One for this year...

Hey y'all!

I recently meandered in this direction.  I noticed that it has been a while for me and really most of those I followed in the glory days of blogging (for me).

I read the last handful of posts.  There were notifications of loss and promises of more blogging (maybe).  Well, I ain't here for that stuff.  But I will give you a quick update for those not already up to speed.

There are no major losses for me to report.  The only thing I have really lost that I hold dear would be my weekends.  But that can be a positive thing sometimes.  Business has been pretty damn good for the "side hustle".  So good that if there is a RARE off weekend, I find I have no idea how to spend the time.  Probably because there is so much that I go into overload and laze out.  But that rest has been needed.  So my laziness in this case is a good thing.

20 years have passed since my wedding day.  As a gift I am taking my wife on a cruise.  She is ecstatic and has been counting down the days.  So ecstatic that she is willing to overlook her mistrust of airline travel.  So it has been her motivation to keep pushing them goods out the door the last couple of months.  And it will be my first REAL vacation in several years.  I can't wait either!

I have also rediscovered my one of my favorite hobbies.  Last year I found my way to Slow Roll and I have been spending regular time on my bike ever since.  Not to the same degree as the golden years, but I no longer have to ride alone.  Group rides are the best.  So good in fact that they have motivated me into being out of doors during the summer.  I haven't done THAT in a while!  And I noticed some differences between my chest and forehead skin the other day.  I thought it was due to me cleaning out the gutters and attempted to wash it off.  Somehow the soap didn't do the job.  I think I am trying to look negro or something now.  My wife seems to be enjoying the light chocolate haze that has settled on me so it's all good!

Not only has the bug to ride bitten me hard, but I am motivated to build some new skills because of it.  You see I have been digging the new bike culture in Detroit.  People are even making bike clubs in large quantities.  And most of the club members are riding custom cruisers around town.  Some are pretty damn sweet.  More important the riding posture looks way more comfortable than the "curled up like a shrimp" look that was the way to go when I rode FAST.  And my hands are no longer young and have developed a touch of achyness.  So the old riding style is not that comfortable for my elder more corpulent body.  This brings me to the desire to have a different steed for the type of riding I do now.  Thsi in turn brings about a few problems as follows"

• The first problem is that most of those fly rides are single speed with coaster brakes.  I need my gears, and I like big boy brakes on my bike.  
• I also want something that is a little different from the norm looks wise.  Not that easy to find. 
• Thirdly, most of the frames with the right ergonomics are too long.  They are more stretch/limo cruisers.  I am thinking more "power cruiser"
• 4th, most of those are also too narrow between the rear dropouts for me to "reconfigure" them to my intended use.
• AND most of those designs are not quite how I want them.  Some are close but none are cigar.
• OH ANNNNDDDD... almost all of them use Hi-Ten steel.  Even the fairly expensive ones (at least expensive for my cheap ass).  I can't do Hi-Ten.  I gave up cheap bikes YEARS ago!  I can't go back.

I am guessing you can see what is coming, right?
I have two paths to glory.  Either find a custom builder to make it to my specifications, or learn the skills to do it myself.  I am guessing you weren't just skimming to get this far.  So you already know that I am cheap as hell.  So you probably figured out which option I am not planning on taking.
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I'll wait for those of you who are a little slow...


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.. Okay done waiting.

Yep, you guessed it.  I have decided that side hustle number two will involve some metal work, welding and powder coating.  Hopefully the investment in these skills will save me money over paying someone else.  And I have like four designs I would like to see in my garage, so it may be cost effective in the end.  And with the proliferation of bicycles in the area, there may be some decent cheddar in it.  We will see how that goes.  Or IF it goes.  Main hustle and side hustle number one are some greedy mofoz.

So...  Things seem to be steaming along pretty good right now.  I am doing okay.  Things could be better, things are not worse.  I will take that any day.

I won't make any promises about when the next update will happen here.  Seems I am not too good at keeping them, sooooo....

Oh, and GO Team USA!!!  Some great stories in these Olympic Games this time around, huh?

Yours truly,

The Second Sixty-Eight

Honoring The Fallen

As of late, I find myself somewhat obsessed with death. Not in some unnatural way mind you. I guess a better description is that death has taken great interest in hanging around me. So of course I have taken great interest in return. Naturally.

As usual with the specter... no spectre (I like that spelling better...). As usual when the spectre of death hangs around, it brings many things with it. Usually those things are not positive. For me it has brought on a bit of surliness, less ready smiles, I am more withdrawn, a little more extreme. Some days I just plain old require solitude.

You see death has taken a toll on me recently. As I write this, I still can't fully measure what I have lost. Mostly because I can't see things from an objective perspective. At this point I don't want to understand. I don't want things to make sense. I just want death to go away for a good long time. I know people don't come back, so I don't really want that. But I do want that spectre to realize that it is not being very fair to me. Far be it from me to wish such a thing on someone else. But when dealing with such, that is sometimes how things go. “If not you, then who?” seems to be the question. My answer is “NOT DAMN ME! Come back when you have evened things out EVERYWHERE!” I know how that looks. But then again, pain doesn't give a damn how things look.

I guess I should take a minute and give a bit of backstory. I find that context tends to help paint the picture.

Two days before Thanksgiving, the phone rings. I think nothing of it since I was the farthest from the phone at the time. Then I hear “Nooooo!”. I have only heard that once before in my life. Fear fills my insides like there was previously a vacuum there. Just as it did the first time. The questions “What?” “Who?”, “Where?”, “When?” and “How?” all explode in my mind at the same time. Then I hear “Don't tell me that!”. Now every possible alarm bell is going off. At this point I know the relationship between the caller and the callee. I also know it is VERY bad news. The list suddenly narrows itself down to a 4 year old girl and a 65 year old woman. I am desperate for information at this point and am on the verge of knocking my wife over and ripping the phone out of her hand. Instead I try to concentrate on calming myself before my heart thundered itself right out of my chest. And then “Please don't make me tell this man that!”. The odds on the 4 year old suddenly dropped to near nil. My wife finally composed herself enough to realize that I was waiting on confirmation that my mother had passed. All of those questions I had were either answered buy that or became unimportant because “Why?” was the only one I cared about at that moment. Over the next several hours I spent time with a lot of sad and shocked family members. You see, my mother had some health issues, but she wasn't ill. She was watching TV as she always did and folk were coming and going. My nephew went to the store to get them some snacks and was coming back to massage her legs as she asked. My sister returned home less than 10 minutes after he left and she was gone. And my life changed. Those next few hours was the first time I have ever felt alone in the company of people. She was laid to rest with a wonderful memorial service. Her ashes will be spread at her favorite park either on her next birthday or around the 4^th of July during our annual family picnic.

