A Dyssturbed Mined

A New Year And A Day.

2012-01-02T02:19:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year folks!!!

Not much else to add at this point. I am just here inflating my totals for this year.

And to wish you the above.

And just because.

I would tell you that I have stuff to share but just haven't yet decided how much. But you probably heard that before. So I will just share stuff without the foreshadowing...

Anyway, love you all. See you in the later!

And Now... None

2011-10-30T03:46:00.001-04:00

R.I.P. Big Ma.

I got the news about an hour ago...

And Then There Was One

2011-10-27T15:00:00.000-04:00

Life has ways of being interesting. A lesser known fact about me is that I have had nine grandparents. How do you ask? Well... My father's parents, one and two. My mother's parents, three and four. This is the usual configuration for most people. However life happens and sometimes there are additions. In my case it happened several times.

My mom's parents divorced.

Her mom remarried, five. After a (not very long) while, he passed. One gone, I was just a babe. I wish I had known him, I am told he was a really good man.

My parents divorced a couple years later.

Not long after, dad's mom passed. Two gone. I can barely remember her myself. But she lives on in the memories and stories of her children. A very kind and intelligent woman and mother of 13. Three years is not nearly enough time, especially when there were so many others to share her with.

Not long afterward my mother's father remarried, six.

Not long after that my father's father remarried, seven.

My father remarried. Though that bond came her parents, eight and nine.

It is around this time when I am really aware and can remember people and events. So the relationships began to develop past familial to personal. Mom's mother was Grandma! Straight, no chaser, grand parent of all grand parents. For me she was the most constant. The greatest presence of all the grands. She also happened to be my family's Madea... But I digress... My mother's father, he was number two. So much I can say about him. Too much going through my mind to even write it. That was my man though. My father's father was a ghost to me. An occasional visit here and there. It was hard to be a part of his life since he relocated to California before I really got to know him. Which of course meant that I didn't really know his wife either. My mom's step mom. She was grandma too, but without the capital "G". She was a pretty nice lady from what I can remember. But there was something I couldn't put my finger on that put up a barrier. I guess the families never really quite meshed. Her children never quite felt like uncles and aunts. Her grandchildren never quite felt like cousins. I guess they really weren't because after her death, I didn't see much of them. After his, they became pretty much legends... My step mom's parents are the last two. I will be the first to admit that this was a strange relationship. I never had a problem connecting with either of them. But it was not really a grandparent grandchild relationship. More like beloved great uncle and aunt. There was a certain distance between me and my sister and my step mom's family as a whole. Just never really engaged with the clan. No nights spent over folks houses. No cousins ever came by. Now that I think back, it was almost always a case of me going where they were. I guess to a kid, one way don't cut it. In fact it probably explains the distance between my brothers. Meetings usually on their turf, not mine. Hmmm... Different post that. But back to it. Pappa and Big Ma were their identities within the family. Poppa to me was a stereotypical good humored southern farm boy. Always happy to see you. Honest, hard working, Salt of the earth kind of guy. A great big old teddy bear. Big Ma on the other hand quite a bit soft spoken. Seemingly as small as he was big. Always willing to take up the conversation or relate a story.

This is the grandparental landscape as it was when I was five. It remained that way for several years. Then my mom's step mom passed. This was the first grandparent I really engaged with who moved on, three down.

Things stayed stable though my teens. Mostly... Grandma was the next to go. This was the one I really connected with. I got a lot from her. I remember one incident that sealed the deal. She had a fireplace in her house. There were pictures of all of her all over the place. I remember mentioning to her (with my lip poked out) that she didn't have a picture of me up there. She gave me that "are you effing kidding me?" look. Then she said something that pretty much meant the same thing. Then she steered me to the photo albums. Told me to look though them. Needless to say after a few moments I felt like a complete jackass. And never more loved... Best believe that a couple of years later upon my high school graduation, hers was the first picture I delivered. Four down.

About a year later Grandpa was also gone. I think he was heartbroken mostly. He took Grandma's passing, and the circumstances, really hard. First time I remember seeing him cry. I will always remember the lesson he taught me about respect and paying attention to what folk say. Seems he sent me to the store. Gave me a list of stuff to buy him and I could have the change. I came back with a half assed order for him and the bounty of the gods for myself. I think he was a little pissed. I remember the laughter more. And that had more of an effect on me. I will never forget that. Mostly because he never let me. Five down.

A couple of years later, my father's father and his wife returned from California. His health had starting heading south. As had her memory. They needed to be cared for, so they came home. I got to spend a little time talking with him as an adult, Digging through the stories and history that he had available in his head. But there was not enough time. At least I never thought so. Six down.

His wife was the one where the connection was weakest. As I said, they were in Cali most of my life. When the came back she was in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's. By the time of his funeral, her memory was mostly gone. Pretty much everybody was a stranger to her. I remember the last couple of conversations we had. She looked at me with a sad and apologetic look and said "I'm sorry, I don't remember you." I was slightly taken aback. Remember, Dad is one of 13. 13 who were fruitful. So there were a lot to remember. Even in the best of circumstances, that statement was not unexpected. So I tried to explain who I was. We both felt better for the understanding achieved. The next time I saw her, the conversation started the same as before. This time I simply replied, "That's okay, I remember you". Not long after that she joined her husband. Seven down.

Poppa was the next to leave. He was a good man, who lived a good life and raised a family. Can't really remember that man ever having anything bad to say about anybody. We were always happy to see each other. My biggest regret is that we didn't have more of each other in our lives. Eight down.

This leads me to the somewhat deceiving title of this post. See Poppa passed years ago. So there has only been one for over a decade. Big Ma is 93. Good health and a bit of spunk to boot. She and my father celebrated their birthdays together and the family showed up. I still smile when I picture that scene, She was sitting in the chair by the window. Somebody asked what she wanted from the store. She replied that she wanted something to drink. After folk asking about various soft drinks and juices and getting "no" as a response, somebody (I forget who), said "The hell with all that Big Ma want her a DRINK!" The very satisfied grin she wore after that pretty much told that tale. She got her a little cognac for her birthday drink. Job well done! I also remember looking at her a couple of times during the event. She wore a beaming and satisfied smile while the late winter sun beamed down on her through the picture window. An beautiful day, a good drink and surrounded by family in celebration. That included my absentee ass... I have to say her last birthday was a good one.

Today she inspires the writing of this post. Because of recent events, one may soon be zero. A couple of weeks ago, she fell and broke her hip. The doctors said she needed emergency surgery or she wouldn't walk again. The surgery was successful I guess. However there were some complications that ended up in her falling into a coma. I was by dad's house this weekend. She is there, sleeping. I stole a quiet moment to hold her hand. Not believing that after 93 years that her time may have arrived. Though her end may be soon, her legacy is strong. And like the others, she shall live on. In me...

I Work The Black Page...Here And There

2011-09-17T01:49:00.000-04:00

For some reason, I am getting the urge to start or even write this whole post in song lyrics. In the last two minutes I have fought down the urge (mostly, see title) to quote lines from Sting and Stevie Wonder as openings to this post. But while they might speak to some thoughts in my mind, they don't speak the words needed for THIS post.

See, I am here because of two things, fear and reemergence.

Fear has kept me from leaping into the future. I feel myself being TOO cautious. I fully understand why. I just don't want to end up back where I was before. But overcompensating is bad in this case. Slow feet take more time to cover the same ground. I find myself in a funny place because of it. The mind knows. But the mind believes different.

To illustrate that point, I got a story for you.

Way back yon three quarter score ago there was a young man. Freshly enhappied and newly wed. Young dude and his new bride arriveth in the magical kingdom of Toronto. And being young (and dumb(ish)) he loudly proclaimed that he would take her to the highest venue in the land. And when they would arrive at the high, he would drag her across the magical floor that looked upon everything below it. So up, up, up, up they went until reaching the highest plateau. Around the dark circle they strode, until they beheld a most wonderful sight. Why it was the brightness of the sun blazing up through what appeared to be an enormous hole in the floor. They walked to the very edge of what seemed to be oblivion. They gazed down upon the kingdom. They felt like a king and queen even as they gazed down upon men who fancied themselves Royals. Many men named Jay in suits of Blue attempted to defeat these men of such lofty goals. To which the new bride uttered "That's so cool". And off she went. She floated across the bright abyss as if an angel with new wings. Her journey began with her new husband's hand in hers. It ended with that hand empty. The husband had attempted to fly with her. But his foot never actually crossed the threshold between the solid ground and the lighted abyss. It seems that his mind KNEW that there was a magical force field called plexiglass there (damn you Rio!). His mind would NOT believe that the next step on solid ground called for a 1,100 foot drop before his foot would reach that ground. Needless to say, attempts to get him to venture out were (mostly) in vain.

I tell you this story to say that I find myself again not able to put that foot where I know it should go. When I think about it, I wonder why I am hesitant to walk into the future. When I don't think about it, not walking seems normal. That said, I think it is going to take some more work for me to reestablish my freedom. I have shed some of the shackles. This one is the most challenging. Challenging because my mind is quite the formidable opponent.

From The Black Page,

TSSE

Randomness Returned

2011-08-11T02:21:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I just can't turn off. Oftentimes it feels like I am on a ride, completely out of control. Sometimes like that stunt that killed Indian Larry. Just surfing the seat of a moving motorcycle. Nobody steering. Not sure if or when it will lose balance and fall the hell over. Yet sometimes thrilling.

Then there are times like now when I am completely bored with everything. Not that anything is wrong. Just...ugh! I am finding that the things that have been occupying my time are not that occupying anymore. I am starting to think of the opportunity costs of the time spent. Like time not spent here.

I sometimes wonder if letting myself get away from here changed something. I mean at this point I am down from one post a month to one this year. Okay two this year. The decision to not BWM here anymore also kept me from wanting to share anything. I guess that could change. Also reading the stuff I wrote gave a third person perspective that I seem to be missing.

And I realize that, even as I write this, that I have way more to say than I can express. My organizational skill with the words is a little dusty and a bit overwhelmed. I am spending more time thinking than writing.

Maybe I will try to rediscover the dude that put the other 400 odd posts out here. Take my laptop out on the porch and let the scene inspire me to see things as only I can. Or I can just talk about people...

Can't wait to read this to see what I think about it. After I tell myself "That is so random..."

Anyhow, I am up much too late! Guess I better Hulu myself to sleep like I was going to before I started typing...

Randomosity.

2011-05-10T23:11:00.000-04:00

What up?

It's been a long time
I guess I left you,
Without a damn thing to read through...

Eh... I knew I shouldn't have done that. Guess I am getting on the train outta Cliche'ville.

Feeling a little random. So a little random you shall have.

I just sat and watched a movie based in Lansing, Michigan of all places... while in Lansing, Michigan!

You know The Lakers gos swept!!! And I can't get the vision of The Blog Wife in her Flakers shirt. All pink and stretched from east to west... Sigh...

I sometimes wonder what my previous life was like. Must have been a real asshole because I haven't done enough in this life for the karma that is kicking my ass in this lifetime.

I stopped watching TV for a while. Got addicted to Hulu, Miami Vice especially. When I came back, I found that it doesn't keep my attention like it once did. I blame the waste of good airtime on American Idol, Dancing anything, stuff that survives or gets fired, etc.

Wanna hear some crazy shit? I just semi watched/was watched by a preview/making of feature of a movie on one channel that was actually playing on another channel. WTH?

BTW. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is a very strange yet somewhat cool movie...

You know, I have been doing some reading. This place is not my happy place. Therapeutic yes. Happy no. But I guess I always knew that...

My entertainment lately has been flipping between MSNBC and Fox News. Left wing nuts on one channel and Right wing nuts on the other. But now I understand how they are gonna fuck us all in the end. They are in it together. I mean really? Who do you feel is really representing YOUR views and values in Washington D.C.?

The America I thought I was growing up in is really dead. Mostly because there is no respect left it seems. The rule of the day is to be rude to others and screw over the poor, the elderly and the disabled and children. And of course folk these days think that they are entitled to mind everyone else's business while loudly maintaining their right to their own privacy.

I think I realize the other reason why I don't spend much time here anymore. I am too damn easily distracted...

With that I will bid you goodnight for the next six months, or until tomorrow, or whenever...

GOOOOOOOOOOO WIIIINNNNNNGGGGGGSSSSSSS!!!!!!

A Dyssturbed New York Adventure: Prologue

2010-12-30T10:39:00.003-05:00

Heads up New York! I'm on my way next week!!!

Not sure exactly what that means outside of my reason for going.

But I shall find out as it happens!

For now, that is all!

Lights and tunnels

2010-11-05T08:40:00.002-04:00

In life we often find ourselves in a dark place. We get there for a variety of reasons. What we end up with is usually a gigantic stress sammich! And just as often we don’t realize that the dark place is a tunnel. We trudge and trudge through life. We go here and there. One day we look up and find that we don’t exactly know where we are going. This is not to say that we don’t know where we want to go. It’s just that we can get a little lost. We find ourselves detached from the sun that provides energy for growth and warmth. So we stagnate. We grow cold. Not knowing what else to do, we keep trudging on. After a while we will realize that there are only two ways to go in the darkness. We could go back. But going back often means choosing stagnation. It also means quitting. Some do. Then there are those of us who are stubborn and refuse to quit. We realize that we are indeed in a tunnel and choose to go forward.

Of course the problem with tunnels is that they tend to be dark and by definition, enclosed. We discover we are in them when in the process of trudging through life, we run into the walls. Eventually we get our bearings and keep it moving. We walk with the purpose of leaving the tunnel. The end goal is to return ourselves to the sun which has nurtured us and given us the energy to grow. So we trudge in the darkness. Forward or backward we move in the hope of seeing some change in the darkness. We look for that change as a sign that our journey through the tunnel is nearly over.

For those who go back, the light means sameness. Sameness as in the same old shit, every day. This is also known as stuck in a rut. Folk get stuck for a variety of reasons. Some choose to take the “default package”. That is taking whatever you can get for the absolute minimum of inputs. Often this is what those who complain about welfare recipients are talking about. Some get stuck because they try, but can’t get any traction. Often this appears to be someone moon walking in place. And there are others who by no means want the “default package”, but are bound by outside forces and can’t make the desired progress because it would be counterproductive. It’s kinda like being in the deep end of a half full pool while rescuing a person who can’t swim. You could save yourself but the other person would definitely drown. I could go on with many more examples but they are outside the scope of this post.

What is in the scope of this post are two main points.

First is that most people don’t care about the circumstances of YOUR plight as long as they have a convenient container of blame to drop you into. Usually it is the assumption that folk are trying to get all of the handouts they can possibly hope for (the “default package”). Often it is quite the opposite. Most people would choose to not be dependent on handouts if they could avoid it. The silly part of it all is that most of us need to make decisions that set up our future at the time when we are the least capable of making such long range decisions. To my experience there are VERY FEW 18 year olds who are ready to be a) financially independent, b) career tracked, c) parents, d) responsible. There may be some who may be one (or two) of the above but generally speaking most are not. So a lot of bad decisions are made at the time when a lot of our best decisions NEED to be made. And these decisions tend to follow us for QUITE a while. And because of this, ruts happen. Other things in life happen that also side track those who did plan ahead. So ruts happen. And they are hard to get out of because usually the things that you need and don’t have are the things that got you there in the first place.

The second point says simply: The light at the end of the tunnel is not always a train. Sometimes you just find that sunlight that you were looking to regain the whole time. My entire household was recently walking a tunnel in group mode. The kids were trying to ride the path of the “default package”. They turned it around and got back in school, one even has employment. They decided to move forward after realizing that walking back would only get them the nothing that they had before. I eagerly await their emergence from the tunnel. The Wife is no longer moonwalking. She has found the kind of traction that having a husband with a G.O.O.D. (Get Out Of Debt) job (with benefits) brings. Now she is able to plan more and worry less because she is no longer fighting a losing financial battle. For my own part, I was able to pass my mother on to other rescuers and was able to worry about getting myself out of the pool. This in turn turned me into a rescue with my wife keeping me from drowning. Fortunately for us both, our new employers gave us life preservers and are filling the pool so we can climb out on our own.

I may or may not include audio or video for this post. In case I don’t, I am sure that a smart bunch such as you can find access to my new theme song.

Golden by Jill Scott.

Relative Value

2010-09-02T16:33:00.006-04:00

This post contains bitching, whining and moaning. If you ain't up for it, I would understand an early exit by you.

These days I am in the unenviable position of... well... being unenviable. For a number of reasons.

Seems the world likes to stamp "Can't do no right" on my forehead on a daily basis. I may just be paranoid but it seems to come from everywhere. I say this because, try as I might, I just can't seem to make anything I devote my efforts to work out.

Job searching has been relatively fruitful yet extremely frustrating. I say RELATIVELY because I have gotten more contacts in the last 30 days than I have in the same number of months. Yet is is frustrating. You know the kind of thing where you get thrown a bone and hit upside the head with an even bigger bone? So far, I have been submitted for three different opportunities and gotten the "Your skill set looks nice, but we think that those skills are a bit rusty. The client isn't gonna want to pay what you are looking for." Fine. I understand the way things go. And I can understand how that might be important for skills in a more dynamic setting. But really, the stuff I do hasn't changed much in a couple of decades. In fact the great majority of folk in my industry think that this stuff is old, outdated and needs to go the way of the dinosaur. In fact, a large portion of the practitioners in the skills I have are nearing retirement age.
(oh dang. Another rejection letter just this minute... Niiiccceeee!!!!)
Where was I? Um... Ah! Yes. So since my skills are probably rustier than a Model T sitting in an old barn, I am told that I want too much. What I want is not even what the market price is. Or for that matter, not even what I made before. But still, that is up to $10,000 more than they want to offer. And that is without a benefits package. I of course am willing to do this because 1) it is a lot more than I am getting now. 2) it will bring my skills current. 3) it will end my extended staycation and give me something to do with my days that won't inspire me to pull my damn thinning ass hair out! (I hope). 4) a momentary sacrifice to be more attractive in the future is only smart business. What do I get told AFTER I give the go ahead to get me in? I get "I don't want to get your hopes up. But that gap is gonna make it hard." WOW!!! So now because there has been virtually NO opportunity for me to stay current (it ain't like I got a mainframe in the basement, them things COST!) I am not even worthy of an offer that a brand spanking new college graduate would get (with benefits)??? I am really tempted to get into more debt, get some sexier and newer skills and leave this mainframe shit alone. If I gotta start at square one, might as well do it with something with a better future. Let them deal with their coming resource shortage without me. BTW, even Wal-Mart don't want me. For anything... SMH...

Of course that translates to other things as well. My overworked wife keeps complaining about being "tired of being the only one to come up with ways to fix stuff" To be fair to her position, I SHOULD be helping out more (AKA paycheck). Now this be a double edged sword to be sure. I could continue to concentrate on trying to fix the problems (leveraging my rusty skills, where I have experience). Or I could stop that (apparent) pipe dream and concentrate on "helping" out (minimum wage job, likely food service or something like that (which I have yet to convince anyone that I am the right candidate)). Path A hasn't worked yet, but is likely to get things squared away a bit sooner. Path B also hasn't worked yet, and is unlikely to make much of a difference but MAY be easier to accomplish. Path C requires more debt and investment to acquire new skills to make A and B unnecessary. Of course it means money goes out and not in. Path D quite frankly is a lot more lonely and in the end only benefits me, yet may be counterproductive and even self-destructive.

Oh and the major problem I am having with that whole "tired of being the only one to come up with ways to fix stuff"complaint is that I am the only one to hear it. Never mind that there are THREE other adult residents in this house who are lacking jobs and completed educations living up in here. And usually there are long term visitors that can come and hang and suck up very limited resources and she is cool with all that! Yet I am the only one who seems to be even attempting to improve the situation.

Unfortunately the one thing I don't have is money. Seems to be the only thing that matters. Never mind that I am trying to add another bread winner to the fold. Forget the fact that I try to do the house husband thing since it is one of the major things I can do to help until I can get money. Put aside the idea that I am trying to limit the effects of erosion to relationships and resources. Discount the fact that I worry about her more than I do myself. Ignore the words that say that her family helps us more than mine does (more on that in another post). AND it isn't even worth mentioning that I am in probably the worst possible position I can see myself in without my health going further down hill, being incarcerated and/or actually being homeless. The big thing seems to be I don't got no check. Oh, and I seem to give bad advice since no one wants to listen even though I tell folk in great detail, what is coming if they continue to do what they are doing...

Needless to say, I am not feeling a lot of love for being a person or having feelings. I sometimes wonder what things would be like if I had a fat paycheck and didn't do shit else but but provide for things that money can purchase. Yeah, I got that rent. Your Navigator payment is in on time. I will bling ya. All the purses and shoes you can handle. Y'all want video games and unlimited groceries and all the toilet paper you can wipe them unlimited groceries off with? Heat lights, water, cable, gear? I got ya! BUT you gotta rub your own damn feet, hold yourself when you need comforting, get your relationship advice from the internet, teach your own damn self how to cook or pretty much anything else you need to know. Look for the check, just don't look for me. I'll be at work, or "working late." Would that make the world better?

At times I think I am being overly cynical with that. Other times I am afraid to even think about what that answer might be. It saddens me greatly to think about my value being about what I can buy for people rather than what I can do for them.

