Sorry I had to do it to you! You know I hate comment verification as much if not more than you! But the spammers seem to be the only ones who come by on the regular these days. And fuck them!
So in the future, comments will require verification. Sucks, I know. But I tire of deleting bullshit comments that have absolutely nothing to do with what is going on up in here!
But as always, love.
I meant to do this one sooner but well... I been procrastinating. Okay, I actually been studying (see Ladylee!).
I was at my Anthropology class. It had just ended and I was on my way home. My wife called me just as I entered the men's room. So I kinda drifted to the business section. I hung back since it was a two handed job and I didn't wanna crowd the two guys there. My wife tends to stay on the phone so the other guys finished up and left. I was all alone. So I drifted over to the urinals. I picked out the one that was going to service my needs.
Sidebar: Urinal etiquette
I have to take this little sidebar to explain the unspoken mantiquette about taking a piss in a public restroom. First a picture...
This is essentially the same setup as the restroom in question. Mantiquette says that if they are all empty, pick one on the edge. Because if someone comes in while you are in mid stream, you don't want him to have to do his thing next to you. In other words leave an empty one between if possible. Usually if the ones on the end are filled, either wait until one frees up, or if you are really pressed, use the middle one. That is how it usually goes.
Returning to the story. At this point I have selected the on on the far end next to the wall. I flushed it to make sure the water was as clean as possible before I did my thing. Don't want no backsplash from other people's wastewater. I don't have the longest arms in the world so I wasn't standing too far away. As I am finishing up my call, I notice this guy walk up into the joint. Now I just knew this dude saw me and had already decided to either use a toilet or the urinal to the right of the picture, as dictated by mantiquette. Imagine my horror when he walked past the first urinal he arrived at (on the right). He stopped to inspect the middle urinal. Now mind you I am within arms reach of the one on the left. This was a breach or mantiquette!
Well... The show didn't stop there. No, no, nonono! This nasty, troll looking, dirty ass, low born, unhometrained, ratty ass muthafucka took it to another level!!! Cause dude took a sidestep to the left!!!! I know y'all already had the picture formed of what things looked like BEFORE he rolled up. So you can imagine what it looked like NOW!!! Y'all remember the Chilisauce move The Time did in during Jungle Love in Purple Rain? @ 2:36 in the video below (I won't take the clip out of the video so you can enjoy the whole thing...)
Geronimo’s Heirs Sue Secret Yale Society Over His Skull See! Them damn Bush men have been at it for years!!!
You know I told myself a while back to back off on the really personal shit. For various reasons. But today I am mad as hell and am literally about ready to MurderDeathKill some anonymous muthafucka right now!!!
Apparently some "person" (I'll be nice) called Adult Protective Services and made a complaint that Mom is being abused, taken advantage of, not fed, not cared for, and living in generally filthy conditions. And somehow the dog became an issue too! That really burns my ass near to the point of tears!!! Now my regular readers already know the situation about Mom's TEAM of folk and their various contributions. But DAMN!!! That was a plain affront to my entire existence. Especially since that shit was a bunch of damn lies!
My damn name ain't Hazel but I would hardly call the joint filthy. Her needs are taken care of whenever she needs or asks. I gotta fight with her to get food in her half the damn time. She don't eat enough for my tastes, but it ain't my stomach... Abuse? Bitches please!
The dog came up in this statement: "the grandson and his dog moved in and is taking advantage of her" Where this comment came from is way beyond me. But it sure as hell isn't true. The dog is mine. The dog has been here since before she moved back in. I ain't a grandson. One grandson spends his time with his baby-momma (to be, too late for Father's Day though...), the other is a minor and is the one who cleans the most and helps out with her the most. She knows what is going on with her money, her meds and the general state of things around her. And I make sure she is aware of things, even when she ain't that interested... So that doesn't even have a grain of truth in it.
I could rant on for days but...
I talked to the APS worker earlier. She had an occasion to speak with Mom's nurse and physical therapist. They seem to have debunked the claims that were made to start this whole thing. The APS worker doesn't feel there is a need to come out for a visit. But I could still kill the bitch that gave her a reason to want to. My Mom don't do nothing to nobody. Why try to get her dragged out of her home and thrown into a nursing facility? How does stressing and depressing someone with hypertension issues helpful?
Anyway.
Sorry y'all had to go through this, but I blog to vent. So you asked for it! And I have yet one more reason to want that Sig P250. I may even have a naming party when I get it!
I am done ranting now. Please scroll down to the more lighthearted fare I served up for ya earlier!