Fast forward to the end of January. I am at work during a lull in the action. I log onto Facebook to see what is happening. I get an instant message from a great aunt that I barely see online. She tells me to call her. The fact that she contacted me that way told me it was something of great import, so I called her immediately. She infomed me that my Uncle Frankie had passed the night before. A sad event to be sure but not unexpected. He was 81 and had some heart problems for a while. Of course it was too soon for me. I mustered up the strength to make one more call and grabbed my cell phone. I went to a little used spot in the building where cell reception was better and privacy was higher. I called my wife to give her the bad news with a ton of tears in my eyes. He was one of her favorites in my family. She didn't take it well either.

Fast forward to the end of March. I am working from home early one Monday. I get a call from my cousin, who was like my brother while growing up. I hadn't heard from him in a while because as many of you know, I am part hermit. And other such grown folk stuff too. So we chit chat for a minute or three. Then he says to me, “I was calling to ask if you could be a pall bearer”. My immediate reply was “Who, what, when, what?!?!?”. His reply was “Oh, you didn't know! Dad passed on Saturday.” I didn't know because I was still a little down and had not been to the family page on Facebook or the family website on Ancestry.com. My sister also neglected to pass the word on. I told him that “I could do no less for him and that it would be my great honor to do so.” This really messed up my day and no work would get done. You see this man was like my other father. I was the salt in his salt and pepper twins. He was also one of my mother's favorite cousins. Needless to say, I was pretty messed up. My wife was rather fond of him and his wife. Again, not news she took well. The depression I had been running from for the last few months found me, and it held on tight.

Rewind to mid March. I read a FB post about a cousin from my father's side. He was in hospice for cancer. I called his brother to find out what was going on. We talked for a few minutes. I got caught up on cuz' situation. By this time I was running that losing race with depression. I wasn't able to bring myself to call Auntie though. Fast forward to Mid April. I run across another FB post about the cousin I talked to on the phone. It seems he had a stroke and was in the hospital with little to no memory of anyone. AND another cousin was in ICU because an asthma attack nearly took him out. A couple of days later the stroke patient has recovered some memory and function. The asthma patient improves enough to leave ICU. A few days after that my sister remembers to call. The cousin in hospice passed early that morning, his brother was still in the hospital recovering from the stroke AND their mother was admitted to the hospital due to stress and other complications.

Today is the day before my cousin's home going service. For me, this will be the fourth time in five months. Let me restate that. Four funerals in five months with two near misses. Obviously I am not doing that cool. To the point that I let slip my own self discipline and desire to be better. Some days I win, some days I lose. But I shall still strive until I no longer have the ability. I will get back on my meds and stay on schedule. I will get back on my bike and ride like I am young again. I will try that damned Insanity workout again! I gotta say though, that shit was hard!!! I must be a glutton for punishment because I liked it. My old, fat body didn't necessarily agree with the abuse and I had to wave off before I snapped something. But I will be back. And I will give myself a better diet and a better attitude.

I promised myself I would not write depressing stuff here again. But I needed to let this out. And I had to something to honor Loraine, Charlie, Donald and Layman. I don't think I can get better without having done so.

I ain't promising that I am back. But I am removing that dumb promise to myself. When I fell of writing here, I fell off having that therapy. I thought it was because things felt better. But I do this to make things better. Every time...

And Now... None

R.I.P. Big Ma.


I got the news about an hour ago...

And Then There Was One

Life has ways of being interesting.  A lesser known fact about me is that I have had nine grandparents.  How do you ask?  Well... My father's parents, one and two.  My mother's parents, three and four.  This is the usual configuration for most people.  However life happens and sometimes there are additions.  In my case it happened several times. 

My mom's parents divorced. 

Her mom remarried, five.  After a (not very long) while, he passed.  One gone, I was just a babe.  I wish I had known him, I am told he was a really good man.

My parents divorced a couple years later.

Not long after, dad's mom passed.  Two gone.  I can barely remember her myself.  But she lives on in the memories and stories of her children.  A very kind and intelligent woman and mother of 13.  Three years is not nearly enough time, especially when there were so many others to share her with.

Not long afterward my mother's father remarried, six.

Not long after that my father's father remarried, seven.

My father remarried.  Though that bond came her parents, eight and nine.

It is around this time when I am really aware and can remember people and events.  So the relationships began to develop past familial to personal.  Mom's mother was Grandma!  Straight, no chaser, grand parent of all grand parents.  For me she was the most constant.  The greatest presence of all the grands.  She also happened to be my family's Madea... But I digress...  My mother's father, he was number two.  So much I can say about him.  Too much going through my mind to even write it.  That was my man though.  My father's father was a ghost to me.  An occasional visit here and there.  It was hard to be a part of his life since he relocated to California before I really got to know him.  Which of course meant that I didn't really know his wife either.  My mom's step mom. She was grandma too, but without the capital "G".  She was a pretty nice lady from what I can remember.  But there was something I couldn't put my finger on that put up a barrier.  I guess the families never really quite meshed.  Her children never quite felt like uncles and aunts.  Her grandchildren never quite felt like cousins.  I guess they really weren't because after her death, I didn't see much of them.  After his, they became pretty much legends...  My step mom's parents are the last two.  I will be the first to admit that this was a strange relationship.  I never had a problem connecting with either of them.  But it was not really a grandparent grandchild relationship.  More like beloved great uncle and aunt.  There was a certain distance between me and my sister and my step mom's family as a whole.  Just never really engaged with the clan.  No nights spent over folks houses.  No cousins ever came by.  Now that I think back, it was almost always a case of me going where they were.  I guess to a kid, one way don't cut it.  In fact it probably explains the distance between my brothers.  Meetings usually on their turf, not mine.  Hmmm...  Different post that.  But back to it.  Pappa and Big Ma were their identities within the family.  Poppa to me was a stereotypical good humored southern farm boy.  Always happy to see you.  Honest, hard working, Salt of the earth kind of guy.  A great big old teddy bear.  Big Ma on the other hand quite a bit soft spoken.  Seemingly as small as he was big.  Always willing to take up the conversation or relate a story.