I strive for some balance. I would like to do both. I would like to do it all. But right now I can't, so I do what I can. Somehow that just ain't enough. Sometimes I wonder if this is all worth it.

Mostly because (again) It saddens me greatly to think about my value being about what I can buy for people rather than what I can do for them.

(Now I remember why I started this little space. To talk to folk who are not the people I bitch about. Mostly to get some understanding. Or virtual bitch slapping when warranted. Either way I get outside perspective. There is still a lot unsaid so this might be kinda random. As usual, comment if you feel)

Elation, Pain and Suffering.

2010-08-24T20:38:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I literally could have killed somebody. Likely somebody at Ford. Or somebody in a Ford.

The backstory?

Well, I finally got a good contact for a little cheddar again. I mean a REALLY good contact. You know the kind where the recruiter starts sounding REALLY excited because they are about to make a mint off of your ass? Anyway, I had this really good conversation with this recruiter who had a really good feeling that she could get me in this position. I even played the gracious candidate where I threw her a good in-the-range rate and THEN compromised MORE to make prospects look even sweeter. She got as happy as I did. And I got pretty happy as hard as I tried not to. Probably because SHE sounded like she was gonna make bank too!

Lemme pause for a moment to hip y'all to the contract game, if ya don't already know.
Contract houses get job openings from their clients. Their job is to do the marketing and vett the personnel. They of course don't do this for free. In IT, it is not unusual for the contract house to make as much as, if not more than the actual talent. So if you ask for say $30 per hour, the contract house will probably ask the client for $60 per hour. You work at the client, you work for the contract house. The client does not have to pay benefits or worry about extra employees when the work is done. The contractor gets a higher rate in exchange for the lack of benefits or job security. The contract house basically double dips. They get paid for marketing and providing talent AND get a cut for getting the contractor the work. Everybody's happy!!!

Okay, fast forward to Monday. I make the obligatory and necessary follow-up contact. Me being full of hope was hoping to hear "Still thinking about it". NO!!! No such luck. I get "For some reason they put the position on HOLD!!!" WTF? ON HOLD?!?!?!?!?!?!? Now all of a sudden either there is no work or they aren't sure? On Friday the client was being picky. For those who don't understand why I am outraged, I will explain further.

Excitement on the part of the recruiter means that recruiter sees themselves getting another bonus. Which means that the candidate is a near slam dunk for the job. Expectations were high (I know I shouldn't have...) The putting a job "on hold" is the HR version of the pocket veto. Kinda like taking the job off of the market without actually taking it off the market.

What that all means is...

Essentially I just got it with no vaseline

The Verge of an Epiphany. Or a Dawning Realization...

2010-08-04T12:16:00.006-04:00

Sometimes in life you come to the realization that you had things right all along. but for some reason you decided to change up, probably to get along with folk better. But I am realizing I had it right way back when I was a kid. But to be more social, I started talking to people. I thought it to be the right thing. But at times it doesn't feel right. Likely because I waste life doing so. I have lately been finding myself less willing to engage in conversations because I tire of the ill use of my time on this planet.
This is A Boondocks Example of how things go at times.

Another example is a recent conversation with my son.
Him: I guess I am not appealing to women.
Me: Um. Do you mind being a little more specific so that we BOTH know what we are talking about?
Him: She (his girlfriend) said that she didn't think I would look right buff and now she changed her mind.
Me: Why?
Him: I saw a comment she made on Facebook about one of her friends. He was all buff and she said "Lookin' good!!!" So now she thnks I would look okay buffed up.
Me: ... (I can imagine you know what I am thinking...)
Him: I guess I don't understand women.
Me: No man really does.
Him: But why?
Me: Okay. Pay close attention. I am gonna tell you, and it's important.
Him: Okay.
Me: They are all crazy!
Him: But why?
Me: Why is it important for you to know why they are crazy?
Him: I guess so I can figure them out.
Me: Trust me, you won't. All you need to do is accept that they are crazy and then you will be able to adjust to things properly.
Him: That doesn't help much.
Me: It will, you just have to spend a little time working it out in your mind.
Him: Ah forget it. I don't really care what she does any more. mumble, mumble, mumble (as he is walking off)
Me: Hold up! That's it? You just walk off in the middle of the convo?
Him: I thought we were done?
Me: Really? How did you get that idea? Did we agree that everything was said? Or one of us said that we were done?
Him: No. But I said I don't care any more so I thought we were done.
Me: You saying that was expressing a thought. It wasn't us ending the conversation.
Him: I thought it did...
Me: I take it YOU are done.
Him: Yeah, I don't wanna talk about it.
Me: Fine! I mean it is rude as hell to walk the hell off when somebody is talking to you. Especially when YOU started it. Ask some damn body else the next time you need advice!

Needless to say that I learned more from this conversation than he did.

Yet another example:
My wife's sister finally got hitched. We thought it never would happen so I only really started believing it after BOTH said "I Do". Now if you even halfway get along with your sister, this would be one of the happiest days in your life. Especially if you were IN the wedding. At least that is my perspective on it. And this is whether or not the sister is being a bridezilla. Yet on this very happy day, my wife is in tears. The next day when I asked her why I was walking around pissed off without being aware of the ACTUAL reason, she replies "nothing". Hmm... two lies in one. Obviously "nothing" is not the problem. And a lie of omission at the same time. So now I get really pissed at her. She was willing to drop some not so veiled references to what was on her mind at the reception and on the ride home. Yet when asked about it, I get "nothing". I get that answer often when I ask her what is bothering her. I am on the verge of not asking any more since it is a waste of my life.

What I can gather is that some foul shit was said to her during her time with the bridal party especially in the previous week (the wedding was on Saturday). Knowing them, a lot of it was about me. This to me is mind boggling since:

I treat her family better than they treat me.
I treat her family better than she treats mine.
The stuff that they supposedly don't like me for are bad things that happen to my life and not actually bad things that I am doing to her.

So. I guess I better start listening to the eight year old in me and keep my damn mouth shut, stay to myself and give back only what I get from folks. I am not predicting that it will make things better. For that matter, I don't believe that it will make things worse.

BUT it will keep me from wasting time talking to folk who don't want to hear what I have to say. No matter how bad it may go for them...

Summer Madness

2010-07-17T17:35:00.003-04:00

I love the summer. Yesterday I realized that the days are only gonna get shorter until the first day of Winter. That depressed me slightly because it means... well the hell with what it means. I don't wanna depress myself anymore. But I am sure you all can figure it out yourself.

But I do love the summer. Sure, it gets hot as hell. But I don't have to move snow. Or freeze. And it is generally easier to stay cool than it is to stay warm.

More importantly I can ride my bike in the summer. Just me and my machine. It's performance is fixed, mine varies. Which is to say that I am what determines how well we work as a unit. I like that. Glory, mediocrity, disappointment, they are all up to me. Which way the adventure lies. How far it goes. How long it takes. Me, Me, ME! For a lot longer than I sometimes care to admit, it is my happy place. Adventure and solitude in one package. Some days it is the only freedom I have left. I could go on for a while, but I won't.

Why? Because if you are familiar with the bicycle concept you know the truth in the next statement. I shall free my mind and my ass will follow. Quite literally and somewhat figuratively.

More plainly, I am telling you that I am getting my ass the hell up out of this chair and putting it on my saddle. Right now I could use some freedom. I spend all kinds of time in this chair that winter traps me into. No use in staying locked up on purpose when there is a better choice.

Catch ya on the flip...

It Occurs To Me...

2010-07-13T03:00:00.003-04:00

...that Grouchy Smurf had the right idea.

...that I am not always the nicest person.

...that I am just fine with the above a lot of days.

...that because of the above, the one two above exists.

...that I am losing my voice, and that is why I don't exercise it here much any more.

...that my desire for change is getting so strong that it is somehow interfering with that change.

...that depression is a very powerful force.

...that people generally just don't give a shit until they have to deal with something on some level.

...that we need two or three more good political parties, because the Democrats AND the Republicans need to be the minority part at the same time. Maybe then they will help each other pull their heads out of their asses.

...that during the summer that I am rediscovering the joys of cycling, a legend is likely summing up his career by becoming a sidekick to his sidekick, all because of a crash. Lance, this beer is for you! And here's hoping that Levi can make up those two minutes and small change before Bastille Day!

...that no one really cares what goes on here anymore.

...that the above is likely true because I don't seem to care.

...that the above is NOT true because time, access and guilt keep me away.

...that one can indeed type quite accurately and complete a thought while reading the insides of your eyelids.

...that the guilt is creeping back. Guess I better get back to what I am supposed to be doing.

...that it ain't gonna happen tonight because I keep nodding off and trying to fall the hell out of this chair!

...that there was a bunch of other stuff that I was gonna say but the bed is drowning out my voice with it's call.

...that I still got love for ya, and I am sending it out to you now!

Good night and have an interesting series of tomrorrows...

25 Shots to the Dome: A Headphone Experience

2010-06-03T04:13:00.000-04:00

Played randomly from the playlist...
Sing along if you know the words...

Ay, Yo Doug!
What?
Put ya Bally's on
Yo Rick I was about to, but I need a shoehorn...
Why?
Because these shoes always hurt my corns!

It's got to be real
Girl, I could write a book on how you making me feel
I know I'll never find
Another who could match the love you're giving to me
So...

DAVE! The dope fiend, shootin' dope
Who don't know the meaning of water nor soap!

Would you mind?
If I touched,
if I kiss,
If I held you tight
In the morning light , yeah?

When I feel you dreaming
I think of sunsets
How high my high gets

Got to be there
Be there, in the morning
When he says hello to the world

But did you know
That when it snows
My eyes become large and
The light that you shine can be seen

They say time can heal a broken heart
And true love never ends
So why not start where we began

Here we go
Walking the road of ecstasy
Taking the load
Of this whole world off our shoulders
The door is wide open for you
The door is open for me

You think that you're in love with me
I think you're beautiful and should be free
I'M JUST A YOUNG MAN GOT LOTS OF TIME
Right now that kind of thing isn't on my mind

Tell ya people that Im comin by (Yeah Yeah),
Got that shit that'll get ya high (I'm on my way),
Talkin' shit cuz I'm off tonight,
and you really got me feelin' right

Where were you, when I said I loved you
And where were you, when I cried at night
Waiting up, couldn't sleep without you
Thinking of, all the times we shared

Let me lay it on the line
I got a little freakiness inside
And you know that the man
Has got to deal with it
I don't care what they say
I'm not about to pay nobody's way
'Cause it's all about the dog in me

And cant belive
You hurtin me
I met your gurl what a difference,
What you see in her you
You ain't seen in me
But i guess it was all just make-believe

Grandma's hands clapped to church on Sunday mornings
Grandma's hands played the tambourine so well
Grandma's hands used to issue out a warning

For a while to love was all we could do
We were young and we knew
And our eyes were alive
Deep inside we knew our love was true
For a while we paid no mind to the past
We knew love would last
Evry night somethin right
Would invite us to begin the dance

Pretty brown eyes
You know I see you
It's a disguise the way you treat me

Now, Im craving your body,
Is this real
Temperatures rising, I dont want to feel
Im in the wrong place to be real

I heard he sang a good song, I heard he had a style
And so I came to see him to listen for a while
And there he was this young boy, a stranger to my eyes

Sometimes a girl
Will come and go
You reach for love
But life wont let ya know
That in the end
You'll still be lovin' her
But then she's gone
You're all alone

Baby seems like everywhere I go
I see you, from your eyes, your smile
It's like I breathe you, helplessly I reminisce
Don't want to compare nobody to you

You are my light, I have to go on
Have me anyway you want to
Just take care and love me
Til my tension's gone

Trashmen didn't get my trash today
Oh, why? Because they want more pay
Buses on strike want a raise in fare
So they can help pollute the air

When I first saw you Babe
You were lookin' good on Soul Train. (OH!)
Keep stalkin' for you, I saw you there
You were spinnin', dancin' everywhere
I thought to myself
She was so fine
The ways she moved
So freakishly
So was so divine
I thought that
Hey Babe
What she needs is me

Whatcha gonna do?
You can do it too!
The TURBO!!!
Five, six, seven, eight
Right, right, right
Left, left, left
Right, left, kick, kick, knee, knee
bend down and roooollllll!!!!
On the real, I better get on this, Wedding is coming soon!

And my own personal favorite as a bonus:

My favorite thing
Next to looking into your eyes
Is making love with you (mmm hmm)
Another one of my favorite things
Next to holding you so so tight
Is squeezing you all night (oh yeah)
Well don't you know that holding you, squeezing you, loving you
is my favorite thing

401 And Beyond

2010-05-13T13:06:00.003-04:00

Hey! Yeah, I know. Shocking! Four posts in one week!!! I don't know what is wrong with me!

That aside and now that I finally got 400 out of the way, I shall push forward.

There have been thoughts that I have been putting to "paper" during the hiatus. I told myself that I wasn't gonna post that kinda stuff no more because you didn't come here to be depressed or listen to me complain. HOWEVER, I see the error in my ways. And I am inspired to come to you via pirate internet! That kind of motivation forces me to get back to basics. I gotta go old school on ya. So you get it all.

That said, I will be organizing those thoughts and posting them. Posting for several reasons which I won't bore you with. And I am sure you can assume some yourself...

But there are five (right now) posts that I am working on finishing. When done they will be mass uploaded and posted on at least five consecutive days... Don't feel bad if you wanna skip them. I won't. Because I must write and these fall in that category of posts that are "audience optional". They will be in similar format and share the same label as this post. Correction, SIX posts! Just thought of another... Don't know for sure how soon they will be up or if they are even next in line. But they are coming... Just read the label

POST 400!!!!

2010-05-12T20:30:00.007-04:00

Yep.

400!

Something special.

Mmmm Hmmmm....

Wrote a song about it!
Like to hear it?
Here it go!

Sun-shine

Blue Skies

It's a wonderful daaaayyyyyy!!!!

Post Four Hunned is here now!

On the twelfth of Maaaayyyyyyyy!!!!! (of 2010!)

Hey! I could have been worse! I could have lazy blogged and you would have had to LISTEN to this instead...

Now that that madness is out of the way... Back to the regularly scheduled madness and rantings! Which shall include renewing the blog list, thinking about another (or no) background, and getting back on schedule (at least ONCE a week)! Peace!!!

Post 399

2010-05-07T21:14:00.000-04:00

Wow. Can't believe I actually arrived here. The post before my fourth Post X00. Brings me to a little reflection. Having... no, PUBLISHING 400 separate streams of thought was not necessarily in the plan when I started. A few false starts. A couple of notable “breaks” and here I am. To be honest though, I thought that post would have been done and gone over a year ago. What can I say? Shit happens, usually to you. But I find that I need this little activity in my life. Even when I ain't got a damn thing to say.

Um... Yeah. This is one of those times. You know like when you pick up the phone and call someone and say I just called to talk and breathe into the phone most of the time. Hey it is a slow news day. My playoff beard was saved from an early shaving last night by the score of 7-1. And Tigers games on the radio will never ever be the same again.

BUT! I did notice one thing. I have been a little bit lazy about closing the blinds at night. So when I sit here There is a blackness backing my monitor that is occasionally interrupted by some other lighting source. It helps me concentrate. Gets me thinking. Which has gotten me writing again. And it never hurts when the lady in the house behind mine shows up in the kitchen at night in her “lady beaters”. Still ain't sure what her ethnicity is, but I know what I like.

And today I feel kinda good. A couple of half and unexpected surprises have allowed us to take a step forward. And it wasn't even anything that important. But still, forward. That was enough to lift my spirits above the cold, rainy, tornado watch weather in Southeastern Michigan on May 7, 2010.

Well, I guess I better stop here and think about the next post. Right now, I have absolutely no idea of the subject, theme, look, feel or any damn thing else that might make it up. But I gotta come up with something special. My 3.5 fans are important you know!!!

Reblog 2010 pt. ?

2010-05-06T00:47:00.002-04:00

You know, I am sitting here wondering if this is yet another post that I write that I will not publish. Several times over the last few months, I have gone dumpster diving in the lost and found. Trying to find writing again. I look over the other stuff I have thought about this year. In various stages of development. I planned a whole series, with a theme. Weeks have gone by since then. I have not the will to continue them. And don't at all feel bad about that. I had a conversation with a fellow blogger about the state of blogging in our lives. At that time we both had a few distractions going on. There was a bit of new commonality that we shared. Not necessarily good this time. We were feeling that we were telling the same stories as we had before. Had nothing new to contribute to the community at large. As such, he said he was really thinking about quitting and his post of three days prior was his last. I hadn't updated in months myself. Of course that is somewhat hard to do when you are unaccessed. Then again, I am different too. Yet with nothing to report. You know Same Shit Different Day and such. I think that is why I have trouble finishing these now. Recently I seem to have fallen into a rut. Kinda good, kinda bad. Good because there was some let up in the crushing stress of the household. Bad because that let up allowed me to relax. I wake up every day and feel some measure of joy that things aren't worse. Joy that things aren't as bad as the same day last month. Yet there is always that dread that things will surely become worse without a bit more diligence. Sometimes it is hard to muster though. Things go better on sunny days. And I do find that I am a bit more optimistic than my immediate family members. I guess the adversity has given me a different perspective than the rest. Having lived longer than the others, I see that patience has it's place. Sometimes we have to play for time and let things play out as they may. Kinda like that old grizzly bear standing on that big rock in the middle of the river during Salmon spawning season. But sometimes even I lose sight of that. Much like I just lost sight of what the hell I was trying to say... I believe I just over thought my way out of a good point. But I find I do that a lot too now. Cause that had absolutely NOTHING to do with why I sat down here and started to commit thoughts to “paper”.

Why DID I start this you ask?
Well...
Mostly cause I miss you guys.
I seem to have lost touch with a group of folk who have become very dear to me. I can make all kinds of excuses, but I won't waste your time or mine.
2010 is supposed to be the year that I reconnect with the world. I have been somewhat successful with that. That gigantic distraction called Facebook became my favorite place to visit while online of late. It allowed me to reestablish connections with many people who I have known. And with time being at a premium (that is when I can steal some time online) Facebook comes at the expense of spending less time with you all. Okay, most of you. I actually have managed to engage a few of you more than I did while blogging. But that aside, I need to stop missing you.

I need to upgrade my reconnect overall. I realized that recently when I took on an assignment to do my father's branch of the family tree. I was surprised at how much I didn't know that I think I should. My reconnecting is getting a failing grade I think. I guess to not be a hermit, I can't quit quitting. (Yeah, I stole it. I don't smoke anyway! (much like many Michiganders these days!))

So I continue. I will continue to reach out to many in my life.

The task right now is to jack some Internet and find our just how many of you are still out there. Or for that matter, who even remembers me and where I be.

Of course I gotta be successful in jacking that 'net first...

Releasing Unshed Tears

2009-11-25T14:37:00.004-05:00

I come to you today in a rather different mood than usual. I told myself that I was gonna stop coming here until I had something worthy of your time. Posting on the regular about the same old complaints is no way to treat the folk you don't hate. So I took a step back to work some stuff out. Of course some have found that I have filled that space with a bunch of time on Facebook. That time was well spent when not on Farmville or Mafia Wars. There I am reconnecting and engaging people more than ever before. I have even found a bit of clarity. I got there in no small part to Brother Brown Blogger. I am not sure he even realizes how much. Yet the struggle continues. I have yet the achieve the comfort level necessary to return here full time. I guess I feel now that time spent blogging could be time spent job searching. So I only show up occasionally these days...

As I said though, I come to you today in a rather different mood than usual. I thought I was keeping it together and everything was cool. I was lying to myself. I feel a hot damn blubbering mess. I feel that way because death has visited my family three times in the last 11 days. Three. As I said, I thought I was okay. But then I have realized that the memorial blog posts haven't been written. They aren't in draft. And tears were unshed. I guess I could blame my mood on a case of S.A.D.q and some Maxwell song lyrics, but that just don't cut it for my satisfaction.

I guess the whole life and death thing becomes very magnified at such an unusual time. Here one day, gone the next. Very philosophical and yet a very real and pressing issue. Makes you question things. If I were suddenly removed from this existence, how would it affect people? As it stands, right now my father's line would not continue through me. My wife's load would not be eased because disposing of my remains would fall on her and whatever family members who could help. These two things keep me awake at night. I am pretty comfortable with the rest of my legacy I guess. I have loved as best I can. I have taught as well as I could when I could. I have been as good a person as I could be (for the most part).

I guess there is a lot of pent up frustration along with a lot of sadness. That is the only thing that explains to me why a song had me losing control of my tear ducts and emotions. I guess thinking about the possible meanings of Pretty Wings and people being gone and the state of health and the fleeting nature of life opened the flood gates. I have had an opportunity to get up and move out into the world since I started this post. I have a little more perspective on the whole incident. And I am cool with what happened and why.

I guess my reaction was a bit delayed because of where I am in my life. The usual anger at not having any more chances was not there as much. There is still a little bit there. Being housebound, I couldn't get to see my Uncle Jack during his last days. But we spent much quality time before his last sickness. And I drunk a my fair share of his wine an was exposed to a bit more world culture than if he was not around. Hell, I might just do something unlike me and blaze one up on his behalf. It was one of his favorite hobbies. My Uncle Ronald I haven't seen in a bit. He been absent and such and we haven't run across each other. I regret that I didn't make it to his baby boy's funeral a couple of months back. As a result, I missed another opportunity with him... And I never got to know my cousin's husband really. They moved to Texas a while back. But she is extremely dear to me and sweet as pie. So I feel that loss more for her than for me.

