Quit?

No! I ain't quit! I just been AFK for a few days. Finding my happy place and all. Peace!

Breaking News!

Seems that the Mayor of Detroit lied (under oath) about some text messages related to an extra-marital affair.

I was gonna get off into this one but it ain't gonna stop people from being nosy as hell anyway. What is the use? My own personal view is that if his wife accepted his apologies and stayed with him, who the hell am I to have shit to say beyond that.

But apparently it is BIG news here in Detroit. It may even be national. I mean it ain't like he got caught smoking crack in a hotel or anything...

How big is the news you ask? Check this shit out! Look at the NUMEROUS related stories. If you read it today look at the front page!

Just Wondering Why...

Why were three teenage girls strolling the streets at 4:30 in the oh-dark-thirty? And why did this have to happen as a consequence?

Why is my dog nearly killing himself trying to lick three drops of butter off of the floor? Look at him go!

Why were illegal immigrants allowed to get drivers licenses in Michigan when I can't get mine back until I pay my tickets? I thought being an illegal alien was a bigger crime than being too poor to pay for an expired tag. Go figger. What up with that?

Why are firefighters really heroes? You carry him out and ask that.

Why did Bill Clinton let himself get seen sleeping at a MLK event?

Why the hell are the Pistons on a losing streak? Orlando at the last second I can understand. But how do you get blown out by the NEW YORK KNICKS?

Why has it taken so long for folk to get tired of the antics of the professional celebrity stalkers? I think they call them collectively paparazzi.

Why all this sudden talk about the economy going into a recession? Hell my economy has been in a depression far longer than I care to think about. Recession? Big deal!

Why can't candidates just get along?

Why wasn't I born bigger, taller, stronger, faster and devoted to some kind of ball? I could sure use one of them $20 million dollar contracts...

Happy Birthday!!!

Happy Birthday to My Wife! She is now as old as me today. Which means she is damn old according to all them jokes she done had for most of the past year.

Soooo.... Happy Birthday Old Woman!!!!

Oh yeah, and this too!!!

I Am Answer

This next deep thought was inspired by I Am J. She asked, how can I do anything but answer. Especially since the seemed to have settled on a name again...

Valentines day is soon. This will give u a chance to ponder and marinate.

What attracted you to your wife? What keeps the love alive betwixed yall?

betwixed...is that a word? Well it is today :-)

See this right here is a good reason for her to be blogging herself. Cause the full story is best told from both points of view. But you didn't ask how we got together. So I will stick to the question that's betwixted us.

The answer is somewhat complicated. How do you really put into words what makes The One THE One. I will try my best to give a "short" answer, so my head won't hurt from all the thinking...


I do know the thing that cemented the deal for me is that she is a kind and giving individual. You know, the kind that wants to help all the time. The kind that will pay more and accept less ( that part runs me up the wall). The kind that likes to see people smile and be happy. The kind that stops at the baby stuff and goes "Oooohhhhhh... Look at the teeny tiny stuff. Somebody gotta get pregnant so I can buy them some. Oooohhhhh...".

Things that keep the love alive betwixted us are also reasons that attract me to her. Big butt, Big knockas, Big thighs, Not scary when undone, Milk Chocolate don't hurt. Check, check, check, check and check!
Her liking sports (sometimes more than me) don't ever hurt. We like a lot of the same things. She done even got me to watching the Food Network, just not when I am eating. She is not high maintenance. Although she does have this strange ability to find the most expensive thing in visual range. And the fact that she is kinda nympho speaks loudly to the very freaky side in me.
But the biggest thing is that she loves me like I love her. Just as much, just as hard, just as long, Just Forever.

Answering A Divalicious Question

An Opinionated Diva asked a rather good question. It was in response to this question. So good it inspired this post. Her question?

What have you done so far this month to satisfy the "get" list?

At this point I have taken steps to Get Educated. I got in touch with my counselor and am having her get my plan of work together so I can determine my strategy for knocking the rest of those classes out. Cause I am not sure what I need to take to finish for sure right now. I may go see her tomorrow if I can, or talk to her next week.

I have also moved to Get Healthier. I have an eye appointment scheduled for the end of the month. And I have been doing better with taking my meds. That stir-fry last night didn't hurt either...

And I am trying to Get Wealthier. I kicked the job search back to the front burner. The job I have is fine but I need to upgrade my income game.

Which goes to the whole Get Selfish thing. My job search is national. So wherever the money is, so shall I be. Of course that may not necessarily please many, or any, of my family members. But fuck it! They don't have to be. I do. Year of the Selfish remember?

Political Shenanigans!

Political shenanigans is the reason why I am suddenly a little less than thrilled with my right to vote.