This is the grandparental landscape as it was when I was five.  It remained that way for several years.  Then my mom's step mom passed.  This was the first grandparent I really engaged with who moved on, three down.

Things stayed stable though my teens.  Mostly...  Grandma was the next to go.  This was the one I really connected with.  I got a lot from her.  I remember one incident that sealed the deal.  She had a fireplace in her house.  There were pictures of all of her all over the place.  I remember mentioning to her (with my lip poked out) that she didn't have a picture of me up there.  She gave me that "are you effing kidding me?" look.  Then she said something that pretty much meant the same thing.  Then she steered me to the photo albums.  Told me to look though them.  Needless to say after a few moments I felt like a complete jackass.  And never more loved...  Best believe that a couple of years later upon my high school graduation, hers was the first picture I delivered. Four down.

About a year later Grandpa was also gone.  I think he was heartbroken mostly.  He took Grandma's passing, and the circumstances, really hard.  First time I remember seeing him cry.  I will always remember the lesson he taught me about respect and paying attention to what folk say.  Seems he sent me to the store.  Gave me a list of stuff to buy him and I could have the change.  I came back with a half assed order for him and the bounty of the gods for myself.  I think he was a little pissed.  I remember the laughter more.  And that had more of an effect on me.  I will never forget that.  Mostly because he never let me.  Five down.

A couple of years later, my father's father and his wife returned from California.  His health had starting heading south.  As had her memory.  They needed to be cared for, so they came home.  I got to spend a little time talking with him as an adult,  Digging through the stories and history that he had available in his head.  But there was not enough time.  At least I never thought so.  Six down.

His wife was the one where the connection was weakest.  As I said, they were in Cali most of my life.  When the came back she was in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's.  By the time of his funeral, her memory was mostly gone.  Pretty much everybody was a stranger to her.  I remember the last couple of conversations we had.  She looked at me with a sad and apologetic look and said "I'm sorry, I don't remember you."  I was slightly taken aback.  Remember, Dad is one of 13.  13 who were fruitful.  So there were a lot to remember.  Even in the best of circumstances, that statement was not unexpected.  So I tried to explain who I was.  We both felt better for the understanding achieved.  The next time I saw her, the conversation started the same as before.  This time I simply replied, "That's okay, I remember you".  Not long after that she joined her husband.  Seven down.

Poppa was the next to leave.  He was a good man, who lived a good life and raised a family.  Can't really remember that man ever having anything bad to say about anybody.  We were always happy to see each other.  My biggest regret is that we didn't have more of each other in our lives.  Eight down.

This leads me to the somewhat deceiving title of this post.  See Poppa passed years ago.  So there has only been one for over a decade.  Big Ma is 93.  Good health and a bit of spunk to boot.  She and my father celebrated their birthdays together and the family showed up.  I still smile when I picture that scene,  She was sitting in the chair by the window.  Somebody asked what she wanted from the store.  She replied that she wanted something to drink.  After folk asking about various soft drinks and juices and getting "no" as a response, somebody (I forget who), said "The hell with all that Big Ma want her a DRINK!"  The very satisfied grin she wore after that pretty much told that tale.  She got her a little cognac for her birthday drink.  Job well done!  I also remember looking at her a couple of times during the event.  She wore a beaming and satisfied smile while the late winter sun beamed down on her through the picture window.  An beautiful day, a good drink and surrounded by family in celebration.  That included my absentee ass...  I have to say her last birthday was a good one.

Today she inspires the writing of this post.  Because of recent events, one may soon be zero.  A couple of weeks ago, she fell and broke her hip.  The doctors said she needed emergency surgery or she wouldn't walk again.  The surgery was successful I guess.  However there were some complications that ended up in her falling into a coma.  I was by dad's house this weekend.  She is there, sleeping.  I stole a quiet moment to hold her hand.  Not believing that after 93 years that her time may have arrived.  Though her end may be soon, her legacy is strong.  And like the others, she shall live on.  In me...

Reblog 2010 pt. ?

You know, I am sitting here wondering if this is yet another post that I write that I will not publish. Several times over the last few months, I have gone dumpster diving in the lost and found. Trying to find writing again. I look over the other stuff I have thought about this year. In various stages of development. I planned a whole series, with a theme. Weeks have gone by since then. I have not the will to continue them. And don't at all feel bad about that. I had a conversation with a fellow blogger about the state of blogging in our lives. At that time we both had a few distractions going on. There was a bit of new commonality that we shared. Not necessarily good this time. We were feeling that we were telling the same stories as we had before. Had nothing new to contribute to the community at large. As such, he said he was really thinking about quitting and his post of three days prior was his last. I hadn't updated in months myself. Of course that is somewhat hard to do when you are unaccessed. Then again, I am different too. Yet with nothing to report. You know Same Shit Different Day and such. I think that is why I have trouble finishing these now. Recently I seem to have fallen into a rut. Kinda good, kinda bad. Good because there was some let up in the crushing stress of the household. Bad because that let up allowed me to relax. I wake up every day and feel some measure of joy that things aren't worse. Joy that things aren't as bad as the same day last month. Yet there is always that dread that things will surely become worse without a bit more diligence. Sometimes it is hard to muster though. Things go better on sunny days. And I do find that I am a bit more optimistic than my immediate family members. I guess the adversity has given me a different perspective than the rest. Having lived longer than the others, I see that patience has it's place. Sometimes we have to play for time and let things play out as they may. Kinda like that old grizzly bear standing on that big rock in the middle of the river during Salmon spawning season. But sometimes even I lose sight of that. Much like I just lost sight of what the hell I was trying to say... I believe I just over thought my way out of a good point. But I find I do that a lot too now. Cause that had absolutely NOTHING to do with why I sat down here and started to commit thoughts to “paper”.

