Today I have resolved to get with a list of the following:
Some of this
Some of this
Some of this
Some of this
Some of this
Some of this
Some of this
AND Some of this
I have to say, it be a good day!
Oh yeah!
And
April Fool's Muhfuggas!!!!!!!!
Baby Got Back - Sir Mix A Lot - I like big butts and I can not lie!
Faithfully - Journey - The main reason for my first purchase of a prerecorded cassette tape.
G Funk Intro - Snoop Doggy Dogg and The Lady of Rage - Freaknic '94, road trip, new ride, solo trip. The first cut off the album I played the most on the road.
Aquaboogie - Parliament - It is impossible to be from Detroit and begin to call yourself old school unless there is something from George Clinton and his crazy crew in ya faves. Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop!
Computer Blue - Prince - Still one of my favorite reasons to learn to play the guitar. I may still get around to it...
The Throne Room/End Title - John Williams and the London Symphony Orchestra - This was one of the cuts that really gave me an appreciation of symphonic and classical music. Sure there were all those tunes that we learned about from Bugs Bunny and Woody Woodpecker. But this was when it REALLY started for me. Star Wars!!!!!
Danger Zone - Kenny Loggins - Every favorite movie has a memorable theme song.
The One - Prince - Because I am.
It started off innocently enough. A decent spring day in the old hometown. I was preparing to go and see my girlfriend. She had moved to another city to work after college. I was still doing my student-as-you-can-afford-it thing. You know when you got money, you go. When you don't you work instead. It had been a few months since I had seen her so I was pretty much thrilled about having awakened that day. Even though the train ride was gonna take about half a day, I was still hyped about the trip. I got to get the hell outta town. See places I don't get to see. Be somewhere I don't live. Winter was over and the snow was melting (when isn't that a good thing?), the earth getting warmer and such.
I was getting all my ducks in a row that day. Dropped mom off at work (downtown parking is an expensive mess!) Was packed and picking up the last things before the trip. I decided to stop by a cousin's place who lived in the area. So I found a spot to park and walked up them four double flights of stairs (high ceilings ya know...) to her apartment. We chilled and chatted for about an hour. I then started hearing my empty stomach complain about my mistreatment of it. So I asked cuz if she wanted anything while I was out. Got the order and off I went.
Cuz lived in Cass Corridor. For those not from Tha D, it is a place where you found one of the nicest theaters in the city, a high school where some of the best and brightest of Detroit attended, an elementary school with TRUE international flavor, a homeless shelter or two several bars, a few "short stay" hotels and motels, the projects and at least one cat house. Needless to say, it was a very interesting neighborhood. Since then a casino grew up and the area got cleaned up some and new housing happened. But back in the day, every day was an adventure.
So I jumped in the car and plotted my path to the nearest McFood. Drive straight three blocks to the main drag, bust a left, right on the next big street, cross the freeway and food! Simple right? But did I mention I was in the Cass Corridor at around 10 in the a.m.? I didn't manage to get the three blocks much less busting the left before "it" happened.
I get two blocks and am at a stop sign. I see this girl in a short skirt carrying a back pack. So I immediately think of a cheerleader. Remember high school close by, 10 a.m. and it wasn't the weekend. So I didn't think her being there too unusual for a split second. So I turn my head to check for the traffic that this sign had me stopping for. I see a car or two coming by so while I am waiting my mind starts to ponder the cheerleader. Why do you ask? She wasn't AT the school. The bus lines rode the two adjacent streets. She was walking north and for her to catch a freight she needed to be going either east or west. It was winter break for DPS students. She wasn't in a Pickle Factory cheerleader uniform. So she seemed a little outta place.
My eyes turned back in her direction to make sure no last minute traffic from that direction was coming. And I notice her paying me a little more attention than I thought I rated. This makes me curious and her seeming out of place made me pause a second. Thought she might be in trouble or lost or something. She then starts heading toward me with definite intent. So I am thinking "O.K. damsel in distress time." So I move my hand to the switch to roll down the window so I can listen to the story she is about to lay on me. Before I could roll the window down things got real surreal on me.
Homegirl almost messed up my day! Cause she flashed this little mischievous smile at me and did one of them little shy wave things. And with her other hand pulled up the front of her little cheerleader skirt. Which apparently was the only thing she had on between her waist and her ankles!
Time stopped for me. Either that or I forgot to keep track of the time because I was staring. BUT I do remember that she was light brown like a Nestle's caramel. Her thighs swelled just so right in the middle. You know the kind that taper at the top and the bottom? Yeah them... And her Gateway to Heaven had a neatly trimmed Bermuda Triangle patch that seemed to make me wanna vanish into it. I remember it like it was yesterday. Okay that image is forever burned into my mind and I can't (wouldn't dream of trying to) shake it if I could.
Now I know you are asking how that could possibly ruin a day? Well, let's recap. On my way outta town so money is in pocket. Haven't seen girlfriend in months. I really liked what I saw (a very effective marketing plan she had...) AND I come from a long line of horndogs who take the "be fruitful and multiply" thing as a challenge. Oh yeah, and one of them "short stay" hotels was in spitting distance. Anybody else see the train wreck that was headed my way?
I can only imagine what my face looked like when she did it. I am sure my eyes bugged out and my mouth fell open. Whether it was from shock or desire I am still not clear on. Probably both cause she was rather hot for a "16 year old". But time managed to start back up again and my thought process started moving. More importantly the sudden tightness of my underwear was warning me of the impending train wreck that was STILL walking in my direction! And that thing under her skirt was talking to me like the Borg Queen or something! "I am The Coochie! Lower your resistances and surrender to your desires. I will add your physical and genetic distinctiveness to my own! You will service me! Resistance is futile!"
I had to think fast to avoid falling into that wondrous dark hole. And I couldn't think of shyt to say because she managed to push the right button without saying one damn word. I also knew that I had no desire to talk her out of whatever she wanted to do to me. So talking was out. I could only act to save myself and time was fast running out! So I took action. Lift right foot. Adjust right foot to starboard. Reengage right foot post haste!
Yeah, that's right! I stabbed the hell up outta there! I ain't no fool! And the rumors are true. You heard it but didn't believe it. Yeah, I know, a black man running from pussy. Strange but true! But a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Or choosing your old bush with the many hookups is better than one time new bush. Or something like that.