Seems that the Mayor of Detroit lied (under oath) about some text messages related to an extra-marital affair.
I was gonna get off into this one but it ain't gonna stop people from being nosy as hell anyway. What is the use? My own personal view is that if his wife accepted his apologies and stayed with him, who the hell am I to have shit to say beyond that.
But apparently it is BIG news here in Detroit. It may even be national. I mean it ain't like he got caught smoking crack in a hotel or anything...
How big is the news you ask? Check this shit out! Look at the NUMEROUS related stories. If you read it today look at the front page!
I am officially outraged up in here today!
Why?
Bullshit and greed!
Over what?
You ain't been paying attention!!!!
Gasoline prices are higher'n shit! That should be no surprise to anyone who has been awake in America (or the world) the last three years. But my particular beef is with the fact that in the home of the American motor car we are paying the THIRD highest rates in the entire country!!!! I was recently on the website www.fuelgaugereport.com checking out the prices of gas along a soon to be traveled route. What I found out is that we are paying (on average) almost a quarter more than our next nearest neighbor! Michigan $3.26! Ohio $3.03! WTF!!!!??!?!?!? Is that any way to treat the people most likely to design a new gas guzzler? Or folk who like riding solo in cars? Where is the love?
Make me wanna holla! Throw up both my hands. And my gas can.
I need my bike dammit!!!!
Anybody who knows me in blogland also know that I will put a sista on blast quick as hell for claiming that most/all black men are gay or downlow. And I done had to blast some of my favorites too. Because such an attitude offends me since I am black, male and don't want anything to do with anybody else's dick!
That said...
What the damnfukkinhail is wrong with these dudes born roughly after I graduated from high school? That is 1985, or the stone age, for those uninitiated... I am riding in the car with the wife on yestereve. I see a group of young cats strolling their dumb asses in front of us. On the sidewalk, in the street, on folks grass. Completely ignoring the fact that even a little import car will make roadkill out of all but the biggest of nukkas. Eh-knee-way! I notice the stupidest of them all in the group. Or should I say the gayest? This tired rudy-poo ass muhfugga had the unmitigated gall to be walking down the damn street using his damn HAND for a belt! And not a good one at that! This sorry sumbitch had on some blue silky draws! I know this because his ENTIRE ass was OVER his pants. What I mean by ENTIRE ass is the same thing that Della Reese meant in Harlem Nights. The whole gotdayum thing! AND he had the nerve to have his wifebeater bunched up on TOP of his damn ass! WHAT. THA. FUCK. !?!?!?!?!?
I wonder if he or any of these other damn fools know how fruity that shit looks? I would expect that shit from say my dear departed Uncle (Aunt) Lynn (the most flamboyant muhfugga I EVA met). But from these little wanna be hoodlums who talk more shit than a cow farm and think they are harder than a safe door? Come on! Who the hell didn't give them the memo? Back when I was their age it was embarrassing for anyone to even know what color your draws were! You got mad if they even guessed "white" (95% chance) and got that shit right! Where is the self-respect?
I am pisstt. Now I am gonna have daymares about exposed Smurf ass and shit! To steal from one of my blog family. Hey dumb Smurf ass boy, go kill yaself!
I was recently directed (blindly) to a site dedicated to downing ethnic folk. More important it was a... how can I say this delicately? A Nigger Hating site!
The only thing I gotta say about it is this: There are some dumb fucking white people in this world who have been scraped off the bottom of a shit stomper's shoe.
What the hell is wrong with these telemarketers? Why they almost make you have to act up before they will hang up tha damn phone?
Telemarketer: Hello, I have a deal for you. Blah, blah, blah...
TSSE: * silence *
Telemarketer: You have been selected blah, blah, blah...
TSSE: Um...
Telemarketer: ...best rate around blah, blah, blah...
TSSE: ::: interrupting ::: Do you have a number where I can call YOU? I am into something right now.
Telemarketer: ::: stumbles and mumbles for a minute ::: We sent you out a letter with our number a few days ago. But, blah, blah, blah...
TSSE: ::: interrupting again ::: So should I go look for this letter or am I taking your number?
Telemarketer: blah, blah, blah, yeah we sent the letter with the number a few days ago. You should have that by now. Blah, blah, blah...
TSSE: ::: interrupting yet again ::: Okay, I will look for that! YOU HAVE A NICE DAY NOW!!!
Telemarketer: You too sir...