Why DID I start this you ask?
Well...
Mostly cause I miss you guys.
I seem to have lost touch with a group of folk who have become very dear to me. I can make all kinds of excuses, but I won't waste your time or mine.
2010 is supposed to be the year that I reconnect with the world. I have been somewhat successful with that. That gigantic distraction called Facebook became my favorite place to visit while online of late. It allowed me to reestablish connections with many people who I have known. And with time being at a premium (that is when I can steal some time online) Facebook comes at the expense of spending less time with you all. Okay, most of you. I actually have managed to engage a few of you more than I did while blogging. But that aside, I need to stop missing you.

I need to upgrade my reconnect overall. I realized that recently when I took on an assignment to do my father's branch of the family tree. I was surprised at how much I didn't know that I think I should. My reconnecting is getting a failing grade I think. I guess to not be a hermit, I can't quit quitting. (Yeah, I stole it. I don't smoke anyway! (much like many Michiganders these days!))

So I continue. I will continue to reach out to many in my life.

The task right now is to jack some Internet and find our just how many of you are still out there. Or for that matter, who even remembers me and where I be.

Of course I gotta be successful in jacking that 'net first...

The Big Day!

Yep! That's right, the big day is here! Graduation time! The direct prelude to "get reacquainted with your blog" day.

Been a long hard road getting here. And a somewhat challenging one lately. Which reminds me, I got a couple of stories to tell... But, I digress (already...)

I would expound further, however the days tribulations have enervated me to the point of somnolence. <~~ see, it's working already... I know I also said I would give you guys a link so that you could share in the wonderfulness. In case you didn't have jack shit else interesting to occupy your time that is... But it seems that there is no link to the broadcast at this point. But the link to where it will be (at some point) is right here. I will make sure to post it when the actual video is up.

Anyway, this pie is about done. So I am gonna take it out of the oven and put me in the bed.

Oh yeah, for those who are interested and lucky enough to get a live feed, the festivities kick off at 10:00 a.m. e.d.t. (too damn early in the morning if ya ask me...)

Later!
Louis Sanford
AKA
The New Graduate!

Ain't Dead Yet!!!

But I am working hard on finishing finals!

I am guessing that blogging will be my release from the tedium of the job search that shall start in earnest after Friday! Or next Wednesday... I forgot about that paper...

Anyway, I haven't forgotten that I promised y'all some info. I will get that to you soon. Definitely before May 8th!

See, what I WAS gonna do...

Yep, what I was gonna do was drop my dulcet tones on you all in another audio post. Then I remember encountering resistance from several people who shall not have their identities outed. Today...

So...

You get to read instead of listen.


Every thing is cool.

That is all...


Okay, just kidding.

But things are cool.

School is still going on. The countdown is officially less than 30 days. Graduation looms. Hopefully that damn math proficiency that I was avoiding like the plague won't come back and bite me in the ass. Especially since I found out that you can only take that sumbitch ONCE a semester!!! What the fuck is that all about? Especially when I couldn't find the damn study materials on the website they sent me to! Do you realize how much math I have forgotten in the many years since I actually took a class? What a backward ass university!

Classes this semester have been a bit more challenging. Why? I am glad you asked...

• I moved at the beginning of the semester. It was distracting for the first three weeks.
• I resent three point five of the five classes I am taking this semester. I wasn't expecting to take them.
• Cruise control is on.
• Did I mention resentment?
• Is May here yet?
• I gotta get a job now?
• I can't regurgitate facts like I did two decades ago.
  

Okay, enough of that.

I am surprised by how much my early semester affected the midterms. That and I am tired of group projects where folk don't wanna do shit. Thank god the last one is on Monday! And that I don't have to go to Astronomy lab any more!!! Just gotta turn in work for that one. One more class session and a paper for Business Anthropology. Hmm... Two weeks of class and then the final Finals!!! Yeah! I gotta be honest though. I really don't care what these grades look like as long as they don't keep me from commencement. Not that I ain't gonna continue trying. But it took 24 years to get here, I already got one and a half middle fingers up!!! Ya feel me?!?!?

Dang! Now I gotta go all they way back to being a grown up.
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... ...
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Dang!

On the other hand, the job is always easier than the training for it. And the payments go in the opposite direction. Who invented that system anyway?

I will try to post more since the workload is letting up. I can justify spending time creating documents that don't have a due date and a rubric. But you know how that goes. And how I go...

OH!!!
By the way. You are all invited to my graduation!
Turns out that while tickets are limited, there is an internet simulcast! I will have to get the link out to you closer to the event!

Update: I passed the proficiency exam!!! So that little test won't hold me up for another 15 weeks!

I Would Like To Speak To Management Please!

Because this place is getting hella dusty!!!

Yep.

I know.

Half a month? Even I think it is ridiculous!!!

But because of the move and semester starting at the same time, I am STILL a little disorganized and slightly behind.

And before you say it, YES! I been studying!!! Just ain't caught up yet. And since I am getting organized as I fly into mid-terms, I may be a little absent still (or not... I never know...) But my last midterm is on my birthday. How the hell am I supposed to take my personal holiday off when she does that shit? BUT spring break for me starts pretty much close of business on the day after. SOOOOOOOOOO. I MIGHT be in Atlanta that week. We shall see if that comes together or not. If it does, then be prepared for A Dyssturbed ATL coming in Mid March!!!