Of course that encounter left me with an erection that stubbornly did not go away for about an hour. But hey, the big head wins sometimes too. I guess that the little head was protesting and thought to make me suffer for a while. But you know what was on my mind for the next 18 hours don't ya? Of course my girlfriend had to "suffer" for what the girl in the skirt did. I don't recall her complaining much though...
I don't really have much today. At least not yet. So I decided to clean up my draft posts and put the stuff out here. I seem to be approaching post 200! And since them drafts count in the post total, I thought I should clean things up so that the count is correct when it comes! So here are a few things I found entertaining enough to think about making into posts. Enjoy if you got a minute.
I am taking suggestions on the content of # 200 by the way. So get ya thinking caps on.
This right here is some real Dumbshit! All the promise of a wonderful "career" and they get that Ghetto Millionaire Mentality?!?!? (yes there is sarcasm in there...)
What The Fuck is up with this statistic? I mean is there a real reason why folk are wondering why things don't get better in some regards?
Rashan Jamal's stalker! And his stalker's stalker!
Deepnthought's Gangsta Grannies do their thang up in here
YouToldHarpoTaBeatMe's Mini Pimpin and mean muggin'!
You know, I woke up this morning feeling rather good.
Right spry and quite healthy and all. I mean I felt no traces of cold or flu trying to get ahold of me. Didn't have a headache or any other type of body ache. My mood was quite cool in fact. Feeling neither manic or depressed. No breathing problems. No convulsions or seizures. Heart is strong. Man! I feel good!
That water is some good shyt! And it has been ice cold outta the tap too! Wonder if there is anything to the reports from the Associated Press?
The one on the left pretty much says it for me. In many, many ways...
The one on the right is for the once little person who was predicted on my birthday. I know she hates pink, but what the hey! If I gotta suffer, so do she! Besides it IS my birthday so she can be a little girly today! She lucky I don't have a dress for her to wear...
Okay. I didn't have shyt of my own today. So I decided to let Blogger ask 10 random questions. And trust me these are some random ass questions. And the random answers that they inspired!
For your birthday, your aunt gave you a maple syrup dispenser shaped like a rooster. Please write her a thank-you note:
Hey Auntie!!! Thanks for the sticky cock!!!! LMAO!!!!
What did you dream when you ate a spider while sleeping?
Likely about a 20 ounce Porterhouse cooked medium well with sauteed onions and mushrooms, a loaded baked potato with sour cream and bacon and such, broccoli on the side, hot buttery rolls and a good stiff Margarita. Oh yeah, give me a Diet Coke with that please!
You're wearing a sweater that stretches down to your feet. What color belt do you put on?
Um... belt? What you should be asking is am I gonna put on some draws before I leave the house in it!
Your pajamas have duckies on them. Why did you switch from choo-choos?
Because the choo-choos were standing up in the corner , so it was time...
What spells can you cast with magic markers?
You write magic runes with them of course? What idiot came up with this one? What next, what color is red?
If you drive on a parkway why don't they make the whole plane out of that?
Dude! What the fuck were you on when you asked that one? And why the hell didn't I get some?
If you could peer far enough into the night sky, you'd see a star in any direction you looked. When would you sleep?
Um... I can peer far enough. So of course I sleep when ever I am sleepy. Was this one done by the same fact checker who couldn't spell Detroit yet works for a Detroit newspaper? Proofreading IS fundamental!
What's the most amount of sand you've ever had in your swimming trunks?
What? Sand? I thought that said HANDS! This question is suddenly is a lot less interesting...
Your superpower is that you smell like dandelions whenever someone lies. How will you maintain your secret identity?
I wouldn't exactly call that power "super". So I doubt I would be worried about creating a secret identity for that. Besides, what would I call myself, Front-Street Man? Mr. You Cold Busted? Dr. No Fake?
If your whole body were a hot air balloon, would you stop eating spicy food?
Hell no! Besides there are some in my family that would argue that it already IS a hot air balloon. It ain't my fault! The milk is mean to me!
Here is the transfer of a series of my favorite posts from The Truth Is Lamer Than Fiction.
Recently my alignment change has brought about a change in attitude, naturally. With that comes the desire for additional personal and family security. Add that to the fact that I like target shooting, Michigan is a shall issue state and octogenarians aren't even safe anymore. I have decided to get my CCW. The stars of this post are the first round of finalists.
What do you think of them.
Anyone got any advice or recommendations? Aside from telling me not to that is. That would be bad advice...
This is the Sig Sauer P250. I think my prayers have been answered. The whole trouble with deciding on such a thing is finding the right grip and deciding on what caliber is best for your needs. I need be indecisive no more. This baby has a modular construction. So according to the site, you can change the grips by swapping the polymer frame. Of course this is just the minor added benefit. Since you usually get the grip that fits best on initial purchase. But more important is that you can change the caliber on this baby by swapping out the barrel and clip. I don't think ya heard me. You can have this baby in 9mm, .357SIG, .40S&W and .45ACP without having to buy four guns! This is something indeed...
This little gem is the FN Five-Seven. 20 round capacity. Low recoil. Really really nice.
I believe this one is named Stella by my blogger gun buddy J. A Glock 27 in .40 S&W Subcompact.
Springfield XD 45 ACP Compact 4" Polymer (convertible from concealed carry to full size service pistol with 3 extra rounds by switching magazines)
Taurus Millennium Pro PT-145 in .40 S&W
Taurus Millennium Pro PT-145 in .45 ACP
Springfield Armory XD Sub Compact in .40 S&W
Magnum Research Baby Eagle Compact in .40 S&W
Glock 29 in 10 mm
Glock 30 in .45 ACP (larger mag)
Glock 36 in .45 ACP (smaller mag)
Springfield Armory 1911-A1 Ultra Compact in .45 ACP (like the black grips...)
This is the Springfield Armory XD Compact 9mm. Fits real nice in my paws. Hides real nice. Really pleasing character. One sweet shooting gun this is!Well mine anyway. Today was a most unusual day for me. I had not one, but two phone interviews for positions. Usually I only have that many good contacts a year the way things have been going. I hope I haven't hit my quota this year.
The first was a position out of state. Something that sounds fairly permanent. Something that would take me several hundred miles away from here. I got the phone call as expected and had a rather good conversation. The recruiter seemed satisfied that I was possibly a good candidate and I got a warm and fuzzy about the position and the situation. The only problem was that they were a little behind schedule and it would take a few weeks for them to get their ducks in a row.
