The Verge of an Epiphany. Or a Dawning Realization...

Sometimes in life you come to the realization that you had things right all along. but for some reason you decided to change up, probably to get along with folk better. But I am realizing I had it right way back when I was a kid. But to be more social, I started talking to people. I thought it to be the right thing. But at times it doesn't feel right. Likely because I waste life doing so. I have lately been finding myself less willing to engage in conversations because I tire of the ill use of my time on this planet.
This is A Boondocks Example of how things go at times.

Another example is a recent conversation with my son.
Him: I guess I am not appealing to women.
Me: Um. Do you mind being a little more specific so that we BOTH know what we are talking about?
Him: She (his girlfriend) said that she didn't think I would look right buff and now she changed her mind.
Me: Why?
Him: I saw a comment she made on Facebook about one of her friends. He was all buff and she said "Lookin' good!!!" So now she thnks I would look okay buffed up.
Me: ... (I can imagine you know what I am thinking...)
Him: I guess I don't understand women.
Me: No man really does.
Him: But why?
Me: Okay. Pay close attention. I am gonna tell you, and it's important.
Him: Okay.
Me: They are all crazy!
Him: But why?
Me: Why is it important for you to know why they are crazy?
Him: I guess so I can figure them out.
Me: Trust me, you won't. All you need to do is accept that they are crazy and then you will be able to adjust to things properly.
Him: That doesn't help much.
Me: It will, you just have to spend a little time working it out in your mind.
Him: Ah forget it. I don't really care what she does any more. mumble, mumble, mumble (as he is walking off)
Me: Hold up! That's it? You just walk off in the middle of the convo?
Him: I thought we were done?
Me: Really? How did you get that idea? Did we agree that everything was said? Or one of us said that we were done?
Him: No. But I said I don't care any more so I thought we were done.
Me: You saying that was expressing a thought. It wasn't us ending the conversation.
Him: I thought it did...
Me: I take it YOU are done.
Him: Yeah, I don't wanna talk about it.
Me: Fine! I mean it is rude as hell to walk the hell off when somebody is talking to you. Especially when YOU started it. Ask some damn body else the next time you need advice!

Needless to say that I learned more from this conversation than he did.

Yet another example:
My wife's sister finally got hitched. We thought it never would happen so I only really started believing it after BOTH said "I Do". Now if you even halfway get along with your sister, this would be one of the happiest days in your life. Especially if you were IN the wedding. At least that is my perspective on it. And this is whether or not the sister is being a bridezilla. Yet on this very happy day, my wife is in tears. The next day when I asked her why I was walking around pissed off without being aware of the ACTUAL reason, she replies "nothing". Hmm... two lies in one. Obviously "nothing" is not the problem. And a lie of omission at the same time. So now I get really pissed at her. She was willing to drop some not so veiled references to what was on her mind at the reception and on the ride home. Yet when asked about it, I get "nothing". I get that answer often when I ask her what is bothering her. I am on the verge of not asking any more since it is a waste of my life.

What I can gather is that some foul shit was said to her during her time with the bridal party especially in the previous week (the wedding was on Saturday). Knowing them, a lot of it was about me. This to me is mind boggling since:

1. I treat her family better than they treat me.
2. I treat her family better than she treats mine.
3. The stuff that they supposedly don't like me for are bad things that happen to my life and not actually bad things that I am doing to her.
   

So. I guess I better start listening to the eight year old in me and keep my damn mouth shut, stay to myself and give back only what I get from folks. I am not predicting that it will make things better. For that matter, I don't believe that it will make things worse.

BUT it will keep me from wasting time talking to folk who don't want to hear what I have to say. No matter how bad it may go for them...

A Thought From Facebook

"You know, I am looking at my friends list. I am slightly surprised at the size of it. I am surprised because I haven't always been the most gregarious person. Yet for such a loner, I have a fairly large list. And these are just the ones I found on Facebook! I have some memory of everyone in the list. I guess you never realize how many people have touched your life until you see them all together!"

This was a little something that occurred to me while I was roaming around on my Facebook page earlier. The thought popped into my mind when I realized that the 152 people are only percentages. 82 relatives most of whom represent only ONE of my grandparents and their relatives. And they are only a part of the group as a whole. And still not all of the ones on Facebook I suspect.

About a dozen and a half of classmates from middle and high school years. A drop in the bucket considering the numbers of that population. Another dozen and a half of so of folk met in blogville. I still don't have everyone in the bloggerfam up in there. This is the largest percentage on FB for the population. And I have yet to meet one in person. Aside from Six that is. Known her all her life! As yet I have found no one from my college years.

But if you add all the folk together that have passed through you life who were not one time meetings, the list can get quite big. My own list would likely be over 500. Even more if you include all of the younger relatives I haven't met.

Wow.

I Now Officially Hate The 'Burbs!

Yep. I said it. I am officially hating on the suburbs like never before. As some of you may know, I am currently living life on the "other side". The other side of Eight Mile Road. If you are from Metro Detroit, I need not explain. For the rest of you, it means I done moved to the 'burbs and went all bougie on ya asses! Wasn't my intention. But since the school was helping my son's better than the others, we decided to keep him in the school he was in when we got back together.

Fast forward to now. I ain't mad at the convenience of having things nearby. 7-11s. Tim Hortons. Supermarkets. Pharmacies... You get the idea. None of that stuff is close in the hood. I am good with having things close, even if they do close early.

No.

My problem is that I got my old ass "If Lance Armstrong can get back on his bike after three years and finish on the podium at the hardest bike race in the world, I can ride mine too" self up and went on a one hour tour. A one hour tourrrrr..... The weather started getting up... Oh. I digress...

Eh-nee-way!

I got on my bike. I started exploring the neighborhood and nearby environs. What I call my turn and burn sessions. Turn a few corners, burn a few calories. At random of course. This particular day, called today, I ventured west. Turn and burn as I said is random and usually in the depths of the neighborhood. Now I have seen some nice houses in these parts. The street I am on now is quite nice in fact. BUT... There is some really nice real estate in these parts. But I hit northeast Southfield. And I am completely dissatisfied with everything I lived in and everything I thought to live in to date (with the exception of The Dream House...). I recently found an old friend who I hadn't seen in years nearby. He was not far from me or the area just explored. I remarked that I liked the house and neighborhood he was in. I got to see a lot of it because I got a little turned around trying to find him. Really nice stuff, but not exceptional to my eye. Well this stuff was exceptional.

Tree lined streets. Circular drives. 3000+ square feet. Quiet as you please. And most importantly no nigtasticalness! And one was even for sale! I thought that I had found Shangri-la or Atlantis or something! And it was hiding right under my nose! Hidden within the confines of roads I travel often! I know I am sounding all gushy over something that might be somewhat blah to others. But it was damn near a life changing moment for me. For a second I thought I heard someone say "I HAVE to get THAT house" But I was alone. I had let that escape my lips aloud. That NEVER happened before unless I was looking at a mansion. Like the dream house...

Suddenly the new digs looked a little less charming. The neighborhood a bit less fetching. I remarked to The Wife upon returning from my ride, "You know we live in a nice looking ugly neighborhood."

My point? I now officially hate the 'burbs. Why? Because they made me want to STAY!!! But in a bigger and better house!

Side note: I looked up the price of that house that was for sale. $240,000! A touch steep if you ask me considering the housing market I bought in. BUT, for the first time spending nearly a quarter of a million bucks on a house doesn't seem all that crazy to me.

Hmm...

Damn 'burbs.

Oh and screw you to all the folk who live in the pricey market places who are laughing at me right now. Not everybody lives in a place where you spend $100k on a shack with no view!