Now, I better go and get dressed before this Valentines Day Steak don't happen! And after that... Study...

Lata!!!

Plans?

You know sometimes how you make plans to do things and it don't workout? Well I had some plans to surprise all of you.

See I was gonna kinda defect to the Wordpress way of life. But I couldn't make my page look as cool with them layouts of theirs. And they disabled much of the good stuff I like to add to my page. They suck for that.

Then I was gonna make the jump to Wordpress by self publishing. That way I would have been able to use the good features of Wordpress and have all of the cool features that Blogger has. But alas, the trial attempt made my head hurt slightly. And I don't really have the chips to purchase the web hosting and domain name. So I ain't defected yet.

But don't be surprised if you have to find me at Dyssturbed.net or something like that. I will of course keep you all posted on that...

Announcement!!!!

A Dyssturbed Mined is coming to you from a new location!!!!

I can now be reached at:

##### *************** St.
**** ****** MI, #####
(###) ###-####

Oh dang! That damn paranoid ass Usama done blocked stuff out. For those of you who have the old number, it may still be on, but I won't be there!

I don't mind telling y'all, I been getting my ass kicked by progress the last couple of weeks. But the furniture moving is over. Mostly... Just gotta get the internet up and I can start blogging from home again. Might even have time to do so now. Except Mondays. I got a 9:30 - 9:30 schedule with a five hour gap in the middle. Needless to say, Monday posts will be rare unless I am bored and not doing homework midday like now.

I be tired though. I guess I will feel fresh next week. That is when the real work is going to start.

Guess I will go and visit now. See y'all in the comments!

Yeah, I Know I Been Gone. But...

This is a quick update for all of y'all who have been missing me whilst life has been happening to me.

• I have registered for all of my classes at this point for the Winter 2009 semester.
1. Three of them are on the main campus near my old address.
2. Two of them are at the extension center near my new address.
3. I am trying to get them all on campus so I can avoid Wedenesday evening and Saturday morning classes.
4. This would give me a 9-9 on Monday and a 1-8 on Wednesday schedule., should I be successful.
5. If not then fuck it.  One evening and a Saturday won't kill me.  Especially if it means NOT taking Spring or Summer classes.
6. Keep ya fingers crossed.  May 5 is the anticipated completion date for this campaign.
• For those of you who haven't been paying close attention thus far, I HAVE A NEW ADDRESS!!!
  
1. My wife managed finagle me into a ranch style house.  Oh well, no upstairs, I guess I will live.
2. It isn't the perfect solution that we were looking for which would have allowed the kids to walk to and from school.
3. It isn't as cheap as we would have liked.
4. It is a place where they don't have to be moved to other schools.  Unless they want to do so.
5. It is a place where my family can recongregate.  Including the dog...
6. It is a place where I will be able to call it home.  Ain't done that in years.
7. It is a place where folk who are less than respectful of your stuff and space and feelings are not really welcome.  Even if they are family.
• Seems that mom is none the worse for wear being cared for by... not me.
  
1. She has been relocated temporarily to a location where there is heat and electricity and cable.
2. Although the current crew could be a little more attentive, she ain't being ignored.
3. We will likely have space for her should she get tired of her current caretakers.  Yeah!
• The wife is doing pretty good.
  
1. She has run the house search.  Which is why I didn't argue much about the house type.
2. She is definitely happy because we got approved for the lease.  She get's her family back whole and gets rid of the unnecessary mouth music from other parties.
3. Taking the layoff in stride right now.  Get a little unemployment.  Get some stuff together.  Take a breath.  Start the job search if the layoff lasts more than a month or two.  Or if a bigger paycheck pops up on the horizon.
4. She is walking unassisted.  No cane.  No boot.  No worries.  But a little bit of a limp.
5. She been stressing like crazy and today she is smiling and cheering and rooting for the Eagles to beat the Giants right at this moment.  Oh what a relief it is!!!
• Me?
1. Health is getting better.  Blood pressure is coming down.  Sugar is not bad.
2. My water pill has been cut down so I am not peeing on the hour anymore.
3. I took my both of my loans.  This allowed us to get the money for moving and such without having to depend on family.  You don't know how much relief I am feeling about having to pay back some money!  Especially since HER family always has to have a negative ass opinion when they give money.
4. I get to sleep at night in a bed with my wife again.  In a room alone!  Heh heh hehhhh!
5. I finally have the funds to finish getting this tooth fixed from the root canal.  It got infected again and I am on antibiotics again.  But I do want to eat on both sides of my mouth sometime soon again!
6. Most important I am feeling much more at peace than I have in a long time.  If I don't watch out, I may start feeling happy.

Oh yeah, I might even finish the rest of the dream story too.

Tagged!: 7 Random Facts And Other Madness

1. Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.

2. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.

3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.

4. Let each person know that they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Well thanks Aretha! I blame you for this!