The second was a position somewhat local but about a 60 - 90 minute commute. This one was through a contract house with a local automotive company. This one did not go at all well. I have never been the teacher type. So describing the nuts and bolts of what I do was never something I did good when it was current. But now I seem to have a case of oldtimers. I knew the concepts she was asking about. I have used and done them many times. I could even picture them in my mind. (yes I do think in pictures a lot). But somehow them pictures didn't translate themselves into me sounding like I knew that stuff. Ah well.
I don't know. Maybe that was a sign. My mind and other forces and entities over my shoulders telling me that it is time for me to get a move on. Well, that was my encounter with heaven and hell today. How was your day?
Sigh... I wish I had won that fintillion dollars last week like that Georgia couple did. The possibility got me to thinking about what my NEW house would look like afterwards. Of course I already have an idea and had shared it previously on "The Truth...". So... I goes a little something like this...
What would you do if you won the lottery and ended up with like a kajillion dollars? mine would go something like this...
The Artist's rendering...
The First Floor...
The Second Floor...
The Upper Bay/Attic...
The Tower Levels...
Floors 3,4,5 & 6
This wonderful thing was found on coolhouseplans.com. The plan number is chp-15546
Yeah, I stole the title. And?
Badass Diva reminded me of a story from the way back when with her story of getting busted in school.
I had always been the kid in the class who ran the grading curve up. The one who took to stuff extra fast and then veged out while everybody else burned out brain cells desperately trying to wrap their minds around new concepts. But since I was the quiet type folk decided it was best not to take that as a reason to harass me.
This particular year was a strange one for me. I had just returned to the school where I had started. It was strange because all of my old friends from K-2 were now 4th graders. I came back as a 5th grader. As you can imagine I was much confused because my folks were now the "little kids". Lunch breaks were timed different and hanging with the "younger" crowd tended to stigmatize you. So much for homecomings.
Damn, the same school that the neighborhood kids would go to IF it were still up! I gotta get my shit together and get the hell up outta this place!!!! But I digress...
Anyway, I tried to make the best of the situation and adjust to my new/old surroundings. But I was bored as hell. Mostly because my teacher didn't seem all that interested in things. Maybe it was just me. I just didn't feel engaged. And the class was (strangely enough) not that large at the time. But there were some characters. And like most classes, the minute the teacher left (which seemed often to me) they cut the hell up. For some reason that just completely offended my sensibilities. So I found myself in a situation where I was alienated from my old friends and my new classmates. As you can imagine, lunch breaks got kinda lonely. So I compensated.
It started out by me strolling home for lunch and heading back to school for afternoon class. But you know how bored kids do. It ended up with me not being in school after lunch. Now I know what you are asking. What the hell was he doing in the afternoon? What I would do is go home, get me something to eat and watch TV. Not just any TV though. In case you haven't been reading up to now, I was the brainy kid. So I watched educational TV. Some days I didn't even waste time getting dressed to leave. Sesame Street started some days and I kept on going.
Of course the party never continues forever. Eventually my mom found out around report card time. She looked at the grades and smiled as usual. Then she turned that sumbitch over and found that I had like 47 half days absent! Now usually that would be the end of a playa. But her mind could not wrap itself around the fact that I had a 3.5 g.p.a. and had missed half of school for two whole months. She was hot! And went to school to find out what the damn deal was. The result of the conference was that she found out I was coming in the morning (most days) and leaving at lunch and not coming back. When she asked how I could be getting such good grades while missing all that school, the teacher was at a loss to explain. So of course she checked out on that ass!
She came home with that ass whoopin' look on her face. I just knew my ass was grass. So she asked me what my damn problem was. I kindly informed her I was bored in school and wanted to come home for lunch. I just "forgot" to go back. So she asked me what was so important at home that I would "forget" to go back to school? "I was watching TV" says I. "TV?!?!?" she bellowed. "Yeah, I would watch Sesame Street, and The Electric Company, and The Math Patrol and this other show where this clown teaches you how to speak French while eating Life cereal" And then I proceeded to conjugate a verb in Francais. Turns out that I was learning grammar, composition, phonics, math, science and a foreign language while skipping school. That along with the fact that I was STILL getting better grades than everybody else kept my ass untanned and my TV privileges uninterrupted.
Of course she made THEM make sure I stayed my ass in school for the afternoons. They got in more trouble than I did strangely enough... If I had been smarter and ate the school lunch before going home she might not have done that since the food wouldn't have been disappearing faster than she expected it to. Ah hindsight...
Didn't have much to post today. At least not yet. So I will leave y'all with a little visual to help you through your day!
I found an excuse! I found one! Somehow them jeans were gonna end up on this site! And I am sure The Wife will appreciate the last pic, even though he seems to be checking out a butt that is even bigger than hers. But he will live to ogle another day too...
Well, I have finally gotten something to work as I wanted it with my new widget. Well I got it to work anyway. I don't like the player too much. It seems it needs a little tweaking. But enough of the griping.
The first pass at creating this soundtrack is complete. I shall add more as I think on what belongs. Some may even change. But hey, people change. So will this soundtrack. And since I am not gonna be lazy about this, a touch of explanation follows.
That's The Way Of The World - Earth, Wind & Fire - These guys and this song represent a piece of my mother's influence and contributions to my eclectic musical tastes. I heard this many a Saturday morning.
You Make Me Feel Brand New - The Stylistics - Same as above, but from my father's sphere of influence. Usually heard with vocal accompaniment if he was/is around.
King Of Rock - Run-DMC
Thriller - Michael Jackson
1999 - Prince - These three songs remind me most of high school. These were definitely the biggest acts in the Detroit area a couple millennia ago. Hell Prince still sells out 8 shows when he comes to town, at the Palace AND The Joe!
The Show - Doug E. Fresh And The Get Fresh Crew - Freshman year at Morehouse, I HATED this damn song!!!! Mostly because I couldn't avoid hearing it to save my life. This is the song most likely to make me think of college life. In retrospect, they were right, I was wrong. This song is the shit!
Children Of The Night - The Stylistics - This song tells the story of my life between my wife and the one who almost was before her. If I had been thinking it would have been what I was listening to whilst riding the nights away...