I guess I will continue to worry until I can leave a little security blanket around for my wife. And I won't be all the way done with being here until I have left heirs for my family and the world. But I feel better now that I have shed some of those tears. I acknowledge that there is more love to be spread. There are more moments to share. There is still time to spend with those who are still here.

In fact I am gonna spend a little more time with the little visitor that is here right now. She finds nothing more hilarious than to run like mad and getting in my computer chair when she sees that I am not in it. Guess I gotta sit through some Beyonce and Ciara videos now...

p.s. Hassan, don't think I don't see the irony in me being on this side of this conversation today...

Sorry

2009-11-24T21:51:00.000-05:00

Sorry I had to do it to you! You know I hate comment verification as much if not more than you! But the spammers seem to be the only ones who come by on the regular these days. And fuck them!

So in the future, comments will require verification. Sucks, I know. But I tire of deleting bullshit comments that have absolutely nothing to do with what is going on up in here!

But as always, love.

Special Guest Blogger Alert!!!!!

2009-11-06T12:00:00.001-05:00

Sagittarius (The Archer) 22 Nov - 21 Dec
Positive: Sensual, inspiring, spiritual, very happy, open and honest, doesn't hold grudges, full of enthusiasm, sees the best in others.
Negative: Fears responsibility, impatient, a risk taker and gambler at heart, argumentative, has a lack of commitment, they believe in their talents and are highly disapproving of those who don't.

It's that time again folks. I'm back with another one!

Happy Birthday D-Money AKA Taz

Isn't this just the cutest little thing you ever saw? (just don't tell him that) When he got to the end, he proudly announced to all "I didn't drop it!!!"

This is one of him and Old TSSE splashing in the pool during a Kings Island trip. Note the death grip on the life preserver...

This is my favorite elementary school picture. Now that I think about it, this is the only good one I have. He chose to make funny faces in the rest of them...

This is the proud youngster showing that he got first place in the science fair! He should have, I worked damn hard on the project!!!! (Please ignore the ashy hands, I try but...)

Mr. Suave at his middle school graduation. Can't wait to see what he wants to wear for his REAL (a.k.a high school) graduation!
Huh? Wha? Who else is that you say? Oh, that is me...

Favorite Story: As you may know, kids can be a challenge at times. As Hubby says, "Kids are good for two things, torment and entertainment!" This particular day SOMEBODY (I won't name him but there are several pictures...) was not being very entertaining. He was losing his mind for some reason and neglected to clean his room after the fifth reminder. So I got fed up and sent him to his room to get it cleaned! He had his radio on to help him through the project. Being something of a music lover, he tended to sing along quite often. Not knowing the lyrics never stopped him. I was headed to see how much cleaning hadn't happened up to this point. I noticed Lady Marmalade was on the radio. I kinda got into it. All of a sudden this little ashy brown creature in tighty whities leaps out of the room. He starts twitching like he was being electrocuted (dancing?) and promptly yells "ITCHY ITCHY YA BA DA DUH!!!!!" I was pretty much done for the day after that.

Another Favorite Story: Yet another day D'Angelo was being a little less than entertaining. In fact I thought he had lost his damn rabbit ass mind! Frustrated to the point of exploding, I decided to act. I figured I would try a "non traditional" method of discipline. So I said, "All right D'Angelo, that's it! YOU GOING INTO TIME OUT!!!" He stopped and looked up at me. Then he said in the cutest little four year old voice "Time out for what mommy?" I was done then too! Obviously the time out don't work...

Happy 18th Birthday D'Angelo!!!!

A Profile Ain't Just A Side View

2009-10-09T08:00:00.001-04:00

Oh yeah. Funny incident of the month. Me, my son and a cousin were riding bikes to the store to grab some groceries. On the way back we got profiled. It was kinda slick how the cops did it too. I mean these two ain't the best riding partners since I frequently had to look for them to see where they were. And as usual with the black male of 17 years vintage, they had great difficulty with taking things seriously. Now I am riding at a slow but steady pace. These two fools are every damn where but with me. On the sidewalk, then across the street to the other sidewalk, bumping each other, half a block back, a whole block back. Generally acting asses. I mentioned that particular thing to them when we got to the store.

On the way back, the started the same bullshit again. I pretended not to notice that they were doing it and had decided to quit wasting time waiting for them since they were obviously in play mode. I had seen the cop in his patrol car but pretty much ignored the fact that he was there. Except when I made my own rapid crossover from the wrong side of the street to the right one. I promptly forgot about him when I ran through the hole in the street. I was distracted by the musical tones coming out of my spokes, never heard that before.

I turn the corner and get my stroke on so I could get home and eat. Next thing I know a squad car rides up next to me slowly. My first thought was to be annoyed, I am sure it showed on my face. I wondered what the hell I did wrong. Then he said "Excuse me, are those guys on the bikes bothering you?" I think my face also betrayed the shock I felt. My response, "Bothering me?" I looked back to make sure who he was talking about. "No, they are not bothering me. They are SUPPOSED to be riding up here WITH ME!" I guess he was a little satisfied with that since he said "Okay, I was just checking." Not to be rude, I said, "Thank you officer! You have a good one!"

At this point I am DYING inside with laughter! They caught up after he pulled off. "What did he want?" Trying my best to (unsuccessfully) contain my bemusement I told them, "Um... he just wanted to know if you two were harassing me..." The looks on their faces were priceless! I almost fell off my bike laughing. "Now do you think the two of you could keep up before we all get arrested up out in here for riding while tanned?" So we hit the next two turns and hit the home stretch. I look around and see two bikes riding away from me. One in the park to the left, the other into the park to the right. You'd think they would have learned. So I turn my had toward home and focus on timing the traffic light so I don't have to stop. I notice that the cop who rode up to me was just turning that corner up ahead. Then I hear ANOTHER cop car! This one toggles the siren switch. You know the way they do to make that noise to get your attention. My head quickly turns with a REALLY annoyed look on my face. He keeps going by. I get to the light and lil' cuz catches up. He is mumbling something hateful and violent about cops. I tell him to cool his jets, it ain't worth the blood pressure spike. He then tells me that the second cop with the siren had slowed down to give him the "I'm watching you" signal. This kinda pissed me off a touch and made me laugh a little. My reply to him was, "Shit, don't worry yourself over it, neither of those cops was Black OR Jewish, they are the ones who look out of place around here! Now do you think you could keep up now?"

Got home and relayed the story to the ladies and we had a pretty good laugh about it. Especially after I thought about it and mentioned that the way they were riding, they did look like they were out there fucking with people. I couldn't resist adding a moral to that story...

Captain's Log: Supplemental

2009-10-08T08:30:00.002-04:00

Well, here I am for my obligatory twice a month posting.
Okay...
Kidding really.

Just ain't been able to write much lately. I guess I feel guilty that the time spent should be used chasing paper that seems nonexistent to me personally. I don't even spend as much time on Facebook. And I did that largely to chat jack you all and my family and friends. But you didn't come here to hear about my economic troubles. And I didn't come here to write about them. Plenty has been said about that as it is.

My campaign to "retake the bridge" as outlined in my last post has netted good results. Some underlying issues still have to be ironed out. The youngin's are still struggling with coming of age and being under the roof at the same time. But as usual, that means they are struggling with desires against requirements. Sucks for them. I will not be deterred. I do what I do to improve things. If they feel a bit of discomfort, then they are likely one of the hurdles to improvement. Mostly to themselves or the group as a whole. Time runs short to whip them into shape. The bulk of the work has been done. But the devil is in the details they say. It is the details that are causing the problems.

The fact that one could give a shit saddens me greatly. He will be 18 in less than 30 days. He could not tell me what his plans for his future are. This nearly had me in tears. A manchild born with brown skin in the United States who in 2009 just rolls with whatever anyone decides for him while on the cusp on the adulthood. Tragedy just doesn't even begin to describe this situation. He is taking a voc-tec program where he has changed direction twice since Labor Day. Yet he says that it is what he REALLY wants to do. Yet he has not convinced me. I am starting to think he is wasting his time in the program. I am tempted to have him removed and back to his regular school full time to ensure that he graduates on time. But I don't know if it would be the right thing to do because I just don't know where he is trying to get to. And he either can't tell me, or he won't. That and his discovery of the female type (too soon for him I think!) has taken a strange and possibly disturbing twist. Since these kids only listen to what they want to hear, he has taken half of the advice given him. He got this thing about being a one woman man, yet they come and go so fast that we can't keep track. I told him that getting serious was the last thing he needed in his life right now, for several good reasons. I mentioned that he should have five at the same time and not get too deeply involved until he figured out what he really wanted. His interpretation is that he should have five in a row and try to get deeply involved, until they showed tendencies toward insanity. I think he really missed the point on that one. Oh well, I just hope he is on his own before he encounters the crazy stalker one. I would hate to have to pull my belt off and whoop somebody eles's daughter's ass because she did that Jasmine Sullivan shit on MY car!

The other one has some strange space issues. More important, if somebody ain't using it RIGHT NOW then it is okay for her to do what she will. NOT okay since the inherent laziness means that places on the property, in and out, end up being dumping grounds for her half assedness. She has an uncanny knack for uttering "I don't see what the problem is". This is in response to things such as:

Bringing home strays, human and animal.
"Cleaning" by shifting shit from one place to another.
Ignoring blatantly obvious yard issues.
Mistreatment of the dog.
Her own part in FUBAR situations.
Lightfingering other people's shit.

Okay, let's just say it is a catchall for her just being irresponsible. For instance, yesterday I put them both on the path to refurbishing the property in general. I mentioned a bag of yard waste. This bag of yard waste had busted because my kids insisted on throwing the dirt away. I told them NOT TO throw the dirt in the bag because only the green stuff needed to be removed. Instead of dumping the dirt back into the flower bed, THEY decided to press on as before. The yard waste never got picked up because the bag was too heavy. The chose to ignore me again when I told them to unload the bag and return ONLY the green stuff to the bag, it would get picked up then. They didn't, it rained, they finally tried to move it, the bag broke, they tried to pretend they didn't see the mess, I tripped. Now the bag in question, still full of dirt, made it as far as the driveway next to the house. It is still there. All the green done dried up and is probably compost now. Somehow they can't figure out how to move apparently. In spite of me giving pretty detailed instructions, several times, that a shovel and walking would be involved. But now the dry season has worn off. So the dirt is gonna get heavier and heavier the more it rains. ALL of this I explained to the both of them yesterday. I did this because she said "I don't see why it is a problem. It has been sitting there all this time. Nobody can see it." The paragraph above is PART of my response. The short version of the rest was that she must be a blind ass idiot to even think to tell such an obvious lie.

Sigh... I could write a book on each of them. But to be honest, I am just too damn lazy. Especially since I would feel obligated to write on about my own issues, just to be fair. And I just ain't got the time or energy or desire to write those three books.

Post 400

2009-09-17T18:00:00.004-04:00

Yet to be finished

salad kernel dare a fu

hacked by raplesh_simatupang

On the real though. The gay ass muthafucka that hacked this can eat a dick!

Is raplesh_simatupang foreigner for chokes on dick?

Captain's Log: Stardate 55177.4

2009-09-17T07:12:00.005-04:00

7:19 a.m.
I have been awake one hour and nineteen minutes.
And I am pissed.
Why?
Lemme see...

Awakened @ 6:00 a.m. by multiple alarms
Attempted to page teenagers on lower level
Lower level phone dead
Swore aloud since I made a point of mentioning that said phone should get charged the day before
Got out of my comfy bed
Walked down stairs
Searched for first body to awaken
Found previously mentioned body awake in bathroom
Asked myself WTF am I doing up then?
Left instructions to first body to make sure the other two bodies get the hell up
Banged on door to interrupt the slumber of bodies two and three.
Escaped lower level, but only after noticing(ONE MORE TIME!) that them trifling muthafuckas need to get their cleaning game on.
Returned to upper level to contemplate life and other such things while attending to blog comments and e-mail.
Got fed up that dog had been whining for several minutes with no action being taken.
Asked body number one WHY dog has been whining for several minutes WITH NO ACTION BEING TAKEN?!?!? wait... Imma give you the long version...

"Um... Sir?"
"Yeah?"
"Whatchu doin'?"
"Huh?"
"What are you doing?"
"Waitin' for my clothes to dry"
"Waiting... While you are supposed to be getting dressed?"
"Yeah"
"Wouldn't it have been more intelligent to dry them YESTERDAY?"
"..."
"Hello?"
"Yeah, it would have"
"So why are you waiting NOW?"
"Actually I am trying to get the wrinkles out"
"Uh, huh..." Actually this was me resisting the urge to go into a long discourse about the merits of using an iron... But not to get distracted from my mission...
"So you are doing nothing then"
"Um... yeah"
"Really?"
"That and listening to the dog whine"
"Listening to the dog whine..."
"Yeah"
"And you think this is a good thing to be doing right at this moment?"
"He be whining for no reason!!!"
"Really?"
"Yeah, you know..."
"When has he been out last?"
"I don't know"
"You don't know?"
"Yeah"
"You don't know, yet you feel justified in saying that he is whining for no reason?"
"Um..."
"For that matter, are his bowls full?"
"He just got done eating and stuff!"
I sigh heavily and a moment later I hear a "chink" and then a large white blur thunders up the stairs at me. I open the door to his "bathroom".
"Um... Are y'all using the car today?"
"The car?"
"Yeah"
"Why?"
"I wanted y'all to drop me off and pick me up from school?"
"Really? What's wrong with the bike?"
"Nothing, my legs hurt"
"Your legs...?" Translation: from laying around on your ass?
"Hmm... We'll see..." Translation: You still laying on ya ass 15 minutes before you are supposed to leave, I am gonna do the dishes Y'ALL didn't do last night (while you are at school), I cooked last night, the garbage ain't out (today is garbage day), you been ignoring the dog, AND I gotta constantly pretty much get off in ya grill to get shit done. Yet YOU want ME to chauffer ya ass around? HMPH! (The only reason I even considered it was because there was a bit of chill in the air this morning...)
"While you are standing around, why don't you make sure the other two are up!"
"OK" He schleps over to the door and taps lightly
"Do you think you could actually knock on the door?" He knocks harder. Then again like he actually means it.
From inside the door comes "YEAH?!?"
To which I replied "GET YA DAMN ASSES THE HELL UP OUTTA BED. THE FUCK YOU WAITING FOR?" it is 6:45 by now...

I also notice that the lock is missing from the garage.
Go outside and see that the bag that didn't make it out to the curb last week is still sitting busted in the garage.
Garbage IN the house is still in the house
Dishes ain't done yet they ate for the last two days because I cooked!
Went to see about my sick wife and here he comes with the car shit again!
This of course set her off since the car is messed up and costs money that needs to be put in the rent. The sheer selfishness of the request had her in tears.
AND she went downstairs (very rare) looking for something and was disgusted with the condition of the basement.

Needless to say, there will be me and hell to pay. Been kicking back too long not making waves. Since I ain't been contributing to the finances as I would like to be, I let her steer the ship since she got the wind up in the sails. But it is time for me to take command again. This ship needs her captain. Not saying that Spock is not an effective captain. But he ain't no Kirk. Wifey got the Bitch gene just fine. But command requires the Asshole gene. I got that. That is what command requires. As wifey, and the neighbor lady with the out of control kids, can attest, the Bitch gene is not enough.

p.s. For those Star Trek purists who would dispute my use of the Stardate in the title, DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME! If you however are curious as to where it came from... HERE!

SMDH!

2009-09-14T02:43:00.001-04:00

I don't know about y'all. But I am convinced that this dude is straight crazy! And definitely disrespectful!!!

Um... Okay.

2009-09-08T16:42:00.003-04:00

I must have awaken today in Bizarro world. Why you ask?

I daresay Rhianna betta watch her back! When aged where are they now celebs with huge racks and accents as thick as molasses start performing her stuff onstage, she might be in trouble.

Shit, I gotta start watching the damn Jerry Lewis Telethon again! That was strangely entertaining!

Who knew Charo wanted to be a pop star?

A Song For Nikki...

2009-09-05T14:23:00.002-04:00

I told myself that after the post below, I would raise the flag back to the top of the pole again. Public expressions of mourning shouldn't last forever. And I need to take that private anyway. Already I lied to myself and am posting one more than I told myself I would. (this one)

Tomorrow it is back to the usual blogging and facebook stuff. New post, new status update, different tone and focus. Of course I will still be available should someone need me to get something off their chest. And there is a little bit of smurfy that needs resmurfing.

In short I will go on. But a little closer to a few because of a shared loss. And I shall add one more to my list of remembrances. And I am thankful for them all. I will probably speak on all that in more detail after now.

But there real reason for this post is a song dedication. It may be corny or cliche'. And if for one moment you think that matters, then obviously you have forgotten where you are, the title of this blog AND/OR the dude who authors it! I have been singing this song in part or whole all damn day (which started @ 3:30 this morn nap not withstanding). Since I didn't want to insult your souls by recording that caterwauling, I will let the professionals do their jobs.

Blog Jacking: Nikki - The Memorial Edition

2009-09-05T12:00:00.000-04:00

I have been known to jack a post or two in my time. Usually to reedit one done by someone else to "improve" the experience. All done in fun of course. Particularly to honor the blogger in question. This time is no exception. At least the reason for doing it is the same. However this time I will jack the entire post and put it out there without "enhancements". This post is one of many that were hilarious, though provoking, wildly entertaining and the creations of a very talented (and slightly burnt out) mind.

This particular post was one of my favorites. I linked it in one of my old "Best Of" posts. After this I couldn't get enough of that kooky, wise, gifted, (insert 10 - 12 other adjectives here) blogger known as Nikki Indigo. From then ~~my obsession~~ our relationship grew and she would be in my world forever more!
And... (in her words) "it started off harmless enough, really."

I dedicate this bit of blogger love to you Nikki, on the day or your memorial.

Friday, April 27, 2007

crotchless panties

*sigh*

it's time...

i've put the dirty deed off long enough.

i was ready to squeeze one more week out of them, but it's become painfully obvious i can no longer wait.

it started this morning when i reached down to scratch my pubic area. it was itching as the pubic area is wont to do and i quickly sought to end the discomfort, so i reached under my miniskirt with the intent on scratching hard to compensate for the cotton covering the area.

imagine my surprise when instead of scratching through cotton my fingers came into immediate contact with short, coarse hair. for a minute there i wasn't even paying attention. it wasn't until i attempted to pull my hand from beneath my skirt and snagged one of my unmanicured fingernails in the hair on my crotch that i realized there was no cotton there. incredulous, i lifted my skirt and looked down to make sure i had on underwear (uh, sometimes mornings can be hectic...)

i had on underwear alright, or what was left of a pair of undies i'm sure i'd owned since college. the cotton dangled despondently like cheap lace from the edges of a gaping hole that framed my vagina like a cunt cameo. SHIT. when i'd grabbed them from the shelf this morning they looked wearable...a bit gray and threadbare but wearable. now, as i sit here at my desk i realize just how tattered they really are. the elastic is drooping like drunken lips around my waist, slovenly hugging my hips like an inebriated lover groping for me in the dark. there are other smaller holes everywhere along with a faded bruise 'the crimson bitch' left from one of her visits sometime during clinton's first administration.

not a good look.

time to toss these panties in the trash.

but i need help, because i just can't seem to part with THESE panties. it's like if i throw them away somewhere an angel loses her wings or a bag of puppies is tossed into a lake. on the days i know i'm wearing them, i pray i'm not in an accident or collapse in public so i won't have to show my rag-covered ass to the masses. i've put them to the side numerous times, mentally making note to toss these bad boys out.

so why can't i get RID of them?!?

maybe i've got some kind of attachment issues. maybe this is my version of the security blanket. maybe i wanna fool myself into believing my ass is still the same size it was when i was in college (while completely overlooking the fact that the material is so stretched out i could wrap my couch in it).

or maybe, deep down inside, i'm using them as a weapon against bad dick. i mean, the power of these panties to shrivel a dick is a sigh to behold. it's like watching a person crumble to the ground after being shot in the chest.

either way, something's got to give. any suggestions?

R.I.P. Nikki Indigo

2009-08-31T13:58:00.005-04:00

My buddy Nikki AKA Nikki Indigo author of Indigo Trail of My Thoughts passed away yesterday of complications from a rare autoimmune disease called Dermatomyositis (with lung complications). She will be missed.
(You will have to excuse the self-taken-bathroom-photo-style that is now standard on the internet. But it is one of the few she sent me... And she seemed to always be wearing a slightly devilish grin like in this photo, so I had to share!)

We recently had conversations about the state of our health; The strange and rare condition that resulted in her hospitalization and 60 pound weight loss; The state of blogging and why we both needed to get back on the grind; Employment, unemployment and self-employment; and the wonderful people we have met online and in person through blogging. Among other things...