1. I have separate drinking vessels for every type of beverage I consume! - Yeah. That's right! I got a coffee mug, a tea mug, a cold beverage mug, a giant water jug and bottles and even drinking glasses for the spirits and wine. Okay, we will just get this outta the way early, I am anal! BUT most of my drinkware is plastic and insulated. You all know how plastic holds smells. I can't stand drinking a cola and smelling coffee in it! Or coffee and Plantation Mint smells whilst sipping on a nice lager! Hmm... Come to think about it am I the strange one?
2. I can't stand grease on my hands. - Never liked it. Never will. The thing with the grease is because it be all sticky and slippery at the same time. Hence the reason you will never smell Afro Sheen up in my do. Can't stand this so much that I will immediately stop whatever process I am in and go wash my hands.
3. I hate persistent smells on my hands. - This one is simply because I sleep with my hands near my face. Usually on one or both. And my nose is very sensitive most of the year (when it ain't clogged from the crazy weather changes in Michigan). So having things that are not pleasant smelling on my hands will keep me from sleeping! Okay it bothers me if I am awake too!
4. I am a pack rat who can find things in the clutter. - My own personal spaces I tend to keep things that may be useful in the future. Other folks garbage is my treasure, to an extent. People are constantly amazed that I can remember where stuff is amongst the "garbage dump" (their term) of my stuff. Of course I done saved folks asses numerous times with a well timed piece of "junk" being used to niggarig their broke ass shit! Now on the finding things, this next item will explain...
5. I like order. - "Everything has a place and everything in it's place. If it doesn't have a place in my house it has no real function and hence has no need to exist in my house." This I have told to my kids ad infinitum. You would think those damn slobs would have learned that by now. The Wife takes that approach and goes overboard. For her, if it needs cleaning up then it needs circular filing! But back to me, I can find the smallest damn thing where folk only see disorder because I mentally catalog everything that I have. I can usually remember the last place I saw something. Of course that gets knocked off kilter when my folk "clean up". I put the clean up in quotes because their idea of cleaning up is taking the junk you moved from the area in question and putting it in a closet in a garbage bag.
6. Leave my shit alone! - This is definitely me. I have found that folk don't treat your things with nearly as much reverence and respect as you. But then again they didn't pay for it either and usually look at you like you are the one that fucked up when they break your shit. So I don't like folk messing around in my stuff. For instance, I collect Hot Wheels and mini motorcycles. Sometimes I put them out on display. Then folk come by and want to play with my shit. How dare these neanderthals want to play with my toys like they are...TOYS or something!!! I don't give a damn if you are three and like cars! Keep yo' little grubby hands off my shit! People sure aren't raising kids to the same standards like they used to! Humorous rant aside, it really does bug me because I have had a whole Hot Wheels collection DESTROYED like that. And when you are eight and had to BEG to get each and every one and come home from vacation and find your collection of 25 hard fought and won wonders broken, bent and missing, it does something to you! To this day, I will go and buy you one if you really want to play with one that bad! Seriously. And I find that grown folk ain't really no better with ya shit so this ain't just about Hot Wheels. That was just a good example...
7. I got more friends in Blogworld than Bushworld - What can I say? I like you guys a lot. I just hope y'all ain't crazier than I think ya are! Especially since I would like to meet SOME of you! Yeah, y'all chew on that last one. I will leave you to figure out who is in and who isn't. Fight it out amongst yaselves. To the winners go the spoils of me!

What? Why y'all looking at me all funny and shit? You KNEW I had to fuck with SOMEBODY on this damn post! If you didn't then you obviously didn't read the sign over the door when ya came in! Don't know what party you think THIS is. You know how I do it! I keeps it on tha madness! Shoo, ya betta axe somebody!

For those who might be wondering about their status per #7, I can say this. I ain't saying no names, but those who got a big ole ass, ya probably in. If ya knockas is bangin', ya probably in (that includes danglers too (maybe)). If you declared your undying love for me, or at least expressed your desire not to share me with others, ya probably in. If ya mind is as hot as ya body, ya probably in. If 310 means anything to you, you probably in. If you think I sound good on the phone or the lazy blog, you more than likely are in. If you got good cookies (marinate on that at ya leisure), you likely are in. If ya accent makes ya voice even sexier, by gosh give ya self an extra point or two. Hell if ya voice is sexy as hell, you can call me anytime and count yaself amongst the likely. IF ya talk a good sex game, you might be better off than most. If you are a homie and you have been known to turn up a tankard and you buying the first round, you definitely in! Hell if you are buying the first round then you in anyway!
And last but not least, if I told you I liked you more than ice cream and:

• You are a dude: Consider this the end of our relationship because I don't do that gay shit...
• You are a chick: Expect The Wife to come and bring that beat down because she may discover that you are the one I was cheating with!

If I missed any of you with these inside jokes, charge that to the Oldtimers and not the heart. Unless of course you really ARE out...

Oh, BTW. This is a voluntary tag because I stupidly promised immunity to several persons the last two times. AND I think I was the only one to get away with this the last time this particular bug was going around so y'all may have exhausted your weirdness already. Not likely, but maybe...

Another Turning Point

I think i may be hitting another one of those places where the dissatisfaction generates motion.

Right now I am getting near the end of my "vacation". Tomorrow is my wife's second follow-up visit to the surgeon. She may be cleared back to work any day now. Which means I won't need to be here any longer.

The thing is that I am starting to not really feel ANY desire to return to where I was. Things are just not really working out for me. I kinda get that molasses feeling. That barrel crab feeling. That stuck in shit feeling. But I am tired of being poor. Tired of being co-dependent on someone who is dependent on me. But we can't do anything but tread water and hold on to each other. I can't do that anymore.

And on the other side of the coin, The Wife is suddenly faced with the prospect of finding a place to live. Her mom is not renewing her lease. She is moving with the other daughter. She let this be known a couple of weeks ago. During disability check time.

I see that as a way out to a certain extent. I just need to find me a source of my own income. And let go the fact that I need to be there for my mother to prosper. I still ain't sure how it will work out on that. But I guess I will never know if I don't go.

But I must live. So I gotta decide for me.

I shall find me some work. And some space to call my own.

I will cross my fingers.

And hope for a nice position out of town where I can ride a motorcycle more months than not. Okay, at least a good nine months is not the whole year.

Ya hear that world? Year round bike riding!

Anyway. I gotta finish dinner.

Wish me luck. And coherent thoughts if I lost any of you.

Oh Woe Is Me!

Okay, no it ain't! But that popped into my mind for some strange reason.

Things are cool. The Wife is doing well. She went in for her two week evaluation on Monday. She finally got to see her leg again. It needs lotion but isn't bad overall. The doctor removed the tape around the sutures and that had been causing her some of the discomfort in the first cast. Now she has a nice purple cast (her favorite color). Which coordinated with her purple sweats that I bought her so she could leave the house without trying to squeeze her cast into some tight pants. THIS of course was a problem because the inactivity has allowed her to gain some weight. I am sure you can see where this is headed and why my hair is trying to turn a touch gray. It didn't help that the cleaning lady at her job had the nerve to say "girl you done picked up some weight!" I really could have murdered that woman right then because I been hearing the whole fat speech since then. LAWD save me!