This year is one of those special elections where there is genuine excitement about the possibilities. Historic possibilities. In fact the Democratic Party has the chance to change the face of the Presidency. Not to make too much of the fact that a white woman and a black man are the two most likely candidates for the party. But on top of that the environment is primed toward one of them actually being the "First..." That would truly represent the change in the way folk think in this country. We will see if America is truly ready for such change. But I ain't here to talk about Senators Clinton or Obama. Not directly.

My problem is that the Democratic Party is playing politics with my vote! Last night was the Primary Election in Michigan. And I didn't go. I had no reason to. It would have been a waste of my life to do so. Usually I would feel shame at missing the chance to put my two cents in considering the trouble that it took for me to have that opportunity. Why?

Basically it was a one pony show for the Democrats. The choices? Clinton, Kucinich and Uncommitted. Which essentially meant that it was as slam dunk for front runner Clinton. Such a slam dunk in fact that she wasn't even in the state. She was in Nevada. Congrats anyway...

Uncommitted was the thing that the dumb asses in the party tried to put out as an alternative to voting for Clinton. More accurately what you check if you wanna support Obama or Edwards. An explanation is here. Why it was a bad thing for them is here. The funny version is Here. The short version is that they didn't wanna piss off the party and thought that she was a lock for Michigan because of the powers that be and old polls...

I am pissed.

To make things worse the Republicans got all excited because their race opened up even wider since Romney won and now they have three different winners in three different states heading to Super Tuesday.

Maybe I will be forgiving by November.
I almost went out last night. But I just didn't see it worth my trouble to punish them by voting for McCain...

Whadda Ya Wanna Know?

That is the question of the day. If you ask, I shall do my best to answer.

On the other hand I can restart my New Words of the Week back up. I don't think anyone can forget the Hot Carl!

Seekret Satan... I Mean Santa

Oh yeah. I almost forgot this one. I am only telling this one because The Wife won't do it herself.

As you all know, there is a workplace tradition around Crimmus called Secret Santa. In her case, the company has a $20 limit. The way it works is that you put three things that you want on a slip of paper with your name on it. Mind you this is completely voluntary. And usually everyone tries to hit the $20 mark as best they can. Some go over. Ehkneewae...

The wife decides to participate. As do several others. She draws. She gets a gift card from the bank for her giftee. Sweet, simple, exactly what they wanted. After they get it of course...

Her list if I remember right was wine, a gas card, a gift card. I think that was the list anyway.
Reveal day comes for her. She of course gets the short straw this year. 8-Kid Dude drew her name. This cat is one of those who thinks he is gods gift or something from all I heard. And one cheap bastard to boot.

She ended up with a "split" gift. He called himself clever and got two of the three things on the list. The first part of the gift was a $10 gift card from Wal-Mart. The other part was a bottle (or two) of wine. Well, almost... The gifting was on the last day of work before the holiday. On that day she got the gift card... What? You waiting on something? Keeep waiting... Oh yeah, that's right! She also got informed that he bought some wine for her that she would really like. But he forgot to bring it in. Pause for effect here folks... And look to the top of this post and peep the date. Because he STILL forgot to bring it in!!! I told her she might get it in time for her birthday which would make it ALMOST a month late! I even volunteered to give her a wine goblet to sit on her desk to remind him to remember to take it from the fridge and put it in his car.

Coulda been worse though. She could have gotten the $5 gift certificate to Subway that he gave out last year! That story was even funnier! But I ain't for telling that one.

I guess he ain't god's gift, or any other for that matter!

Pop Quizzes!

A couple of new tests are here at The Truth Is Lamer Than Fiction. That is all. It don't get no deeper than this today... Unless it get deeper later...

Was...

You know I was gonna post something else here.

Then I decided not to.

Oh no here I go again!
I wish I wasn't...

The Real New Year!

It is a New Year here in the west. In the east the Boar is quickly approaching the end. The Rat is fast approaching.

As you know, I made some revolutions last year (NOT resolutions) because they are more addendums to my life philosophy.

• Get Wealthier
• Get Healthier
• Get Educated
• Get Selfish
• Get Closer
• Get Distant
• Get Mobile
• Get Gone
• Get Your Duty Done
• And most of all DO whatever it takes to make a life better... YOURS!!!!!!

Last year I created this around the beginning of the year. My New Year's Revolutions if you will. No they ain't resolutions cause I don't do those! But revolutions because they are more of an addendum to my life philosophy. More revolutionary. Anyway, I repost them now in the space between the eastern and western new years because I did some examination. There was a strategic flaw in my plan. I see what it is now. It seems that one of those "Get" entries is more important than the rest. I failed to pay attention to that before.
Can you figure out which one it is? No? Can't get a little inspiration? No? Maybe you know what I didn't? No? Possibly... (sorry, too damn much Stewie).

Anyway, I am reengineering the year. It shall be retitled for the In Between (you know, the place between East and West). Where I am it shall not be 2008. Nor will it be The Year of the Rat. I christen this year!