And she made me promise her two things near the end of that last conversation. The first is the story below this one. She revealed to me that she enjoyed my story telling very much, and that I should tell that story. High praise indeed from one so gifted with the art of the story. I was flattered to no end of course. I returned the favor to her by revealing that she was one of my favorite people that I had yet to meet. And that I HAD to meet her (and a few others) in person or I would be greatly disappointed. She seemed very flattered by that. It is amazing how somebody can make you feel like a million bucks by letting you know they think you are cool! She had that way though. So I dedicate "Bennie Kick" to my friend Nikki!

The other thing I promised was cookies. We got to talking about LadyLee's cookies and how neither one of us got many. Me because I am way up here in the D and her because her family killed them and she had to get her jack on to get the three that she ate. "Like crack" I believe was her description of them. I told her I get that same response up here. That led to the family business conversation. So I promised her I would send some down since she said that "homemade cookies do wonders toward making a recovery". That I do not doubt. Strangely enough I thought about that yesterday afternoon. I was wondering when she would call me to make arrangements for the shipping and such.

I am saddened because I never got the chance to send those cookies. And that she likely didn't have a chance to read the story. And for the fact that we won't be able to have that meet and greet on this world.

Nikki, you will be missed.

Until I can figure out shipping to where you are, here are some cookies.

Okay, I was gonna surprise you with a little cake too! So here's some of that also!

Bennie Kick!

2009-08-30T00:45:00.001-04:00

I dedicate this post Haremite Nikki who demanded I write this. I hope she is enjoying her journey up above!

This little gem comes from the frozen days of the house search.

Okay, so there was this dude who was helping us with our house search around the end of last year. We will call him Bennie.

For those who may be unfamiliar with the whole story, I will give the short version.

Wife injures leg.
I move to her mom's place to take care of her.
Around Thanksgiving she mentions that she is not renewing her lease, which ends at the end of the year.
So we scramble to look for housing with about a month to get things done.
I was unemployed and The Wife worked for an auto parts supplier, right around the time of the bailouts...
Did I mention that the car had no heat?

Okay, now you are caught up.

So this dude Bennie was one of the people who was contacted about a property or two. He was really eager to help us find a place since commissions around Christmas are a good thing. Not that we had very much spirit since there was a distinct lack of funding and a great deal of stress. We had very specific needs since the locale we were looking in would keep the kids in the school there were currently enrolled.

On the day in question, Bennie had a place or two to show. We made a meet time around 6:30. On this particular day, Mother Nature and Old Man Winter had a confab and decided that it would be great fun to make for a White Christmas. The bastards! They succeeded. By the time it had stopped snowing, about 6 p.m., there were at least a good 6-8 inches accumulated on the ground. That sucked big ass big time!

So on we went to find the place. We were freeing our asses off because of the no heat. And we were slip sliding in a cross country skier's paradise. We found the street in question. We turned. We got stuck! We rocked it back and forth and got unstuck. We proceeded down the street and well, got stuck again. This time I had to get out and push to get unstuck. Lemme tell you standing in a foot of snow in ankle high boots is no fun! So we managed to get it moving again. Wifey, who was driving now, almost stopped! So I humped it through the show and managed to jump in the, still, slowly moving car. We find the place. Did I mention that there was a foot and a half of snow and really nowhere to park on the street? We quickly have a discussion about street versus guessing where the driveway was. We picked the driveway. So a hot bit of acceleration and a little sideways driving and boom! Yep, stuck halfway in the driveway in two feet of snow! Yep. I know, you saw that coming... We decide to take our chances with the street parking. So we somehow manage to get the car halfway out of the driveway and into the middle of the street. By this time the city road crew was coming through. And we were blocking them. From what do you ask? Plowing the street of course. Where were these mothafuckas at 15 minutes earlier BEFORE I was sweating in 18 degree cold. Anyhow they managed to shovel and push us out of our stuckness. Partly because we were in their way. So we got unstuck from the two and a half feet of snow and down the blizzard dumped street. Of course going the way they came would have worked better since that had been plowed already, but they were blocking and shyt!

That ordeal over we managed to get back to the service drive. We went around the block and found that they had been there already. It was like night and day. We felt like we were driving in a trench with a clear bottom. So nice it was. So we made our way back to the house for the meet up with Bennie. We chose the freshly plowed street parking this time. Now by this time Bennie was a bit behind schedule. But he finally made it. He pulls up in this big ass 4wd Magnum V8 pickup truck and flies up into the driveway. He jumps out into the three feet of snow and grabs his shovel. Now he got no gloves, no hat and we are looking at him like he was some kinda alien at this point. He does a halfway decent job of moving enough snow so that Wifey wouldn't have to put her bad foot in the snow too much. She was wearing a boot and sock so there was nothing to keep her foot dry should she step too deep.

Now I must stop to paint the picture in a little more detail. We were in a community north of 8 Mile. Detroiters understand what that means. To all others, let's just say that folk there tend to not have an afrocentric point of view if you get my meaning. But again, north of 8 Mile. And it is near 7 p.m. around Christmas. So it is dark den a muhfugga out already. And there is a group of people near a house. One obviously black. One looking quite Mediterranean/Middle Eastern. The third looking either White, Black, Hispanic or Middle Eastern depending on who you ask and what the hair game looks like at the time. Needless to say, we might have looked a little suspicious in that jewish and black neighborhood.

So he finally gets enough snow moved for us to get to the porch. We are freezing our asses off because we had to drive there with no heat, and waited a extra half hour for him while getting unstuck and standing in the snow. He starts punching the combo to the lock box on the door. He finds no success. He tries it again. No luck. Third time, no charm. So he says "That's strange. Maybe she gave me the wrong combination at the office." We agree that it is a plausible explanation for the troubles and joke about it. He calls the office. The lady on the phone gives him the same combination that he has been trying. He tries it again since she tells him that there is no other combination listed for that property. I bet you know what happened right?

So now there is a mystery afoot! He decides to check the side door for another lock box. Me and Wifey are standing on the porch waiting. He comes back to his truck and is on the phone by now. He is speaking very animatedly in Not English. We look at each other. My Spock eye brow goes up. He goes back to the side door saying that he is gonna see what's up. A minute later we hear hard bangs on the door. Repeatedly. So hard in fact that the picture window starts pulsating like a 15 inch subwoofer. We start looking at each other a little more meaningfully. Then start looking out for the polices!

Finally Bennie sounds successful in having achieved entry into the place. We look at the door waiting for him to open it. Right then Wifey says "I ain't going in there if he opens that door!" I look at her like we didn't just go through a frozen ordeal to get a look at the inside of the place. I guess she reads my expression which I am positive says "Oh we going our frozen asses in there!" She then says "I'm 'bout black as night, people aren't always sure what you are AND "some" folk might think the guy we are with is the cousin of an al-Qaeda". I pause... "And do I need to point out that we are in Oak Park?" At that I go straight up Jar-Jar Binks on her ass and say "Um... Yousea point is well said!" We have a giggle over that and a moment later Bennie comes around the corner a touch pissed. He tells us that there is furniture all up in the joint and it looks like somebody left a meal on the stove. Recently...

Wifey and I share a look of stark horror at that announcement. We start moving toward the car. Judging by the amount of snow that was on the sidewalk and driveway, either the person was likely on their way home from work, or they were in the house and was hiding when he started kicking the door in. Needless to say, we got the fuck up outta there with the quickness! You wouldn't have known that lady was walking with an open toed foot through four feet of snow.

But we did find out why he was so pissed. Apparently either the house owner listed it with someone else or rented it out himself and Bennie's company out. Which was a breach or their contract. And he definitely wasn't gonna earn no commission on that joint.

That was some crazy shit right there! We still laugh about that. I do wonder what happened with that house and such. And I wonder what he is up to. Sucked for him that somebody else managed to find us the place we are in now.

But we will always remember Bennie Kick (your door in)!

Hiatus?

2009-08-12T00:00:00.000-04:00

I may be going on another blog break. But not because I want to. Seems that the phone company has performed an interdiction on the long distance. Of course the internet and local service may be soon to follow.

So if you don't see me here or on Facebook, don't worry. I am still here, just out of contact!

Damn! Just as I was getting used to blogging again!

Somebody need to call me dammit!!!

Untitled?

2009-08-11T00:00:00.005-04:00

I spent nearly the entire day in front of my computer yesterday. Entire like I was working double shifts with a nap in between. I mention this because that is a sure sign that the rainclouds of depression have fully fallen on me. I find myself bored after too long sitting in this chair. But I fought through the boredom because it was the most interesting thing that my mind could come up with.

At one point I couldn't touch the keyboard to continue, yet I couldn't remove myself from the chair. I put my head in my hand. I managed to glance at the mirror wall next to me. The body language spoke volumes. The guy even looked like he was crying. It was strange because my own eyes were bone dry. I did a double take on that one. It gives me pause even now. Took me 10 minutes to finish this paragraph.

The stress of things as they are is killing me.

Something has gotta change.

Before I do...

This post is on a 23 hour delay. I never liked posting twice in the same day. Hopefully I will be out of this chair in the next hour. Or at least before it posts on the blog...

A Thought From Facebook

2009-08-10T00:00:00.000-04:00

"You know, I am looking at my friends list. I am slightly surprised at the size of it. I am surprised because I haven't always been the most gregarious person. Yet for such a loner, I have a fairly large list. And these are just the ones I found on Facebook! I have some memory of everyone in the list. I guess you never realize how many people have touched your life until you see them all together!"

This was a little something that occurred to me while I was roaming around on my Facebook page earlier. The thought popped into my mind when I realized that the 152 people are only percentages. 82 relatives most of whom represent only ONE of my grandparents and their relatives. And they are only a part of the group as a whole. And still not all of the ones on Facebook I suspect.

About a dozen and a half of classmates from middle and high school years. A drop in the bucket considering the numbers of that population. Another dozen and a half of so of folk met in blogville. I still don't have everyone in the bloggerfam up in there. This is the largest percentage on FB for the population. And I have yet to meet one in person. Aside from Six that is. Known her all her life! As yet I have found no one from my college years.

But if you add all the folk together that have passed through you life who were not one time meetings, the list can get quite big. My own list would likely be over 500. Even more if you include all of the younger relatives I haven't met.

Wow.

I Now Officially Hate The 'Burbs!

2009-08-04T01:48:00.004-04:00

Yep. I said it. I am officially hating on the suburbs like never before. As some of you may know, I am currently living life on the "other side". The other side of Eight Mile Road. If you are from Metro Detroit, I need not explain. For the rest of you, it means I done moved to the 'burbs and went all bougie on ya asses! Wasn't my intention. But since the school was helping my son's better than the others, we decided to keep him in the school he was in when we got back together.

Fast forward to now. I ain't mad at the convenience of having things nearby. 7-11s. Tim Hortons. Supermarkets. Pharmacies... You get the idea. None of that stuff is close in the hood. I am good with having things close, even if they do close early.

No.

My problem is that I got my old ass "If Lance Armstrong can get back on his bike after three years and finish on the podium at the hardest bike race in the world, I can ride mine too" self up and went on a one hour tour. A one hour tourrrrr..... The weather started getting up... Oh. I digress...

Eh-nee-way!

I got on my bike. I started exploring the neighborhood and nearby environs. What I call my turn and burn sessions. Turn a few corners, burn a few calories. At random of course. This particular day, called today, I ventured west. Turn and burn as I said is random and usually in the depths of the neighborhood. Now I have seen some nice houses in these parts. The street I am on now is quite nice in fact. BUT... There is some really nice real estate in these parts. But I hit northeast Southfield. And I am completely dissatisfied with everything I lived in and everything I thought to live in to date (with the exception of The Dream House...). I recently found an old friend who I hadn't seen in years nearby. He was not far from me or the area just explored. I remarked that I liked the house and neighborhood he was in. I got to see a lot of it because I got a little turned around trying to find him. Really nice stuff, but not exceptional to my eye. Well this stuff was exceptional.

Tree lined streets. Circular drives. 3000+ square feet. Quiet as you please. And most importantly no nigtasticalness! And one was even for sale! I thought that I had found Shangri-la or Atlantis or something! And it was hiding right under my nose! Hidden within the confines of roads I travel often! I know I am sounding all gushy over something that might be somewhat blah to others. But it was damn near a life changing moment for me. For a second I thought I heard someone say "I HAVE to get THAT house" But I was alone. I had let that escape my lips aloud. That NEVER happened before unless I was looking at a mansion. Like the dream house...

Suddenly the new digs looked a little less charming. The neighborhood a bit less fetching. I remarked to The Wife upon returning from my ride, "You know we live in a nice looking ugly neighborhood."

My point? I now officially hate the 'burbs. Why? Because they made me want to STAY!!! But in a bigger and better house!

Side note: I looked up the price of that house that was for sale. $240,000! A touch steep if you ask me considering the housing market I bought in. BUT, for the first time spending nearly a quarter of a million bucks on a house doesn't seem all that crazy to me.

Hmm...

Damn 'burbs.

Oh and screw you to all the folk who live in the pricey market places who are laughing at me right now. Not everybody lives in a place where you spend $100k on a shack with no view!

Facebook Stalker

2009-08-03T14:34:00.002-04:00

Okay. Not REALLY stalker. But I make a game of it doing the friends list. My own little six degrees of separation thing. I have found some interesting coincidences. Some puzzling. Since most of my family, that I know of, is on my page now. I have been trying to figure out the people who keep popping up in my suggestion list. Some I can, some I can't. Most of them I can at least categorize them because of their guilt by association. The biggest mysteries are the bloggers. My mind is usually not in detective mode when I am on FB. So I have some trouble trying to figure out who these people are who are common friends with my favorite bloggers. I find it a fun game though. Of course if you find yourself reading this and am not on my FB friends, throw me a bone and send the request already.

If you want to that is...

No pressure...

BDRII

2009-08-02T12:00:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday nephew who resembles me a great deal!

I am actually a week late with this post. I feel some shame. But I was hoping for a newer picture. Ah well, parents! What are ya gonna do? I guess I will post it on the actual date though.

Us chillaxin' in the olden days! I think his nickname for me at the time was Mr. Sandman!

Yep. It's a Mini Me! In my hat! Of course at this stage the hat went half way down his back!

But he was reppin' the D!!!!

Already trying to follow in his dad's footsteps. All up under the wheel with no L!

I would have posted a video of some kind but he never manages to stay in one place long enough. And I gotta clear out my phone memory a bit to take some.

Happy Birthday Brandon Deon Royal II!!!
AKA Tippy Toes AKA Poona AKA Me All Over Again AKA Mini Me AKA LB AKA Bran Bran AKA...

God Don't Like Ugly

2009-07-29T08:30:00.004-04:00

So I have heard.

Seems to be true. Cause my ghettotastical neighbors have been quite quiet the last couple of days. Why? Seems like the trouble making teen in the house got himself arrested! I ain't completely clear on the whole story, but he got caught! Seems he got into a fight with someone else's ghettotastical neighbor. There may have been injuries enough to warrant hospitalization. But he did get grabbed up by the long arm of the law there! He might have been a fugitive from the law before the incident. I don't know. But I do know they have been rather quiet since then.

That and I may now understand the source of tension from the banshee of the crew. Jealousy. I don't think I mentioned the neighbors in-depth yet. But needeless to say the matron of he clan got a little into her cups and confessed that her kids were driving her crazy. Actually, trying to kill her was the description she used. She sees that the teens in my house are mannered, sensible and rather low key. Hers, the opposite. So she is a bit jealous! Hey, I did my job! Don't hate because I know how to apply the Foot in the ass/Kiss on the cheek technique with a certain level of mastery! Hopefully things will turn out better for them. So they can quit hating. Or at least move...

I will get into them in more detail later!

Later!

More Stuff

2009-07-25T13:18:00.001-04:00

Here I am again, looking back at another distant last post. And I can't for the life of me tell you why that is. I am spending more of my online time on Facebook than I used to. But that is not really an excuse. Myspace gaming took up way more time before I stopped. And now that my "Add My Family" campaign on FB is dying down, I am spending less time there too. And I didn't know there were so many of my relatives on FB. And I still ain't got them all added! But I digress.

Maybe my happiness factor has increased and hence my inspiration to sound off has decreased. But I don't read as much either. I would feel somewhat out of contact but most of you are on FB and are nearly as guilty as me at not being in Blogville.

I think it could be that I don't have enough good news. Or enough bad news. Or neutral news... I mean I could go on at length about my Niggatastical neighbors. But why? Although they are a bit more ghetto than the neighbors I had in the hood. And we are in a black and jewish community. Hell, now that I think about it I WAS the ghetto neighbor in the hood. Well not me personally but guilt by association and common address. Y'all done heard them stories at length though.

See. I started this post over an hour ago. Now I forgot where I was. Damn Facebook! And shame on all of you who ain't bloggin' or facebookin' on the reg! How the hell am I supposed to keep up with all of you?

:: getting down off of soapbox which mysteriously appeared under my feetz... ::

Something

2009-07-13T03:54:00.003-04:00

Wow. 21 posts in half a year. I feel shame. Missed June entirely. Double shame.

Can't promise things will improve either. Ain't been feeling the words in my fingers.

I have achieved some contentment but am still unsettled.

I guess the time I spend blogging was the time I wasn't spending with my wife. It is the only thing I can think of that will explain my absence. She gets the time now instead of you. It ain't that I don't have the time. It ain't that I don't have stuff to say anymore. But I have been communicating to the world lately. But Facebook is the debil and takes up that time. I guess that will subside soon enough.

I am thinking about starting up again. My mind is all aclutter (yeah I know it ain't a word!) and I need to start the cleaning. I probably will focus again. Maybe I will sleep at night again.

Now I have run out of words and boredom is taking control. Yet sleep still doesn't come.

Later.

A Favor If You Please

2009-05-31T02:00:00.002-04:00

Hey fam!

I need a little favor from you all. Have a look at the flyer above (click to enlarge) and give me your critiques. Specifically:

How are the prices?
Language?
Formatting?
Does it generate interest for you?
Any suggestions?
Anything else that comes to mind...

That isn't the actual name, but this is the internet. Can't be too careful. The part about the "no junk" makes more sense with the actual name. Of course if you already know my name then it might make sense to anyone born before 1980. Maybe...

I am gonna shut up now and let you guys talk. Cause don't you hate it when somebody asks you something and then keeps running off at the mouth (or keyboard) like I am now?

Gas, Grass and Ass.

2009-05-18T08:36:00.002-04:00

Gas - Put in lawnmower.

Grass - Cut with lawnmower.

Ass - Possible award for cutting grass.

What? Y'all thought I was talking about something else?

Now that you know how part of my day is going? How is yours?

A Little Video...

2009-05-08T15:48:00.002-04:00

Okay folks! Here is the promised video!

If you don't want to watch the whole thing, pay close attention to the coolness that happens at 1 hour and 45 minutes!

Luv ya all! Now it is time to eat!!! Bagger Dave's anyone?

The Big Day!

2009-05-08T00:10:00.003-04:00

Yep! That's right, the big day is here! Graduation time! The direct prelude to "get reacquainted with your blog" day.

Been a long hard road getting here. And a somewhat challenging one lately. Which reminds me, I got a couple of stories to tell... But, I digress (already...)

I would expound further, however the days tribulations have enervated me to the point of somnolence. <~~ see, it's working already... I know I also said I would give you guys a link so that you could share in the wonderfulness. In case you didn't have jack shit else interesting to occupy your time that is... But it seems that there is no link to the broadcast at this point. But the link to where it will be (at some point) is right here. I will make sure to post it when the actual video is up.

Anyway, this pie is about done. So I am gonna take it out of the oven and put me in the bed.

Oh yeah, for those who are interested and lucky enough to get a live feed, the festivities kick off at 10:00 a.m. e.d.t. (too damn early in the morning if ya ask me...)

Later!
Louis Sanford
AKA
The New Graduate!

Ain't Dead Yet!!!

2009-04-27T18:05:00.003-04:00

But I am working hard on finishing finals!

I am guessing that blogging will be my release from the tedium of the job search that shall start in earnest after Friday! Or next Wednesday... I forgot about that paper...

Anyway, I haven't forgotten that I promised y'all some info. I will get that to you soon. Definitely before May 8th!

See, what I WAS gonna do...

2009-04-10T04:59:00.004-04:00

Yep, what I was gonna do was drop my dulcet tones on you all in another audio post. Then I remember encountering resistance from several people who shall not have their identities outed. Today...

So...

You get to read instead of listen.

Every thing is cool.

That is all...

Okay, just kidding.

But things are cool.

School is still going on. The countdown is officially less than 30 days. Graduation looms. Hopefully that damn math proficiency that I was avoiding like the plague won't come back and bite me in the ass. Especially since I found out that you can only take that sumbitch ONCE a semester!!! What the fuck is that all about? Especially when I couldn't find the damn study materials on the website they sent me to! Do you realize how much math I have forgotten in the many years since I actually took a class? What a backward ass university!

Classes this semester have been a bit more challenging. Why? I am glad you asked...

I moved at the beginning of the semester. It was distracting for the first three weeks.
I resent three point five of the five classes I am taking this semester. I wasn't expecting to take them.
Cruise control is on.
Did I mention resentment?
Is May here yet?
I gotta get a job now?
I can't regurgitate facts like I did two decades ago.

Okay, enough of that.