And she has taken to entertaining herself with reading the gross stupidity that is known as the "letters to the editor" sections of various online sites. I don't relly think she believed how stupid things got when the great unwashed and unlettered get a forum to display their ignorance. Oh... wait... Does that sound elitist? Have I become an Obama? Eh-nee-waaaayyyyy... But yes, she is finding the opinions of the average american extremely entertaining. So I guess getting the computer working is generating benefits.

Mom seems to be doing okay with the rest of the folk looking after her. Hopefully things turn toward good a little faster soon.

I feel like a stretched rubber band. Not that I am complaining. There are benefits to being where I am. My days no longer are filled with finding ways to relieve boredom. I am relearning how to juggle things. I may just come back to life.

School updates: Midterm edition:

• I am stil awaiting my score from my Astronomy exam. I don't know what happened to the scores. I guess I shall continue to wait.
• I did the presentation for Systems Analysis. I could have gone better. I was thrown off a little by the fact that my group members had trouble keeping my visual aids on the screen. Especially since they were keeping me on track during the presentation since we couldn't have notes.
• I got the midterm for that class back that same day. Chalk up that grand slam y'all! A hunned pacenn thank ya! The rest of the class didn't seem to do as well because he felt the need to offere a deal to encourage class participation. He is going to spit the difference between the midterm and final scores and add that to the midterm grade. So those who dropped the ball on the midterm get a chance to improve that grade by doing well on the final. Doesn't do jack shit for me, but then again I get what is going on! I don't need no stinking crutch!!!
• Tonight I hand in the first assignment in my comptuer class. It works as it is supposed to. It is my original code. I have a flow chart and pseudocode. Hopefully it is all he asked for. Since he didn't require that we do data validation, I didn't add any. But it takes the required inputs. It gives the required outputs. My black box works to specifications as given. Should score high.
• Got a quiz in Astronomy to finish before tomorrow night. Guess I will do the reading and take it before I leave. I am 10 points short of perfect on the quizzes. So I missed a question on tidal friction. I bet I got that sumbitch on the exam though.
• Time to start concentrating on the DSS project Systems Analysis and the paper for Astronomy.
• Assuming I don't have any major meltdowns, I should get at least two if not three A grades this semester.
• Registration of the next semester starts the day before election day. All three of the classes I need are offered and I am in line for being done with classes in early may. Unless of course I opt for grad school...

Well, that is what is up on my front. I will attempt to be a little more regular now. I hope...

Troubles With King Syndrome

Yesterday's post was put out late last night. And you may have noticed it didn't have a title. Today a post with a title OOPS!!! NOW it has a title...

I figured out why it took me so long to do it. And why it was essentially a lazy blog that was typed.

Why do you ask? Oh several negative emotions regarding the folk I live with.

These derive from something I call King Syndrome. King Syndrome is where a man escapes the confines of life as is has come to be and falls into a world where he feels things as are they SHOULD BE. I spent the weekend out with The Wife. I tend to do this at least a couple of times a month. This happens for a few reasons.

1. I need time away from these damn inmates! Prison, asylum, call it what you want. But that is what they be!
2. To see how well cared for mom will be in my absence. I can't be here all the damn time and those other people she is supporting need to step up and earn their comforts without my interference (being their safety net).
3. With my wife is WHERE I BELONG!
   
4. Some exit strategies need to be phased in slowly instead of being forced on the populace at large unexpectedly.
5. There is a great deal of leechism going on here and I am tired of being one of them. My living expenses are being provided for me by not me. So I make the best of it by making sure the person who is taking care of me is as well taken care of as I can manage.

I could go on but I think you are getting the point. Needless to say, that wen I am gone, I start to feeling like a king again! But then I return and find myself amidst a black hole of motivationlessness. Never thought I would look forward to getting out to class like I do. I am starting to regret taking that web class. I could be staring at the young and inappropriately dressed instead of staying stuck in the house. But I know why I did that one. 10% laziness and 90% not leaving her to them for that many days in a week. Although I am gonna have to get over that...

The problem with King Syndrome is that good times come to a rapid end. And I return to... this place... It ain't home...

But on my return I notice several things almost immediately that are not right. This destroys the afterglow naturally. Good emotions are replaced with bad. I find myself pissed off because nobody really bothers to clean up after the dog. This means noboby bothered to take him outside so he WOULDN'T need to be cleaned up after. I mean hell I hate doing it sometimes but it is like a preemptive strike. I would rather be cold and sleepily walking like a drunk than smell a wood floor that has been pissed on. And I find that things are out of place or plain missing. Man, I feel my blood pressure spiking right now. If suddenly start talking crazy or you see the same character repeat itself a bunch of times, it is because you witnessed a stroke at the keyboard. Just thinking about that backwards ass shit is pissing me off.

IDK. Maybe it is just me and I am a closet control freak and need to get my shit together and... Okay fuck that. I ain't the one fucked up. The more order I try to establish in this joint the more chaos ensues. It ain't me. Anybody who knows me knows two things about me (that apply to this situation...) 1) I am live and let live. If you ain't messing up my groove, I ain't gonna be in yours. 2) EVERYTHING has a place. I am no neat freak, in fact I am somewhat packratish. But I think that for things to exist in my space they have to have a purpose and a place. So living with folk who don't understand that keeping their shit to themselves keeps me outta that shit and we all are happy is a problem. And in addition those same people not understanding that utility of things (and people) having a purpose AND a place bother me to no end. Hell I can't even get my damn mail without going on a damn scavenger hunt. I done found mail with my name on it in every room in the joint. Strangely enough it never ends up in the ONE place I am guaranteed to see it, the chair I am sitting in now.

And don't let me turn my back too long. The stuff that is used to provide comfort and support for the person who is taking care of this House of Leeches will walk the hell off. Mom is the only person who can't bathe herself (unless Lil B. is in the house), so there are wash basins here for that purpose. Why did I spend a half-hour last night looking for one while constantly bitching about the FOUR of them missing when I was trying to get her cleaned up? And she needed a shirt change once I managed to get her clean. Why could I not find one of the FIVE shirts I got for her LAST MONTH when her clothes were washed and returned earlier in the day?

