The Cool Kids

I got to hang with the cool kids this weekend. Of course if my chillens were reading this, they would think this was SO about them. I mean I hung with them too. Back to school shopping and such. Even though they ran The Wife straight up a wall by acting like they could hardly be bothered. And she had the money to shop like she wanted to this time. Damn shame when you gotta ask folk SEVERAL times if they want something. But then again, that means we did something right since they aren't all stuck on the acquisition of goods and such.

But since this isn't about them. The Wife might think I am talking about her. Since I did hang out with her and she most definitely the coolest kid I know. For obvious reasons...

But this ain't about her either.

This is about the new additions who spent a little quality time with me this past weekend.

Brandon Deon II

This is my great nephew. Getting a little spoil and nap in. He was feeling a little fussy since he HATES to be laying down. I think those women done spoiled him already!!! Dangit! They done ruin't him in three weeks time! I can see me and he are gonna have to spend a little time together. No use in it getting outta control to the point of the woodshed!

Anaya Princess Marie

This little darling was the new arrival that I mentioned back in April. This was taken when she decided that my head was too tempting a target for her NOT to be in. Seems she figured out how to get my attention. An impromptu head massage from a woman is never a bad thing! Although I could have done without the drool on my scalp...

Kurn the Spoiled

This is Dog. He acts special like this often. Caught him napping on this one. No chips so there was no entertaining video to share this time. But then again, look at him. Did I really need video?

Stupid Is...

I swear these people are sapping my desire to interact with humanity.

I now have a new definition for the thing that I hate most.
My original:
Stupid: being dumb, retarded, idiotic or generally not having synapses fire ON PURPOSE!

The new one:
Stupid: young + dumb

An older one:
Stupid: being dumb as hell for no good damn reason!

I say this because:
I am the keeper of the treasury for mom. I became this person because she has trusted others to do things for her since she became disabled. Those others were not very respectful of her funds. So I was entrusted to guard the funds. So now they have to con her out of them to get at her stuff.

So, both nephews have something in the cooker today. Late last night she asks me to get some dough for gas so the older nephew can run errands for her. I tell her that I will gas him up the next day instead or robbing the ATM at midnight.

The younger nephew yells up my stairs and awakens me for the second time this morn. The first being when my sister rescheduled a visit by a caseworker from tomorrow morn at 10 to today at 9. Of course she didn't mention that to anyone. So the woman spent unnecessary time standing at the door in the hot sun knocking. And neither I nor mom were awake at the time. Hence the need for the "older" definition above.

As I said, the second time was because my younger nephew was trying to awaken me out of a sound sleep where I awoke feeling somewhat less than stellar. So it took me a few. Still recovering in fact. I finally make it down the steps. I make coffee. Somehow the older nephew walks right past me and goes to yell up the stairs. Getting no response, he walks back to the kitchen. He notices me sitting with mom in my usual coffee drinking place. He says "Oh, you already down here" and walks off. So a few minutes later I go check the status of the brew. I notice him sitting in the chair with his usual evil ass face on. I go in the room to mess with him in my usual fruitless pursuit of being nice to folk with problems. I make an off handed joke about how the screen saver he is staring at is "gripping". No response. So the convo went like this after that...
"What is wrong?" (dumb ass me, for giving a damn and asking...)
"I'm late" (his evil ass)
"Late? For what? And why are you sitting in that chair?"
"Well, I am gonna be late. I might as well say I am late already."
"Why?"
"I need to go to the gas station so I can go take Swole (the baby momma) to the doctor"
"Ah" (understanding dawns as he is pissed because he been waiting on me)
"If you are in a hurry why the hell didn't you say anything?"
:: crickets ::
"Well don't you think you should be getting up outta that chair and getting on your way?" said whilst waving the $20 spot I had in his face.
He takes it and still looks evil.
"You ain't that serious about not being late still sitting in that damn chair! And how the hell am I supposed to know you got plans if you don't say shit to me? This could have been done if I had known what was up"
Especially since I was about to get his ass up so I could be back in time for coffee time. But his way fucks up the program and the cheddar gets distributed wrong...
"And Granny needs XYZ, could you cop that while you are out and about?"
"Is this ($20) for that and the gas? I gotta go way over to Greenfield and then to Highland Park!"
"Nehmind, I will get it later myself!"

So folk, if I don't have anything nice to say about these folks, don't wonder why. This ain't the first time I had this conversation with him. Or the one about the unwanted sharing of the entertainment with both of them. Or any conversation that I didn't regret having with my sister.

I may make the news yet!

Kidz Izz Funnee!

Okay, this one is good.

The kids decided to have a three way Geekfest. So Saturday was a day out for me. Because The Wife is HORRIBLE at driving to unfamiliar places and is stubborn to the point of not learning places just because she don't wanna go there, ever. Like on the East Side. So of course since she was driving, she comes to grab her favorite GPS device. Me! And off we go. Had a little lunch while waiting on the third child in the outing to meet up, my big little cousin The Geekmaster. He rode the bus to the spot. And we located him right around the time we finished eating. Turns out he arrived early and stared the Geekfest without the other two. He was already reading and belatedly noticed a text that was asking his whereabouts.

The Boy, The Girl and The Geekmaster went to Barnes and Noble and hung out in the Anime section until they got booted out at closing time. Then they strolled over to the library for the same until that closed. Then they came to the crib and gathered around the computer and watched various episodes of different animated series. The Geekfest went on until about an hour or two after midnight.

During the drive across town they talked about all geeky things anime, hentai and manga and whatever else Japanese and cartoony. Then the discussion turned to The Boondocks. We were all fans and had a rolling quote fest. When suddenly, I spied with a disbelieving eye, THIS place...

go ahead and click the link, I will wait...