I am surprised by how much my early semester affected the midterms. That and I am tired of group projects where folk don't wanna do shit. Thank god the last one is on Monday! And that I don't have to go to Astronomy lab any more!!! Just gotta turn in work for that one. One more class session and a paper for Business Anthropology. Hmm... Two weeks of class and then the final Finals!!! Yeah! I gotta be honest though. I really don't care what these grades look like as long as they don't keep me from commencement. Not that I ain't gonna continue trying. But it took 24 years to get here, I already got one and a half middle fingers up!!! Ya feel me?!?!?

Dang! Now I gotta go all they way back to being a grown up.
...
... ...
...
Dang!

On the other hand, the job is always easier than the training for it. And the payments go in the opposite direction. Who invented that system anyway?

I will try to post more since the workload is letting up. I can justify spending time creating documents that don't have a due date and a rubric. But you know how that goes. And how I go...

OH!!!
By the way. You are all invited to my graduation!
Turns out that while tickets are limited, there is an internet simulcast! I will have to get the link out to you closer to the event!

Update: I passed the proficiency exam!!! So that little test won't hold me up for another 15 weeks!

A Heart Stolen

2009-04-03T09:22:00.005-04:00

A year ago today, this wonderful little individual was born.

Who was to know she would turn out to be this bigger wonderful individual a year later!
Look at that smile!!!
Just a grinnin'!
Who could resist that face?

Really though! I could! This chile is da debil! Yeah, yeah, I know you are thinking "Not that angelic little face!" Well you can best believe that what I say is true!!!

I managed to get those pictures while she was smack in the middle of terrorizing my computer! Notice how in the first and third of the recent photos that her little arm is up and escaping the pictures? That is because she was repeatedly punching the power button on my monitor and thought she was being slick and such! In the middle picture I dived between her and my keyboard. That of course brought about that little devilish grin you see.

Y'all don't believe me? Check out the video...

I am still not sure which of us won that one...

Okay, on the real. She ain't da debil ALL the time. And because she ain't, she managed to steal the heart of this old blogger. Usually by being cute and undebilish like this.

Or like this...

Happy Birthday Aniyah Princess Marie!!!
AKA Gummy Bear AKA Gumbeezy AKA Taboody AKA Bad Booty AKA Tee Tee AKA Ham Hocks AKA Chunky Butt AKA Detroit's Next Top Model AKA... (Well y'all get the idea)

Frontin' At The Pondo

2009-03-20T00:00:00.000-04:00

My son. Okay he ain't my genes so I won't be TOO embarrassed.

Let me tell you what this... this... person did.

Usually we go out to eat in public and find ourselves somewhat embarrassed. I mean this cat looks like he hasn't had food in ever. I mean messy face and hands. Ranch dressing on the cheeks, hands, sleeves, glasses... You get the drift. Bad enough to the point where my wife will say tight lipped "STOP IT! You act like you ain't never had food before! That is really pissing me off!" Yeah. Tight lipped. Like you say it when you about to fuck somebody up and don't want the whole world to know. I know y'all know it.

So we would tend to lighten the mood a bit by teasing him. "Boy, wait until you get a girlfriend! You probably gonna scare her off the first time y'all go to a restaurant!" And many more like it. He usually looked at us like he really could give a shit. Which of course didn't stop the barbarian behavior.

Jump forward in time. SOMEBODY has a girlfriend. The families agree to meet up. They are from Saginaw and are a couple hours drive away. So when a doctor appointment brings mom to the area, it sets up an opportunity for teen time spent together. And since the family is with her, an opportunity for everybody to meet. So we agree to meet them at a restaurant near their hotel. They pick Ponderosa. I guess we all liked the meatballs and the wing dings.

The day arrives and he is in a funny mood. He goes between elated and irritating... okay irritable. He especially works a nerve when he acts like he don't know the plan and gets more irritating when we don't leave when he wants to go. Completely forgetting that his GF and her fam were out shopping and moved the time back two hours.

As the time went by and he started getting even more irritating, we started to threaten to kill him. Or at least leave his ass at home. In retrospect we wished he had stayed that way because you know how teen age boys get that touchy feely silly love struck puppy thing going? Yeah, that is what we had to deal with from the time he hit the restaurant parking lot until he went to sleep.

So we finally get in and the families meet. He is of course excited. Understandably so. She ain't bad looking and is fairly well configured for a teenager. I guess there is something to be said for Internet Pimpin'! Basically everyone orders the buffet. We sit and jawjack for a few moments. Then me and The Wife get up and go to get our grub on. I guess the rest of them forgot it was a self serve thing... I come back to the table with my meat plate and my side plate (them damn salad plates were small!). Guess what the hell I see run up to the table? A salad!!! Who has it? Mr. Barbarian Man!!! I didn't think that it was unusual considering we do salads all the time. But this sumbitch was acting all funny! He was cutting the damn salad with a knife like it had a damn porterhouse in the middle of it!!! I just looked at him. His mother asked if he was hungry. He said, "Yeah, I'm straight!" Of course that was my que to ask him where his FOOD was. Then his sister and cousin started in on him. We saw he was frontin' his ass off. And we WERE gonna call him on it!!! It got so bad that even his lady love's mother called him out. "We came all the way down here to have dinner with you and all you are gonna eat is a salad?" At which point even he had to laugh. But he stayed in character. Because he still ate that damn salad with that damn knife and fork. Except when his girlfriend went to the powder room. Then he availed himself of a few wing dings. Of course he put the bones on somebody else's plate. When she got back, he was back to the knife, fork and salad.

At least until he got ratted out. Because cousin Dan said to The Wife "Hey cousin! You sure were hungry with all them chicken wings on your plate!" To which The Wife replied "Those aren't mine. D ate those!" At which point everybody busted out laughing since he got informed on by his own mother. But he started acting somewhat normal after that. Somewhat.

Nasty Muthafucka!!!

2009-03-19T00:00:00.001-04:00

I meant to do this one sooner but well... I been procrastinating. Okay, I actually been studying (see Ladylee!).

I was at my Anthropology class. It had just ended and I was on my way home. My wife called me just as I entered the men's room. So I kinda drifted to the business section. I hung back since it was a two handed job and I didn't wanna crowd the two guys there. My wife tends to stay on the phone so the other guys finished up and left. I was all alone. So I drifted over to the urinals. I picked out the one that was going to service my needs.

Sidebar: Urinal etiquette
I have to take this little sidebar to explain the unspoken mantiquette about taking a piss in a public restroom. First a picture...

This is essentially the same setup as the restroom in question. Mantiquette says that if they are all empty, pick one on the edge. Because if someone comes in while you are in mid stream, you don't want him to have to do his thing next to you. In other words leave an empty one between if possible. Usually if the ones on the end are filled, either wait until one frees up, or if you are really pressed, use the middle one. That is how it usually goes.

Returning to the story. At this point I have selected the on on the far end next to the wall. I flushed it to make sure the water was as clean as possible before I did my thing. Don't want no backsplash from other people's wastewater. I don't have the longest arms in the world so I wasn't standing too far away. As I am finishing up my call, I notice this guy walk up into the joint. Now I just knew this dude saw me and had already decided to either use a toilet or the urinal to the right of the picture, as dictated by mantiquette. Imagine my horror when he walked past the first urinal he arrived at (on the right). He stopped to inspect the middle urinal. Now mind you I am within arms reach of the one on the left. This was a breach or mantiquette!

Well... The show didn't stop there. No, no, nonono! This nasty, troll looking, dirty ass, low born, unhometrained, ratty ass muthafucka took it to another level!!! Cause dude took a sidestep to the left!!!! I know y'all already had the picture formed of what things looked like BEFORE he rolled up. So you can imagine what it looked like NOW!!! Y'all remember the Chilisauce move The Time did in during Jungle Love in Purple Rain? @ 2:36 in the video below (I won't take the clip out of the video so you can enjoy the whole thing...)

Morris Day - New Music - More Music Videos

That's right this sumbitch Cha Cha slid his ass over in front of me! I was close enough to give that muthafucka a damn reacharound!!!

I was so shocked and outdone that I couldn't even hang up the damn phone! I just walked out of the spot and told my wife about his nasty ass! I waited until I got home after that.

I still can't believe that shit!!!

What Is It?

2009-03-18T18:19:00.003-04:00

Okay so check this out. My wife is an occasional lottery player. In her case the "occasion" is when one of her family members irritates the shit out of her. Of course she oftentimes forgets to do so. So when the numbers come on those days, we hear "Dammit! I knew I should have played today! Look what came out!" What comes out is usually one of our birthdays or one of the kids' birth weights.

Today is no exception. For some reason the boy likes to lay around and be late for school. I say this because,

The car is supposed to leave the house at 7:20 daily.
I get up at 7:12 this morning (because weather and traffic is on the 2's)
I see his ass in his damn jammies.
I jump in my clothes, ret to go and see him still half dressed.
I ask, "Dog been out? Cleaned up after? What your sister doing?" the usual...
I get "no, no, she in the shower I think"
The wife gets them up @ 6:30 so they get almost an hour to SS&S.
Why everybody ain't clean, ready and maybe even fed (including the dog) by 7:15 I don't know.
I get tired of waiting of them and, as usual, I go out to the car first. @ 7:35.
They finally drag ass out to the car @ 7:40 which is the same exact time his ass is supposed to be in class.
They both conveniently walk right out the door and don't bother to lock the sumbitch.
So I ask why.
For those of you who have kids, you already know what the answer was...
For those who don't, they said "My key is in the house. I was in a hurry to get out here" Huh... Ironic isn't it? Hurry? AFTER we are VERY late?
So they both get up and go back in to get their keys.
HE comes back out and says "Mommy told me to stay home"
I ask why?
He shrugs
My phone rings. The wife from inside.
She says "he might as well stay home since he is so late. But he gonna clean his ass off today"
I um... kindly... remind her that "neither one of us will be at home today and there is no reason at all for his ass to miss school since he was the one dragging ass this morning"
She says "You know he is gonna get Saturday School for this" Saturday School being weekend detention for folk with multiple tardies. Usually his sister's fault...
I say "Yep. But if he gets tired of doing it then he will get up and make sure his sister is moving her ass along so he can get there on time."
She agrees and sends his evil late ass back out to the car.

I will stop the bullets now. They were probably irritating by now. Thanks Dr. Fitzgibbons! I am now bullet pointing like crazy! (My Business Presentations class)

Anyway, fast forward to later in the day after she got her hair done. Now she feeling pretty again and all. We stop at the store to grab a few items. She walks up to the lottery counter because she remembers something that she wanted to play. Guess what I hear. Yep, you guessed it... "Dammit! Look what came out! I just can't believe that!" I look at her with the Spock Brow at half mast. She goes on and says, "Who was irritating the shit out of me this morning?" I go, "Really?" She goes, "Yep, 702 straight!" I laugh and say to her "He irritated you and then dropped straight in the very next drawing? Too bad you don't play the midday!" She then shook her head and said "Momma keeps telling me to do midday. Every time y'all get on my nerves it falls in the midday."

We laugh about it and I let her get on to her playing while I busy myself with the sales paper, some well filled jeans and the lottery pamphlet. And whilst in the pamphlet, I discover the payouts that would have happened had she played the bets she just made on that midday.

Turns out that the Michigan Lottery pays $500 for a $1 straight bet on a three digit number. They play $166 on a $1 box bet.

I don't think y'all heard me.

She WOULD have won $666 this afternoon had she played!!!

All this long ass story just to say what I was originally gonna tell you all in this post:

THE LOTTERY IS THE DEBIL!!!!!

Update!!! 7:30 p.m. Guess the hell what?!?!? 207 came out in the damn evening!!! And she didn't play it!!! You know what she said right???

Special Guest Blogger Alert!!!!!

2009-03-10T00:00:00.010-04:00

Special Guest Blogger Alert!!!

Please do not be alarmed, but Wifey has taken over Second-Sixty Eight's (a.k.a. A Dyssturbed Mined) domain just for today!!!

First let me say hello to all of the wonderful Blog Haremites and any other Blog friends.

But!

Today is the birthday of two very "special" people in my life. And if you are a Haremite or just a regular who stops by on occasion to read some of his stories, then you know our Second-Sixty Eight is something "special" right?

So I thought I would do a really "special" but cute tribute to both of them. I’m going to tell you one of my favorite stories about each of them.

Happy Birthday Honey Bun aka Sweet Lou!!!

Horoscope: Pisces (the fish) Feb.20- Mar. 20
Imaginative, creative, wise, kind and caring, easy-going, romantic, even-tempered, multi-talented, compassionate and *ultra-popular*.

My Favorite Story:

Now Second-Sixty Eight likes to fire his weapon (butt noises) that’s what I call it at night when he has had anything dairy. So this particular night after work, I didn’t feel like cooking dinner and my family decided that they wanted some sliders for dinner. I’m asking them are they sure, so I said okay because White Castles don’t mess with my stomach like it do them. So I order a 30 crave case w/cheese for the kids, three double cheeseburger w/orange drink for me and Second-Sixty Eight orders two double cheeseburger, fish w/cheese and chicken w/cheese. Anyway, that night I was slightly surprised cause no one complained about having bubbles in their stomachs . After a while everybody went to bed. Some hours went by with nobody getting up to go to the bathroom.

(Sidetrack) Now I have this thing where I really can’t stand for him to belch next to me but I’m okay with him firing his weapon. I know that’s dyssturbing on its own.(hahaha)

Now back to the story. So now his weapon is just going off all night long and I’m just laughing when it goes off. So now the next time his weapon went off and boy did it go off. The next thing I heard him sit up in bed and say "What the F@@@!!!!" and he just cussing, fussing and telling me how foul that sh@@ smelled and next time kick me in my a@@ and tell me to take my foul smelling butt to the bathroom. Now I’m just laughing and laughing and he looks at me and said its not funny. But I told him that it is funny to me because you were more offended by your butt going off than me. Then he gets back in bed, rolls over and looks at me and tells me that I have a DYSSTURBED MINED. But we all know the truth don’t we!!!

Happy Birthday Pooh Bear aka My Chocolate Child!!!

Horoscope: Pisces (the fish) Feb.20- Mar. 20
Creative , imaginative, multi-talented, trusting, kind and caring, easy-going, friendly, even-tempered, intuitive and helpful.

My Favorite Stories:

Tache’ has always been my "special" child. Many times someone would tell me that "your baby is climbing out her stroller" at four and five months. She has always done everything early like walking by 6 months, getting her back teeth first at 5 ½ month and potty trained by 7 months.

My favorite story about Tache’ would be the Barney story. So Tache’ and her brother loved everything Barney. We spent much money on Barney stuff like Barney stuffed animals, Barney bedding, Barney underwear, Barney cups, Barney theme birthday’s……. that we were thinking of starting a parents only club called the I Hate That Big Purple Song Stealing Dinosaur Club. But on this day Tache’ and her brother, especially Tache, kept singing that one song. Yes, you know that song if you have children or just have nieces or nephew back in the early 90’s. You know the song has soon has you heard it:

I love you
You love me
We're a happy family
With a great big hug
And kiss from me to you
Won’t you say you love me too.

Okay, let me not get that song stuck in my head. Anyway, like I said she kept singing the song all day and now it was time for Second-Sixty Eight to get in from work. And I always ask him "How was your day honey" and he would tell me how his day went. And before he could ask me how my day went, in comes Tache’ singing this song "I love you, You love me" and Second-Sixty Eight jumps in and says

With a knick-knack paddywhack,
give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home.

And Tache’ stops and looks at Second-Sixty Eight like he had just committed a serious crime. So Second-Sixty Eight starts to explain that Barney had stole the lyrics from "This Old Man" nursery rhyme. Now Tache’ did not want to believe the story that Second-Sixty Eight was telling her was the truth. So then Tache’ breaks in and tells Second-Sixty Eight in the middle of his explanation she said "But Barney says to share" and walks away singing

I love you
You love me
With a knick-knack paddywhack
Give a dog a bone
Won’t you say you love me too.

All we could do was laugh so hard that tears were coming out of our eyes.

Make Today……About you. For you. Only you.

Happy Birthday Second-Sixty Eight & Tyweezy!!!

That Damn Bush Family!!!

2009-02-23T17:10:00.001-05:00

Geronimo’s Heirs Sue Secret Yale Society Over His Skull See! Them damn Bush men have been at it for years!!!

I Would Like To Speak To Management Please!

2009-02-14T13:26:00.003-05:00

Because this place is getting hella dusty!!!

Yep.

I know.

Half a month? Even I think it is ridiculous!!!

But because of the move and semester starting at the same time, I am STILL a little disorganized and slightly behind.

And before you say it, YES! I been studying!!! Just ain't caught up yet. And since I am getting organized as I fly into mid-terms, I may be a little absent still (or not... I never know...) But my last midterm is on my birthday. How the hell am I supposed to take my personal holiday off when she does that shit? BUT spring break for me starts pretty much close of business on the day after. SOOOOOOOOOO. I MIGHT be in Atlanta that week. We shall see if that comes together or not. If it does, then be prepared for A Dyssturbed ATL coming in Mid March!!!

Now, I better go and get dressed before this Valentines Day Steak don't happen! And after that... Study...

Lata!!!

Plans?

2009-01-28T20:06:00.003-05:00

You know sometimes how you make plans to do things and it don't workout? Well I had some plans to surprise all of you.

See I was gonna kinda defect to the Wordpress way of life. But I couldn't make my page look as cool with them layouts of theirs. And they disabled much of the good stuff I like to add to my page. They suck for that.

Then I was gonna make the jump to Wordpress by self publishing. That way I would have been able to use the good features of Wordpress and have all of the cool features that Blogger has. But alas, the trial attempt made my head hurt slightly. And I don't really have the chips to purchase the web hosting and domain name. So I ain't defected yet.

But don't be surprised if you have to find me at Dyssturbed.net or something like that. I will of course keep you all posted on that...

Announcement!!!!

2009-01-26T13:08:00.003-05:00

A Dyssturbed Mined is coming to you from a new location!!!!

I can now be reached at:

##### *************** St.
**** ****** MI, #####
(###) ###-####

Oh dang! That damn paranoid ass Usama done blocked stuff out. For those of you who have the old number, it may still be on, but I won't be there!

I don't mind telling y'all, I been getting my ass kicked by progress the last couple of weeks. But the furniture moving is over. Mostly... Just gotta get the internet up and I can start blogging from home again. Might even have time to do so now. Except Mondays. I got a 9:30 - 9:30 schedule with a five hour gap in the middle. Needless to say, Monday posts will be rare unless I am bored and not doing homework midday like now.

I be tired though. I guess I will feel fresh next week. That is when the real work is going to start.

Guess I will go and visit now. See y'all in the comments!

Happy Birthday Wifey!!!

2009-01-18T13:06:00.002-05:00

Prince - Adore Live LA 02 -

Years ago today, a gift was delivered to this world for me. So here are a couple of her favorites on her day.

Happy Birthday Lele!!!!!

Just Some Stuff

2009-01-15T00:00:00.000-05:00

It is amazing how the smallest thing brings you unmatched amounts of momentary joy. I say this because my new mouse didn't scroll in some of my apps. I just figured out that the program that loads the mouse properties was the culprit. So when I disabled the program, I found that I could use the scroll in Firefox, Thunderbird and Flock! Don't get me wrong, Chrome is a nice browser, but it ain't no Firefox. Oh joy!!! Lemme go and make it the default again!

The semester has started. I might just consider this fun. One class is at the extension center. Not as far from the new crib as the main campus. Nonetheless, I was wishing I HAD went and begged to get in that web class. That had to be the WORST damn traffic I been in outside of a snow storm in a long time. And it is like that on the reg! Definitely gonna have to take another way.

We actually have a new lease and keys and services connected or in process. Just gotta get stuff moved now.

Did y'all know that folk give shit away on Craigslist for free? I said Fo' FREE!!! My wife was out there looking for a treadmill and found the free section. There was a mofo out there who was giving away a 50" big screen TV. If I hadn't already agreed to get one from somebody else (along with a living room full of furniture and a couple of exercise machines for cheap) I might have called!

More later or something...

Wordless Wednesday

2009-01-14T21:52:00.002-05:00

Yeah, I Know I Been Gone. But...

2009-01-11T12:56:00.004-05:00

This is a quick update for all of y'all who have been missing me whilst life has been happening to me.

I have registered for all of my classes at this point for the Winter 2009 semester.

Three of them are on the main campus near my old address.
Two of them are at the extension center near my new address.
I am trying to get them all on campus so I can avoid Wedenesday evening and Saturday morning classes.
This would give me a 9-9 on Monday and a 1-8 on Wednesday schedule., should I be successful.
If not then fuck it. One evening and a Saturday won't kill me. Especially if it means NOT taking Spring or Summer classes.
Keep ya fingers crossed. May 5 is the anticipated completion date for this campaign.

For those of you who haven't been paying close attention thus far, I HAVE A NEW ADDRESS!!!

My wife managed finagle me into a ranch style house. Oh well, no upstairs, I guess I will live.
It isn't the perfect solution that we were looking for which would have allowed the kids to walk to and from school.
It isn't as cheap as we would have liked.
It is a place where they don't have to be moved to other schools. Unless they want to do so.
It is a place where my family can recongregate. Including the dog...
It is a place where I will be able to call it home. Ain't done that in years.
It is a place where folk who are less than respectful of your stuff and space and feelings are not really welcome. Even if they are family.