Seven Days - Mary J. Blige - This song pretty much tells it's own story. I left stopped haunting the night and found my wife. Who was there the whole time.
As - Stevie Wonder - This is the wedding song. The last song that my fiancee heard. The song that escorted my bachelorhood into history. And it says much on it's own.
Be Without You - Mary J. Blige - I guess you could call this one an anthem for my married life. I swear she wrote these two songs for me.
My Favorite Thing - This I would have to say is my favorite song. At least it is now. It supplanted the next song for the top spot. But not by much. Does qualify as tops by somebody I know (sorta).
In The Air Tonight - If you were to ask most folk would tell you this is my favorite. And was for a long time. Mostly because of the sound. The lyrics don't really apply to my situation the other favorite is more appropriate. But to me this is definitely the best of the 80's white boy music.
Now you know a little bit more of my story through the music around my life. I shall flesh out the story more in the days to come. In the meantime, enjoy!
It has often been said that music tells a story. At times it tells the story of a culture. Tells the story of a people. Tells the story of the times. I tend to agree with that. It does indeed tell a story. And it shall tell my story too. At least some of it.
As you know, my blog space here is in a state of transition. As I combine things from the two sites into one, I shall also add things. A little more multimedia in contrast to the stark (mostly) text only style that carried me through the first 150 plus entries. The Thinker has been replaced by the Detroit skyline, although he may return... I have already added pictures, beyond the two of me, and there are more to come. Now I ain't too sure I am gonna go as far as lazy blogging with that voice blog/phone blog thing that seems to be all the rage these days. But I am gonna add some sound.
Soon I plan to add one of those noise making widgets that play music. I shall populate this widget with songs that are relevant to the experience that is me. And if I don't get lazy about it I will post brief explanations of why these songs made the cut. Of course if inspired each song may generate it's own post. But I will leave that all that planning and inspiration for later. I gotta think of what to put in the thing now.
And the layout is still somewhat fluid at this time. So do not be surprised if it changes between visits and back again...
My arrival at a new milestone is fast approaching. It has gone from years, to months, now to weeks. Looking forward to it? Yes. No. Maybe...
So naturally I am thinking about the things I have been obsessing about lately. I want to get as much in as possible since I am "running outta time". For those of you who are behind the game the list goes a little something like this...
Cars
Bikes
Guns
Tits
Ass
Nothing unusual right? What can I say? All man I am.
Since I bothered to include the pictures, I guess some explanation is involved.
Gotta get my licensing straight for my list of items outlined in My Midlife Crysis.
Yeah. That is right! You heard the line! I am retiring from blogging. Why? Because I don't post nearly as much as I thought I would. I can't keep up. The pressure is too much!
So I as of today I am (semi) officially retiring (mostly) The Truth Is Lamer Than Fiction.
Get ya stomachs outta the knot already! I ain't leaving ya! I am just going to stop dividing my attention/stop ignoring the other blog/keep it simpler.
As a result of this I will be making a few changes here. I like the other layout better than this one. kinda 51/49. Although if I can figure out how to integrate the two to my satisfaction, then I will. Or maybe swap a bit. And I will be moving some of my favorite posts from there to here. The greatest hits if you will. So the previous prohibition of photos on this site will be lifted. And you will see some retreads in the coming days. At least those which fit the mood of this particular blog.
I may bring it outta retirement if I get back to the reason I created it in the first place. But I haven't been doing much in that area lately. Or who knows. The wife may finally get her thing on. Or maybe it might evolve into a team blog thing. We shall see.
Happy Heart Day to all o' y'all.
I may be out of the office for a minute. Seems my computer done got infected or something. So I am saying good bye to the contents of my C:\ Drive. Hard disk partitions are good! A second hard drive with the IMPORTANT stuff on it is even better! I learned long ago to not keep anything I want on the same drive that contains Windoze. Because when I whack it only the apps go away. I got those on CD. Sometimes starting fresh is quicker and easier than running all them damn anti-badstuff programs anyway.
See y'all in a day or three. I will be back then with nothing to say then too...
I got a question for you. Is America afraid that if the black democratic candidate wins that he will make folk pay slavery reparations? I am just asking. Because you know somebody is thinking that shit somewhere and is now desperately giving John McCain campaign contributions RIGHT NOW!!!
I also would like to know why the people we elect and pay to run out collective government are so obsessed with steroids? Did they cause the interest rates to change? Mortgages to default? Gas prices to rise? Troops get issued targets to wear? The writers to go on strike? Rap lyrics...nevamind on the rap lyrics... So let me see. They are digging deep into people "cheating" at games that are played to entertain people. Games that strangely are made more entertaining to watch by bigger, faster and stronger athletes. And don't give me that fair play crap either. Since the governing bodies of the various sports don't even have a consistent stance on the stuff themselves. I ain't advocating cheating. But it does seem something of a paradox. Tilting at windmills if you will. More important, it does not seem a good way to spend tax dollars that most people would rather keep and spend themselves.
::: long damn story alert! :::
I had the strangest incident happen to me yesterday. I got up and found that my dog really did remember how to not piss on the floor. I was excited for him! A little. So I wasted no time getting my gear on to get him outside before his memory had another lapse.
I then noticed the strangest thing. Somebody was sitting in the sidewalk. Not necessarily mind blowing, until you consider that it was 45 degrees. That meant it was raining out. And my sidewalk is covered with dirt because my nephew is ghetto as hell. But I figured I wouldn't get much accomplished by standing in the window wondering about what I was seeing.
So I grabbed coat, hat, leash, dog and will to travel out of doors. And I find the same person laying in the muddiest part of the mudwalk in front of the house. So I parked the dog at the door and ventured out alone. I noticed the woman trying to get up then. So I am thinking that she is in need of SOMETHING that will help her up out of the mud. "Are you okay?" A perfectly reasonable question at the time although I didn't expect a positive answer all things considered. I was not prepared for the answer I got. "Mmm mmm Mmmm Mmmm." Okaaayyy... Didn't quite get that so... "You need a hand up? You look like you are having a little trouble." This time I get a nod. So I help her up and in the process discover the likely cause of the distress. I almost got high off the fumes. This was the first time I had seen "unable to be upright drunk". I had seen falling down, sloppy, angry, crying, pissy (literally), stupid, philosophical, lying and even combative. Hell I have even seen "I thought you was on crack" drunk. But this was a first.