Okay, so the conversation went like this...
TSSE: Oh hail naw!!!
The Wife: What?
TSSE: The Male Box?
The Wife: Where
TSSE: Ova There --->

The adults start giggling uncontrollably at the sheer blatancy of it all.

The Wife: I wonder if Charles Pugh is in there...
The Girl: OH! starts laffin'

At this point the two boys are completely bewildered.

The Boy and The Geekmaster: WHAT?
TSSE: The M-A-L-E Box?
The Wife: You know with the male symbol on the sign?
The Girl: Uh hello! Charles Pugh?
Now the car falls into quiet giggles from three of us. You can positively hear and smell the synapses burning, three seconds pass, when suddenly:
The Boy and The Geekmaster: OOOOOOOhhhhhh!!!! Uhhhggghhhh!!!!
The Boy: That's a gay bar?
TSSE: The M-A-L-E Box? Where would you put your money on that bet?

Now the whole car is DYING LAFFING!
TSSE: Dang! Y'all slow!
The Girl: Could you see their faces if they just strolled up in there as dumb as they are now? (sisters are so mean!)
The Wife: (between guffaws) Y'all stop it, I can't drive like this!
The Boy: Uh, No thanks!
The Geekmaster: I was like, did they just say? Charles Pugh... Is that a?

Needless to say, their thickness provided us with many more minutes of fun at their expense. Especially from The Girl!

For those not in the know read about Charles Pugh. Yeah he graduated from the same ghetto ass high school as I did! I am proud of him! Even if he put somebody else's interview on TV that night that my back made the evening news!

The Blog Harem: Redux

As promised, I said I would readdress the Blog Harem. There were others who deserved a little more time. Well that time has been spent! So I am adding those truly worthy to the club! Yep! Just like the Stanley Cup! The Blog Harem grows and adds fame. Just engrave another ring, sit it on the bottom behold the new bigger trophy!

The Second Ring Sexies:
Minerva Exertion - It seems she likes to mess with me. Especially tempting fate and the Skrait Razor. But more important, I like when she says Bullshuckey! Here's to ya! A bag of Purple M&M's!

CapCity - Any chick who loves pussy this much (her own) is definitely part of the In Crowd with me! And she gets real excited when she meets other bloggers. That HAS to be good right?

The Addict - You gotta throw one in there who knows something about sports. And collecting her checks from the cable sports leader puts her firmly in that special seat. And somebody else gotta be able to talk sports with The Wife... Now I just gotta figure who she been seeing that keeps her from blogging...

BorednTalkative - Ahh an accent good enough to fantasize over. But more important, anybody who can come by and blog jack me endears herself to me to no end...

Thoughts of a Southern Gal - Or should I say Thoughts of a Country Gal. Because I don't care how many people move to Little Rock, it will still be country! And she also is the special guest ringer. Her Arkansas heritage might appeal to The Wife's second generation Arkansas heritage. Hence helping to ease everybody else in without too much trouble!

Still Pocahontaz - Most likely to provide a Hot Ghetto Mess moment while maintaining her boughieness. (What? I mean that in a good way!) This star never struggles to shine! Even with them ghetto ass neighbors...

Tom_Gurl - She talks funny and I like it. I guess because she got True Brit!
(Not funny? Hell YOU aint' funny all the time either!!!)
Of course she is my teacher too. I am learning a new language. I think it is called JamEnglish...

Dreamy - She is all bubbly and cute. Okay she is gonna be a cop and I need an insider because of my slughurler obsession. But that cute thing is good too!

And a Special Old School Tribute goes to:
Ruthie Ann - She a hot mess! You met her yet? Of course this in no way means I am applying for the recently vacated Sugar Son position...

And I feel the need to add a disclaimer here. If for some reason I don't show up here for a few days after this. The Wife may have killed me. Not my fault for liking the ladies. But she might do it anyway. So if I go MIA then you know to get looking! I mean, you all wouldn't want to end up in a lesser harem would ya?

The Blog Homies

These are the dudes who I likely will always be down for:

• A good beer swillin' time!
• A night of Wenchin' N' Whorin' (theoretically)
• Rantin' N' Ravin' in general
• Just hanging out in the venues appropriate to each...

Tha Real World:
Profit J - Yin to my Yang. Frick to my Frack. Hanging buddy supreme. The best friend I could imagine and one of my most fave cousins. You saw him in a pic to the right a few days ago...

MotorHo - My brotha from anotha motha like the dude above. The one who shares my two wheeled addictions and my tightest from damn near the start.

Old Sarge - Separated early in life, we caught back up in no time. Right until Uncle Sam claimed him for world travel. We shall get caught up again. Just with less hair. Also seen in that same pic.

Tha Blog World:
Freaky Deaky - My Detroit blogging counterpart. Accomplice to the madness. The only guy who can do a Fuck It rant that impresses me to no end. Especially since they are better than mine! A dude who would probably appreciate the list of things above, if he can get over that somewhat antisocial streak...

The Brown Blogger - This dude at times is so much like me I think I wrote the post instead of him. Never afraid to hold our feet to the fire to get us going. He leaves things better for having questioned them. His evolution and self honesty makes me hopeful and proud.

Terry (up in The Cheap Seats) - A noble thinking warrior wrapped up in a scotch drinking, stogie puffing package. A dude with a thoughtful but honest perspective on things that at times leaves me speechless. Now if them rss feeds can get fixed...

To all of the above dudes I salute you with a good tankard, a fat stogie and a comely wench! Whether they be real, imagined or potential. Here's to all of you!

Happy Birthday Mom!!!

Sorry y'all. That is the only picture you are gonna get. The other one got most definitely vetoed...