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Bin Laden Found!!!

CAIRO, July 30 (Reukers) - The search for reputed terrorist leader Osama Bin Laden has ended today. It appears that five women from the United States and England have hunted down and found the fugitive who has eluded the powers that be for years.

The five women got involved when one of their friends called them to vent. New wife Nikki Bin Laden had some suspicions that her husband was having an extra-marital affair. So she called several of her friends to talk and vent her frustrations. What happened next was a scene right out of a movie. Several of her friends volunteered to help find out what was going on. So Nikki paid for airline tickets for them all to meet her. After a few days of investigating, the sneaking husband was found in Cairo, Egypt. He was found in the company of Nefer Larouche, a french model and actress.

Apparently the ladies had him under surveillance outside the Cairo Hiltonian. Several tips led them to this particular place. And their stakeout was born. They managed to sneak into the hotel and gathered at the door to his room.

A former special forces drill sergeant was witness to what happened next. "I saw a bunch or women gathered around a door. They looked REAL serious. They breached that door like one of my old training units! I wish I had them in Iraq! That was A-1 asskicking right there!"

Jazzy, 36, Jersey City, New Jersey said, "Yeah son! He thought he was slick! But we hid in the bushes until he came back. Caught him all hugged up. So I sent the pics to my homegirl so she could come and bust him! I got the pictures on my Crackberry! Wanna see?"

Lee, 38, Atlanta, Georgia had this to say, "We bust that sucka in his grill with some bricks, that's what happened!! Knocked one of his teeth out!"

Jaila B, 35, Atlanta, Georgia added, "It's really no surprise. I told my girl that she had to perfect her tongue lashin' skills but she wouldn't hear of it. Now look at this madness."

Carlene, 24, London, England stated, "I was gonna just make up a bunch of stuff to embarrass him in front of that chick. But when I saw him all nekkid with her I said "You have exactly two seconds to explain before I give you a vasectomy""

Ms B, 35, Brooklyn, New York quipped, "My BFF is so open off this good for nothing dude that its just ri-damn-diculous!! And you know what else? He corny as hell! He was laying up in there just playing with Nefer's titties! I mean, how ain't that corny as shit? He probably thought it was clever or something! He NEEDED to be busted!"

"What the hell kinda name is Nefer anyway? I am with my homegirl. That shit was corny!", stated Jaila B.

An animated Lee added, "Yeah I said it! I'm saying it loud and proud on eyewitness news! I got my girl's back all day! Ride or die, ya heard me!? He better watch his back, because we gonna shank that fool and finish him off next time! She told him about fooling around wit Nefer! You gonna pay, dawg!"

Another witness, LL Cool L, had these thoughts, "Man! Them women were serious! I almost got ran down! But I saw that look before and knew to move out of the way!" He had this to say regarding the capture, "Who knew it would go down like this? But then again, they got Al Capone on tax evasion..."

A third witness, R. Jizzy, stated "Man, I am glad I was here with my boo! I would hate to get caught up like that! I ain't never seen a man that tall cry like that!"

It seems that the $25 million reward is just icing...

But when questioned about the potential windfall, the ladies had this to say.

"Why you gotta be all up in my financials?", said Carly.

"Well, me and my girl Stella figured we would go to NOSEYVILLE and "conversate" with a overly curious person or two...", said Jaila B.

"You tryin' to be down? You wanna ride my jock? Huh? Why you gotta try to ride me like a rodeo show?" Said Jazzy.

"If you see me ridin' fly. Lookin' like a rich bitch, don't hate!!!", said Ms. B.

"Nefer you better be glad you ran! Cuz we got something for dat ass! And we know where you live! You best grow some eyes in the back of your head, ya chickenhead!! Um. And I thought I would take a little time off from the job. This backlog of blanket orders is getting outta hand!"