I got her stood up and she seemed to know where she was heading. I started to let her go until she did that drunk ass crab/backward walking thing folk do when the coordination is shot. So I held on. Easier to hold on than to pick her up again. At this point I ask if she has a phone number or something so I can call somebody to come and get her. I get a shake of the head. I also get no joy on the address question. It didn't yet seem like a 911 kinda issue, yet. And either way I couldn't leave here there because me and dog had an urgent appointment at a fire hydrant. She was already having a bad enough day, so I figured that having to deal with a pit bull when you can't even stand was a bit much. So I decided to keep her upright until she managed to get to the destination she was stumbling towards.
Now I have to say that this is a situation of the blind leading the blind. I had not seen this woman before, and she was incapable of telling me anything useful. So we walked. I imagine it must have looked rather strange. But I saw this girl walking from the direction we were heading toward. So I asked if she knew the lady. I THINK she shook her head. I can't be sure because she DIDN'T SAY SHIT!!!! I hate the young. Three minutes later and another street over we see another young lady at the bus stop. Yeah you heard me, three minutes to go as far as four good spits. But anyway I ask the same question. Now why did this trifling cow stare at me over her damn cell phone like I didn't just say something to her. Did I say I hate the young? Anyway the lady recognized her street just before we ambled past it. Lo and behold, I find someone who knows the lady. Problem solved!!!
On my way back I pray to myself that the dog didn't piss his name all over the walls of the stairway. And I manage to think that I may have done something good that day. Maybe... Then I start wondering about the logistics of the situation. And start to wonder if my sister had something to do with that whole thing.
About four hours later I find out that she was partially responsible. Turns out that friends of hers brought the lady by (uninvited) and left her in my sister's place. Mind you these guys weren't invited either and had actually invited themselves into her place while she was in the rest room. Mind you my sister is paranoid as hell. So she thought home dude was trying to "set her up". But then he did invite himself in, brought company, invited this chick in too AND left the chick (who my sis didn't know) in the crib. Sis was extremely upset about this for the rest of the day.
I almost felt bad for her. She did get treated like dog doodoo. I almost felt bad for the muddy woman too. But beer and Xanax don't really mix. I decided instead to feel bad for me. I had to listen to my sister crying all damn day. And I had to walk that drunken, drugged out woman home scavenger hunt style. Oh yeah, the dog did pee in the hallway. But I didn't clean up because he peed in his old pillow which the trash man took away today.
Yep, I felt bad for me. But what I wanna know is: why you all looking at me like that? Don't act like y'all don't know what the fuck is up. This IS the Year of the Selfish!!!! Ya betta recognize! Who did you think I was gonna feel bad for?
Congrats for Eli looking like a little bad ass white kid in a K-mart trying to wiggle outta the grasp of his mother near toy aisle. That was one of the best plays I have seen in a long time.
And to David Tyree for the catch that made it one of the best plays I have seen in a long time. I bet that ball looked like a big brown titty with a big ass contract attached to it. If you think I am full of shit, look at the way he caught it. Like it was the last titty on earth and was worth millions!
Who would have thought that the game was the most entertaining part of the Superbowl this year? The commercials surely weren't. The shows definitely were not. When did that happen?
DETRIOT -- Police have launched a criminal investigation after 80 Detroit Department of Transportation buses were vandalized overnight on Sunday and many people were left waiting in the cold.The vandals tampered with the ignition switch on 80 buses at the Coolidge terminal and temporarily put them out of order, said city officials.Police said they believe the vandals are employees because the buses were tampered with while inside the secured Coolidge lot.However, police said at this time, they do not have any leads.City officials said the damaged buses had a temporary impact on their routes and services and some people had to wait Monday morning.City spokesman James Canning said they used buses from other lots to cover the shifts of the damaged buses and supervisors were out in the field to keep delays at a minimum.Canning said all but five buses have already been repaired.Okay, I have two questions on this. First, Why? Second, what fact checker and editor are needing to have their jobs downsized? I mean how can you work in Detroit media and not know how to spell the name of the city?
Detroit City Council President Kenneth Cockrel Jr. today answered critics who thought it was inappropriate for him to take a business trip to Taiwan as the scandal involving text messages between Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick and his chief of staff Christine Beatty unfolded.Man look at them go! Can ya smell the hate in the air? The man is under fire for doing his job (and next possible mayor's job) by opening up and strengthening ties with a trade partner. Instead they wanted him to be here saying "shame on you Mr. Mayor". Seems to me doing something positive instead of wallowing in the negative was the smart play to make.
“It made more sense to go on the Taiwan trip than ringing my hands over what was happening with the mayor” Cockrel said from his office in the Coleman A. Young Municipal Center.
Under the city charter, Cockrel — not Deputy Mayor Anthony Adams, who is appointed — is next in line in charge of the city in the event something happens to the mayor.
Cockrel said the trip, paid for entirely by the Taiwanese government, had been in the works for a year and was geared toward building economic and educational ties between Taiwan and Detroit.
“The timing was unfortunate, but it was the best use of my time,” he said.
The Free Press revealed on Jan. 23 that text messages between Beatty and Kilpatrick showed they lied in sworn testimony in a police whistle-blower trial last summer when they testified they were not involved in a sexual relationship. The messages also showed that they misled jurors about whether they discussed firing one of the police officials involved in the whistlblower suit.
Cockrel expressed reservations about a proposal that the City Council launch its own investigation into the test messaging scandal to determine whether the city should foot the bill for some $9 million in proposed settlement costs and attorney fees in that whistleblower case.
Wayne County Prosecutor Kym Worthy has already announced an investigation by her office, Cockrel said, adding: “We have to be very careful about launching some wide ranging probe.”
Cockrel said he would probably support Councilman Kwame Kenyatta’s call for a financial audit concerning the mayor’s office. The financial audit would include money being spent on outside legal services.
Sorry, but I just gotta share these!
My nephew recently stated the following to my mom. "I just farted and it don't even stink. It was just air!" Uh huh. This coming from the same dude that slipped a silent one in class and the room had to be evacuated in the midst of a lesson. Whateva muthanukka. Ain't no way anything coming outta them guts could ever be considered anything as benign as air!
