge. Reading, watching TV, listening to radio and such things get absorbed and somehow stored. So if you are watching Jeopardy and I am in the room and you are competitive, DO NOT yell out any answers unless you want me to play too. And of course if you don't mind losing. Maybe one day I will try my luck. But I will have to give up worrying about embarrassing myself on national TV before that can happen. Just my luck they will be categories I know nothing about.
The Dictionary Game:
This is my favorite. I used to spend hours browsing through the dictionary. For me looking up a word usually took about a half-hour because I would look up that word, read several others on the page, link to other words. Pretty much my way of surfing before the World Wide Web. So every once in a while I hand folk the dictionary and challenge them to find a word I cannot define. The rules being that a "definition" is valid if I can tell you what the word means more or less. Not the "exact" dictionary definition. To date I think my success rate is around 90%.
The Movie Game:
This is the one where I ask for the two top billed stars in the movie and I give you the title. I am about 70% successful with this one. It would probably be higher but there are a large amount of movies that are out there that I just don't care about. This game mostly applies to the movies that have been made since I have been alive. So if you can't remember the name of a movie and I ask you who starred in it, you got a good chance of getting an answer.
What things do you do that astound and amaze your friends?
A thought that makes me smile. Ladies with ample backsides riding motorcycles in front of me. Thanks to MzCoko and my lovely wife for inspiring such a thought!
Random crazy thought. If I am riding a bike on the freeway after having a Jethro bowl of Life cereal, will the other drivers be horrified by the exhaust fumes?
Question #1. When did it become a good look to have a shirt too short and have your wrinkled, saggy, stretch marked baby belly hanging out? Yeah, that is right! You heard (read) me right! Girlfriend had that "one too many kids" belly where the skin don't tighten up anymore. And she wasn't no bigger than my index finga! Most UNSEXY!
Question #2. Why do some (really) big girls think that showing some skin is an excuse to show ALL tha damn skin? ::: Disclaimer Start - I ain't hatin' on the big girls. I have been known to closely associate with those larger than a size 12 (I think that is the cutoff point...). AND it ain't okay for anybody to be nekkid and out of doors unless there is sand and water involved. AND I ain't the smallest fella myself. - Disclaimer ends :::
That said I was horrified (once again) by a gratuitous showing of far too much! I previously mentioned a neighbor who has a tendency to uh... underdress (click here). Usually she does the shirts with the v-neck thing. But she got like some 60HH bra or something like that. To paint a better picture she usually has cleavage in FRONT of the titz. By that I mean you can see the titty meat between the nipples. Ya know. That kind of stuff that gorilla looking New York does now that she got the boob job. Eh-nee-way. This time she wore a shirt that didn't threaten to expose her woman parts to the world. BUT it wasn't big enough to cover up the back fat! Ah-mah-lawd! Not tha back fat!!! My eyes! Can't she find a shirt that covers ERETHANG? I found myself wishing she would pull that boy down and let the titty meat back out. I...am...traumatized!!!! Oh yeah, if you click the link, that ain't her. It was just for illustrative purposes.
Question #3. Am I being too much of a punk not to say something? I say that because I just got up to stretch and guess who was out side? Just drove up to the house. Wearing something that looks like a halter top on her! With Capri pants on! And one roll all the way around. Like that muhfugga is an accessory belt or something!
On tha real though. I should stop being such a hermit and go meet her and her folk. They are new to the block. And are probably nice (although young) folk. Besides the newest folk have one hot fuggin babe in tha house! Can't go down there and ignore the ones who were here before now can I? That would be rude of me! LMAO! I can go around trying to borrow a couple of packs of Sweet-N-Low!
Question #4. Ain't it funny how things seem to be but aren't? I say this because, of plinking. Those who are unacquainted:
plink (plĭngk) Pronunciation Key
v. plinked, plink·ing, plinks
v. tr.
1. To cause to make a soft, sharp, metallic sound; clink.
2. To shoot at casually.
Just had to throw an official definition on there... When I shoot things, both happen.
I can shoot pretty well but folk assume I can't because my prescription says BAT. A more detailed story follows in the next post.
Question #5. Why, oh WHY the hell can't Black folk stay outta touch? I ain't saying White folk ain't guilty BUT these damn cell phones have gotten WAY the hell outta hand! I can't tell you how many times I done seen somebody driving like the NEVER had sense. Why they do it you ask? Because they on the damn phone! Gitoffthadayumphoneandfukkindriveyafukkinasshole!!!!! EVERYBODY is guilty of that one. The reason I am calling Black folk out is because I see muhfuggas WALKING on the damn phone! NOBODY walks in Detroit unless you are without whip! And I ain't even talking about the ones on the major streets. I am talking about the ones strolling through the hood! Walked outta the house and on the way to a friend's house three blocks away. Why you gotta be on the phone then? And the ones on the bus are the worst. Because usually the ones who ride the bus got a Nextel! Why the hell I wanna hear you gettin' your walkie talkie on (that is what they were when I was a kid) when you ain't talking about nothing? ::beep!:: "where you at?" ::chirp!:: "just left Boo Boo house. I am finta go and get me sumthin' ta eat" ::beep!:: "Fa real what you gon' eat?" ::chirp:: "Prolly stop at the Coney Island when I get off the bus" ::beep:: "So what Boo Boo ass was doin' when you left? She still trippin' on you?" ::chirp:: "Man you know how she is. When ain't she trippin'?" ::beep:: "true dat, true dat. I am getting another call. Lemme holla later!" ::chirp:: "aiight. Holla back at me when I get to the cut!" I still wanna know what Boo Boo be trippin' about!