Seems that mom is none the worse for wear being cared for by... not me.

She has been relocated temporarily to a location where there is heat and electricity and cable.
Although the current crew could be a little more attentive, she ain't being ignored.
We will likely have space for her should she get tired of her current caretakers. Yeah!

The wife is doing pretty good.

She has run the house search. Which is why I didn't argue much about the house type.
She is definitely happy because we got approved for the lease. She get's her family back whole and gets rid of the unnecessary mouth music from other parties.
Taking the layoff in stride right now. Get a little unemployment. Get some stuff together. Take a breath. Start the job search if the layoff lasts more than a month or two. Or if a bigger paycheck pops up on the horizon.
She is walking unassisted. No cane. No boot. No worries. But a little bit of a limp.
She been stressing like crazy and today she is smiling and cheering and rooting for the Eagles to beat the Giants right at this moment. Oh what a relief it is!!!

Health is getting better. Blood pressure is coming down. Sugar is not bad.
My water pill has been cut down so I am not peeing on the hour anymore.
I took my both of my loans. This allowed us to get the money for moving and such without having to depend on family. You don't know how much relief I am feeling about having to pay back some money! Especially since HER family always has to have a negative ass opinion when they give money.
I get to sleep at night in a bed with my wife again. In a room alone! Heh heh hehhhh!
I finally have the funds to finish getting this tooth fixed from the root canal. It got infected again and I am on antibiotics again. But I do want to eat on both sides of my mouth sometime soon again!
Most important I am feeling much more at peace than I have in a long time. If I don't watch out, I may start feeling happy.

Oh yeah, I might even finish the rest of the dream story too.

A Dyssturbed Dream, Pt. 2

2009-01-02T00:00:00.000-05:00

To recap:
A bicycle helmet, tighty whities and a dog.
It's all I got. I don't know why.
Okay and a raging boner because of the hooker.

Now you are up to speed.

So on we go.
I think the dog is a little amused at my "condition"
I guess it was that look that dogs give you where they look at stuff while leaning their heads to one side.
I bet he would have jokes if he could talk.
Glad his ass can't talk.
The next four blocks go by without incident.
If you could consider walking around in ya draws after three in the morning outdoors "without incident"
I figured it was after three in the morning because the hardcore hookers don't look that good.
So the strip clubs have to be closed and the dancer/hookers need a few minutes to get on station.
I was reflecting on how glad I was that the dog knew where we were going.
Right then I heard some guffawing off to the side.
You know the kind that comes out of SERIOUSLY immature males over 18.
I didn't remember what kinda night I was having, but I knew it wasn't good enough to deal with that shit.
So I kept walking.
Of course SOME folk can't leave well enough alone.
I tried to ignore them even longer until I noticed the dog look back and let out a low growl.
I don't know why these dumb muthafuckas were following us.
Maybe it was the malt liquor.
I know they didn't think they were gonna rob me.
That would have just been stupid.
What did they think they were gonna get?
The helmet or the underwear with somebody else's dick print in them?
I guess they figured the dog was a punk too because they ran up to do a three sided surround.
"Where you going?" said the first dumb ass.
"Home. Why?" I mean really?
"You were dressed so funny we had to come see what's up." why dumbass number to gotta say that?
"Ain't shit up. I am damn near naked at oh dark thirty and I am walking. Obviously my day ain't so good." I thought that was kinda obvious though.
"Hold up man. We wanna holla at ya!" Damn! dumbass 1 are you still here?
"No thanks" What? Are these dudes gay?
"The man said quit walking!" Whoa! Dumbass 3 speaketh!
He must be the king dumbass because he put his hand on me.
Wasn't a smart thing to do.
Cause I grabbed his wrist and twisted his hand toward the sky. And tried to punch his elbow through the moon.
His scream was real satisfying. I guess dislocations are real painful.
It stood him up real nice too. so I could do the same thing to his knee.
Now somebody was having a worse day than me.
You would think that seeing ya boy took out that easy would make you want to flee.
Not these mutts.
I guess dumbass 1 had some martial arts training and figured himself to be the second coming of Bruce Lee.
At least that is what it looked like from the stupid Bruce Lee scream and the little Bruce Lee dance he suddenly was doing.
If I wasn't so pissed, I probably would have laughed in his face.
He tried a quick punch kick combo.
Hmm... Karate. Earned one, maybe two belts. Wonder if he learned DEFENSE?
Six seconds later I had my answer.
He can't defend worth shit.
At least not judging from his broken nose and crushed windpipe.
Right then I hear another scream.
You know the kind that makes your blood run cold?
Turns out that the remaining dumbass found out that the dog was no punk indeed.
I see that there are now THREE people having a worse day than me.
Nothing like a pit bull gnawing on ya gonads to make a day go south.
Then the dog shakes him furiously.
Showoff.
"Hey dog! Let him go! I don't want you to catch anything! A dog with an STD CAN'T be a pretty thing!"
Right then I resolved to change my attitude about dad.
He used to call it martial arts training.
I called it creative asswhooping.
I guess we were both right.
I must call him and thank him.
Didn't know I had it in me.
After about another block I look at the dog and ask
"So Mr. Crotch Chewer. Are we close to home yet?"
You know I could have sworn that mutt just rolled his eyes at me!

Still not home yet. part 3 someday...

An Open Letter to 2008

2009-01-01T12:18:00.003-05:00

Dear 2008,

From the folk in my household.

GOODBYE YOU SAD FUCKER!!!

Signed,

A group of folk who are tired of walking around with your foot up our asses!!!

p.s. 2009, be warned!

A Dyssturbed Dream, Pt. 1

2008-12-30T04:00:00.000-05:00

A bicycle helmet, tighty whities and a dog.
It's all I got. I don't know why.
Nor do I know why I am laying under this marquee.
Or why I am literally laying in the gutter.
And it is a wet gutter.
Must have been one interesting night up until now.
I can't remember why though.
I get up and try to get my bearings.
I can't.
I try to figure out where I am.
I don't.
I guess where home is and start walking.
I hear the dog woof softly.
I stop and turn.
He takes a couple of steps in the OPPOSITE direction and stops.
I follow.
At least one of us knows where the hell we are going.

At the corner of the next block, I see a sight.
I see the most beautiful caramel thighs.
And is that a thong she is wearing?
I walk, and stare.
I stare and walk.
I know I must have been staring hard.
Because I didn't realize I had a "reaction" to those thighs.
AND I was forcibly snapped back to reality.
By a playful and feminine voice saying "Is all that for me?"
I am stopped dead in my tracks.
I finally manage to return from fantasy land and look up.
And notice her looking at the same approximate latitude that I was.
Then she looks up too.
Damn! Eye contact! Now I gotta say something back!
"Um... Hey!" is all my brain can manage.
"Can't say I have seen that particular outfit outdoors before." she quipped.
I look down and notice there is a white cone of fabric between my eyes and where my shoes should be.
"You pitch a nice tent! I will just keep wondering about the helmet."
Great! I run across the one hooker with a smart ass mouth!
"Well you keep wondering about the helmet. I am still trying to figure out which of us is wearing the most fabric" I say as I give her a good looking over.
She chuckles lightly and says "Touche'! But you still didn't answer my question."
"Question?" I ask.
"Yeah, I asked if all that was for me" she said while checking my cone.
I completely forgot about that question.
Me being me, I had to ask "Is it free?"
She gives me one of those appraising looks as if she is considering it.
"Not tonight" was her decision of course.
"Just as well, my money is in my wallet in my pants. Wherever the hell THEY are..."
Might not have been much of a comeback, but I didn't know where any of that shit was.
"Well, maybe next time when you have pants with a wallet in them with money in it"
No she didn't!
"Or I can catch you on stage. At the strip club or at the Improv"
Hey! I had to say something! How the hell did I manage to find Jokey Smurf Hooker anyway?
"Ha Ha Mr. Tent Man. And I'm supposed to be the funny one? You have a good night because meeting you in that outfit sure made mine!"
"Well you have a good night too. You almost made my night too! Almost..."
You know as I walked away, I could have sworn that the dog was looking at me funny and shaking his damn head at me!

Part 2 to come...maybe...

To Mah Boo

2008-12-20T17:12:00.004-05:00

I have heard this song on the radio in the background the last couple of weeks. It seemed like a pretty cool song. I finally stopped to listen to it. I like this one. So much so I am dedicating this one to my Boobie! I might even buy some Usher now... This by no means says in any way that I am not still old school! I know you were thinking it Bootydo!

Without further ado. Usher singing Here I Stand.

p.s. To any of the Haremites and other lady visitors who are feeling underloved today, this is to you too.

The Mickey Frickin' Report.

2008-12-15T11:44:00.003-05:00

Here is the situation so far:

I been a little absent. You aren't allowed to take me to task for it either. Get over it.
I have been thinking about all of you. Just ain't been able to visit much. Get over that too.
Good news:

The fall mission has been accomplished (to this point) with a high amount of success. I have one examination to go and I don't see that one being a problem since the questions for this one will probably be drawn from the previous three. Term GPA prediction 3.6 - 4.0.
My family may soon be reintegrated into one single unit. Currently the five members are dispersed among two locations.
The wife acquired herself some transportation.
Crip Mommie's casts are a thing of the past. She is in physical therapy and almost done using her support boot.

Bad news:

My MIL decided not to renew her lease for her current apartment. She announced this to The Wife around Thanksgiving. The lease is up at the end of the year. So that means housing is needed rather fast. Hence the reason for the reintegration of the household.
The Wife's recently acquired car is not as wonderful as it seemed. Needs work!
Mom has been dependent on my sister for her day to day care since I went to take care of Wifey. She is not the happiest about that. But she understands that it is necessary for our futures.
We got turned down for an apartment that we really, really, really, really, really wanted over an old damn bill. That was some bullshit! But maybe the alternate solutions may be better since they could include the dog too!
Can you say Root Canal? I sure the hell can! Got tortured in that damn chair for a whole work shift! In at 9:00, out at 3:00! Thank god for Motrin, Tylenol (with codiene), and Keflex!!!
Because of the uncertainty with the whole auto industry and that farce that is Congress, the wife has been given a termination date for her position. It's even colder in the D than I realized...
Water pills. Need I say more?
I just got fucked royally by my advisor! My plan of work is FINALLY FUCKING FINISHED!!!! Of course there seem to be three ADDITIONAL classes that I need to take. Why did I get fucked royally do you ask? Well...

I asked for it in August.
Had I known about the three other classes, I would have taken 12 credits instead of the 9 that I took. Especially since the nine that I took were the only ones I COULD take because the rest were offered Winter 2009 term.
Would not have lost out on 25% of my financial aid last term.
The news would not have been such a shock early on.
Finishing this term would have put me half way done with what is left instead of one third the way done with the remainder.
I absoultely did not intend on taking FUCKING SPRING/SUMMER CLASSES!!!! Never did before! Why the hell start now.
Not sure if my gubment handout covers a third term.
I need to be able to relocate sooner than later since the job market in Michigan is on life support.
Did I mention ANOTHER FUCKING TERM?
And the capper to ALL of that is this... Registration for the next term started about six weeks ago. Wanna guess what the status is on all these damn classes I need to take right about now?
IF I manage to take all that I can THIS semester, it would mean day classes, evening classes AND classes at a different campus! Man I swear!!!

I may get convicted of committing murder on my advisor.

Aside from all that, things are going. Some days are better than others. The semester is winding down and I will have to get into moving mode very quickly. Ain't promising presence. But I will have a little more time to devote to all of you. If I ain't writing, I will at least be reading.

In case of another absence. Happy Holidays early in case I don't get back until later. The situation is still fluid and dynamic so I will be back this way whenever.

And don't tell Usama you saw me!
- TSSE

(somehow I think I left something out...)

Words From The Desert Man

2008-12-09T15:13:00.003-05:00

What da fuck?

Da hell is going on up in here?

Look all unused and abused.

Where everybody at?

And what is that smell?

Smell like old cheese farts or something. with... i dunno... onions?

Ah! White Castle boxes!!! Which one of these rotten assed sumbitches farted before locking the door up in here!

Mail all piled up. Judging by the noms de blog, everybody been by. Some of these notes ain't so nice...

Looka here, Diva (know she 'bout fit to be tied), Ms. B. (done went on vacation and come back and still nothing), I will be all day going through this.

I would apologize for the rest of these fools but there is just no apology big enough.

I don't know what is up with these characters, ever since The Dark One talked Brainz into finishing school, things have been on a slide. Biker Dude done rode off to "bike ridin' country", wherever the hell that is. Hoeman been rather happy spoonin' booty lately so he ain't gonna be worth jack shit, or john shit either.

I bet it was that damn Sixty-Eight that left these damn White Castle boxes and the pungent ass White Castle fart that they tend to generate. Wonder how he sealed that shit in though? And why the spiders didn't die? Look at all them damn cobwebs!

Well, fuck that! I ain't cleaning up this joint!!! And I ain't blogging in this shithole!!! Guess I am gonna have to go find these assholes and bitchslap one or three into this damn blogging chair so y'all won't feel left out and such. And to clean up around here. I hear there is some news too.

Lemme get to gettin'! I got some dudes to find!

Later!

-Usama Bin Louie

Tagged!: 7 Random Facts And Other Madness

2008-11-27T08:03:00.005-05:00

1. Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.

2. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.

3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.

4. Let each person know that they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Well thanks Aretha! I blame you for this!

I have separate drinking vessels for every type of beverage I consume! - Yeah. That's right! I got a coffee mug, a tea mug, a cold beverage mug, a giant water jug and bottles and even drinking glasses for the spirits and wine. Okay, we will just get this outta the way early, I am anal! BUT most of my drinkware is plastic and insulated. You all know how plastic holds smells. I can't stand drinking a cola and smelling coffee in it! Or coffee and Plantation Mint smells whilst sipping on a nice lager! Hmm... Come to think about it am I the strange one?
I can't stand grease on my hands. - Never liked it. Never will. The thing with the grease is because it be all sticky and slippery at the same time. Hence the reason you will never smell Afro Sheen up in my do. Can't stand this so much that I will immediately stop whatever process I am in and go wash my hands.
I hate persistent smells on my hands. - This one is simply because I sleep with my hands near my face. Usually on one or both. And my nose is very sensitive most of the year (when it ain't clogged from the crazy weather changes in Michigan). So having things that are not pleasant smelling on my hands will keep me from sleeping! Okay it bothers me if I am awake too!
I am a pack rat who can find things in the clutter. - My own personal spaces I tend to keep things that may be useful in the future. Other folks garbage is my treasure, to an extent. People are constantly amazed that I can remember where stuff is amongst the "garbage dump" (their term) of my stuff. Of course I done saved folks asses numerous times with a well timed piece of "junk" being used to niggarig their broke ass shit! Now on the finding things, this next item will explain...
I like order. - "Everything has a place and everything in it's place. If it doesn't have a place in my house it has no real function and hence has no need to exist in my house." This I have told to my kids ad infinitum. You would think those damn slobs would have learned that by now. The Wife takes that approach and goes overboard. For her, if it needs cleaning up then it needs circular filing! But back to me, I can find the smallest damn thing where folk only see disorder because I mentally catalog everything that I have. I can usually remember the last place I saw something. Of course that gets knocked off kilter when my folk "clean up". I put the clean up in quotes because their idea of cleaning up is taking the junk you moved from the area in question and putting it in a closet in a garbage bag.
Leave my shit alone! - This is definitely me. I have found that folk don't treat your things with nearly as much reverence and respect as you. But then again they didn't pay for it either and usually look at you like you are the one that fucked up when they break your shit. So I don't like folk messing around in my stuff. For instance, I collect Hot Wheels and mini motorcycles. Sometimes I put them out on display. Then folk come by and want to play with my shit. How dare these neanderthals want to play with my toys like they are...TOYS or something!!! I don't give a damn if you are three and like cars! Keep yo' little grubby hands off my shit! People sure aren't raising kids to the same standards like they used to! Humorous rant aside, it really does bug me because I have had a whole Hot Wheels collection DESTROYED like that. And when you are eight and had to BEG to get each and every one and come home from vacation and find your collection of 25 hard fought and won wonders broken, bent and missing, it does something to you! To this day, I will go and buy you one if you really want to play with one that bad! Seriously. And I find that grown folk ain't really no better with ya shit so this ain't just about Hot Wheels. That was just a good example...
I got more friends in Blogworld than Bushworld - What can I say? I like you guys a lot. I just hope y'all ain't crazier than I think ya are! Especially since I would like to meet SOME of you! Yeah, y'all chew on that last one. I will leave you to figure out who is in and who isn't. Fight it out amongst yaselves. To the winners go the spoils of me!

What? Why y'all looking at me all funny and shit? You KNEW I had to fuck with SOMEBODY on this damn post! If you didn't then you obviously didn't read the sign over the door when ya came in! Don't know what party you think THIS is. You know how I do it! I keeps it on tha madness! Shoo, ya betta axe somebody!

For those who might be wondering about their status per #7, I can say this. I ain't saying no names, but those who got a big ole ass, ya probably in. If ya knockas is bangin', ya probably in (that includes danglers too (maybe)). If you declared your undying love for me, or at least expressed your desire not to share me with others, ya probably in. If ya mind is as hot as ya body, ya probably in. If 310 means anything to you, you probably in. If you think I sound good on the phone or the lazy blog, you more than likely are in. If you got good cookies (marinate on that at ya leisure), you likely are in. If ya accent makes ya voice even sexier, by gosh give ya self an extra point or two. Hell if ya voice is sexy as hell, you can call me anytime and count yaself amongst the likely. IF ya talk a good sex game, you might be better off than most. If you are a homie and you have been known to turn up a tankard and you buying the first round, you definitely in! Hell if you are buying the first round then you in anyway!
And last but not least, if I told you I liked you more than ice cream and:

You are a dude: Consider this the end of our relationship because I don't do that gay shit...
You are a chick: Expect The Wife to come and bring that beat down because she may discover that you are the one I was cheating with!

If I missed any of you with these inside jokes, charge that to the Oldtimers and not the heart. Unless of course you really ARE out...

Oh, BTW. This is a voluntary tag because I stupidly promised immunity to several persons the last two times. AND I think I was the only one to get away with this the last time this particular bug was going around so y'all may have exhausted your weirdness already. Not likely, but maybe...

Randomosity

2008-11-19T21:50:00.002-05:00

From the never say never files:
The Wife is the proud owner of a new used Cadillac! She of course never liked Cadillacs. Figure the irony!

Gas prices have come down. The gas fueled price increases on food haven't. Go figure...

It's coming down to crunch time. I doubt that I will be around any more often than I have been lately. But I won't be gone any more often that I know of. So this ain't a blog break or fake retirement or anything. Just an update.

As it stands, this semester is going along rather swimmingly. Unless I seriously drop the ball, I should come out of this semester with at worst an A and two B's. But three A's is more likely. I shall keep you posted.

I swear if my advisor does not make my damn plan of work a priority, I am gonna move into her damn office! I started this process a couple of years back. She kept putting me off by telling me I needed to get my records updated. I finally did that last summer since it was on my mind to drop in to Morehouse to get that transcript. Never stopped at the college but I got it done online. And the local CC the January before that. So by the time I got to her in August, she was surprised to find the records that she had just requested I get (again) were already on file. So she told me that she needed to get past Registration to get it done. That was to take about two weeks after Labor Day. She got about six extra weeks. I sent an e-mail early last week. Followed up with a phone call at the end of the week. Still not done. She hadn't gotten to the e-mail by the phone call. She assured me that it would be done by Monday (just passed). It wasn't. I just dropped in all unannounced today (since I happened to be there) to see how things were going. Okay, it was a physical reminder that I was stoking the fire under her. The office worker steered off telling me that walk=in counseling was on Tuesday when I mentioned that I needed a status on my Plan Of Work which she has been "working" om all semester. It is supposed to be done before week end. I guess the database will be repaired by then. I get the feeling that I will be there on walk-in counseling to blow cognac breath on her fire. I can't finish registering until she gets on her job and gets my approvals and makes sure all the t's and i's are crossed and dotted. Registration started two weeks ago... Y'all feel me?

Amazement!

2008-11-14T01:32:00.002-05:00

I just bought gas at $1.89!!!!!!! Then got mad that I saw it for $1.87 two blocks away.

Pass it on!!!

Thursday Thirteen: The Haremite Nickname Edition

2008-11-13T01:00:00.003-05:00

The originators of T13 and rules of participation can be found HERE

Bootydo - Probably one of my favorite nicknames. This one belongs to Thoughts of a Southern Gal. She gave herself this one because of a party recently. She got so full that her belly was poking the front of her dress out a bit. It prompted her to say "(I had to just finished eating b/c I have a bootydo (stomach sticks out more than your booty do)." Well the stomach was sticking out but not quite enough to make that statement true. Nonetheless, she gets the name anyway.