Last night while sitting talking to The Wife, my dog choses to get in on the game himself. We had just come in from walking him so there was a reasonable chance that he was empty. So we were sitting there talking about how spoiled he is (her fault). So we were teasing him by playing kissy face. He hates it when anyone gets her attention and he ain't involved. Usually he would bark when he thought I was getting the lion's share of the attention. This time he decided to be a little low key. So he whined instead. The short version of that all is: kiss kiss, whine whine, giggle giggle. After we got tired of having sport with him we just talked about him throwing a hissy fit. This is characterized by him laying down with his ass pointed in our direction. And we made sport of him for that. Of course the two of us being there and not touching him was too much for him to bear so he sat back up and watched us again. About three minutes into this particular bid for attention he lets out this floor vibrating fart. What does he do? Turns around and looks at his ass like he couldn't believe it had the nerve to do that to him. Not a glance mind you. But stared that boy down! He then sniffed the foulness and got up and attempted to walk away. He is more human than I some days...
You know you are having a hard time when your dream self is telling your unconscious self to wake the hell up because one, or both, or all of you farted and the stench is overwhelming in an enclosed space. The really funny part is that the conscious mind is too damn tired to pay attention to the shit talking dream self. Even more funny when the dream self is just trying to get a window open or something. You know that is some bad shit when your dreams are offended. No more milk before bed for me...
Have a stinky day!
Sincerely,
Tha Funkmaster!
You will have to excuse my lack of presence. As I mentioned I was recently attempting to find my happy place. Didn't quite... Not enough time...
But if this title seems familiar then you know what is up. Same shit. Every day.
There are days I am here. And not. I have never been the lurking type. But I find myself doing that now. I read some and move on. Comments are bought dearly. And have been somewhat spartan when given.
Often times I find my time online spent giving a number of virtual "tangos" a virtual dirt nap. I seem to catch a few too. Time spent in fellowship with a different community whose job it is to keep the world safe from virtual terrorists.
I often game heavily when depressed. I think I am at medium now.
The major reason for my recent absence is because I was staying with my wife while her mom was in the hospital. A little out of touch without a computer ya know. But I had other things to do with my hands.
The major reason for the title of this post is summed up by what I told her yesterday. "You think things are bad for you? Hell, I just vacationed where you live everyday. Then I came home. Things are the same for you. Mine just went down hill! As much as you complain, I doubt you would trade places." She of course could only agree.
Hell, I am just rambling now. I think I will go walk the dog. Or kill my nephew for rudely forcing me to listen to stuff that I absolutely HATE! Or both...
But in the meanwhile I wish a big beer and hearty back slaps all around to the fellas.
To the ladies I dedicate this warm and loving hug. And those who have big posteriors, an additional wandering hand. You know to check out the firmness and all. Can't have you walking around sagging without somebody telling you about it!
Seems that the Mayor of Detroit lied (under oath) about some text messages related to an extra-marital affair.
I was gonna get off into this one but it ain't gonna stop people from being nosy as hell anyway. What is the use? My own personal view is that if his wife accepted his apologies and stayed with him, who the hell am I to have shit to say beyond that.
But apparently it is BIG news here in Detroit. It may even be national. I mean it ain't like he got caught smoking crack in a hotel or anything...
How big is the news you ask? Check this shit out! Look at the NUMEROUS related stories. If you read it today look at the front page!
Why were three teenage girls strolling the streets at 4:30 in the oh-dark-thirty? And why did this have to happen as a consequence?
Why is my dog nearly killing himself trying to lick three drops of butter off of the floor? Look at him go!
Why were illegal immigrants allowed to get drivers licenses in Michigan when I can't get mine back until I pay my tickets? I thought being an illegal alien was a bigger crime than being too poor to pay for an expired tag. Go figger. What up with that?
Why are firefighters really heroes? You carry him out and ask that.
Why did Bill Clinton let himself get seen sleeping at a MLK event?
Why the hell are the Pistons on a losing streak? Orlando at the last second I can understand. But how do you get blown out by the NEW YORK KNICKS?
Why has it taken so long for folk to get tired of the antics of the professional celebrity stalkers? I think they call them collectively paparazzi.
Why all this sudden talk about the economy going into a recession? Hell my economy has been in a depression far longer than I care to think about. Recession? Big deal!
Why can't candidates just get along?
Why wasn't I born bigger, taller, stronger, faster and devoted to some kind of ball? I could sure use one of them $20 million dollar contracts...
Happy Birthday to My Wife! She is now as old as me today. Which means she is damn old according to all them jokes she done had for most of the past year.
Soooo.... Happy Birthday Old Woman!!!!
Oh yeah, and this too!!!
This next deep thought was inspired by I Am J. She asked, how can I do anything but answer. Especially since the seemed to have settled on a name again...
Valentines day is soon. This will give u a chance to ponder and marinate.
What attracted you to your wife? What keeps the love alive betwixed yall?
betwixed...is that a word? Well it is today :-)
An Opinionated Diva asked a rather good question. It was in response to this question. So good it inspired this post. Her question?
What have you done so far this month to satisfy the "get" list?
Political shenanigans is the reason why I am suddenly a little less than thrilled with my right to vote.
This year is one of those special elections where there is genuine excitement about the possibilities. Historic possibilities. In fact the Democratic Party has the chance to change the face of the Presidency. Not to make too much of the fact that a white woman and a black man are the two most likely candidates for the party. But on top of that the environment is primed toward one of them actually being the "First..." That would truly represent the change in the way folk think in this country. We will see if America is truly ready for such change. But I ain't here to talk about Senators Clinton or Obama. Not directly.
My problem is that the Democratic Party is playing politics with my vote! Last night was the Primary Election in Michigan. And I didn't go. I had no reason to. It would have been a waste of my life to do so. Usually I would feel shame at missing the chance to put my two cents in considering the trouble that it took for me to have that opportunity. Why?
Basically it was a one pony show for the Democrats. The choices? Clinton, Kucinich and Uncommitted. Which essentially meant that it was as slam dunk for front runner Clinton. Such a slam dunk in fact that she wasn't even in the state. She was in Nevada. Congrats anyway...
Uncommitted was the thing that the dumb asses in the party tried to put out as an alternative to voting for Clinton. More accurately what you check if you wanna support Obama or Edwards. An explanation is here. Why it was a bad thing for them is here. The funny version is Here. The short version is that they didn't wanna piss off the party and thought that she was a lock for Michigan because of the powers that be and old polls...