The Year of the Selfish!!!!!!!


That's right baby. You heard me. It shall be all about me this campaign!!! Now before you get started on me, take a minute to look at two things. 1) This ain't a usual self centered rant because 2) look at the list above. How the hell am I gonna get with the "Get" list if I don't start thinking about me first? All this sacrificing for the greater good jazz doesn't get me no ends. Which means obviously no wealthy. Which means I can't drive my car which needs insurance, registration and maintenance. Oh and a LICENSED driver. So no mobile for me. Which means not so healthy since doctors and GOOD food cost! Which means not so much more educated since free school is waaayyy in my past! I am gonna get that damn degree ONE day! Getting gone ain't happened since I need to pay for the way and the destination! Getting closer and distant are very deep concepts that cover much and I won't touch on them in this post. Getting my duty done is about the only one that was covered last year to any satisfaction. Although not nearly enough for full satisfaction.

That all said, I need to get my ass up outta this house. I don't really belong here anymore. And get me a different job. I need one that pays my pocket instead of my soul. Others are gonna have to step up and work for their own. I can't be nobody's safety net no more, my ropes are fraying. Y'all betta get ya asses up before you end up on the damn ground. And I ain't picking ya ass up! I got me a bike to ride this year. And a lotta shit to do before I can get it!

Happy New Year

Happy New Year to all my folks and lurkers! I have a thought or two. But I will share those later!

Freebie Day

Yesterday was a fortune kissed day, I guess. My wife was a little disappointed that the usual rib roast that is the center piece of one of the two holiday dinners wasn't happening this time around. Tightened budget and $10.59 per pound put that plan on the back burner. Until... We popped into our favorite store. A little shopping for the celebrations for the new year. We end up in the meat section. She was determined to have some kind of steak before we started the drinking. So the plan was for chuck steaks instead. On sale at $2.20 per pound made it not a bad plan. But lo and behold. What did we find in the midst of the beef? A 3.5 pound rib roast that was $6.99 per pound. She found her roast for less than $23. Don't try doing the math at this point. I know the numbers are off... The only problem was that the wrapping had experienced some damage. Sooooooo.... (stay with me here) She caught the nearest butcher department worker who promptly dropped two packages of center cut pork chops in the cart. She then asked him to REWRAP the roast for purchase and transport. After he walked off she asked if I had ordered center cuts. I looked at her as if she was mad since I was checking out the $1 per pound pork shoulder at the time. For those of you who ain't been paying attention, I am frugal. So center cut chops are not something that I would think to grab with out a really good sale price. So we figured that he wasn't too swift or that all black folk look alike to him. He comes back with the roast in hand, rewrapped and with a new label and an explanation. NEW LABEL I SAID! Why did he go and reweigh and all that when he just needed another layer of plastic wrap? The new label of course had a price that was around $31. So after The Wife kindly told him that the price was wrong, the began to explain to the other butcher what happened. Apparently not only was the price per pound different, but the weight was also different. By a whole pound. Now both of these guys must be new since in Michigan is the product is sold at the posted price if the customer finds it that way. Correct price or not. They had to call the manager. He told them to find the old price tag and hand it over.

THEN we go to KFC for a little Hot Wing action since they are only available for a limited time. We make our order. We are told that there would be a wait. We didn't mind the wait since that meant fresh food. We were offered free drinks while we waited. Cool! Of course there is an overbearing manager in the place or there wouldn't be a story. She of course did her overbearing thing and screwed up. Another couple came in right around the time our wings were done and ordered, you guessed it, Hot Wings. What did overbearing manager do? Gave them our damn chicken instead of filling our order first. She was promptly informed of her error by the person who was SUPPOSED to be working that register. Which led us to taking bets on what was gonna happen next. They were of course short for our order. So they offered us those nasty ass honey barbecue wings. That almost got some shyt started. Instead they got their heads outta their asses and gave us six crispy strips and four biscuits to make up for the missing six hot wings. We decided not to trip and run off with our additional good fortune. Of course we did notice that they sent he black kid out to deal with us. He was the only one who didn't help us before. Go figger!

THEN we found the bottles of wine that we have been searching for over a year to drink. Even better they were 2 for 1!

Okay it all wasn't free. But it might as well have been.

You know what else. I didn't have jack shit to talk about today. That is why you all had to read this book.

Love Ya Babies! Have a Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!

We will have to compare inebriation stories next year!

The Christmas Cheer

I found it in two dogs yesterday. Kurn (my dog) did his best 7 year old on Christmas morning bit when my nephew gave him a gift. There was an old love seat in the house. It saw it's last day here and was thrown out. My nephew decided to save the pillows. He gave them to my dog. Talk about happy. He tried to climb on them, sniff them, move them and run around them all at the same time. I guess he realized that he needed to decide and laid down. I don't know if he was happier because he gets to lay six inches above the floor, doesn't have to lay on the floor or because he doesn't have to get in trouble for stealing folks clothes and laying on them. Although I think that old habits die hard. The minute he was free and alone, he stole somebody's shirt and put it on the pillow.