Jazzy Diva - (this is the real one...) ~~The Blog Wife~~ ~~- AKA Blog Nag~~ ~~Blog Nag - AKA the Blog Wife~~, (lemme quit playin' before her pouty lip pokes my eye out...)AKA THE Diva, AKA H. R. Paperstacks, AKA... Okay, you get the idea. Most of you probably have guessed this one belongs to none other than Opinionated Diva. To some of you, I am positive I don't have to explain this one. Nonetheless she earns this one and many others because she is the stuff. Nothing like somebody having ya e-back! Other edit: Cutesy names: Sasha Blogdanovich, Tubecandy, The Mad Blur, Ms. Photoshop. I am taking suggestions! Okay, Okay! JW Paperstacks!!! I wasn't gonna use that one because I thought it may tell too much...

Queen Of My Extra Half Yard Of Fabric - AKA Queen of a Black Man's Fantasies, AKA You Shole Look Good In That _______! (and her fine ass sister too!). She got this one because of her horrible fabric estimation skills. Okay, kidding. She got it because she has such a bodacious backside that the lady in the fabric store told her that she would DEFINITELY need more fabric to make the dress she envisioned. The story was far more entertaining when she told it but that blog is no more, so I can't quote it...

Xena: Warrior Wife - AKA Misswhoopabitchorthree, AKA Lurkus Maximus, AKA She Who Shall Not Be Named (because she don't want one), AKA... This one belongs to The Wife of course. If y'all ain't read the story on how she got that one, then bump into her vehicle. Or mess with her yella man! Or better yet, ask or research a bit and save the ass whoopin'!

Ghetto Kuntree - This one belongs to Creamy, Dreamy and Ghetto Mary. Y'all probably know her as The Dreamy One. I still like The Creamy One, but I digress. She is a feisty little something though. So I can see the Ghetto Mary part. But she sounds SOOOOOooooo southern, I couldn't resist. And no my dear, you are NOT annoying, except when you declare that you are annoying, which bugs me because you aren't... Strange how that works.

Jelly Bean - AKA The One Of Many Names, AKA Who Are You This Week? AKA Alla Y'all, AKA Sybill. The main face of this beauty is (currently) Jaila. But there are a few others who tag along when she goes for a shower or something. How she got this name is a long and convoluted story. So you will just have to keep guessing.

Nikki Make-A-Horny - AKA Nikki Indigo or just Nikki. She was the first one to make my monitor catch fire. And she had me from that moment. BTW that ain't the number one reason I like her though. But the other reasons don't make for good nicknames.

Doctor Ladybud - Yes, the one and only Ladylee - The Original Oldgirl got a name from me too. Who knew you could assimilate all that edumacation in a bud induced state? Now If I can only persuade her to use all that edumacation for my evil purposes (without threatening to use it ON me...), then I will be good! I think she got a PhD in knitting too. Had to have the way she drops them exploding knitting needles all over the place...

The Absent - Some of you probably know her as The Addict. But she been quite absent of late. Yeah, I know I got a lot of damn nerve saying so, but I am here NOW! But every time I think of her I reflect back to the Old Blog Ball And Chain (Oooo! Another one for her...) and her troubles getting me to post.

Pocahunnie - Or Pocahontaz to the rest of you. This one kinda evolved... well... because she is! She is also the one person on this list who ain't The Wife who WILL be getting some on my birthday! Since she chose to get married on that day!

Hot Minnie - AKA Nawf Cackylacky! Or Minerva Exertion. Her blog name sounds more like the nick name doesn't it? Got two words for ya sweetie! Good and Riddance!!!!!!!

The Mad Dangler - Yes Tom_Gurl, this one is for you! Why? Well, you said it yourself! See: "I did make the effort…wore skinny jeans, shoes…a nice top with the ‘twins dangling, like Sanaa Lathan’s character in Brown Sugar’ LMAO!" I still ain't got no damn picture though... Hint hint

Damn You Changed It Again?!? - Yes, the one, the only Ms. Behaving. She got that name because of the frequency in which we all do a double take and leave and come back to her page. Because the damn layout changes with her outfit I think... Something...

Are You On Facebook?

2008-11-08T11:41:00.004-05:00

Since I been strong armed by somebody, who I won't mention out loud, to friend up on Facebook, (Blog Wife (Oops, guess I mentioned her anyway...)) I am taking requests all day! If you know the name you can find me on your own. If you don't then you need to get at me if you wanna be down with the Madness! Comment section and e-mail work just fine!

I am [encrypted transmission] and I paid for and approved this message!

Thursday Thir... Wha? It's Friday? Oh... Nehmind...

2008-11-07T13:05:00.002-05:00

So I WAS gonna do this T13. But yesterday was actually a Thursday 17!!! The boy is now one more tick closer to thinking he is a man. And yesterday I spent running around getting the cake and his new PSP and what not. So I was a little busy, then I got full, then I got cake, then I got sleep.

Would it help if I said "I love you bunches"? Hey, at least you work bloggers can read this instead of getting a lazy blog. Which I might do anyway... Nah!

Friday means rescheduled Computer Science exam. Since there was a bomb threat last week at the VERY same building...

YES!!!!!

2008-11-05T00:14:00.003-05:00

Yes!!! Another win. Once again my vote has netted the desired result. Another win. I am sure folk will blog into infinity about this election and it's historic nature. So I won't bore you.

I ain't saying it was a win for women. Sarah Palin provided that.

I ain't saying it was a win for black folk (or biracial folk or cannibalasians (or whatever Tiger Woods calls himself.)). Barack Obama did that.

This one is a win FOR ME!!!

Why you ask? Damn good question!

Because I have never prospered under a Republican administration. My own personal economy usually goes into a severe recession if not a depression. Remember I have only seen ONE Democratic administration as an adult. And boy did I prosper! And things just happen to be looking up even before the results of the election were announced. Y'ALL FEEL ME?

So I win! I hope to continuing that win for at least the next four years!

Peace!!!

On the black hand side...

Another Turning Point

2008-11-03T18:11:00.002-05:00

I think i may be hitting another one of those places where the dissatisfaction generates motion.

Right now I am getting near the end of my "vacation". Tomorrow is my wife's second follow-up visit to the surgeon. She may be cleared back to work any day now. Which means I won't need to be here any longer.

The thing is that I am starting to not really feel ANY desire to return to where I was. Things are just not really working out for me. I kinda get that molasses feeling. That barrel crab feeling. That stuck in shit feeling. But I am tired of being poor. Tired of being co-dependent on someone who is dependent on me. But we can't do anything but tread water and hold on to each other. I can't do that anymore.

And on the other side of the coin, The Wife is suddenly faced with the prospect of finding a place to live. Her mom is not renewing her lease. She is moving with the other daughter. She let this be known a couple of weeks ago. During disability check time.

I see that as a way out to a certain extent. I just need to find me a source of my own income. And let go the fact that I need to be there for my mother to prosper. I still ain't sure how it will work out on that. But I guess I will never know if I don't go.

But I must live. So I gotta decide for me.

I shall find me some work. And some space to call my own.

I will cross my fingers.

And hope for a nice position out of town where I can ride a motorcycle more months than not. Okay, at least a good nine months is not the whole year.

Ya hear that world? Year round bike riding!

Anyway. I gotta finish dinner.

Wish me luck. And coherent thoughts if I lost any of you.

Can Y'all Believe This Shit?

2008-11-01T19:22:00.002-04:00

I am almost ashamed to claim the Metro Detroit Area as my home. Why? Because there are some seriously dumb and twisted folk up in this bitch! You don't believe me? Read this...

Supporting Obama? No treats for you at Grosse Pointe Farms house

Can I get a "What The Fuck???" up in here?

Thursday Thirteen: Wordless Wednesday Style: Eye Of The Beholder

2008-10-30T01:11:00.013-04:00

Thursday Thirteen Home

Y'all Know What THIS Is...

2008-10-27T23:49:00.002-04:00

Comment | Copy This

Okay, so maybe no picture. I didn't lie, my phone is acting a jackass. What can ya do?

A Guest Blogger @ A Dyssturbed Mined

2008-10-24T10:51:00.002-04:00

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Signed
Anaya Princess Marie

Oh Woe Is Me!

2008-10-24T09:56:00.002-04:00

Okay, no it ain't! But that popped into my mind for some strange reason.

Things are cool. The Wife is doing well. She went in for her two week evaluation on Monday. She finally got to see her leg again. It needs lotion but isn't bad overall. The doctor removed the tape around the sutures and that had been causing her some of the discomfort in the first cast. Now she has a nice purple cast (her favorite color). Which coordinated with her purple sweats that I bought her so she could leave the house without trying to squeeze her cast into some tight pants. THIS of course was a problem because the inactivity has allowed her to gain some weight. I am sure you can see where this is headed and why my hair is trying to turn a touch gray. It didn't help that the cleaning lady at her job had the nerve to say "girl you done picked up some weight!" I really could have murdered that woman right then because I been hearing the whole fat speech since then. LAWD save me!

And she has taken to entertaining herself with reading the gross stupidity that is known as the "letters to the editor" sections of various online sites. I don't relly think she believed how stupid things got when the great unwashed and unlettered get a forum to display their ignorance. Oh... wait... Does that sound elitist? Have I become an Obama? Eh-nee-waaaayyyyy... But yes, she is finding the opinions of the average american extremely entertaining. So I guess getting the computer working is generating benefits.

Mom seems to be doing okay with the rest of the folk looking after her. Hopefully things turn toward good a little faster soon.

I feel like a stretched rubber band. Not that I am complaining. There are benefits to being where I am. My days no longer are filled with finding ways to relieve boredom. I am relearning how to juggle things. I may just come back to life.

School updates: Midterm edition:

I am stil awaiting my score from my Astronomy exam. I don't know what happened to the scores. I guess I shall continue to wait.
I did the presentation for Systems Analysis. I could have gone better. I was thrown off a little by the fact that my group members had trouble keeping my visual aids on the screen. Especially since they were keeping me on track during the presentation since we couldn't have notes.
I got the midterm for that class back that same day. Chalk up that grand slam y'all! A hunned pacenn thank ya! The rest of the class didn't seem to do as well because he felt the need to offere a deal to encourage class participation. He is going to spit the difference between the midterm and final scores and add that to the midterm grade. So those who dropped the ball on the midterm get a chance to improve that grade by doing well on the final. Doesn't do jack shit for me, but then again I get what is going on! I don't need no stinking crutch!!!
Tonight I hand in the first assignment in my comptuer class. It works as it is supposed to. It is my original code. I have a flow chart and pseudocode. Hopefully it is all he asked for. Since he didn't require that we do data validation, I didn't add any. But it takes the required inputs. It gives the required outputs. My black box works to specifications as given. Should score high.
Got a quiz in Astronomy to finish before tomorrow night. Guess I will do the reading and take it before I leave. I am 10 points short of perfect on the quizzes. So I missed a question on tidal friction. I bet I got that sumbitch on the exam though.
Time to start concentrating on the DSS project Systems Analysis and the paper for Astronomy.
Assuming I don't have any major meltdowns, I should get at least two if not three A grades this semester.
Registration of the next semester starts the day before election day. All three of the classes I need are offered and I am in line for being done with classes in early may. Unless of course I opt for grad school...

Well, that is what is up on my front. I will attempt to be a little more regular now. I hope...

Another Update

2008-10-17T18:06:00.003-04:00

The wife is healing okay. She had a few foot bangers and a few too many times of sitting up to teach her that pain is your friend ONLY when you listen to it! She goes in for her checkup on the 21st. We shall see what happens.

I am trying to get this damn computer at her place working. After a couple of defective power supplies and a missing router config disk, I may be online to bother y'all again soon. I found the router disk and managed to get the dang router and the modem talking finally. The first power supply was defective and didn't stay on longer than about 15 minutes at a time. Took that back, and upgraded to a more powerful one (just in case there were power issues). Installed the second one and turned it on. I heard noises that I didn't expect to hear. Didn't hear noises I expected to hear. Smelled something funny. Reached for the power button. Saw fire. Reached for the power cord with the other hand. And BLEW THE DAMN FIRE OUT!!! Tomorrow I shall acquire power supply number three. In the meantime, I have been using the one from my computer to configure their computer. Cross ya fingas y'all!

But I have been enjoying my time with the people I am supposed to live with even though it isn't the place we are supposed to live. But I will take what I can get at this point!

Much love folk!
TSSE

Quickie

2008-10-08T16:24:00.002-04:00

Figured I would post SOMETHING since I am in front of a computer.

The Wife is through surgery. Recovering well (when she sits down).

I am back and forth between houses. So I still ain't got a handle on everything. So I came to campus to take my exam for my online class.

But the news isn't all bad so I shall keep on keepin' on.

I wonder what the world is gonna be like when folk can't live in the margin anymore? Can you imaging a credit free United States? The whole damn country will be a black innercity neighborhood... I got my hookup!

Temporarily Relocated...

2008-10-03T19:18:00.003-04:00

I have been away from home since the last update.

Last week The Wife was attending a rather exciting high school football game. As she was cheering on our nephew's seeming single handed heroics, she ran into a problem.

There was this really big (her description) white man standing behind her. Since there were no bleachers everybody had to stand... While they were jumping up and down and cheering, he landed on her heel. Usually this will give you a flat tire (your shoe back stepped down and off your foot). In her case he landed on her Achilles tendon. It snapped. For those of you unfamiliar with the concept, the Achilles is the major tendon between the calf muscles and the heel of the foot. Yep! Major!

So I have been staying with her this last week. Much to her mother's chagrin. But I have been the enforcer and the driver and such. So she is keeping off of it as best as I can manage it.

She will be having surgery on Monday (probably by the time most of you read this...) She will be off her feet for between 2-6 weeks. I will likely be between houses for that period. So forgive me if I seem to be laming out on y'all or something.

On the other hand. I have been working on getting her and the kids a little better access to a computer and the internet. So between this all and her incredible boredom... I might get her in after all!!! Y'all might actually get posts from her! Or even a full blown blog! But I ain't promising anything...

I will hollerate later as I can!

Love!

TSSE...

Temporary Hiatus

2008-09-26T16:18:00.005-04:00

Some of you may have been wondering where I have been for the last few days. Some of you probably think nothing of it because it ain't that unusual of me. BUT I have a good reason for not being here. I have been having a "beef" with the gods of energy in the old hometown. As a result my computer is suffering from a distinct lack of energeticness...

But we must press on.

So I will try to keep up with y'all as I can.

Until all of my energy needs are being met again, I shall be somewhat sparse. And coming from the library computers likely.

Of course y'all know that my excuse is gonna officially be that my comptuer is broke!!! That is at least the lie I am gonna tell in ya comment sections! Well not so much a lie, since it is broke if it don't work. And if it doesn't have something that it needs to work...

For now...
Love!
Peace!
aaannnndddd
SOUL!!!

Birthday Day!

2008-09-21T11:44:00.010-04:00

Today is the birthday of two very special ladies. Now I was gonna do a really cool and cute tribute to them and all that. But I won't. Why? I did mention that they were "special" right?

I was gonna post pictures and all and talk nicely about them. Put my admiration all out in public and be all gushing over them and such. It would have been a spectacular performance too! One good enough to make a wife jealous!!!

BUT!

I ain't gonna do that. Because one be playin' too much with Photoshop, yes we understand you got talent... And the other IS JUST FREAKING MISSING!!! AHEM...

So to the other, I will just say Happy Birthday Haremite Queen Of My Castle!!!

To the one...

Reasons Why I Might Not Come To Your Blog… By Opinionated Diva and The Second Sixty-Eight!!!

1. Comment Moderation…HATE IT!!! I know for some it’s a necessary evil, but I still hate it. When I leave a comment I like to see it right away. I also like to see what others have to say, so I’m not repeating exactly what someone has JUST said.
Well you are a lot nicer than me! I will straight up not even come by anymore if I gotta wonder if you got it or not. Usually I find that NOBODY is interesting enough for me to put up with that, blog stalkers or not...
And that word verification stuff is some bullshit too! Especially when the damn thing is longer than my comment!!!

2. Infrequent Posting…After a couple of days of nothing and not seeing you around the blog way, I just start thinking you’re on blog hiatus, so I don’t come by.
What? I KNOW you ain't trying to put a brotha on blast!!! All I know is you best have them butt cheeks around these parts on the regular. I mean harass me and e-mail stalk me. Call me and cuss me out. But you are obligated by the Harem code to come by here!!! Dammit!!!
Er... this ain't NECESSARILY about me? Oh... Well... wait... ... ... Hey!

3. Automatic Music players…*sigh* I REALLY hate these. They also slow your page down. I usually end up hitting the little “x” in the upper right corner, when I come to these pages. Which brings me to the next item…
You know you love it when I do that! But only if the post requires background music! Now everybody else...

4. Busy Pages…Too many pictures…too many surveys…too much every damn thing. These pages take FOREVER to load. I don’t care if I’m on the laptop at home or on the pc at work or on the crackberry…it’s still a slow download. Me and patience broke up years ago…not able!
Whoo lawd! You ain't said but a word! Wait... Mine ain't busy is it? Cause if it is then you need to upgrade...

5. Constant ~~Secks~~ Sex Talk…I enjoy talking about ~~secks~~ sex about as much as any other hot blooded female, however I need more than that. I don’t wanna read about how you got that good good or how big “junior” is or how much stamina you have either – some things should be left unsaid. In the past this wasn’t a big deal, but these days, I don’t comment on these posts.
Well, I ain't female. So I don't mind nearly as much... Okay, so what about constant sexual innuendo? Oh, and the strikethroughs are because we use grown folk words ova here!

6. No Reciprocity…blogging is a sharing caring community…you visit me and I visit you. I know I am guilty of not visiting everyone that visits me regularly though, so let me know if I’m neglecting you…it is purely by accident.
Yeah. I am trying to make sure that I at least put the page in my favorites if I don't read it that day. And I hate it when I don't get return blogrolled! Okay, I don't hate it. But I used to. But I decided that it was for me to keep up with MY favorites... Just because the other person is a busta...

7. Soliciting…Coming to my blog to advertise your blog, is how you get me to NOT come to your blog. I excuse this from my regs and other T13’rs, but new folks? It’s not necessary. I see a new name and I automatically want to see who you are. Chill.
You know I was gonna ask why you excuse it from the regs. But then I realized that sometimes we have such good stuff that we gotta tell you about it. Like I am gonna do as soon as I post this! But we are so in agreement!

8. Bad Grammar…I’m the queen of broken sentences and I deliberately use bad grammar (regularly)…because hell sometimes it’s just funny to type it that way, but I mix it up. There is a difference between what I do and people who have no business writing a post. These are usually the people who leave the most confusing comments too. *inside joke here* hee hee
Really? So who indeed is the joke really on? I too have encountered a few spots and comments that left me doing that confused monkey head scratch thing...

9. Ya Bore Me! Sorry. I know some people really write for their own enjoyment and this might include writing post after post about their boring life. Just because you have a boring life does not mean you can’t write it with humor and make it interesting. Hell…my life is boring. There’s nothing going on…but you gotta be able to poke fun at yourself and the boring stuff that happens to you to connect with your readers or at least to engage me.
Um... Okay... SOMEBODY is feeling a little mean or something... You know, remember "Keep in mind that I'm an artist. And I am sensitive about my shit" No? Okay... I am witcha sis! I just had to poke fun at ya mean ass!

10. Post Sagas…sometimes I’ll read a really long post and I’m engrossed because it’s just that funny or bizarre, etc. MOST OF THE TIME I AINT ABLE!!! Get to the point! Editing is your friend! So what THIS post is a long one!
LMAO @ "Editing is your friend!" I have grown accustomed to the really long post thanks to Ladylee and Freaky Deaky! You know I bet they can kill a cell phone battery! What? I only pick with those I really like!

11. I don’t like you and/or I can’t relate to you…it’s nothing personal (most of the time).
I need add nothing to this...

12. I don’t do motivational…OK…that’s not entirely true. I stole that line from Rashan - LOL. I lump all the excessively motivational, spiritual and infomercial-style posts in the same pile…and I avoid that pile!
Um... Yep! Except for Miss Kitty. She understands reciprocity (#6, huh?) and you always gotta have at least ONE friend around to keep you from being dragged through the gates of hell without notice. God knows the rest of you ain't able! And she ain't excessively either...

13. Creepy poetry…I don’t dislike poetry as a whole, but all that constant crap about unrequited love and nonsensical crapola that could mean THIS but might mean THAT, but since you’re trying to be so clever and poetic, you’re never really clear about what it is you mean…well all that confusing mumbo jumbo is annoying. Pass
Um... yyyeeeaaaahhhh... I tend to avoid poetry as much as possible. I am good thanks! Prose is my tool and I shalt use it! I may not know art, but I know what I like! Alright, I won't be elitist. SOME poetry is okay.

Now with all that said…there are certain bloggers that I would follow regardless…these are the people I harass to post…the ones who I email harass…text harass…or harass on any level really. Harassing is how I show you my love! lol
Yeah I know. And you been doing it to me from the start. BUT you don't have to harass me today! Cause YOUR post is up!

Happy Birthday Haremite Opinionated Diva!!!!!
Edit: And congrats to you and your family on the arrival of your spanking brand new nephew, only a day late...

DAMN!!! That Was Embarrassing!!!

2008-09-19T00:00:00.002-04:00

Oops!

I cannot help but to admit, I been slipping!

I seem to have forgotten something very important!

Almost too embarrassing to mention really.

Y'all probably gonna laugh y'all asses off.

Which will upset me and make me take my ball and go home!

Not that the hissy fit will make things any better.