I am pissed.
To make things worse the Republicans got all excited because their race opened up even wider since Romney won and now they have three different winners in three different states heading to Super Tuesday.
Maybe I will be forgiving by November.
I almost went out last night. But I just didn't see it worth my trouble to punish them by voting for McCain...
That is the question of the day. If you ask, I shall do my best to answer.
On the other hand I can restart my New Words of the Week back up. I don't think anyone can forget the Hot Carl!
Oh yeah. I almost forgot this one. I am only telling this one because The Wife won't do it herself.
As you all know, there is a workplace tradition around Crimmus called Secret Santa. In her case, the company has a $20 limit. The way it works is that you put three things that you want on a slip of paper with your name on it. Mind you this is completely voluntary. And usually everyone tries to hit the $20 mark as best they can. Some go over. Ehkneewae...
The wife decides to participate. As do several others. She draws. She gets a gift card from the bank for her giftee. Sweet, simple, exactly what they wanted. After they get it of course...
Her list if I remember right was wine, a gas card, a gift card. I think that was the list anyway.
Reveal day comes for her. She of course gets the short straw this year. 8-Kid Dude drew her name. This cat is one of those who thinks he is gods gift or something from all I heard. And one cheap bastard to boot.
She ended up with a "split" gift. He called himself clever and got two of the three things on the list. The first part of the gift was a $10 gift card from Wal-Mart. The other part was a bottle (or two) of wine. Well, almost... The gifting was on the last day of work before the holiday. On that day she got the gift card... What? You waiting on something? Keeep waiting... Oh yeah, that's right! She also got informed that he bought some wine for her that she would really like. But he forgot to bring it in. Pause for effect here folks... And look to the top of this post and peep the date. Because he STILL forgot to bring it in!!! I told her she might get it in time for her birthday which would make it ALMOST a month late! I even volunteered to give her a wine goblet to sit on her desk to remind him to remember to take it from the fridge and put it in his car.
Coulda been worse though. She could have gotten the $5 gift certificate to Subway that he gave out last year! That story was even funnier! But I ain't for telling that one.
I guess he ain't god's gift, or any other for that matter!
A couple of new tests are here at The Truth Is Lamer Than Fiction. That is all. It don't get no deeper than this today... Unless it get deeper later...
You know I was gonna post something else here.
Then I decided not to.
Oh no here I go again!
I wish I wasn't...
It is a New Year here in the west. In the east the Boar is quickly approaching the end. The Rat is fast approaching.
As you know, I made some revolutions last year (NOT resolutions) because they are more addendums to my life philosophy.
Happy New Year to all my folks and lurkers! I have a thought or two. But I will share those later!
Yesterday was a fortune kissed day, I guess. My wife was a little disappointed that the usual rib roast that is the center piece of one of the two holiday dinners wasn't happening this time around. Tightened budget and $10.59 per pound put that plan on the back burner. Until... We popped into our favorite store. A little shopping for the celebrations for the new year. We end up in the meat section. She was determined to have some kind of steak before we started the drinking. So the plan was for chuck steaks instead. On sale at $2.20 per pound made it not a bad plan. But lo and behold. What did we find in the midst of the beef? A 3.5 pound rib roast that was $6.99 per pound. She found her roast for less than $23. Don't try doing the math at this point. I know the numbers are off... The only problem was that the wrapping had experienced some damage. Sooooooo.... (stay with me here) She caught the nearest butcher department worker who promptly dropped two packages of center cut pork chops in the cart. She then asked him to REWRAP the roast for purchase and transport. After he walked off she asked if I had ordered center cuts. I looked at her as if she was mad since I was checking out the $1 per pound pork shoulder at the time. For those of you who ain't been paying attention, I am frugal. So center cut chops are not something that I would think to grab with out a really good sale price. So we figured that he wasn't too swift or that all black folk look alike to him. He comes back with the roast in hand, rewrapped and with a new label and an explanation. NEW LABEL I SAID! Why did he go and reweigh and all that when he just needed another layer of plastic wrap? The new label of course had a price that was around $31. So after The Wife kindly told him that the price was wrong, the began to explain to the other butcher what happened. Apparently not only was the price per pound different, but the weight was also different. By a whole pound. Now both of these guys must be new since in Michigan is the product is sold at the posted price if the customer finds it that way. Correct price or not. They had to call the manager. He told them to find the old price tag and hand it over.
THEN we go to KFC for a little Hot Wing action since they are only available for a limited time. We make our order. We are told that there would be a wait. We didn't mind the wait since that meant fresh food. We were offered free drinks while we waited. Cool! Of course there is an overbearing manager in the place or there wouldn't be a story. She of course did her overbearing thing and screwed up. Another couple came in right around the time our wings were done and ordered, you guessed it, Hot Wings. What did overbearing manager do? Gave them our damn chicken instead of filling our order first. She was promptly informed of her error by the person who was SUPPOSED to be working that register. Which led us to taking bets on what was gonna happen next. They were of course short for our order. So they offered us those nasty ass honey barbecue wings. That almost got some shyt started. Instead they got their heads outta their asses and gave us six crispy strips and four biscuits to make up for the missing six hot wings. We decided not to trip and run off with our additional good fortune. Of course we did notice that they sent he black kid out to deal with us. He was the only one who didn't help us before. Go figger!
THEN we found the bottles of wine that we have been searching for over a year to drink. Even better they were 2 for 1!
Okay it all wasn't free. But it might as well have been.
You know what else. I didn't have jack shit to talk about today. That is why you all had to read this book.
Love Ya Babies! Have a Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!
We will have to compare inebriation stories next year!
I found it in two dogs yesterday. Kurn (my dog) did his best 7 year old on Christmas morning bit when my nephew gave him a gift. There was an old love seat in the house. It saw it's last day here and was thrown out. My nephew decided to save the pillows. He gave them to my dog. Talk about happy. He tried to climb on them, sniff them, move them and run around them all at the same time. I guess he realized that he needed to decide and laid down. I don't know if he was happier because he gets to lay six inches above the floor, doesn't have to lay on the floor or because he doesn't have to get in trouble for stealing folks clothes and laying on them. Although I think that old habits die hard. The minute he was free and alone, he stole somebody's shirt and put it on the pillow.