I know folk got a job and all but when someone tells you that they don't have the time at the moment, hang the hell up!!! Just gonna keep talking and all. Are they trained to think that it is my JOB to listen to them do their job or something? It ain't that I am not interested necessarily. But can I be interested on my own damn time?
I am...
...back y'all. The stories of my untimely demise are to be delayed as long as I can manage it. The hospital didn't keep me. I guess I can be a little less afraid of going in the future. Blood pressure was high. They gave me some pills to bring it down. Prescribed me a water pill to hold me over until I can get someone on the job full time. My sugar was normal. I was glad to hear that since my meter has been acting up lately. Gotta get me another one/backup. By the way if you are diabetic, you can get meters for cheap (even free) if you check the pharmacies for deals. The test strips are a whole different story! That is where you go broke!!!! The sinus problems seems to be clearing up itself. Damn jinky ass weather been messing with everybody! So I actually left there feeling quite okay about myself. Now if I can only find my PCP's phone number. I guess I will have to use this newfangled Internet thing to find it. Wish me luck! LOL!
...sorry y'all. To everyone who felt a moment of worry. I especially apologize to my wife and my mother. To my wife because I had the freakin' unmitigated gall to get mad at her for dimin' me out to my mom about my less than healthy condition. To my mom for me walking into the room and feeling conspired against. To my sister for the same reason as my mom. That was the most spontaneous intervention I ever heard of. But I was really mad at myself and realized that QUICKLY. Me trying to blame them for being concerned was just plain idiotic. My psychosis runs deep y'all. But that is a whole different post! Needless to say, I got over myself within 10 minutes or so.
...NUTZ!!!! But I guess you already know that if you got this far! Maybe I oughta change up and let the lower head drive for a while. It at least doesn't get confused and doesn't mind making the hard decisions. Maybe I should trust it to lead me into the future. Hmm... 3.5 dirty jokes. Maybe I am feeling better...
...ending this post now. I gotta stop writing all of these books...
You know, I just spent the last 20 minutes looking for my missing list of "reminders" that I made for myself this year. You know, the "New Years Revolutions" (No, not resolutions...) Anyway, why the hell somebody done moved my paper? I put something on my desk, why can't it stay there? If it weren't for a nervy muhfugga, I would be sharing right now!!! They were good too. All related to my Myspace.me post. If I find them, I will share.
Somebody trying to steal my internet y'all!!! What the fuck is up with that? Lemme back up and 'splain before I start accusing my neighbors of some shit!
Today when I arose. I walked down yonder stairs and noticed something strange. There were five, count them: one, two, three, four, FIVE, green lights on my router! That was the first time I had ever seen such a thing. In fact I thought that it was only a myth that my router had such capability since I have NO wireless devices in house. I would have but my irresponsible 17 year old "lost" her $250 PSP, supposedly IN the house. That aside, my computer is hooked up via good ol' cat 5 cable. That explains light #2. Light #1 being power, #3 being DSL connection and #4 logged into the ISP. The fifth powered light signified an ACTIVE wireless connection to the router. Since I had no wireless devices, I never bothered with the wireless settings before. So by default the settings for the wireless ports were open.
Well seems some damn ghetto tripe done been all up in my shyt! I naturally punched the ejector button on my computer chair that was being inhabited by my nephew getting his Internet Pimpin' on. The ejector button of course being my right thumb pointed to the heavens over a closed fist. I promptly logged into the router's setting page, clicked the wireless settings and turned off the free wi-fi hotspot that I had so graciously been providing. Then asked Internet Pimp how long has that light been on? He said since yesterday. This of course perplexed me because it wasn't on while I was out here harassing all of you last night. Apparently the jacker in question sleeps normal hours or something. Not a vampyre like mahself.
If I didn't find that so funny that it happened I would be pissed as hell! That and I unwittingly allowed it to happen... But still... I am gonna have to find out the real range on my router to figure out who done been jacking my beats! Hell if the RIAA gonna send the FBI after me then it is gonna be for songs I stole dammit!!!! Got my eye out the window now. Wondering who done done me wrong! Other nephew and his new phone? Some kid with a laptop? Somebody else? Hmmm.... I DO see some car parts I could use...betta not be you homeboy!
I just had an epiphany. Apparently I am not as far in the ghetto as I thought I was.
Why do people think that it is okay for them to intrude on your private time with their trivial problems? I write this blog to clear my head. Why somebody wanna interrupt me with a story about somebody else clean across town with car and money problems that have nothing to do with me at all? What the hell is wrong with my world? Now my head done got all full back up with shyt again. And I was just about to flush too...