Okay, MAYBE it would make me feel better...

Guess I will quit stalling and let you in on the secret too!

.

..

...

Um... I seem to have forgotten my own Second Blogiversary!!!!!

Guess I will have to go back and post one for that day!

Hell one for last year too!

At any rate... Fuck it!

Happy Blogiversary to me!!!!!!

Warning!!! Partially naked chick to follow!!!

Thursday Thirteen: Favorite TV Characters 2

2008-09-18T23:00:00.000-04:00

Here are a few more of my favorite characters as seen on TV. The first was man heavy so I flipped the script on this one.

The originators of this series can be found HERE

Edit: This is a redo. Not as good as the previous never to be seen version but I didn't think you all should have to suffer because of something you had no control over...

Nyota Uhura - The single greatest reason to travel in space in the 22nd century. Her and Yeoman Rand were the main two reasons all them Ensigns named Jones signed on to get maimed or killed on the Enterprise NCC-1701 (Not bloody -A or-B or -C or -D or any other letter...) That Kirk was one lucky muhfugga!!! I wish somebody would have forced me to kiss on that!

Grace Adler - Lucy is back! Red, gorgeous and funny as hell! Except this time instead of being a popular club owner, her Ricky is a gay lawyer. I guess that is progress. Man if only she could fill out a bra or some panties!

Kelly Bundy - Blonde, sexy, dumb, trashy. What more could a dude want for a Saturday night? This eye candy had me cracking up many days. She could still "knock me over with the weather". Her trying to graduate high school is still one of the best moments in TV history!

Alexx Woods - A smart woman in a sexy body enrobed in chocolate. How ain't that the hotness? What more needs to be said? Ladylee? Is that you? No? She is just playing you on TV huh?

Xena - Big, bold, beautiful and beat down. Yeah, the show was kinda campy and a little over the top. But I loved it anyway.

Piper Halliwell - She sure had me Charmed. Smart, sexy, talented, a little 'tude. She made me like skinny women again, the witch! All I wanna know is what a brotha gotta do to get a spell put on him?

Jack McFarland - Not a lady but a queen. And since Dana Scully was the lone lady on the last post, he gets her spot here. Wildly funny and way gayer than I could ever imagine a dude.

Trudy Joplin - This gal had a name plate on her desk that said "Big Booty Trudy"! I have been hers ever since!

Kelly Garrett - Everybody has a favorite Angel. This one was mine. How smoking is she? When I me the real lady some 20+ years after the show, she was STILL smoking hot!!! A tiny little thing though...

Denise Huxtable - After she lost them braces, she gained me! Yeah I got a weakness for light, bright and a shade from white. I gotta love me afterall. But she definitely made me look forward to college that year!

Max Guevara - Hot! The bad girl image, the motorcycle and the super powers only added to the wonderfulness! Hell I don't even remember what most of the episodes of Dark Angel were about. But I know why I was watching!

Catwoman - Each alone is a good reason for being in this list. Together omitting them would be a straight crime! Man I sure did like black sequined body stockings back in the day!

Wonder Woman - Do I really need to explain this one? Too bad that campy was the name of the game in the 60's and 70's when doing super heroes. Sure could use some of her now that Smallville seems to be creating the Justice League. Hell I didn't even know I liked Hispanic women until she came along!

Blogger Is A Jackass!!!

2008-09-18T20:41:00.003-04:00

Well. My Thursday Thirteen post seems to have come to a shitty end. Blogger is acting a straight jackass. So all of the content that I added over the last couple of hours is gone into the ether...

So...

Muthafuck you Blogger witcha bitchass self!!!!

ahem...

Back to your regularly scheduled programming... already in progress...

Even More Politricks?

2008-09-17T21:34:00.002-04:00

Something I found circulating on my Family's Website...
Apparently The Michigan Messenger posted the following article.
According to the Detroit News, The Obama campaign and the Democratic National Committee filed the suit in U.S. District Court against the Michigan GOP over this report. The Republican Party denies using such tactics.

Read and then research for yourself. But most of all be aware...

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Sarah Massey
PRNewswire

The Michigan GOP has announced plans to use a list of housing foreclosures as the basis for a broad voter-caging operation, as reported yesterday by Eartha Jane Melzer in The Michigan Messenger.

James Carabelli, chairman of the Republican Party in Macomb County, Michigan, has announced plans to assign "election challengers" to polling places to question the eligibility of home foreclosure victims based on residency.

"We will have a list of foreclosed homes and will make sure people aren't voting from those addresses," Carabelli told the Messenger.

Today Teresa James, attorney for the voting rights organization Project Vote, and author of the 2007 report Caging Democracy: A 50-Ye ar History of Partisan Challenges to Minority Voters, issued the following statement in response:

The Macomb County GOP's plan is a cynical partisan attempt to suppress the vote of thousands of low-income and African-American voters, a replay of the 2004 threats of mass challenges. Just because you're behind on your mortgage doesn't mean you lose the right to vote. All a foreclosure filing tells anyone is that the owners are behind on their mortgage; it does not mean a voter has necessarily moved. Foreclosures take time. And even if the plan is to only challenge voters whose homes have actually been sold at auction, the challengers will still achieve nothing but to slow-down voting and create an intimidating atmosphere at strategically chosen polls.

Michigan law says that challenges may be made at the polls if the challenger "knows or has good reason to suspect" a voter is ineligible. The Michigan Secretary of State has clarified this to require that challenges should be based on "reliable sources or means." Republican challengers with only a list of foreclosure notices will have NO evidence or reliable source to suggest that eligible voters have moved and are no longer eligible to vote.

This is just the latest -- and most transparent -- in a long history of racially and politically motivated GOP attacks against Michigan voters, designed to suppress votes by disenfranchising individual voters and creating confusion and delays at the polls. In 1999, right-wing volunteers in Hamtramck, Michigan systematically challenged the citizenship of voters with dark skin and Arabic-sounding names. In 2004 and 2006, Republicans reportedly recruited thousands of paid challengers to disrupt predominantly African-American precincts.

"If we do not suppress the Detroit vote," a GOP state representative was quoted as saying in 2004, "we're going to have a tough time in this election cycle."

As the Messenger reports, Macomb Count y is in the top three-percent of counties in the U.S. hit hardest by the foreclosure crisis -- and African-Americans, as the primary victims of sub-prime lending practices, make up the majority of these cases. African-Americans also tend to vote democratic, which is why it's not surprising that the GOP would target these voters for suppression.

Regardless of politics, no one faced with the possibility of losing their home should also have to lose their vote. Project Vote is writing to ask Michigan Secretary of State, Republican Terri Lynn Land, to instruct election officials that someone's presence on a list of foreclosure notices is not a legitimate basis for challenging that individual's right to vote. Project Vote will also send letters to both major parties, reviewing the acceptable criteria for voter challenges under Michigan law, and if necessary will file lawsuits on behalf of disenfranchised voters.

In America you get to vote even if you're behind on your bills. All Americans -- particularly those members of the community hit hardest by the economic crisis -- deserve a voice and a vote on Election Day.

Things Heard While On A Rant

2008-09-16T13:45:00.004-04:00

And we got nothing to be guilty of
Our love will climb any mountain...

I want to go outside, in the rain
It may sound crazy
But I wanna go outside, in the rain...

Living just enough
just enough for the city...

I'm never gonna dance again
Guilty feet have got no rhythm...

I'm sippin' on Tanqueray with my mind on my money and my mouth on the ganjay
R A G to the muthafuckin' E
Back wit my nigga S N double O P
Yeah! And you don't stop...

Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit.
He took the midnight train going anywhere...

Unforgettable
That's what you are
Unforgettable
Though near or far...

I got a penthouse in Manhattan
Two more in Malibu
I got an '87 Cadillac Seville
I got a Maserati too...

Would you mind
If I touched, if I kissed, if I held you tight
In the morning light, yeah...

As around the sun the earth knows she's revolving
And the rosebuds know to bloom in early May
Just as hate knows love's the cure
You can rest your mind assured
That I'll be loving you always...

I hope you
That you've been checkin' me
I know what you're talkin' bout
You got me trippin' on my own feet...

All alone on a Sunday morning
Outside I see the rain is falling, whoa
Inside I'm slowly dying
But the rain won't hide my crying, crying, crying...

Troubles With King Syndrome

2008-09-16T11:40:00.005-04:00

Yesterday's post was put out late last night. And you may have noticed it didn't have a title. Today a post with a title OOPS!!! NOW it has a title...

I figured out why it took me so long to do it. And why it was essentially a lazy blog that was typed.

Why do you ask? Oh several negative emotions regarding the folk I live with.

These derive from something I call King Syndrome. King Syndrome is where a man escapes the confines of life as is has come to be and falls into a world where he feels things as are they SHOULD BE. I spent the weekend out with The Wife. I tend to do this at least a couple of times a month. This happens for a few reasons.

I need time away from these damn inmates! Prison, asylum, call it what you want. But that is what they be!
To see how well cared for mom will be in my absence. I can't be here all the damn time and those other people she is supporting need to step up and earn their comforts without my interference (being their safety net).
With my wife is WHERE I BELONG!
Some exit strategies need to be phased in slowly instead of being forced on the populace at large unexpectedly.
There is a great deal of leechism going on here and I am tired of being one of them. My living expenses are being provided for me by not me. So I make the best of it by making sure the person who is taking care of me is as well taken care of as I can manage.

I could go on but I think you are getting the point. Needless to say, that wen I am gone, I start to feeling like a king again! But then I return and find myself amidst a black hole of motivationlessness. Never thought I would look forward to getting out to class like I do. I am starting to regret taking that web class. I could be staring at the young and inappropriately dressed instead of staying stuck in the house. But I know why I did that one. 10% laziness and 90% not leaving her to them for that many days in a week. Although I am gonna have to get over that...

The problem with King Syndrome is that good times come to a rapid end. And I return to... this place... It ain't home...

But on my return I notice several things almost immediately that are not right. This destroys the afterglow naturally. Good emotions are replaced with bad. I find myself pissed off because nobody really bothers to clean up after the dog. This means noboby bothered to take him outside so he WOULDN'T need to be cleaned up after. I mean hell I hate doing it sometimes but it is like a preemptive strike. I would rather be cold and sleepily walking like a drunk than smell a wood floor that has been pissed on. And I find that things are out of place or plain missing. Man, I feel my blood pressure spiking right now. If suddenly start talking crazy or you see the same character repeat itself a bunch of times, it is because you witnessed a stroke at the keyboard. Just thinking about that backwards ass shit is pissing me off.

IDK. Maybe it is just me and I am a closet control freak and need to get my shit together and... Okay fuck that. I ain't the one fucked up. The more order I try to establish in this joint the more chaos ensues. It ain't me. Anybody who knows me knows two things about me (that apply to this situation...) 1) I am live and let live. If you ain't messing up my groove, I ain't gonna be in yours. 2) EVERYTHING has a place. I am no neat freak, in fact I am somewhat packratish. But I think that for things to exist in my space they have to have a purpose and a place. So living with folk who don't understand that keeping their shit to themselves keeps me outta that shit and we all are happy is a problem. And in addition those same people not understanding that utility of things (and people) having a purpose AND a place bother me to no end. Hell I can't even get my damn mail without going on a damn scavenger hunt. I done found mail with my name on it in every room in the joint. Strangely enough it never ends up in the ONE place I am guaranteed to see it, the chair I am sitting in now.

And don't let me turn my back too long. The stuff that is used to provide comfort and support for the person who is taking care of this House of Leeches will walk the hell off. Mom is the only person who can't bathe herself (unless Lil B. is in the house), so there are wash basins here for that purpose. Why did I spend a half-hour last night looking for one while constantly bitching about the FOUR of them missing when I was trying to get her cleaned up? And she needed a shirt change once I managed to get her clean. Why could I not find one of the FIVE shirts I got for her LAST MONTH when her clothes were washed and returned earlier in the day?

Anyway. I am getting tired of bitching today. And since you have spent all this time reading all of this, I give you The Money Shot!

I am really hating this place and these folk. So if I tell you I am coming to a town near you sometime next summer, know two things.

We gots to hang! Eat, drunk and get merry and all that shit.
You got homework. Because I will likely be in the area because of an opportunity, so I am gonna know where the GOOD spots to live in your town are.
If it is biker dude calling, I may be coming to steal a corner in some unused room, if you got one (yeah I know I said two...)

Much love!

2008-09-15T23:21:00.005-04:00

You know. I ain't got jack shit today. Mostly because I don't feel like thinking. Or emoting out loud. Or... Hell I don't even feel like explaining.

I will give this another try tomorrow.

By the time you read this, I might actually have a real post up.

I ain't promising nothing though. I might feel the same tomorrow.

Dap to the fellas. Booty grabs to the ladies.

That is all...

Peace!

A Very Interesting Product

2008-09-12T13:33:00.003-04:00

You know. I think I might have to get me one of these...

If you feel the need to wonder why, either you don't know me or YOU need therapy!

What is it you ask? Well the answer is right here!

Campus Sightings

2008-09-12T00:00:00.002-04:00

I done seen some things on campus these last couple of weeks.

At this point in my life, things are pretty hard to come by that produce shock and awe. So of course me starting back to school exposes me to a lot of things that I might not necessarily see in my otherwise everyday travels.

I preface this by saying that the last time I was in class was almost 15 years ago. Children who were starting kindergarten are now classmates! Y2K was still more than half a decade away. Gangsta rap was hip hop. Fashions that were in then are on the verge of coming back. Long story short, things done changed a bunch!

Things that I found strange, shocking or noteworthy as spied by my naked eyes:

There was this dude I saw the other day who was probably the craziest looking thing I thought I would ever see. He was a white guy of average height. He was as skinny as a rail. He had a beard so full that it made Grizzly Adams look somewhat well shaven. But MOST noticeably he had the skinniest pair of blue jeans that I have ever seen on anyone sporting a package. How skinny you ask? Well, my older folk will probably remember the days when the ladies would buy a pair of jeans and then take them home and sew the seams so that they would fit close all the way down to the ankle. Well his were almost that skinny! And I mean high school skinny if you ain't catching on. Size zero skinny. I almost stared... hard...
Imagine the dude above with a hair game like the one below. But with black hair!

Y'all understand why I was tempted to stare?

I know fashions and modesty have changed. I see the kids running around nekkid here and there. But until I was nearly overwhelmed visually, I didn't realize how things changed. First is the shamelessness. Hooker brands galore. Thongs on display. Donkey asses with low rise jeans where you could swear you see the ass crack. Thick hips. Thick thighs. Milk maids. Tight shirts over round bellies. REALLY tight shirts where you can see the outline of the belly button crater. And enough cleavage to fill two years of Cosmo issues. I may be seeing the world through Dirty Old Man Eyes now. Whatever it is, I think I am gonna enjoy being on campus! Especially in the spring when they clothes come back off after the winter! I am almost sorry I am taking the online section of Astronomy!!!!

Can y'all imagine this chick with jeans that give her plumber's crack?

EDIT: For Realhustla... The two ladies in the above picture are Milk Maids. This is the basic configuration with the boob size, cleavage revealed and lack of shirt near the neck line in these approximate ratios. In other words, they make me want milk.... from the source... (actually these ladies are a bit smaller than what I been enjoying...)

Now I saw this kid, who seemed to be about 20 or so. I could be wrong but I think he is goth. He had on a black t-shirt and a black jacket.
He also was sporting some pants similar to these:

And he had some shit similar to this on his arms:

I was tempted to ask him what the deal was with the outfit. But I didn't want him to jump 60 feet up in the air and land on me with a 15 hit combo!

And I saw an old dude who was trying to relive old glory by riding his bike to class like many others... Oh. Wait... That was me... Boy did my ass hurt after that one! The ride was just fine but getting used to a bike seat again ain't the thing to do!

A Day Of Remembrance

2008-09-11T10:53:00.003-04:00

Today is the seventh anniversary of the worst terrorist attack committed on American soil. That is if you don't count the wars of previous centuries or various government policies...

The world has been an eventful place these last seven years. Because of this, that tragedy has become a thing that is fading from the minds of many who were not directly affected. You all have been living it as I have, so I need not get into the details.

But on that day, almost 3000 families lost loved ones. Why isn't really important today. That debate has gone on for a while now.

Since that day another 4100 or so families have lost loved ones in response to the attacks on that day. At least that is the chain of events we are being fed...

A cataclysmic event happened in 2005 which devastated a city and it's surrounding areas. Over 1800 died. Over 700 missing. Thousands and thousands of people displaced.

A day of elation and heartbreak in February of 1994.

The coldest day of my life happened in October of 1987.

I could go on. But I think you get the point.

Today is one of those days that should be set aside for remembering. Each of the above individual days is one that changed my life. Each event taught me something. Each event ended something that I did not want to end. Each event reminds me to remember the people and not the events. We have history books and documents for the events.

The other 4100 people also bear a lesson. But today is not for debating or teaching. Today is for remembering. And I shall remember again so the memories won't fade.

The Rapper In Me

2008-09-07T12:25:00.002-04:00

You know about umpteen years ago. Me and my cousin Profit J. were talking about music. Eventually the conversation turned to the kinds of dudes putting out records at the time. Hammer and Vanilla Ice were big then.

So and idea formed... Obviously talent was no longer needed to secure a contract! So me and he were thinking about forming a rap group!

Were were gonna call ourselves No Talent Individuals! The first single was gonna be entitled In It For The Money. On the album Mo Money To Get The Hunnies! He was gonna be Profit Jay. I was gonna be Unpoetic Lou. Our main hook was to sample Elvis songs. We were gonna be the crossover kings. We would have made a mint!

Ah the days...

Should have did that shit though!!!

School Madness: Tha Audio Update

2008-09-04T07:17:00.000-04:00

Comment | Copy This

Older Old Skool Joint

2008-08-31T00:00:00.004-04:00

I guess it is kinda hard to look REALLY masculine singing that damn high...

Really though. With the state of music these days, he could stand to make a come back.

New Old Skool Joint

2008-08-31T00:00:00.002-04:00

What ever happened to...?

Tha Weekend...

2008-08-30T00:00:00.000-04:00

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School Madness: Tha Update

2008-08-29T14:46:00.001-04:00

I went in for another round of advising because I was positively in a twist last night.

I get there after several misstarts getting out of the door. And it is a rainy kinda day so I ain't feeling that wonderful. After one tardy bus and one crowded bus I make my sweaty way into the office. I sign in and wait for about 10 minutes. While I am there I see this Indian/Pakistani guy sitting with a small baby. A couple of minutes later I see this thin and fine thing walk out and ask him "Is the baby OK?". At which point I nearly fall the hell outta my chair because this woman had to be either a size 0 or a -2. She must have looked like she was smuggling soccer balls when the kid was inside... But I digress...

Because a couple of minutes later I see some fine chocolate walked up in the office and go to the sign in sheet. I thought she was another student until she called my name. So I followed her (with a slight grin) right past my own advisor and to her office. So already my day is better. I tell her about the registration process nearly making me lose my religion last night. So we dig into the transcript and did a quick audit of the classes.

One of the classes I don't have to take because it isn't offered any more. Cool! Three fewer credits and nearly a grand saved! Another I had passed and as long as I bring a B in another course, it should even out if it isn't already. The class I was registered for I did indeed pass previously, so one more off the list of those needed...
My Physics course grade never got submitted for whatever reason so... I am taking Chemistry! It was a Physics course for Physics majors, so the professor told me at the time, an it was mind bending! Fuck that! Not doing that again! Then again... Scratch that! They would require me to be on campus three days for an hour and TOO early for me to take Chemistry! I am taking Astronomy!!! And it is a web class!!!
I figured out which computer course I actually needed last night. I just needed to see how many credits I had to take to get there. So the 2 credit class is registered for...
And my Systems Analysis class is registered for because I stunk that one up bad before!
The capstone course for the Business school, Business Policy, needs advisor approval and it wasn't open at the time. But they may make you manually register for that one... The Software Tools for Business Applications and Information Systems Policy and Management classes are only Winter term classes.

So that leaves four business courses, one computer science course and one natural science course and I am DONE! Three and Three (barring surprises) and I am out!

School Madness

2008-08-29T08:54:00.002-04:00

I must be getting old. And I am not so eager to start classes suddenly. I say these things because I am still not really registered for classes. I spent like four hours yesterday playing around with things. I was trying to find the non-existent class my advisor gave me. I then realized that she told me to take a different class that I already passed. I was attempting to reconcile the needed classes from the bulletin with the missing classes on my transcript. I came to the realization that half of the damn classes I need are either offered NEXT term or currently closed. ALL of my damn classes will be at night since the one I already took was the lone daytime class. These night classes are gonna cause a serious problem for me since carrying firearms in dorms and classrooms is illegal in Michigan. But riding busses at night in my neighborhood unarmed is not really all that smart. And no car... OH yeah. I almost forgot, there are two classes on my transcript I need to readdress but one doesn't seem to exist anymore and the requirements seem to be changed regarding the other...

Forgive me if you pass by me today and I seem to look confused.

Anyway, lemme shut the hell up and get my ass to her office so we can get this shit cleared up. Cause I REALLY don't wanna deal with Late Registration.

Damn! And it is raining...

At least my financial aid papers are filled out and submitted. I sure hope they don't give me these kinda problems...