Speedy is my SIL's spoiled dog. I think he was the one who cleaned up best. I saw no less than five new toys. And he ain't much bigger than my shoe. Aside from the now too many choices to chew up and the fact that there was company, he had a favorite toy. There was this funny looking orange and white penguin that made noise. It was a strange noise that was a cross between a moan and a fart. But this set Speedy off. To the point that he ran around the house shaking this little thing like it personally cursed all of his ancestors and then scheduled him for neuter surgery while changing his canned food to dry.
Too funny that...
My dog is a nut. But I think he is learning. I think he realizes that he likes eating and drinking more than he likes using my wood floor for a commode. In fact to prove that point, this morning he was laying asleep in the same spot that his pizzle usually pools up in the floor. And no surprise "foot mines" to walk on either! I was ecstatic! After I persuaded him to stop wasting time licking snow instead of using the out of doors time for bath rooming, he got a nice cold drink of already liquid refreshment. If he keeps this up he may stop getting skinny too! Now if I can only get him to understand that six feet is not enough room to run, then we will be making real progress. Or for that matter get him to understand a simple equation, my leash arm hurting from crazy dog running while attached = steel toed snow boot up the ass.
You think he would learn...
I didn't have these problems during the spring, summer or most of the autumn...
I was puttering around checking real estate prices. I happened on a spot that mentioned the prices of recent sales. So I checked the old neighborhood. Found three things interesting. My two closest neighbors houses sold recently. The one next door went for a nice price. And then sold again for a significantly smaller price shortly after. The neighbor behind me sold his too. For about a third less than it was on the market for when I was there. And my old house finally sold too. For $9,000 less than I sold it for myself! And mine was an "impending foreclosure, take what you can get, we're doing you a favor" kinda sale. And it needed a roof bad! The house behind mine sold for $7,000 more than mine did three years ago. But that was still $33,000 less than the last asking price I saw. Wow. Of course the downer is that the house next door is no longer owned by Mr. P. Wonder where he is now. May have to find his son, who lives on my cousin's block, and see.
Today is the day to appreciate those blessings that you didn't know you had.
I am feeling a bit less ill today. So I will return to my usual illness, already in progress...
G.eorge B.ush done stole Christmas!!!! I say this because I was out walking the dog last night, and noticed three pitiful displays of Christmas lights. This may not have been much to think about but for three things. One, that was for the WHOLE block! Two, they were (indoor) lights in windows only! It was five days before Christmas!!! I mean that would have been fine for the day after Thanksgiving, but this close? The spirit ain't going around either. Maybe it is just me, but I ain't feeling it. Nobody I know is feeling it. And it seems that even the advertising is a bit less than usual. Or is it just me? 10 months is far too long just for a glimmer of hope...
This next post comes from the mind of an ill individual. Of course some of you would contend that it is my natural state. I won't argue the point. Could get quite embarrassing to be wrong and lose an argument that is supposed to prove you sane!
What follows are thoughts mumbled into a voice recorder by a man in a dark place.
It’s hard to be misunderstood, for the greater good
It’s easy to misunderstand, when you don’t understand what it is
In this case the greater good is what’s best for everybody else in the long run
Although it is really not best for me
Long run or short run
I sacrifice because, well, that’s what I do
For that greater good
I stick myself in the line of fire of resentment
from many
For various reasons
Because I promote that greater good
Over the desires of right now
The good for now versus the good for later
That overreaching thing that will bind everyone together is not what’s understood
It’s just what is now that is desired
It is what is now that’s only important to those I am in the line of fire of
At this point, I am not even sure that I understand what it’s worth is
I’m not really even sure if it is worth it
To me
Or to them
I stand in the breech, hoping to forestall an attack on those behind me
But they don’t understand
Or they don’t care
Or maybe it is just that I don’t understand
And they maybe do more than I do
Probably should just step on
Get out of the way
And find my own fate
Find my own understanding
Find my own way
Maybe the whole time, what I have been doing has been fruitless
And unworthy
Only time will tell for sure
But maybe it is time for me to stop
And find my own path
Again…
I am sick as hell. Niagara Falls has seemed to relocate to somewhere in my nasal passages. The sneezing is downright painful. Feels like I have a firecracker exploding in my head in triplicate. I may or may not show my face before Friday. Now where is that damn order form for Nana's soup?
Finally got my Harry Potter fix this year! I managed to finally see the fifth film and read the seventh book this weekend. Both good! With a nice few little surprises in the book!
Also, I Am Legend was off the hook. At least that is my own humble point of view. I gave it a 9 out of 10. But only because I didn't like the way it ended. But not every story ends like you want it to. It just ends the way it does...
How sleazy are you? Aw hell, who am I foolin'? Y'all are a bunch of escapees from Old Rome. Y'all done did some shyt in ya lives! I know it, you know it. So spill it... Here it is! The good old Sleaze Test!
The rules are as follows...
This is fun to do. Just read the 'offense' and if you've done it, you owe that fine. Keep going until you've read each 'offense' and add up your total fine. Title your comment 'My Bail is $........'
You don't have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine. Of course if you wanna share, I don't mind reading about your debauchery...
Smoked pot -- $10
Did acid -- $5
Ever had sex at church -- $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you-- $40
Had sex with someone on My Space -- $25
Had sex for money -- $100
Ever had sex with the a Puerto Rican -- $20
Vandalized something -- $20
Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10
Beat up someone -- $20
Been jumped -- $10
Crossed dressed -- $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Been in love with a stripper -- $20
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know --$10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- $15
Ever drive drunk -- $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50
Used toys while having sex -- $30
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20
Went skinny dipping -- $5
Had sex in a pool -- $20
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20
Cheated on your significant other -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- $20
Done oral -- $5
Got oral -- $5
Done / got oral in a car while it was moving -- $25
Stole something -- $10
Had sex with someone in jail -- $25
Made a nasty home video -- $15
Had a threesome -- $50
Had sex in the wild -- $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25
Went streaking -- $5
Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15
Been arrested -- $5
Spent time in jail -- $15
Peed in the pool -- $0.50
Played spin the bottle -- $5
Done something you regret -- $20
Had sex with your best friend >-- $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work --$25
Had anal sex -- $80
Lied to your mate -- $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25
OK , now tally up your answers, and post them in the comment section!
I thought of making this a tag, but the wave of volunteering seems to have come over folk. So I leave you on your honor.
But I will tag folk if I need to! So fess up!