Speedy is my SIL's spoiled dog. I think he was the one who cleaned up best. I saw no less than five new toys. And he ain't much bigger than my shoe. Aside from the now too many choices to chew up and the fact that there was company, he had a favorite toy. There was this funny looking orange and white penguin that made noise. It was a strange noise that was a cross between a moan and a fart. But this set Speedy off. To the point that he ran around the house shaking this little thing like it personally cursed all of his ancestors and then scheduled him for neuter surgery while changing his canned food to dry.

Too funny that...

Dog Madness

My dog is a nut. But I think he is learning. I think he realizes that he likes eating and drinking more than he likes using my wood floor for a commode. In fact to prove that point, this morning he was laying asleep in the same spot that his pizzle usually pools up in the floor. And no surprise "foot mines" to walk on either! I was ecstatic! After I persuaded him to stop wasting time licking snow instead of using the out of doors time for bath rooming, he got a nice cold drink of already liquid refreshment. If he keeps this up he may stop getting skinny too! Now if I can only get him to understand that six feet is not enough room to run, then we will be making real progress. Or for that matter get him to understand a simple equation, my leash arm hurting from crazy dog running while attached = steel toed snow boot up the ass.

You think he would learn...

I didn't have these problems during the spring, summer or most of the autumn...

Tha Old Hood

I was puttering around checking real estate prices. I happened on a spot that mentioned the prices of recent sales. So I checked the old neighborhood. Found three things interesting. My two closest neighbors houses sold recently. The one next door went for a nice price. And then sold again for a significantly smaller price shortly after. The neighbor behind me sold his too. For about a third less than it was on the market for when I was there. And my old house finally sold too. For $9,000 less than I sold it for myself! And mine was an "impending foreclosure, take what you can get, we're doing you a favor" kinda sale. And it needed a roof bad! The house behind mine sold for $7,000 more than mine did three years ago. But that was still $33,000 less than the last asking price I saw. Wow. Of course the downer is that the house next door is no longer owned by Mr. P. Wonder where he is now. May have to find his son, who lives on my cousin's block, and see.

Today is the day to appreciate those blessings that you didn't know you had.

The Bush That Stole Crimmus

I am feeling a bit less ill today. So I will return to my usual illness, already in progress...

G.eorge B.ush done stole Christmas!!!! I say this because I was out walking the dog last night, and noticed three pitiful displays of Christmas lights. This may not have been much to think about but for three things. One, that was for the WHOLE block! Two, they were (indoor) lights in windows only! It was five days before Christmas!!! I mean that would have been fine for the day after Thanksgiving, but this close? The spirit ain't going around either. Maybe it is just me, but I ain't feeling it. Nobody I know is feeling it. And it seems that even the advertising is a bit less than usual. Or is it just me? 10 months is far too long just for a glimmer of hope...

From The Voice Recorder...

This next post comes from the mind of an ill individual. Of course some of you would contend that it is my natural state. I won't argue the point. Could get quite embarrassing to be wrong and lose an argument that is supposed to prove you sane!

What follows are thoughts mumbled into a voice recorder by a man in a dark place.

It’s hard to be misunderstood, for the greater good
It’s easy to misunderstand, when you don’t understand what it is
In this case the greater good is what’s best for everybody else in the long run
Although it is really not best for me
Long run or short run
I sacrifice because, well, that’s what I do
For that greater good
I stick myself in the line of fire of resentment
from many
For various reasons
Because I promote that greater good
Over the desires of right now
The good for now versus the good for later
That overreaching thing that will bind everyone together is not what’s understood
It’s just what is now that is desired
It is what is now that’s only important to those I am in the line of fire of
At this point, I am not even sure that I understand what it’s worth is
I’m not really even sure if it is worth it
To me
Or to them
I stand in the breech, hoping to forestall an attack on those behind me
But they don’t understand
Or they don’t care
Or maybe it is just that I don’t understand
And they maybe do more than I do
Probably should just step on
Get out of the way
And find my own fate
Find my own understanding
Find my own way
Maybe the whole time, what I have been doing has been fruitless
And unworthy
Only time will tell for sure
But maybe it is time for me to stop
And find my own path
Again…

Of course, I blame the pharmaceuticals for this...

Pissed!

I am sick as hell. Niagara Falls has seemed to relocate to somewhere in my nasal passages. The sneezing is downright painful. Feels like I have a firecracker exploding in my head in triplicate. I may or may not show my face before Friday. Now where is that damn order form for Nana's soup?