Anyway. I am getting tired of bitching today. And since you have spent all this time reading all of this, I give you The Money Shot!

I am really hating this place and these folk. So if I tell you I am coming to a town near you sometime next summer, know two things.

1. We gots to hang! Eat, drunk and get merry and all that shit.
2. You got homework. Because I will likely be in the area because of an opportunity, so I am gonna know where the GOOD spots to live in your town are.
3. If it is biker dude calling, I may be coming to steal a corner in some unused room, if you got one (yeah I know I said two...)

Much love!

School Madness: Tha Update

I went in for another round of advising because I was positively in a twist last night.

I get there after several misstarts getting out of the door. And it is a rainy kinda day so I ain't feeling that wonderful. After one tardy bus and one crowded bus I make my sweaty way into the office. I sign in and wait for about 10 minutes. While I am there I see this Indian/Pakistani guy sitting with a small baby. A couple of minutes later I see this thin and fine thing walk out and ask him "Is the baby OK?". At which point I nearly fall the hell outta my chair because this woman had to be either a size 0 or a -2. She must have looked like she was smuggling soccer balls when the kid was inside... But I digress...

Because a couple of minutes later I see some fine chocolate walked up in the office and go to the sign in sheet. I thought she was another student until she called my name. So I followed her (with a slight grin) right past my own advisor and to her office. So already my day is better. I tell her about the registration process nearly making me lose my religion last night. So we dig into the transcript and did a quick audit of the classes.

One of the classes I don't have to take because it isn't offered any more. Cool! Three fewer credits and nearly a grand saved! Another I had passed and as long as I bring a B in another course, it should even out if it isn't already. The class I was registered for I did indeed pass previously, so one more off the list of those needed...
My Physics course grade never got submitted for whatever reason so... I am taking Chemistry! It was a Physics course for Physics majors, so the professor told me at the time, an it was mind bending! Fuck that! Not doing that again! Then again... Scratch that! They would require me to be on campus three days for an hour and TOO early for me to take Chemistry! I am taking Astronomy!!! And it is a web class!!!
I figured out which computer course I actually needed last night. I just needed to see how many credits I had to take to get there. So the 2 credit class is registered for...
And my Systems Analysis class is registered for because I stunk that one up bad before!
The capstone course for the Business school, Business Policy, needs advisor approval and it wasn't open at the time. But they may make you manually register for that one... The Software Tools for Business Applications and Information Systems Policy and Management classes are only Winter term classes.

So that leaves four business courses, one computer science course and one natural science course and I am DONE! Three and Three (barring surprises) and I am out!

School Madness

I must be getting old. And I am not so eager to start classes suddenly. I say these things because I am still not really registered for classes. I spent like four hours yesterday playing around with things. I was trying to find the non-existent class my advisor gave me. I then realized that she told me to take a different class that I already passed. I was attempting to reconcile the needed classes from the bulletin with the missing classes on my transcript. I came to the realization that half of the damn classes I need are either offered NEXT term or currently closed. ALL of my damn classes will be at night since the one I already took was the lone daytime class. These night classes are gonna cause a serious problem for me since carrying firearms in dorms and classrooms is illegal in Michigan. But riding busses at night in my neighborhood unarmed is not really all that smart. And no car... OH yeah. I almost forgot, there are two classes on my transcript I need to readdress but one doesn't seem to exist anymore and the requirements seem to be changed regarding the other...

Forgive me if you pass by me today and I seem to look confused.

Anyway, lemme shut the hell up and get my ass to her office so we can get this shit cleared up. Cause I REALLY don't wanna deal with Late Registration.

Damn! And it is raining...

At least my financial aid papers are filled out and submitted. I sure hope they don't give me these kinda problems...

What's On My Mind...

See if you can pick out the common theme in this play list. This is the next thing I am considering putting on my plate...

A Little Thrill

I have been an M.I.A. Student at the Wayne State University School of Business for almost 14 years now. Why? Because we usually go to college to get a career. My career found me mid semester in 1993. I was enrolled in the Professional Development Program at a large IT employer in the area. This was a class and a job at the same time. On numerous days I would arrive before 8 in the morn and not leave until 9 that evening. Which made it rather hard to make those three hour classes three evenings a week. I learned to be a work-a-holic then. I have had the good sense to forget though...

After the program ended, I was put on assignments in Michigan that had me traveling to at least an hour each way to go to work. So the classes didn't get picked back up. When I finally did manage to get assigned close to the city, life happened. Fell in love, became a home owner and a family man. You know, grown man shit. As I said, life happened. And here I sit 14 years later without a bachelor's degree that I started my quest to find in 1985!

Yesterday I went to speak to my academic advisor. I had been in contact with her over the last couple of years. Trying to make progress. I have been out long enough that things have changed. So I needed to get a new plan of work to determine what was needed to finish my quest. I still don't have that. But all the paperwork and transcripts and readmission thingies have been submitted. Much to her surprise. The plan of work will take a couple of weeks to process since it is spin up to the fall semester. And she wanted to make sure that every thing was cool since I have been in that particular school since 1988.

Four good things I found out as a result of that meeting:

1. She said that there may be some requirements that I don't need to take because of my ancient admission date. Cool. Even less than I might imagine is needed.
2. Since all of my readmission stuff is out of the way, I can register for fall classes.
3. A query by me to determine the approximate number of credits needed for graduation, barring surprises on the plan of work is...16!!!
4. If I jump on things, I can have an answer about my financial aid package in about 2 weeks! About a week after the semester starts!!!!!

Needless to say I had a nice little bounce in my step. Even enough to erase the fact that I had just dropped off $16 in late library books!

I don't know where the hell all the money is coming from, but dammit I am gonna be in somewhere between 2 and 5 classes come next week!!! Now book money is a whole different story...